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Everything posted by nightrider1435

  1. It's alot for the ego to take in when you first awaken. I remember walking around in absolute shock of what I was seeing, I essentially went from duality to non duality over night after a mushroom trip. There is bliss but then comes the laundry so watch out for that. Once you open up the rabbit hole this is when you truly start walking the path.
  2. @khalifa Take some 5-htp, it could help the body and mind to relax.
  3. @Identity I think that would be full enlightenment, you couldn't be here anymore if that was the case.
  4. The ego will pull all sorts of tricks in an attempt to delude you back into illusion. You saw god, you are god, it's a matter now on how deep you want to take it. The one who says this is to much and I can't live with this is not even real!! Lol
  5. You can't go back once you reach this point. The mind can try to cover it up but once the illusion is exposed you can't return to a lie.
  6. Eat heavy foods, go out in nature, take a break from any spiritual practice that you might be doing. You need to direct the energy somewhere it can be used. It's a life force energy, it wants to experience itself through you. Go hit the gym and break a sweat, physical exercise can be the best for calming this energy down. It might feel overwhelming because you're not doing anything with it other than letting it sit there.
  7. @Conrad You know nothing about this person, telling someone to just go for it can be very dangerous advice.
  8. @Justincredible76 If you haven't experienced an ego death breakthrough yet then I wouldn't consider 5meo, you are no where near that ballpark. You just run the risk of overwhelming your psyche if your're not ready, and coming out of the experience completely traumatized.
  9. My problem with cannibis is it can give me good insights but I can never seem to bring it back down to the sober mind.
  10. So I tripped last night on 2g of shrooms and overall it was good. I was blissed out and seeing myself as everything. Lots of laughing... because I was conscious that it was just me talking to myself my entire life. I figured my peak was over and I was coming down, so I decided it would be a good idea to smoke the devils lettuce. Well... that's when the trip took an unexpected turn. It felt like I was going into a peak again, but in a more twisted way. I was concentrating on an object in my room, and it triggered me to go into a ego death. It happened so fast and very spontaneous. All of a sudden my heart rate skyrocketed, this sense of intense fear washed over my entire body. I really triggered my ego last night to a new degree, this was a type of fear that I had never felt before. My inner voice started to become really dark. I was sitting on my bed with my hands death gripping my mattress and with a snarl on my face, almost like a wild animal. I wasn't in control of my body at this point, and it felt like I had this angry entity inside of me. I was in such a detached state of being that it literally felt like my own mind attacked me. My mind felt like this hissing snake in the corner of a room. I was becoming to one with everything, to the point that it felt like my experience was dissolving into this black hole. My 23 year old male ego wasn't having it, the ego was in a full panic trying to keep itself constructed. This was out of my control, I couldn't get myself to surrender to this. The best way I can think of describing this is it felt like my experience was crystallizing together. Imagine a shattered window that's still intact becoming a perfect window again. I ended up just trying to distract myself the best I could by listing to some music so I could just ride it out. What would had happened if I surrendered and let it play out? Shit, I don't know. That was a very.... humbling experience, my ass got handed to me. It's hard to put into words how intense this really was though. I will never smoke weed during a psychedelic experience ever again, because everything was fine up until that point. I've read similar reports on reddit, weed tends to turn trips dark and twisted. Be careful about mixing anything with a psychedelic, you never know what could happen. This was my first bad experience with a psychedelic out of about 12 trips now.
  11. @Chi_ Before I smoked it felt like I still had control of the trip and I could steer it where I wanted to, but after smoking it was like the steering wheel gets ripped away, and my mind completely lost it. But you are right, I wasnt in the best state of mind before starting this trip.
  12. @Nahm It most certainly did help. I think I've been tripping to much lately, I was getting cocky so the shrooms had to teach me a lesson. My intuition was hinting to not trip but I did it anyways. I'm still feeling a bit uneasy but I know I'll recover more from this as time goes on. I'm just feeling more detached from my reality more than I would like. Even right now as I type this my mind knows it isn't real, and it doesn't like that.
  13. @SoonHei The thing that was making me the most uneasy was the inner voice, it was going absolutely nuts. Everything went from blissful to wow, my mind is starting to freak me out, I just want this to end. It truly is challenging to remind yourself that you took a drug and that this experience will end when your caught up in it. When your in that state time isn't linear anymore. I was just repeating to myself that everything was ok and that I am safe.
  14. @Consilience I defiantly smoked more than I should. It just completely blindsided me, all that bliss came crashing down and all of sudden I was having this dark experience.
  15. @Paul92 Perhaps you should just take a break from spirituality and keep focusing on carefree living and your hobbies, like you said. Sometimes being to "woke" and seeing yourself as everything isn't a pleasant thing. It's ok to live in duality.
  16. Sounds interesting, I'm just going to stick with Lsd and shrooms for now. Be careful with these substances guys.
  17. @Tai Hey that's awesome, glad I could be of help.
