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About nightrider1435

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  • Birthday 10/02/1995

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    Dallas, Texas
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  1. How would one go about tapping into love? The only thing that comes to mind is Mdma. I've experienced so much ego back lash since breaking serious ground, I'm watching my mind eat itself alive, its exhausting. Ego is making a huge deal out of dieing, its out of my control other than to just be aware of the chaos. You've said once the ego dies you feel a huge sense of relief like why was I so desperately clinging on this entire time, this hasn't happened yet.
  2. I'd start with 100ug and take it on a empty stomach.
  3. @Quanty Fast growth is more of my style, all though my mind complains and gets irritated with the process, I'm use to it at this point. Not sure how this will unfold but I know it will be worth it, don't really have a choice at this point. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  4. Sounds like you're doing good. Mediation is going to dissolve your ego over time, mind is throwing existential fear at you in defense.
  5. I feel heat at the base of my spine alot, it happens during mediation and even throughout the day. It feels like a volcano waiting to erupt down there sometimes. Its an orgasmic like feeling in my spine, sometimes it can be pretty distracting. I've felt this down at the root chakra, heart, even the third eye area. I've been doing nofap and cold showers which seems to arouse the energy even more. Is this the so called "kundalini" that everyone talks about? I'm about a year into my Awakening now, and my intuition is hinting that I'm on the edge of another big break through.
  6. I do agree with this 100%.
  7. @Phrae Yeah instead of letting an office job that you hate ruin your life. I was leaning more on take responsibility for your happiness when I said that. You want truth then go for it, quit your job and become a monk. Do what makes you happy.
  8. You have to take responsibility for your life, and I'm not saying its easy either. Hard to settle with a job that hate, especially if you're doing conconcious work. I've been in this position before and switched jobs because of it.
  9. Sounds like you already know, just work on you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment.
  10. @Truth You can order magic truffles online legally or learn how to order off the web markets if you want. People who smoke weed may know where to score some acid or shrooms, just have to ask, that's how it worked out for me.
  11. Yes, I remember as a young kid I would ask myself this question "what if I didn't exist?". I would inquiry so deeply into that question that I would actually freak myself out at times, this happened often when I was a kid.
  12. This has been in the back of my mind for quite some time now. Sounds like an adventure but your're still going to need some source of income for a car, insurance, gas, general car maintenance, unexpected repairs, food, phone, etc. You're going to need money to survive out there, you can't just live in a car and skate all day. You could possibly make this work if you already have some money saved up, live a very minimalist life, and work part time.
  13. @Neo No shit. I was typing my post before I saw yours.
  14. Who is asking this though? You glimpsed it because you we're in a state of "not knowing". This is why Leo says in the beginning that someone who's never heard of spirituality might have a good chance of having an enlightenment experience. Now you're trying to force the experience to happen again, your're trying to get "somewhere", but that nothingness is always here and right now.
  15. @Ether Mind shenanigans, that's homeostasis for you, it wants you to remain the same. Set realistic goals and start small so you don't overwhelm yourself. For example you set a goal that you want to exercise for an hour a day but the mind is like nah fuck that man. So you might just start out with 20 minutes a day and that's OK, eventually you work yourself up to an hour. The thing with nofap is once you keep at it for awhile your body is going to build up with sexual energy and this energy can be a good kick in the ass to get things going, you'll be more motivated.