And yet when the novelty wears out that doesn't mean we grasp everything there is to grasp about any given subject. I'm talking about the basic stuff, whatever is being taken for granted. What does one know, really?
Here's an interesting thought: boredom might be a sign of arrogance.
Time to open up and contemplate.

There comes a time when the driving instructor must hand the wheel over to the student and a time when the student becomes the sovereign driver simply by driving alone. How else will they learn to drive the car if the instructor is always validating every manoeuvre and decision. It is the students decision to decide that they have learned and been guided as far as they can be guided. The instructor has no way of knowing if the student is ready. Only the student knows when they themselves possess the confidence in themselves to truly be the driver. There is a period of uncertainty between leaving the safety and familiarity or fallback of a person validating your every move and the point where you assume full responsibility. That chasm must be crossed alone. 
 
great is the day a therapist sees his client walk out the door after telling him he doesn’t need him anymore and he will never see his client again. He has passed on the tools for his client to now manage his own mind and discern for himself how to approach a situation. 
 

Although I messaged Leo with his name during the conversation, he just ignores me so here are my questions:
 How is Non-Duality not Awakening when you said that Awakening is realizing that you are God and there that there is no one else but you? I don't see any dualities here. Does separation occur because there is no difference between duality and non-duality since it's a duality that collapses?
What makes God Alien Intelligence if God is everywhere? Is the intelligence "Alien" because it transcends human intelligence as the godhead?
 

I don't like the idea of heaven or hell and here's why: Heaven is worshipping God forever which means that God is never satisfied with and that he wants to be worshipped even though he was just entitled to be God. Hell, on the other hand is just eternal suffering which is bad and separation from God just so happens to be that place. It would be more loving for God to create reincarnation or to have souls to cease to exist. Also, sin cannot be the cause for people to go to hell since other people became Christian and accepted Christ who were also sinners before becoming Christian and still are according to the Christian paradigm. Christians tried to help me understand this but the Holy Spirit didn't help me to do so while I was a Christian and after seeking God's wisdom. And I don't mean to speak badly of it, it's just a fact within the Christian paradigm.
I see that people keep listening to the church as if they don't already know what they believe. It's just an affirmation that the truth does not require. I know about the crucifixion of Jesus, that God is love, etc. Not only are there other religions that I know less about, but this affirmation when it comes to defending pushes me away that the Bible is even the word of God because it never tells me how I can become directly conscious of what it says. Even if God answers my prayers, I only imagine that the Christian God is doing so if I were to be a Christian. Maybe it's something else that just so happens to agree with the Bible, it's not direct experience.
The reason I post this is so that I can one day stand up for what I actually believe or don't believe in and that beliefs don't matter compared to awareness. I also want to feel listened to by someone out there.

I think it’s down to how deep you contemplate a subject without getting attached to it as some kind of rigid justification. 5MeO is such a drastically  different experience to when you sober up that the ego tends to backlash big time and Co opt the experience. I notice this happens to a lot of 5MeO users in the beginning. If you are capable of moving past it by watching how the ego behaves as you come back into the relative and evermore subduing it till it doesn’t take over when you come back, you can have a better time of integrating the experience without projecting bias onto it.  What we realise maybe found within the experience itself or the act of realisation when we are in relativity consciousness but then we go on to use it to justify all the minutiae. I had the opportunity to do 5MeO under the care of Ollie Martin of ( 5MeO movie where 3 guys from Britain/Ireland went to the Netherlands for what could best be described as soul searching in a midlife crisis). He did very well by respecting my request not to interfere in any way with my trip but he projected onto me afterwards. I found him to be very fear based, judgmental with pre conceived beliefs and stuck in conspiracies. He was also still struggling with basic familial childhood traumas that should have been addressed by now. Watching how your own mind works and continuing to observe it during day to day experiences is a vital part of integration but also practicing changing the patterns that are causing problems. That really needs to get out of the way so you can get down to the nitty gritty, philosophical, hyper logic and reason deconstruction of relativity so you can have a chance at really understanding these profound experiences. I read martins book and it waffled on for ages. While I can’t dismiss what he’s saying ( that’s his perspective and how he understands it) I can’t get over a facilitator getting so intoxicated to the point of throwing up on a client when they are meant to be sitting and being responsible for the care of the client. While I understand that the infinite doesn’t care about such things, they don’t matter at all, there is a certain amount of responsibility someone should hold up within themselves while conducting themselves as a human.

