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Everything posted by BjarkeT

  1. I think education gives us a huge advantage in life it give us the ability to know something that we never knew before or how we can accomplish our goals. There is a lot of good books out there and courses that for example give us the ability to be a superstar if we chose to take action on it. It doesn't mean its easy but its a huge step up from not knowing what to do at all to know what steps you need to take. Without education, you may be stuck for years or a lifetime in a certain area of your life but with the right education you are no longer stuck and know what to do. Its also a powerful tool to change your mindset for the better. would be great with a video on this.
  2. I agree would be a good video. Also when you having a interest in something and see someone better than you how you can avoid getting discouraged in that situation or when avoiding getting discouraged or self doubting when learning hard things.
  3. I don't think most people are ready to hear that they are god and so on it's so different from what most people believe in.
  4. Read a lot of what Cal Newport writes. He talks about a lot on how to find focus in a distracted age. For motivation, it helps with a long-term vision of what you want to accomplish. Don't look for motivation outside yourself. Your motivation should be strong enough to make you work past challenges that are outside your comfort zone and may be uncomfortable.
  5. I was in a bad state where I couldn't even look at people due to anxiety so I wanted to look for solutions and read the book feel the fear and do it anyway and that's what I ended up doing. It helped. I also watched a lot of Leos videos such as blame vs responsibility and how to deal with strong negative emotions. I try to watch a video a day from his channel regardless if I find it interesting or not because there is some value from it anyway.
  6. For me, it seems pretty easy to be "disciplined" just turn what you need to do into a habit and it becomes easier to do. For the last 13 days, I have been practicing piano for 3 hours every day and it wasn't that hard because I made it into a habit. Stop thinking you need motivation to do what you need to do just pull yourself together and do it. Sometimes there really is no way out of it but once it's done you won't have to think about it for the day and once you actually do it you will realize it isn't actually that bad. In essence, it's just: "I don't feel like it but I am just gonna do it anyway" It can help of course if you have a bigger vision/purpose for what you want to do.
  7. I would say so at some areas. In the past i would have the urge when watching a movie or leos videos to multitask by doing something else at the same time but now I can just sit and listen/watching the movie without feeling the need to be distracted and I feel like more and more I can make my self do things which I should do even if I don't feel like it, for example, reading for an hour when you don't feel like reading. I never really had a anger problems. Also I still have some anxiety but whenever it comes I try to just let it go(or first fully feel it and then let it go) and be free of worry.
  8. One which I follow which doesn't seem to be mentioned here is Bulldog Mindset. He goes into the more basic personal development stuff which I think is good to watch if you aren't in the higher stages yet(I don't claim to be in the higher stages lol).
  9. The motivation should come from within and not from someone else.
  10. For a long time I didn't feel like I got results with composing music so I spent a lot of time researching on learning how to learn which I feel like have helped me. My conclusion so far to become better at creative things is to study the master's works and learn from them and get feedback from an expert.(And a lot of other things mentioned in Deliberate Practice) I think whatever area you want to improve research is important but you can do it in many ways like reading a book, Interview an expert and learn from their experience, watch videos, Take courses, and so on. If you are stuck it may help to interview someone who has overcome your obstacle and figure out how they did it. It can take a while but the key is to be persistent and never give up on your goals.
  11. You don't have to choose one or the other you can choose both, Just choose different periods where you go between them or spend your free-time on self-actualizing. For me, it's Piano/composition and Self-actualizing and I try to do all 3 things because all 3 are important to me. If you don't already do this I recommend scheduling/planning your time this will help you become intentional about what you do with it and may help to find time to both of those things. I use Notes on ios to do this and use a mix of weekly daily goals by Scott Young and fixed schedule productivity by Cal Newport. Whatever system you choose use something that has as little friction as possible. The more friction the less likely you are to use it long term.