  18. Dosed 2g of pure psilocybin extract at 10pm last night. I've been taking these 2g trips every two weeks lately, and this one ended up being a pretty intense experience compared to my other trips. This one was more intense due to the fact that I smoked some weed before the two hour peak started to settle in. For me when I take shrooms it takes about an hour for the trip to start and then I enter this two hour peak where I'm just rising and rising and rising until you reach a climax then you start coming back down. My sense of self was beginning to fade. Awareness began to shine through my experience like filling an empty bucket full of water. Everything started to look block like, if you taken shrooms you know what I mean by this. The nothingness really started to make itself known. I'm just sitting there in my room, and my ego is literally seeing that I am nothing... absolutely fucking nothing! It felt like the illusion of my mind was just staring back at me like who's there? No one! No one is there! Can the light of a flashlight turn back and look at itself? Can one side of a coin see the other side? What if it could? This started to become really unsettling for my ego, it just felt insanely fucking eerie. A sense of fear was starting to rise so I asked myself why be scared? You are it, are you scared of yourself? I knew that I shouldn't be scared but still, the fear continued to arise, it was out of my control. Is this thing scared of its own death? Hell yeah it is. Don't underestimate facing your own death, if you tell yourself your not scared your're most likely full of shit. It actually feels like you will die, I am not kidding. The you that you thought you were will cease to exist and you will be left with nothing. I am it, you are it, we are all it, you could say that you're just playing one big game with yourself down here, trying to distract yourself from what actually is. You come down here, to this world experience, and it's like you get lost in your own game. Its so complex, there's so much going on here, that you actually convince yourself that this is real, that all of this is actually happening. Your life already happened and didn't happen, simultaneously. There's actually no one here, other is a illusion, you are just fooling yourself. When you're having a conversation with someone it's just life talking to itself. It really is all just you, and you will underestimate this too until you actually become conscious that this is true. It's actually pretty baffling to see the extent of much you deceive yourself, but it's almost like you have to because you couldn't be here otherwise. We're all running around here trying to seek something outside of ourselves in this materialistic realm because we think it will make us happy. Don't get me wrong, that brand new car that you always wanted will make you happy. A promotion at your job that you worked hard to receive will make you happy. Buying your dream house that took you years and years to save up for will make you happy. All of this stuff is fine and all, there is nothing wrong with it, however it is all short lived. That happiness your're seeking eventually maxes out and your right back to where you started. You're happiness doesn't have to be dependent on something outside of yourself, true happiness comes from within. You could waste your whole life doing this, you'd be like a hamster running on a wheel for eternity, always ending up right where you started. Always trying to be somewhere else than where your at. Again, it's all a distraction to prevent you from seeing what is actually true, your ego does not want you to do this.The thing is you already have it all, there is no where else to go but right here right now. Anything that you'll ever truly need will arise effortlessly during the right time in perfect harmony, not by force. The ego can twist this around, like oh well it doesn't really matter then, let's just stare at a wall until I die because what's the point? No! You came here to experience life so enjoy the ride. Realize that this is all just a game and in the end none of this matters, like at all. It's all temporary and it will all pass. Just do your best, love yourself and smile. One day this will all come to an end and you will merge back with god. Now do I have what I said above embodied?, there is still much work to be done for me. Psychedelics are nice in the sense because they remind me why I'm doing all this in the first place, and gives me motivation to keep going. It's like I need constant reminders because my mind will just try to cover all this up again.
  19. @zeroISinfinity We are all eternal to god, to the one true self.
  20. I feel you on this, it'd be nice to let go of old patterns like flipping off a light switch. Development is just going to take time, we can't rewire our minds overnight. I'd just try to be more patient with yourself. Also try to mediate right after a run, take a cold shower too. This combo works really great for me.
  21. Yes, and it's like my mind wants to hold it, but it can't, like sand falling through your fingers. You think you have it only for it to fall through again. The mind can't grasp this, because you are it, are being it, and have always been it, and it contains you, the person in the experience. So simple that its actually pretty hilarious, which is why I think once one has a realization it's common just to sit there laughing your ass off.
  22. I'm interested to hear some opinions about Kratom on here. I went and picked some up at a local head shop today since it's legal where I live. I bought a strain called "Malaysian Red Vien" and started out with a 3g dose. Within 20 minutes I began to notice some mild euphoria, overall just felt more relaxed and peaceful. I had a great mediation session after taking it. This could be a good tool for consciousness work but like psychedelic's it deserves your respect. From what I've been finding out the withdrawals can be bad if abused, so you wouldn't want to be taking it everyday.
  23. I would agree with this, depending on you some people should stay clear from Kratom. The stuff is cheap, it is plant based, legal in most places, easily accessible locally or online, it can make you feel great but also easily turn into a daily habit, become a crutch. The quitkratom sub on reddit is filled with horror stories of people who clearly abuse this stuff, I'm talking 20gs and up a day for months or years, which is insane. I wouldn't want to imagine the withdrawals from that much use. From my experience, reds are more euphoric and sedating. Whites and greens give me more stimulation and energy. I've also heard that the strains are just one big myth primarily use for marketing, its basically all the same, there is no difference. I'm not sure whether that is true or not though. Anywhere from 2-3 grams is a good moderate dose. A 5 gram dose will have me feeling really good, and even then I find it doesn't really effect my productivity at all.
  24. Haven't tried it but I am planning to at some point. For anyone else interested you can use this link to help find a practitioner in your area.
  25. If one killed their mind it could make the situation a whole lot worse, IMO. Awareness doesn't go away, there's no telling where you would end up next if you killed yourself. There is no easy way out, and I'm sure there would be consequences for killing your mind.