@StarStruck I take your point. I suppose I'd refine my comment and say she has a top notch intellectual understanding of how to resolve trauma. 

This is what happens when people expect idols and role models, or arbitrators of authority.
Frankly, people who experience ESP, and have since childhood, seem to have a whole separate set of problems to deal with and make sense of on their own terms. I was not that person as a child, but I have known many people who have. Their issues are not your issues, making sense of their direct experience is something that pretty much every person grapples with.

I don't know about the veracity of her specific backstory (or backstories), but yea... what is the actual issue or controversy here?
What she's saying is pretty logical. She's just saying that humans create thoughtforms, both intentionally and unintentionally, and this has an impact on the world through time, including in the present era, long after the original biological beings who created them died, and even long after a certain relationship with power is not central to society. (Let's just call it "stage red" or whatever.) I don't know about her specific backstory but...
Some people see ESP phenomenon rather directly. Some people do not. Some people autosuggest whole stories when it comes to entities and get very emotionally involved in these worlds (this is admittedly often occurring in the New Age, and this has been my observation as well). Some people do not so much. Sometimes it's a bit of both, which is why it's a not a bad strategy to not get overly emotionally involved in what you experience in this way in a personal sense.
It is hard to say which side she skews toward just based on listening to her though, but she is not wrong to say that there is a cause/ effect situation going on. The impact of these psychological/ energetic factors does not necessarily lessen just because you don't believe in it and think it is irrelevant. That's kind of the point. And anyway, she is pointing to the psychological phenomenon behind these sort of "contracts". You could literally just ignore all of the "extra" stuff, and focus on the psychological aspect of self-resolution and not making contracts with yourself/ life/ "the universe" of a certain nature ("stage red principles"), and ignore the rest for all practical purposes.
I have also seen "entities" in human spaces, and in non-human spaces,  more at some points and much less at other points. Really not a big deal? I would think people who were not atheistic, materialist, and secular would be a bit more openminded.
Being oblivious to a specific dynamic because it involves absolutely nothing of your direct experience and perception isn't really saying much about you, is it? Other than that you don't experience anything, have never experienced anything directly, and therefore you have nothing to make of it anyway.
Like what does this even mean qualitatively?
Not necessarily disagreeing, though it's not like I'm in the position to judge either exactly, lol.
Every single person who experiences the spontaneous ESP phenomenon has a bunch of screws loose by heteronormative standards.
Are you better because you smash back a bunch of psychedelics and then also experience things? (Or don't?) I don't get it.
So what are the standards for one group of people who are utterly unhinged by heteronormative standards, judging another group? It's important to be very transparent about these things.
Dude, pretty much everyone is chasing their own tail in some form or another. It's just a matter of scale, and whether it's big-picture or small-picture chasing, unless your life is very, very empty in a literal sense. 

She doesn’t understand trauma healing. If she did she would have solved her own traumas. And looking at all the weird shenanigans I don’t think she is healthy. 

maybe for you thats the point of this work. The masculine perspective to this work. You want to deconstruct all the stories and be free in nothingness. However for her it seems like she rather wants to experience all the stories and feel the love by which these stories were created. 
I think it's possible for demons to be just as "real" as Leo Gura. 
But you do create stories for murderers and all other humans though?  "your mother was this woman and your father was this man and on this date you were born" and so on.
Sure it kinda sounds like fantasy talking about demons and maybe it is just bullshit fantasy but I dont see your logic debunking her tbh.
Isn't the mind the source for everything else as well?

If you believe in a historical lineage of demons, you're certainly setting yourself up to experiencing some of them. Beliefs affect your experience of reality. Be very critical of claims that feed into beliefs that may harm you psychologically, certainly the more paranoid kind of beliefs. What is the extent of the evidence for the belief that demons are "out there" and "out to get you"? Become very clear about that.

What if Purity manifests Arrogance in Leo?
Maybe if he had more ego left he would worry "I cant behave like that, what will people on the forum think, I can't listen to my Pure Intuition"
Because I believe that is actually the case. We have hundreds of teachers teaching being nice, and warm and fluffy and meek like Ekhart Tolle.
What if God designed Leo to be precisely like that to teach us sovereignty and healthy arrogance?
What if Leo actually is pure and well intended when writing about buddhist rats?
Who knows.
 

