Pav

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  1. The right woman will not just appear in your life without working on this area, and if they did you wouldn't be capable of attracting them unless you've developed yourself as a man. @Bridge to Infinity Great idea to take some time to get this part of your life handled. The longer you put this off the more neuroses will fester inside of you. There's a lot great experiences to be had in meeting women and it really requires you to grow. There seems to be some resistance to 'pick up' by people who seem to believe meeting women is frivolous. This is far from the case; the game is ultimately there to teach you how to let go of your egoic self agenda and to embody love. When your far enough along the path you'll see that is in fact a spiritual journey. Check out RSD for some great content.
  2. Relationships are one of the major areas of your life which you need to get sorted and begin actualising on if you are to be happy and fulfilled. Drop this 'X is (insert colour)' nonsense. You are closing yourself off from potential growth. Social relationships are a whole area of mastery, just like life purpose or spirituality. There are skills to be developed and lessons to be learnt. Once your further down the path you will be in an infinitely better position to use these skills to share your gifts. What resource have you found that goes in to more depth and breadth in to social relationships and is as high consciousness than RSD? I recommend taking full advantage of the information being offered to you. Now. The longer you put off getting this area of life in order, the greater your suffering will get.
  3. Sounds like an emotional train wreck, to put it bluntly. Sorry but nothing about what you said sounds like a healthy relationship. Very needy and codependent. You deserve better than this, but you have a lot of work to do to develop yourself as a man. A poly relationship can work if both partners mutually agree and are both at the very least capable of sleeping with other people. Continue to dig up and release your trauma energy. This is very important. In addition, learn how to meet and attract women so that you can interact and come together with women in a positive way. At the moment you are not capable spreading real love in your intimate relationships, your neediness and insecurities cut you off from that potential and you aren't well developed in your masculine essence so you don't have anything to offer women sexually or romantically. You cannot love from a place of scarcity, you must cultivate an abundance in order to enable you to share your gifts. The good news is that this is all very much fixable, we've all had low points of our lives, but you have to be willing to heed the call and put in the necessary work. Most people choose to regress in to comfort and turn their backs on growth, I can guarantee you this is a mistake.
  4. Begin learning and experiencing this part of life now. There's no need to put it off until you reach some future milestone in business, this is likely a rationalisation stemming from fear. Wherever there is fear, that's your call to action. The fact that you made this post suggests that some part of you is dissatisfied with your current trajectory. Relationships are a major part of life, along with career and spirituality. Failure to align yourself with your highest conceivable good and actualise in any of these areas results in neurosis. Having success in one of these areas will certainly flow over to the others, but you'll without a doubt have to dedicate the time and energy to each individually if you want to engage with life fully. Your exact balance is something you'll have to figure out through experience and contemplation, and will change throughout the course of your life.
  5. Not interested, move on. Learn how to meet and attract women and develop yourself in this area so you can cultivate an abundance. Here's some starting references for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OZebLs6v7o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESX0A1eNQV0
  6. It is near impossible to let go through thought alone. The emotion is capable of generating an infinite amount of varying thoughts, you can't keep up. Take your conscious attention away from your thoughts and instead place it on to the emotion itself. Emotions want to run their course and leave, by engaging in thoughts you are keeping the negative emotion there. Don't try to change the emotion or do anything to it. Simply place your awareness on the emotion and experience it fully. Do not resist the emotion, and allow it to leave whenever it wants to. Surrender any attachment for it to be anything other than how it is. The emotion may momentarily get stronger at first when you try this but eventually it will run its course. Consciousness is key here. Increasing your level of awareness through meditation will certainly help you with this process. Give this a sincere go and see what happens. --------------- Another angle to your problem is that you engage in such pettiness because you have not aligned yourself with you higher purpose in this area of your life. I have found for myself that my overarching purpose for social relationships is to spread love, joy, and peace. You'll have to do all the work necessary to find out what it is for you. When you know how it is that you truly want to engage with life reactions such as holding grudges or seeking revenge will seem petty and simple not worth engaging in. There are much more preferable ways of being. Good luck.
  7. @Leo Gura It's interesting that you've chosen to dismiss the discussion at this point. Is there something you're not willing to face? Perhaps a good opportunity for some inner work. I'm well aware of your position on JP, the points in my previous post still stand. In this thread so far you've called JP a devil and likened his followers to Nazis, can you see how this degradation of other human beings is problematic? @Yog I agree that green certainly does have a dark side. And that shadow can get quite ugly too. Ken Wilber, a proponent of spiral dynamics, is willing to recognise this shadow, so it's rather interesting that people on this forum are unwilling to acknowledge it and instead use the spiral dynamic model to dismiss other perspectives (and even people) as 'blue' or 'orange'. It seems that they are using this model to defend and propagate their own positionalities and avoid entertaining ideas which may pose a threat to their ideological attachments. As egos tend to do. It goes to show you that being highly developed in one area of life does not mean you will be advance in all others. You need to dedicate the time and work to actualise in all aspects of your personal growth.
