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Everything posted by Pav

  1. The guy's got 10 years worth of savings, he's doing a whole lot better than most workers. What is the meaning of hard work? Genuinely curious what your views are. How have you worked hard throughout your life? How old are you? That works for some jobs, but many professional jobs require thorough learning of the topic. University learning is not a new phenomenon, people have been studies at universities for thousands of years. You're evidently trying hard to give off this persona of being the tough, older, more manly guy, but it's quite evident that you lack wisdom about life. Why do you idealise torturing and sacrificing yourself to work?
  2. Nope. Forming a relationship with the right girl is among some of the most worthwhile things you could do in life. Not true, you've evidently been wallowing in too much toxic online content. There's good women out there and there's also shit women too. You want to cultivate relationships with the good people. This is terrible advice. It seems that you are trying to sabotage others. Yeah, pua advice on the internet it mostly trash. The easiest way to get laid a lot is to be good looking, which mostly comes down to genetics. There is nothing impressive about this that makes you a "real" man, it's mere luck.
  3. Nice, congrats
  4. Most cultures outside the Muslim world too. How common are large scale societies which practice non-monogamy? Christianity has played a substantial role in up holding these ideals, but the question is why were these values adopted by Christianity? When the men at the top of the hierarchy horde the majority of the women this leads to those at the bottom becoming disgruntled and disillusioned with society and often turning to violent revolts. It is also less fulfilling for the women too since most desire monogamous committed relationships rather than being part of a harem. Non-monogamous systems can be found in tribes of a few hundred people, however I was talking about role monogamy plays in larger, post-agricultural societies. What works in small tribes will often not scale well on to larger states of 100s of thousands of people or more. Having said that, monogamy is also quite common place among tribes too. It is better for extended family get involved in child rearing too. How does that mean the stability of the child's parent's relationship is not of vital importance? They are still the most influential factor in the child's development. Large-scale societies function very differently to close-knit tribal societies, how would this system of getting the whole tribe involved in the raising of a child work in a city state of ten thousand people, most of whom are unrelated? There's issues with culturally monogamous systems, I don't think anyone would argue that there isn't. But it is one of the few systems which has worked in preventing societal instability. When a system is seen quite universally across cultures and has been implemented for hundreds or thousands of years, there's certainly a very good reason for it. It is easy to overlook the benefits which we receive from stage blue structures since we have never had to suffer from the consequences which it prevents.
  5. It doesn't just come from Christian ideas, there's an abundance of non-christian cultures which shun promiscuity and value purity significantly more than the West. Monogamy is important for societal stability and is more optimal for the raising of children. The vast majority of people naturally desire monogamous relationships and most people would be happiest in one compared to the alternatives. Thus, it's easy to see why the majority of post-agricultural societies have upheld these values. That's a legitimate concern. One of the most reliable predictors of an individual's future behaviour is their past behaviours.
  6. I've found it to be important to spend your 20s focusing on building all of the important areas of life. You are able to work on more than one thing. So far in the decade since I've left high school I've managed to get my career on track, get my dating life sorted, cultivate fulfilling friendships, pursued spirituality, and had many unique life experiences. It requires you to get clear about what you really want out of life and then place you time/energy/focus on building that vision (and not wasting much time on the things which don't matter, like TV or doomscrolling). Dating really ought to be one of their top priorities, as relationships are one of the most important aspects of life.
  7. Leo, are you in a long term monogonous relationship?
  8. Settle? You are not as attractive as a highly attractive girl. It's not settling to date someone who is at your own level of attractiveness. You are shooting yourself in the foot by holding on to this fantasy of wanting a highly attractive women to date you, you very well could have a very fulfilling relationship with an average looking girl and it would make you a lot happier in life. You seem to be quite adverse to average girls as if you view them as being below you, but the truth is they're not. And you'll probably have to work on yourself and unwire a lot of your brainwashing and toxic ideas to even get a relationship with a nice, average looking girl.