1) There is a lot of value in those books just in so far as building up a good life goes. It's a good foundation. You don't wanna be spiritually illiterate.
2) The tantra book is quite technical. Unless you are gonna make tantra your path you don't need to read the whole thing. Skim it for the general nuggets of wisdom.
3) A lot of those books just contain solid wisdom that will be good for you to have.
4) When I am harsh on spirituality is it within the very narrow context of trying to help adavnced people reach the crazy peak stages. So don't get down and don't take me too seriously unless you are really aimimg for those peaks.

It's both. It's such a high degree that it opens up an entirely new domain of mind. It truly feels like you have been a caterpillar your whole life and then suddenly you evolved into a butterfly. And by caterpillar I mean all your prior human awakenings, enlightenments, trips, etc. It's in another league beyond those.
It's truly fucking shocking. As shocking as Awakenings are, Alien Awakening is 10x more shocking than that. At this level you are in a domain that has never been written about or talked about by an spiritual teacher who I have ever read or seen. This possibility does not even exist for nondual teachers. It's something they've never even thought about once. And this will be completely obvious to you because anyone who experiences it would not be interested in teaching anything else. Nonduality becomes completely uninteresting once you discover alien consciousness. Because it's just 10x-100x more conscious.

That's a pretty subjective distinction because you could draw the line in various places. There are many different kinds of Awakened states so I must use that word somewhat loosely. I am not refering to one specific state but a whole category of states.
My gold standard is that if we're talkin serious consciousness, you must transcend from human into alien consciousness. There's more beyond that, but if you haven't reached that level then you're still operating at relatively low human levels. And if you reached that level of consciousness you would be talking about it and teaching it. Yet I see none of these people talking about it or guiding people to it.
Rupert Spira teaches people "awakening is completely ordinary". I'm sorry but there is no way my Awakenings have been ordinary. I do not have words to express how anything but ordinary my Awakenings have been. So what is he teaching you? What is this ordinary awakening? How conscious can it be? If you just smoke some salvia there will be nothing ordinary about it. You will piss yourself in terror. Well, what is it that's so terifying? If your consciousness is maxed out then why is salvia terifying the shit out of you?

Disclaimer: I am NOT trying to put Leo's teachings in a bad light or anything.. this is simply words of caution for those who are prone to depression and also pathologically and seek truth in all aspects of existence.
I used to be a "light Hindu" as a child .. I was brought up with the notion that there is some sort of God and afterlife.. but I never cared anything about it and didn't really pay the God question any time.
In my teens I started getting existential.. unlike most teenagers..but also  unlike most teenagers I got almost obsessive.
Leo's videos helped me to move from stage blue to stage orange (before even hearing of spiral dynamics yet ). The separate God/after life perished from the realm of "possible" quite soon because his videos In 2016. Objective morality followed shortly after that . Free will evaporated as well easily once my intellect had taken full control of my mind.
The last "battle" for my sanity was the ultimate "Is there ANY sort of meaning to life" question. And fair to say: sanity lost to reason once more.
A few months post these radical realizations ..a realization added ontop of years of those other realizations I found myself isolated..without any ability to think forward in time. I was stuck in a frozen brick of existence. I tried to desperately fool myself back into the "safe" blissful ignorance. I tried to convince myself that I could live normally again without those comforting beliefs that leo have shattered for me ... But I realized it was just a futile reflex trying to perserve my being.
Then I decided to join the forum .I joined two years ago ..and started asking questions nonstop to the point Leo has threatened me to "do the work " and stop "mentally masturbating" my way to awakening.  But what he meant is I should basically start doing psychedelics  .I couldn't get my hands on any because of their illegality in India. I went to Thailand to hunt some hookers few months ago but also I found that all psychedelics are banned there .
So I continued posting here my contemplations and my mental masturbations .
And to be honest ..I had glimpses of the "Ox " here and there just listening to Leo's videos . Until I stumbled upon his solipsism video .and that was the final nail in my coffin. Ever since I listened to that video I can't get out of my mind the idea that I'm all alone (the only conscious "thing " in existence ,as Leo tells the viewer in that video).
I went mad for a while  .my ego was out of control.
It took almost  a year to get past it. It took more than a few sexual experiences ..learning some skills or making some money .i told myself One day you'll realise how stupid you were for thinking any of that would help.
I overcame it through understanding that not only did I not have all the answers..but that the answers I had were not the whole story. There's far more grey than there is black or white.
I told myself: "Why are you so concerned with things you can't do a thing to change? What difference will knowing "the truth" actually make in your life? If you focus your mind on things you can't influence.. you will naturally become detached and depressed".
I suffered.. and still suffer.. from clinical anxiety disorder. I formed a nihilistic view on life before I'd ever even heard of the word..or the works of philosophers like Nietzsche. Yet.. I've found..existentialism and nihilism to be of benefit to my mental welbeing.  Although.. I can understand how the idea that life is inherently futile could be construed as depressing.
But now ..I consider myself "enlightened ".
NOW what do I mean by that ?
I mean the following:
I no longer believe in any thing .no belief systems whatsoever. Not even direct experience. Nothing at all. Total and complete not knowing and childlike wonder  . I see all worldviews including nonduality and solipsism as just mental noise . I'm completely free from the shackles of the conceptual mind .I see that nothing I think or deduce has nothing to do with TRUTH. 
TRUTH is more serious than finding it on a forum or listening to a guy talking on YouTube. You must commit your whole life to it .and that's what Leo is doing .and I'm not.