  8. There is a positive and negative side to both masculinity and femininity. Your goal in this work is to cultivate the positive and then integrate these two poles within yourself so that they compliment each other (to transcend the dichotomy). David Deida has some good work on the masculine/feminine polarity. Keep in mind that David Deida uses stereotypical/exaggerated examples for teaching purposes, the reality for you will likely be something more balanced, say 60%M 40%F, you'll have to discover exactly what your balance is for yourself. "Toxic masculinity" is certainly being used by certain individuals to push an ideological agenda. So don't let those ideas impact your growth. Positionalities such as modern day feminism and MGTOW/red pill are very toxic for your personal growth and for your relationships with others since they are very divisive and seek to pit men and women against one another. Hence they do not cultivate a positive relationship between the feminine and the masculine. Men and women need to learn to come together in a positive way. The play between the masculine and feminine between two people can make for quite a special relationship. This means that you'll need to learn how interact with and attract women; integrate your own masculine and feminine (you cannot healthily disown either); learn to release your underlying neuroses (relationships are a vital point to do so since they tend to bring up your deep seated neuroses - read Letting Go by David Hawkins to learn how to surrender your negative energy); and cultivate love/joy within yourself so that you can spread this to others in your interactions. RSD have started to make some really great, high consciousness videos about how to interact positively with women in recent years. They also definitely know how to attract women, so I recommend checking them out. Ultimately, social relationships, particularly intimate relationships, are about the spread of love, joy and peace. Seek to align yourself with this overarching goal. It won't be easy, you'll have to let go of many of your egoic attachments, but it'll be worth it in the end.
  9. @Leo Gura It's interesting to see how closed minded and demonising you become when it comes to politics (perhaps I'm misinterpreting you, but there appears to be some ugliness in your posts here). Have you sincerely dedicated time to listen to his teachings yourself or are you just going off of second hand reports? I ask become what you've described of JP doesn't match my own experience of him. He seems to have some pretty good ideas which a lot of people find helpful and he can be quite insightful at times, his biblical series and recounts of his clinical experiences i find interesting. Of course there are many areas where his ideas are questionable, although it would be an unreasonable standard to expect any individual to be correct about every belief they hold (or even a majority). I'm quite wary of demonisation of certain groups and cutting myself off from differing view points. I've come to realise that no perspective is 100% false, there are varying degrees of truth to all perspectives and if we want to implement policies which leave the world better off (or at least just not cause harm) then a very well thought out and nuanced consideration of the truth behind many different perspectives (as well as their limitations) is required. This requires the setting aside of prejudice/dogma in order to place yourself in the shoes of people with different circumstances and worldviews from your own. To honestly empathise with an open mind and without ulterior agenda. Blind ideological commitment (on any side) can be rather dangerous. It is so important that we become aware of and acknowledge our own biases and projections. The ego can be very tricky. Consciousness and surrender are key in this sort of work. Also, you seem to place a great deal of faith in the spiral dynamic model. Its a pretty decent framework from what I can tell, but like all models it has its limitations and many aspects in which it does not capture the whole truth. Thus it is important to remain open to consider where other models/perspectives may fit reality more accurately and to be mindful not to become ideological strung up on any one set of beliefs. Perhaps you might like to consider what payoffs you receive for your commitment to spiral dynamics?
  10. @flowboy Your current state is not authentic. Infatuation is a projection on to another person and a way to avoid facing your own problem(s) which you have repressed. There is a deeper issue at play here which you must become conscious of and resolve in order to get closer to your authentic core.
  11. Spend time away from her without any contact for 6 months or so, until your infatuation is gone. It's not authentic to be needy or to treat people as something to be possessed. You have already lost status in her eyes and so she has lost attraction to you. Re-ground yourself in your purpose, only from there can you truly love (as someone with a masculine essence your mission comes first, from this place energy can overflow in to your relationships). If you have not found your life purpose yet, resume the search.
  12. Definitely check out Finding God Through Sex by David Deida.
  13. I had an insight into this earlier today. Relationships are about the surrender to and flow of divine Love. The problem is that people get caught up into the false belief that love is given to them from someone else, and so they believe they need the other person when in fact the love was originating from within themselves. The infinite love of God is freely given to anyone who is opens themselves to it.
  14. Thanks @ajasatya & @Devi Shanti . I've only just started to explore this area and I find it difficult to come across high quality information on this topic, everyone's beliefs around relationships seem to be tainted by neuroses of various sorts. Do you have any advice on how to find the right partner? For instance; how can you know if someone is right for you? What is it that attracts people and which of these factors are more/less authentic/pure? To what degree is romantic love authentic or a distortion of reality? How active should one be in their search? Do you have any insight on how to go deeper in to love without possessiveness/neediness? What are your thoughts on masculine & feminine energy?
  15. Be honest and open about it. Inauthenticity leads to neurosis, if you are rejected it'll be a lot less of a burden on you than maintaining a falsehood.