  9. You've been brainwashed by Youtube pick up artist theory lol (they are mostly con artists). Why would a top 1-3% girl choose you just because you pretend to be an "alpha male"? The majority of the stuff taught by these pick up coaches is just cringe and will harm your results in dating. The most attractive girls have immense options, they are going to go for the guys who are genuinely in the top 1-3%.
  10. @something_else Most likely you simply aren't physically attractive enough for these girls that you're going after. I recommend focusing on women who are around your own level of attractiveness. Or you can be just as attractive as them. Money cannot buy genuine attraction. I don't think it would be a fulfilling situation for any guy to be used for their money. I suspect there may be geographic/cultural difference here. Perhaps most girls in LA or Vegas are going after status and money but I can't say I've seen this dynamic very often at all. The majority of attractive girls seem to desire a genuine relationship with a man who's attractive and that they have chemistry and a connection with, while a small percentage are more promiscuous (roughly 10%). I wouldn't try to use money in order to get a hot girl, it probably won't work and even if you get one to have sex with you it wouldn't be very fulfilling knowing that they just want your money and lifestyle. I genuinely mean no disrespect, but if that's you in your picture you seem to be around average in terms of looks. My advice would be to forget about trying to get a really hot girlfriend and instead try to find an average looking girl who you really like as a person and enjoy spending time with. Most guys will not get an 8-10/10 looking girl and that's okay. You can have a very fulfilling relationship with a girl even when they are not a model (as long as you are still sexually attracted to them). Personality compatibility is incredibly important for a relationship.
  11. Do you think it's realistic for him to be able to find a mentor in the 3 weeks that he needs to be studying? If he was able to find a mentor tomorrow how would that be helpful for his situation?
  12. You just need to sit down at a desk and do it, there's no special trick to it. Find a quiet space where you can study away from your PC or phone so that you can study free from any distraction. A local library or the library at your school would work. Dedicate a few hours each day as time where you are going to sit in that space with only your books/laptop and study, no Youtube or mindless scrolling allowed. Make sure you show up consistently everyday. After you've done studying enjoy the rest of the day however you like.
  13. It's not the case that looks are the only thing that matters, life is rarely that simple. Personally and charisma are significant factors in attracting women. However, looks are the biggest factor determining your attractiveness to women. If a girl doesn't find you physically attractive you most likely won't even be considered as a potential sexual or romantic partner in the first place (unless they are similarly unattractive). There's a threshold of physical attractiveness with most often must be reached. It's rarely the case that someone who a girl finds physically unattractive can make that girl attracted to them through personality or charisma. However, the opposite can indeed be true; a girl can lose interest in someone physically attractive through lack of social skills, negative emotional state, or undesirable personality characteristics. Another important factor for attractiveness which people never seem to talk about is your emotional state or level of engery. As for the video, getting a girls number means nothing. It's very easy to get a girls number (which is why all these pick up videos like to show that off) but that doesn't mean it's going to lead anywhere. The majority of those girls will flake or just gave the wrong number. The real metric is did he actually go out with that girl? Did he have sex with them? Did he start a meaningful relationship?
  14. @bebotalk I certainly don't advise it. It will have a negative impact on the results you get in your social life, not to mention it's just a shit way to treat people and acting immorally will negatively affect your self esteem and emotional well-being. Also your initial impression of someone will often be wrong especially if it's based on something superficial like someone's gender or how they look, you could be prematurely rejecting people who you could have potential to create a meaning relationship with, do this enough times over the course of your life and you may end up isolated with no meaningful relationships in your life.
  15. It sounds like the narrative in his head based off of the experiences he has had with cold approach. Your beliefs are based off of experiential evidence. You cannot simply force yourself to change your beliefs by repeating an affirmation in your head, your subconscious mind is intelligent, more intelligent than your conscious mind and will not be fool by simple repetition, it relies on evidence and reason to form it's beliefs. Having girls ignore you and run away from you is going to have a negative impact on your self esteem and beliefs about the world and women no matter how much you gaslight yourself. Do you feel like a stronger man?