Hello Actualized community, 
Some of you might remember me from a long time ago when I was just beginning to awaken, and I contributed some of my knowledge and tried my best to help the community with these subjects. I purposely stayed away from this forum and Leo's videos to dig deeper into awakening, god, reality, whatever you want to call it. 
I'll be speaking with a relative "I" — before anyone frets. 
I've had 80+ awakenings in the span of a year. I have been spiritually gifted since I was a kid, without even knowing it, but I seem to have a pretty easy time creating the experiences that lead to awakenings. There were periods where I had multiple awakenings in a single week, and the majority were NOT drug induced. I made sure to always write down the revelations that I learned and I am ready to share them with you all.
I had experiences where I was literally sucked out of the scene I was in and thrown into an empty void of pure light, love light. 
I am going to make this short and sweet. This is meant to help you awaken quickly. 
Before I start though, you're going to have to accept some shocking truths, so before you read this, please open your mind. Trust in what I am telling you here. I have personally verified every single thing I am about to share.
I will refer to God as "That which cannot be spoken" — as the word God is a bit silly.
1. You don't have a face. Notice for yourself, that you feel like you are located above your neck, but notice that instead of your face, you have a huge open window. This open window is your view of the world. Instead of your head, you have the world. The world is your mind. But it's not your physical mind, somehow inside a brain. No, no, no..... your mind is absolute and is shared with everything else.
Prove it to yourself. Try to locate your head, and point to your face. At no point does it reach you. There's nothing there. Instead, you have colors, sounds, thoughts, feelings, touch, etc. The entire room in which you are right now is a "part" of your head. 
Your head is the godhead. It is completely empty, is nothingness, yet it exists. 
2. Reality is a moving painting. The colors, sounds, smells you are experiencing are NOT the byproduct of your brain. I repeat. They are NOT a product of your brain. There is no light going into your "eyes" (you have no eyes, or face) — there is no brain to turn audiowaves into music. 
When you hold an apple, you think that you are seeing the redness of the apple in your brain, but notice that you aren't looking at anything.
The apple is existing, IN your consciousness. It is BEING inside of your head. You are not seeing it through no mechanism. Reality is RAW and you are compressed into it and through it.
When you see the red of the apple (unlike science which says that colors only exist in brains) what you are experiencing is what Gnostics call The Truth.
Sounds, colors, smells, feelings, thoughts. – THAT IS OBJECTIVE REALITY.
You get it? You aren't hearing or seeing at all, because reality appears 1:1 instantly in the screen of your consciousness, which is that void that we talked about.
3. Close your eyes. Realize that when you close your eyes, that dark field is really you. You are the entire dark field in which reality appears. When you close your eyes you cannot locate yourself. You just see an endless void of darkness with no edges or divisions. This is what you would call your soul.
Your head is a projector.
The colors you see are not happening in a brain, because the brain would need to have a physical screen upon which the colors are looked at. They have to exist in some way for your visual field to appear. Therefore this is false. No brain.
4. Is Solipsism true? No. Other people ARE in fact conscious as they are other *instances* of yourself in a parallel timeline being imagined by consciousness simultaneously. 
REMOVE the idea that only your individual ego is having a conscious experience. Drop it. IT'S NOT TRUE. Other people are as conscious as you, but because THEY ARE YOU.
Other people are other POVs that "That which cannot be spoken of" is creating and animating through its presence.
The entire universe is like a program running in the mind of this unknowable conscious being. Your life is a program, my life is a program.
We are divine expressions of that being who is on an eternal quest to understand what it is, and it cannot do it without your point of view, because reality would be finite without your existence.
4. Is this being knowable? No. And please don't refute this with "But awakenings!" — "That which cannot be spoken of" is completely out of reach and is the literal bedrock of existence. It does not have a subjective experience like you and I do. It's asleep forever. 
Any awakenings you may have, are a connection to its SPIRIT, not its mind, as its mind is busy imagining everything.
5. Is there an objective reality? Yes. Even thought the entire universe is the dream of this being that is asleep, it exists, but not physically. The universe is all mind. But yes, there ARE people doing other things outside of your POV. It is all happening simultaneously, and through relativity.
But those people ARE you. Just in other avatars for that lifetime. Other people exist, and your ego is not alone in the universe.
You are at all times surrounded by infinite copies of yourself.
6.  Ghosts, demons, gnomes, fairies, and all other mythical creatures are real. I have verified this myself through multiple instances where I communicated with extra-real entities.
7. Magic is real. That's right. Magic IS MIND. Magic is reality. Magic is the power that was required to bring this dream into being.
———————
Reality is NOT a simulation, NOT solipsism, NOT eternal suffering, NOT physical, NOT awful, NOT evil.
Reality IS a gift, IS a moving painting of pure light, IS magic, IS mystical in origin, and IS eternal.
———————
I cannot express to you the absolute truth because I cannot communicate the experiences I've had, as they are ineffable. But trust me on the following:
Solipsism is false There is no infinity of Gods, this is another trap. There is only ONE being who makes infinite copies of itself to embody avatars in its dream. They aren't separate gods.  Reality is, again, a moving painting, and the painter is a being that is "asleep" and dreaming the entire universe up. Reality was NOT created. It ALWAYS was. Colors, sounds, feelings, thoughts are objective reality. The apple is really red. Water is really wet. You aren't seeing anything. Objects are existing in you. Your visual field is a window or a negative sculpture. There is no actual "you" anywhere specifically. Rather, you are the entire visual field, and all the content inside of it.  Hope that helps.
 
