assx95

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About assx95

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    India
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  1. @Anna1 I will let her get back to me. I am majorly the one doing the pursuing. Yeah, have met her irl.
  2. @Anna1 I have mixed feelings about this. I don't always feel this way. I could end up loving her regardless with time. I don't know. Just yesterday i was thinking about going on long walks on the beach with her, and today it will blew up in my face. I feel like a jerk. Maybe, I will tell her that I am no longer attracted to her.
  3. @Anna1 Your advice is destructive. It will destroy her. To be fair, i didn't mention that she is developing some low self esteem. Also it will kind of destroy my chances for any future relationships if i am to be completely honest with every girl I meet. Don't take it personally though. Thanks for taking the time to post your opinion.
  4. Long distance Relationship. Early phase. Although i was friends with her for over 3 years. She posts a picture and i don't find her attractive. She was cute, but now her looks are fading. And all these true feelings I had just melted away. I am a shallow man. I thought i was truly in love and connected spiritually with her. But I was wrong. I feel bad for her now. And for myself. We haven't actually committed yet. But have expressed that we have feelings for each other. I now realize this will be true for every woman i end up dating or looking at, as a potential mate or partner. That i will primarily be with her, because of the way she looks. How do I confront this? How can I be honest with women now? I didn't know i was so manipulative. I am 24 in case age is relevant to the discussion.
  5. @CreamCat Thanks, I will work on that.
  6. I am preparing for competitive exams which are in 2 months, and i am getting distracted, watching porn and youtube, and i can't stop doing it. In a certain way, i have this subconscious desire to fail. This other side of me, which wants to keep getting pleasure all day is overpowering me. What do i do? I need this to stop.
  7. To put it into context, I am 24 living in one of the metropolitan cities in India. I understand how the term Incel is derogatory to women. Women don't owe me sex. At the same time, my body (or rather I) craves for sexual contact with women, when i get horny. Solo female pornography where women display their selves, is I think one of the most beautiful things a person like me could ask for, where i can choose the women i am attracted to, and pretend to make love to her. And spill myself. In real life however, i look average. I have a girl in my life, but it is long-distance. We haven't defined the relationship yet, but we flirt a lot and act like a couple. Went out with her like 4 times in total over 3 years. Yeah, poor numbers. That being said, the amount of rejections i've had to deal with, in nightclubs or otherwise while asking someone I know on Instagram is say about 60-70 so far in total. If i go to a nightclub tomorrow, i will probably end up with a number or two, but any attractive girl I choose (I know i'm guilty of not picking the ones I don't find attractive, i don't even notice them), will have 10 other dudes texting her, and commenting on her Instagram, and so it takes a lot of investment on my part to even keep a girl's attention, and much more for her to feel the spark if I feel it too. And given how busy everyone has become with their 9 to 7 jobs, at least here, it is like that. There's no time. I know i could just sit back and relax. Focus on other intriguing aspects of life such as books, psychedelics and spirituality in a broader sense, and run the clock out, as it will. I could be genuinely fulfilled as i am when i do strong determination sittings. My parents will force an arrange marriage on me when I turn 30, but i don't like the idea. I could go to Thailand or some Latin country for sex tourism, but i don't like that idea either. At this point in my conscious evolution, i see the meaninglessness in the things that will unfold in the future. Not in a negative connotation, but a sense of indifference. It doesn't matter. and if it does, i will do it. I am a cog in a wheel. I am replaceable even by a woman i love most dearly. I have cried like 5 times in the past when that happened, but now it doesn't break my heart anymore. I try because i don't have the freewill to not try. I just don't see what is there to do or accomplish in this world, than just live it out. Am i just here on earth as a human, to rant, to do my own thing, possibly bliss out, and that's it? I just cannot come to terms with it. With it all.
  8. My hand shivered a bit while I read this. I already know that whatever I do, i.e, the words i am typing right now, I don't control it. That there is expression through me, an expression which i cannot claim as mine.
  9. @arina456 True story. It does happen like that.
  10. Being dead feels exactly like being alive. What if i am dead, and i am doing the same things i did, when i was alive? I wouldn't have known when death happened, and i would have continued on, like its' another moment. For a moment, i thought i was a spirit trapped in a spirit world. There was a sense of calm, everything seemed unreal as in a dream, i felt like i knew nothing, and then the terror kicked in, that if i am dead, what am i actually doing? And i threw up. I couldn't stomach the idea that I might be dead, and the people in my life could be the figments of my imagination like in a dream, and that i left the real world behind. There was this feeling of eerieness and horror. Like what now? I am trapped. This is hell. This is horrible. Even though i could have moments where i am at peace with everything, and it's a thing of beauty. Kind of like an LSD trip, and i am fully sober. TL;DR: A re-contextualization happened, that i am in a spirit world, and for it be that way, i must be dead in the material one.
  11. @Wisebaxter Her retelling of Tim's misadventures was hilarious. She loves Tim, despite how condescendingly she speaks of him. Hearing your story, i feel like she was trying to tell you not to fuck up like Tim, but also acting, influencing and misdirecting you in a way that you fuck up. It's all about Tim, for her. Be less emotionally invested in her, than you are in yourself (This is from Mark Manson's models). Surprisingly, even thinking about what could be wrong, and that you might have fucked up is neediness. You just tell her what you want tell her ( Be less invested in her opinion of what it will sound like, and more invested in what you want to convey). And this is from RSD- Maintain your frame. One moment you are killing it, and then she gives you dead silence, or texts something harsh. You react to it : you play it to her ends. What's your vision of how you'd want it to be like? Don't buy into what's trying to sell, instead sell your own thing. I have this situation, right? it's with a new girl. Not the one i talked about earlier. I told her one day, that i went offline for a while, and i don't where to start. Whatever we had between us, we are stuck. And she just went dead silent on me. I reacted to her Insta story a few days later saying she's cute and all that, and she reacted positively, seeing that response, i asked her out for french fries? This girl, is posting stories on Insta, and has not even seen my DM. I feel rejected af. What am i going to do? I ask myself- No matter how cute she was, do I really want to have french fries with this girl now? The answer is a resounding no. Who she was earlier, and what she is now, how would she actually face the fact that she left me stranded? And still have fun with me? Unless she has a good excuse, in which case she'll respond. So, i think rejection is a win-win. Although it hurts.
  12. @Pav Thanks. Thing is, I am familiar with Todd valentine. Watched his vid, and got an idea. And texted her something cute, and now she's responding positively.. A reply to silence couldn't be questions or making plans, but something funny, witting or interesting. He was kinda right. Also Owen is a legend.
  13. @Simon Håkansson Such a wonderful advice. Wow. Just wow.
  14. @Leo Gura Similar experience, except it was a black beetle in me. Wanted to ask this - Could you stay calm with like 5 insects inside both of your ears? Of,course it makes sense to panic and try to get them out as soon as possible, But could you if you wanted just let it be cause you don't care about your survival no more?