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About assx95

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  1. I was reading about this King in Kerala, India who witnessed the Moon splitting into two. He asked everyone about it. Then the Arab Merchants brought him to Arabia, where he met Muhammad the Prophet of Islam, and he converted. This could have been an eclipse or I really am open-minded to believe that if God wills, the moon could be split in half. If this event did happen, what are the implications? If it was an eclipse, where the sun caused the moon to look as if it was split, it sure must be a great coincidence that it happened when the Pagan Arabs wanted to see a miracle. I don't know if this happened. If it did happen, these are signs of someone powerful. I wouldn't jump to the immediate conclusion that it was God. There could exist a being powerful enough to split the moon in half. Or just like I can fly in a dream, this is more like- Lucid dreaming that the moon has been split, and that would mean, I am still in the dream or it could be like what the Muslims say, it was God who made it happen. How does one know the truth?
  2. Currently, I will be just preparing daily reports about market movements. Our clients are investment banks who have high net worth individuals as their clients, who want key information on the markets on their fingertips before the stock market in their country opens. So we provide them that. I want to be working and learning about portfolio management before i jump into becoming a full time trader. And investment research is much different than being an investment banker. So, don't get that mixed up. I have just started in this field. 1 month in, and I'll be at the very complex end of my job, be preparing financial models to evaluate investment risk. Right now, it's just making reports.
  3. I love this girl. At one point in time, she loved me too. She was the first to say - I love you too back to me. I don't know if i became too needy, or too demanding or what needs of her I couldn't meet, or whether i wasn't man enough, she broke up with me 4 months ago. All the feelings in me, were intact, and i surprised her by visiting her hometown. She was excited to meet me. And it felt like, we would get back together. Then when i started to flirt, and the vibe become sexual, and i told her that i wanted to kiss her, she said, it's not happening. This was when we were in her car. I know i cannot give every single detail. She did let me hold her hand, we did a dance together near the river front. I then told her about this dream/vision, i had of me and a baby girl playing near the river, waiting for her. And she was quick to say- She's not our baby girl. You're not having it with me. We then went out to a fancy restaurant by the pool. And I know i should have left long time back and not continued this. I told her - I would never go out with any other girl on a date, cause you and this moment are most special to me. And when she broke up 4 months ago - I told her- I would never say - I love you, to a girl, again. Those words were for you and you alone. I won't repeat it to anyone else. Here's the anti-climax, or the stupid part - While i was touching her hair, while we were in the restaurant, i got a boner. And i told her that. Later, while leaving, she told me- We could meet again but only as friends, i said- No, i can't be just friends. Then she said -It was the last time we're meeting. I text her days later- I feel hurt. She ends up calling me disgusting for having said - I had a boner, while in the restaurant. And then she blocks me. There are more nuances and context to the story but this is it roughly. I want to keep my word. And the toughest part is i know she isn't coming back and many would say- Why would you want someone who doesn't respect you, don't you have self respect? And to that, i would say- I want to keep my word cause I truly love her.
  4. I am currently working as a research analyst in a financial services company. I want to be a full time day trader.
  5. I already know i want to work in finance. Will the life purpose course add value to my life?
  6. Speaking of day game, i approached, got a number, got her out on a walk, she flakes the second time i ask her out, and says we are incompatible when i ask her out again. Another girl, i text her, left on read. Another girl, she didn't even respond when I said Hi to her in person. Another one i complimented on her ring, she smiles, and then i go blank. What should be my realistic expectations when it comes to Daygame? I am not good at small talk. And i have to start from ground zero. Although i do have ~40 approaches i have done. I am able to give compliments and then little small talk. Not more. I have no idea how to flirt except by making direct compliments. Similarly, when it comes to physical escalation, i'll do light touches on the shoulder when she says something fun but that's it.
  7. I don't want to masturbate. I want to fuck real girls. I haven't jerked off for like 18 days. I am on college campus but it's not that big. And most girls are committed, or i don't find them attractive. The few who were single and who i find attractive, i tried on them, and i didn't get anywhere. There are a few more. How do i deal with this? And I am a virgin which makes it harder.
  8. Noted. Psychs are hard to come by. A few years from now. Yeah, I'll have it.
  9. This gives me some understanding, not complete though. I'll have to find it out myself. Thx
  10. I was doing self-inquiry in my own way. And then i could see how my hands aren't that different from the Laptop. It just looks different but is essentially the same substance. In this world, I was nowhere to be found. Then i was aware of a formlessness but it's more like nothing being aware. I still wanted to identify as something, and i could see the absurdity of me just being the body or my thoughts or my feelings, cause all things seemed like the same substance. I don't understand, am i imagining things? If i am not, what is form, and what is formlessness? Is there a difference?
  11. I'm 26, i'm in a B school campus in India. I was texting this girl and i was about to meet her and she blocked me. I got left on read by a few girls. And those who know me don't give a f about me. I was feeling sad and then i told this girl I knew- I cried today and am having social anxiety. She invited me over to smoke weed. I was feeling low and weak and awkward, and no one in the room, there were few girls and guys,they didn't like my vibes. So, there's that. I am not getting invited again. This morning, I felt ashamed of being a virgin. All my confidence was shattered after multiple rejections and after I almost didn't respect myself enough for being who i am. Here's the thing: I would work on myself. And build my social skills. Learn pickup from the RSD material i downloaded. I just want advice that if i fail to attract a girl who wants to have sex with me. Is it a good or a bad idea to do it with a hot hooker or something by paying for it? I have no idea the impact it will have on me if i go for paid sex. Also about my dating history: I have dated only two girls so far. But I messed it up.
  12. This is really embarrassing, I was in Delhi, India. I was approached by some local Muslim girls who belong to a Dargah (which is different than a mosque, it's a burial site of a venerated Muslim saint). She told me I could ask for anything and my wish would be granted. I was so naive. I gave her 10 INR. She then told me I need to do it with a bigger note. What a fool I was. I opened my wallet. She told me she would not return back the money. I gave her a bigger note. She took the money by force and crushed it. I didn't think of physically tackling the girls, cause they were girls, I lost a good 30 USD equivalent of cash. I was embarrassed and i felt stupid.