 
 

Wow, wow, wow, I can’t believe the progress I have made within these two months. After @BipolarGrowth and I explored our various interests, desires, shared new experiences, it was time to decompress and integrate everything learned. The failures and positives from our experience, as well the entire bipolar year of my life/chronic health issues. 
 
So, today, I realized a Meta amount of Meta-Lessons within a 3 hour isolation nature adventure. 
These lessons are a reflection and a closing of my previous 5 Years of Extreme Spiritual Seeking 2000-4000 hours, relationship/women 700+ approaches, raw/cooked vegan 2 years, NoFap two years, bodybuilding to peak fitness/six pack, music endeavors, platonic friendships, etc. The insights from all of that are distilled here, but not directly talked about. 
 
This Halloween is the 5 year anniversary of pursing enlightenment and reading The Book of Not Knowing as first Non-Dual book. 
Distinguish the Absolute Insights with relative insights for my life only. My personal insights may apply to some of you, but I’m not speaking dogmatically with relative shit. I’m writing this to myself, basically. 
 
—
•The purpose of life = to LOVE. Love is Truth. Love is fundamental. Love is prior to anything. Love is It! It transcends any stage or state of consciousness that you can imagine. Even alternate realities of you being tortured are Love, for an amazing and beautiful way. Cause, why would existence want to limit itself if it could create everything imaginable? If you loved yourself so much and others, you would want to create infinite freedom of possibilities. And, this comes with costs obviously, but honestly, the suffering attached to existence is SUCH a small price for the payout and infinite love/beauty of Truth. Second purpose, comes Compassion for all beings, circumstances, but even this is extremely limited and not fundamental, because a part of you feels sorry and rejecting of how hard reality is. Therefore, this limits your love to being slightly conditional, with the assumption: “suffering should be reduced, shouldn’t exist, some people shouldn’t suffer so much”. Listen, I agree, but it is NOT the #1 fundamental truth of reality, compassion is more like a thought/feeling, etc., rather than a transcendent substance of reality, IMO. 
 