  16. @meta_male If you decide to proceed with the date try your best to get yourself in a more social and positively energetic state, even if you can only maintain it temporarily for the date. It's possible that going on the date will trigger a more positive state in you, though it may also not. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that being in a depressive state is one of the most sure-fire ways to kill your date and any possibility of going any further with this girl. It's really not a pleasant experience to be on a date with someone who is lacking in enthusiasm and sucks the energy out of the room. And generally women won't give you another chance if your first date went that way. If you're unable to elevate your state it may be worth rescheduling your date. Although this risks her flaking on you next time. So there's a risk there. It's a tough situation you're in. Sure it may take some of the pressure off, but being authentically depressive will still be very uncomfortable for the others around and will ruin any chances of them going on a second date.
  17. You could get a job and work to pay for your travels, or you could start a career that involves a lot of traveling, for instance become a pilot or a doctor who works in remote locations. Traveling itself is not a life purpose. It may be something you really enjoy but what value does that bring to others?
  18. What about unexpected negative outcomes, could this lead to reinforce you in a negative direction? ie. make you more aversive of that experience? It's much more likely for a cold approach to go poorly than to go well.
  19. i sure as hell wouldn't start taking an anti-psychotic for lack of motivation, that's rather absurd for your psychiatrist to suggest that. The side effects of such things are not to be taken lightly.
  20. You don't want to wait multiple days before texting a girl, in day game you'd want to text them later that evening or the at most the next day. In night game you really want to pull that night. Getting a girl's number at a club is unlikely to lead to a date, they are looking to get laid that night. Also what exactly are you texting them? Hook ups can lead to relationships. Probably a better idea to do day time interactions or social circle if this is what you're after, there's also dating apps such as Hinge.
  21. Best to stop watching it then. It makes the most sense because it has a large element of truth to it. However a lot of those black pill videos have a negative under tone to them with many people seeming to believe that their situation is hopeless, better not to get infested with their negative energy. I'd stay away from red pill and pua videos too, the majority of the advice they offer is terrible and will harm your results with women, not to mention all the manipulation and scams they perpetuate. Honestly it's extremely rare. The majority of couples are quite matched in terms of looks. Why are you trying to insult his masculinity? If taking care of your appearance is what leads to better results with women than it's obviously a good action to take. Being physically attractive is clearly not incompatible with being a man since attractiveness is one of the main things women want in a guy. Would you rather fulfill the arbitrary gender roles of random people you've never met or take the right actions that lead to an abundance of sex and dating opportunities?
  22. @Razard86 Environment does matter substantially in affecting your growth and happiness in life. What about the child born in the third world so affected by malnutrition that his physical growth is severely stunted, is their potential the same as what it would be had they growth up in a safe household in the West with adequate nutrition? Or consider Genie, a child who from the age of 20 months was kept locked in a dark room and tied to a chair by his father, being completely unable to move, deprived of any social interaction, left malnourished, and being beaten by her father if she made any noise. This environment left her unable to learn a language or develop social skills, and she became severely mentally handicapped overall. Are we to believe that the difference in this environment in fostering growth is only subjectively different to being raised in a loving household? I saw a documentary about a poor Indian farmer who took out debt to cover a medical expense. Unable to pay it back him and his wife and young kids are forced to work under harsh and dangerous conditions in a brick factory for 14 hours a day, and will probably remain enslaved for the remainder of their lives. What is the value of their suffering? They may never have the opportunity to live out their lives with any of the opportunities for growth and actualisation that many of us in more privileged circumstances have. Does their suffering make them stronger than if they were to be free? It is possible for suffering to motivate people to growth and to seek a way to better themselves and improve their situation. However in so many instances intense suffering can cripple people severely enough that they may never recover and can lead to suicide just to escape it. Another point important to make is that suffering is not necessary for growth. Positive forms of motivation are incredibly powerful and more sustainable, for instance we may be motivated by a vision, curiosity, love, ect. Certain environments are better able to cultivate these forms of motivation than others.
  23. It's not subjective. One of those environments is more conducive to human flourishing than the other.