  12. Some anxiety causes me to shake sometimes usually when holding something in my hand in front of others but not when I am alone any tips on dealing with this? I think it's a fear I have that if I shake they would think I am weird which causes the shaking because I am getting worried lol
  13. Creativity comes from a long time spent in Deliberate Practice where one practice beyond your comfort zone to improve on a specific goal/skill. When you are outside your comfort zone but not too much your brain will adapt to the situation and it will become easier. Once you have gotten good at a skill you will experience what’s called flow or the flow state it is the reward for learn something hard. The reason someone might not be good at something is simply because of the lack of time spend in deliberate practice. The greats have probably spent 10000 or 20000 hours or more in that state maybe they gave their whole life to be that good. Quote from Anderson Ericksson: “The reason that most people don’t possess these extraordinary physical capabilities isn’t because they don’t have the capacity for them, but rather because they’re satisfied to live in the comfortable rut of homeostasis and never do the work that is required to get out of it. They live in the world of “good enough.” The same thing is true for all the mental activities we engage in,” “What is the exact nature of the ability? and, What sorts of training made it possible? In thirty years of looking, I have never found an ability that could not be explained by answering these two questions.” “If you wish to become significantly better at something, you can.” it also has to do with fixed mindset and growth mindset: In a fixed mindset students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that's that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb. In a growth mindset students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching and persistence. They don't necessarily think everyone's the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it. —Carol Dweck, Stanford University
  14. There is this girl where I live that takes every opportunity that is about me and turns it to something negative. I have bearly even spoken anything to her or done something wrong against her at last of what I know of. How do you deal with this or just negative people in general?
  15. The title says it all. I don’t want to live the easy life anymore and want to know examples of what some hard things are but rewarding in personal development.
  16. I haven’t been through what you have so I can’t speak for experience but just from how I understand what you wrote. I think one thing that might be holding you back is worrying too much what other people think of you (one tip might be don’t focus so much on you’re thoughts rather focus on how you feel and try to express how it comes naturally) and an other is to learn to accept yourself. Hopefully here are some videos that could be useful. Best of luck!
  17. @NoSelfSelf No she isn't like that I know that even if I stick around for long it will not turn into a relationship since she is aromantic she said that she never had any feelings like that for anyone and maybe never will. It is a real thing. And I am not saying that I was using the hope strategy rather that waiting for the girl to say it seems to be that. Is age really important? Age does not equal experience. worrying about being seen as an alpha male or beta male just seem to be an insecure way of living worrying that people will see you as weak.
  18. I have two questions the first is how to do you deal with rejection when asking a girl out? I guess my fear is that she will view me differently than before and talk less to me or it will be awkward afterwards. And second: I have known her for years but haven't asked her out directly but now we live in separate cities is it a good idea to ask her out if we live far apart?
  19. @NoSelfSelf What about “The hope strategy” it seems like if it the girl that need to ask you are just putting your faith in hope. And she is aromantic so It was never going to happen anyway Alpha male or not.
  20. @NoSelfSelf umm why not? She seemd totally cool with it and we’re still the same as before.
  21. It got to the point where i try to take responsibility for other peoples problems and try to help them when I should be sleeping lol. When I need to do something I try to give it my all for example with cleaning the house or playing games like board tennis. I asked a girl out but no response now I will study dating seriously. I also tried to think up of a solution from COVID 19. What if you could make a cure that spread the same way the virus does but instead of doing harm to people it’s cure them for CODVID 19 that would fix it fast but probably hard to make something like that without it has serious consequences. it can sometimes take a lot of energy from you. lol I also tried to think a solution to this which the key might be balance.
  22. @Roy I got an answer but it took a few days. She said that she might be aromatic so she haven’t had any feelings like that for anyone at least what she know of.
  23. @w4read The problem it caused I feel like is that it can take a way a lot of energy sometimes but it can also be rewarding. But I think you are right about that I need to practice balance as well. “does it only come from watching Leo's videos or is it a principle you have lived with for a longer time?” Actually it’s both lol I have been watching leos video a few years ago I think and tried to lived by it since. The reason I hold on to it is that I realize that any personal problem I have in life will remain a problem unless I do something about it. I belive it’s similar to external situations. It’s also what scott m peck talks about here: “Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.”
  24. @Vittorio I don’t get why It doesn’t make sense. I just wrote how I feel. I basically just believe in what Leo talks about here.