•Loving your physical body with proper detox protocols, balanced eating of animal products to ground you vs living food with extraordinary energy is #1 fundamental to all self-actualization work, before psychedelics and enlightenment. The latter will not be successful without fully detoxing your body top to bottom at least once in your life for a good 2-3 months. This has never been done by me, and my baseline consciousness/spirituality has increased literally 30X-infinite fold. Everyday I grow, quadruple from the last, in multidimensional, unexplainable, mysterious, and mystical ways. The shedding of the ego is INCREDIBLY easy and natural when you get the ego on board with a detoxifying lifestyle, so then you welcome and love the letting go of old non-serving egoic beliefs/habits. If you can’t reach pseudo-enlightenment states sober after 5+ years of self actualization/serious enlightenment efforts, detox for a way that works for you is top priority. Newbies must listen to this advice or will fall behind 99% of their potential in life, straight up. 
 
•Rebounding/mini trampoline jumping, moving your lymphatic system/physical body DAILY, is the real only solution to have a boundless energy, self-expressive life. Otherwise, if you’re not moving your body or getting everything flowing, you will begin to accumulate blockages: spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Do not undermine how important a $40 trampoline from your local Walmart could be for your health and spirituality. It increases lymph flow by 15X, apparently. 
 
•Rebounding is the FASTEST way to facilitate spiritual purging, releases, purification of any kind. This makes awakening effortless, to be honest. I’m not worried about meditating anymore, because I can just do this, and get breakthrough awakenings literally just from fucking bouncing for 20 minutes. LOL! 
 
•friends are not as important or life-long as I assumed. “Best-friends” is an illusion. Out growing people, or being too underdeveloped for a friend, etc is all a part of life and this path. You will outgrow many of your old friends who choose to live an unconscious toxic life full of ideology. You will no longer resonate, but this opens you up to have a greater loving relationship with relationships, so you attract the highest vibrational people on the planet for your liking. Excellence and excellence thrives and attracts. Do not underestimate how valuable a social circle and relationships can be for awakening/life purpose. Also, it’s okay to ghost people when you’re not doing well, a true friend will be there when you’re thriving again. 
 
•Psychedelics are the GOAT to cure mental illness. I don’t have much more to say about this, because just find out for yourself how this transforms your entire mental health in a matter of 2 years. Not even possible to grow this fast in 2 years. I went from being an immature psychotic suicidal fool, to Self-Actualized (actualizing my own personal desires and values)  at 23, after getting my physical detox and diet at 110%. 
 
•Sexuality can NOT be avoided, or suppressed. Transcending sexuality is NOT the same thing as avoiding sex. There is great nuance and intelligence in being able to be non-attached to the pleasure of sex and to all of existence, but enjoy sex as a part of the divine. THAT is where it’s at and when your sexual value skyrockets from anything your local fuckboy is capable of giving a women, they will beg for this type of masculinity. 
 
•Parents/family is not as virtuous as people make it seem. With the veneer of “love” just like a cult. It’s fucking survival at the end of the day. You grow to love them. It’s really not as deep as people make it. There is so much conditional love and hate in families all around the world, because families are about SURVIVAL, not Absolute Truth and Undying Love, lol. That’s a call you must answer to on yourself, because it’s a solo journey by definition. There is only YOU. God. 
 
•I Am God awakenings must be disclosed to Actualized/Experienced Psychonauts only! I have gotten myself into so much social trouble, mental ward visits, and family trauma from simply stating I’m God. It’s fucking ridiculous how close-minded and ignorant people can occasionally be, but I don’t blame them, because this path is super dangerous to anybody’s survival. I’m lucky I made it out alive and not in a psych ward or jail, permanently. Lol. 
 
•Life experience, feminine ways of enjoying yourself with friends, family, girls, parties, concerts, occasional recreational drug usage, retreats, adventures, driving around with no destination, etc. are all BEYOND valuable while doing this extremely strenuous self-actualization work. I got extremlyyyyyy bitter and hateful of the world, full of dis-ease, while neglecting this fundamental purpose of life: Enjoy the love, finite rare experience as a human, share the love with other beings, create memories. I mean this is REALLY the whole reason anyone does this work, is to ENJOY life!!! If you’re doing self help to just hide away in a cave, that’s a sad ass reality. The love is exponentially enjoyable when it is shared and given to humanity!!! 
 
•Self love and basic hygiene, alone time, diet, strong ass boundaries with toxic energy drainers, are so key here. 
 
•Girls are most attracted to me when I am detoxed as fuck with infinite levels of love, happiness, radiant glowing skin and joy, compassionate, assertive and knowing what I desire of my God Self authentically without apology, being humorous, playful, flexible, yet at the same time, very clear about my intentions and boundaries. 
 
•I feel like a god damn child again, WTF! So glad to be back home. I ventured off into “sin” and death, way too irresponsibly. I abused drugs, my body, and neglected myself for too long. I did NOT have to go to these extremes to learn lessons. I traumatized myself and everybody that knew the pure/happy me for 8 years straight. Hell is a state of consciousness, and the suffering can’t even compare to being just burned in a place down below, lmao. 
 
•People have gaslighted me way too much on this journey. Be more avoidant, unavailable, skeptical, and screen people way more intensely before letting them join my self-actualization journey. Because, anyone of my friends that I have let into my life on this journey, have left because I outgrew them or they couldn’t handle the rawness and radical Truth of this journey. Do NOT expect nearly any of your mainstream friends to ever go along with you to the peak of the hero’s journey. Most people have little ambition or desire to want this lifestyle. It take a combination of lucky circumstances, drive, resources, lack of traumatic experiences, balance, etc. it takes a 10000% commitment to make it though to the end of this journey, even if it fucking kills you! At least you died trying! Obviously, be responsible, safe, and cautious, but there is great risk in this work. Anything could happen! Someone could shoot you for simply talking about the facets of awakening or God to the wrong ideological/hateful/inverted being. 
 
•Live this life like it’s your last. Everything is impermanent, so that means that you’ll never, ever, ever, ever, have any of the experiences you have had again. Every moment is unique, in every way possible. Reality is always evolving to infinite levels of uniqueness from our human view. It’s always been infinitely unique from the beginning, truthfully. 
 
•Improving your consciousness radically rubs off on everyone you know or associate with in your life via quantum mechanics. 
 
•Drug abuse is the most limited, contracted, miserable way of living, IMO. Unimaginable levels of suffering with addiction to hard substances. 
 
•Sobriety doesn’t mean sober 100%. It’s a lifestyle of clean conscious living. Being present and intuitive. It’s a deep topic. 
 
•Mastery in anything requires at least 10 years of consistent, loving, slow paced effort/theory, and experimentation. 
 
•Life purpose and dating can not be ignored, despite illusions of enlightenment spiritual bypassing. Life is not enjoyable just being enlightened. Share the fucking love, god dammit! 
 
•Quitting my successful band and University was the best choice I ever made, now that I’ve made it through the hell of this chapter. Looking back, I’m way better off than old self, and almost everyone I know from high school/college long-term. I’m on a clear and conscious trajectory. Most people are just accepting fate/success like a leaf blowing in the wind by fluke chance. They don’t understand the deep mechanics and truth of almost anything, it’s all surface level living. No fucking thanks! Haha. Their life’s are revolving around pleasure, and avoidance of pain. They are NOT interested in Truth, Depth, Absolute Consciousness, the fullness of reality, feeling every possible thing, becoming God, or any of that. This is a rare thing to want, precisely because of how hard it is to follow your heart enough to even set the stage for the initial desire of enlightenment!!! 
 
•my lows are insanely low and no-fucks given, yet my highs are insanely high and also no-fucks given. Feelings have been intensified, feeling new feelings, and just in general extremely sensitive to consciousness. This is where life is at. You become relatable to every fucking being knowing you’ve experienced emotions/thoughts/trauma and joy they have experienced, in a human and divine way. You are so down to earth, understanding, compassionate, wise, etc. you become magnetic, as long as your physical health is top notch. Even then, people like you way more, despite it. It’s a Being thing. When people get to know you, they’ll be like WTF, you’re so deep!? Lmao. It’s the best compliment. 
 
•Work/money/independence/healthy orange is a must to stay grounded, practical, fit in with peers/clients/society, and actualize any visions of grand success. 
•Suffering can be our greatest teachers, conscious or not, as long as you have a commitment to never kill yourself or see this path all the way through. That keeps you going through horrifying times, where NO one is there to help you. No mom or dad or doctor can save you from your suffering, sometimes, not even God. Cause maybe you’re supposed to feel it and learn from it, rather than avoid or “transcend” it. 
 
——
Anyways, I’m exhausted writing all of this. I could literally talk for Infinity about what I have learned, but let’s just say that these last 5 years were Pure Horror, and torture. Being strapped to hospital beds, being injected with shots in my ass, people fighting me, cops, family issues, chronic health issues, losing every friend I had, etc. I was .0001% away from physically dying one time, but vowed to not be a devil anymore, and God had mercy on me. This was no fucking joke. I’ll write about this experience, one day. It happened after my 500+ hour 247 Two Month meditation retreat. This entire “failure” has just been a giant learning lesson from ego backlash, and the middle way. Rushing to enlightenment is the stupidest thing, once you are noticing your life falling apart. Autistically chasing it, without smelling the flowers, will result in massive degrees of suffering. This doesn’t mean enlightenment should be easy. It’s the hardest thing you can do. But, make it at least a pace you can continue without burning out and quitting for life, or killing your self from an ego-backlash. Trust me, I tried, it’s not fucking pretty. 
 
Anyways, I love you all so deeply over these last 6 years of Leo/forum. I had an old account “mrkvn8” back in 2016-2019, if y’all want to see how horribly I struggled in real-time after my 60 day retreat. I was so embarrassed by my past mistakes, I created a new account. Lmao. 
 
Namaste! 
 
Last thing, music is the epitome of beauty and love. It’s so helpful on this path, and necessary, IMO. It makes or brakes the fun of it. Listening to music depending on your state of consciousness elevates and helps process your contemplation much easier. I’m a 13 year musician, so maybe that makes sense, lol.
 
❤️

A Course in Miracles, by Helen-Schucman. My favorite ACIM quote is from the introduction:
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.
 

Last week I was thinking about posting a random appreciation for actualized.org but didn't and then after I read that Leo was absent for awhile I began to observe the impermanence of the channel and then everything else. It made me appreciate the things that I have more.
So I'm writing this to inspire others to do the same. Drop a line if you appreciate actualized.org. 

You think that ultimately there will be someone who'll be getting it... You are waiting for someone to get it, not knowing you are waiting for yourself... To realize you need not await anyone who gets it, because there's only YOU. So, who else can get it? And then, you finally get it!
But remember, it is knowing who you are. You are THAT. Only As THAT, you're One. And as One, you're ALL.
 
This comes with an energetic shift, suddenly more energy has been absorbed, release occurs is muscle/body where needed which was being held subconsciously and unknowingly.
 
Be One. Be that.
You come down from that to talk and play and engage. Then go back into yourself where you are one.
 
Hands need not grasped physically. Hands joined become One.
Yet hearts know no boundaries, being One with the heart is being One with all who are in You being with the heart/whole/resistance-free-flow. If hearts are joined, distance don't matter. You're in a Tesla, stay alert and simply turn when needed. You will find life, like Tesla, will take care of itself when you let it. All it asks is your Trust in it, like the Tesla does. Trust means steering is surrendered. You may steer wherever you wish, or you may enjoy the ride in your Trust. 
 
And remember, there's no proof of trust. Trust must be blind otherwise it's not trust you see? Trust is something you dive into. It's the unknown. It's the Tesla to a blindfolded you. The blindfolds come off and so so only ONCE, and you see you're in a Tesla. But it's even better. You're in a movie theater watching a POV VR movie.

If you observe what is happening without labeling it, you'll see that it's is just a big spontaneous happening, which is exactly like imagination: spontaneous creativity without any true origin. From this perspective, it sounds more valid to say that everything is imaginary, because there is no true "ground" from which things are arising out from. But this is also just a linguistic preference. You could describe it as "groundless" or "empty" or "nothing", or choose to not describe it at all.
That said, if you want to start labeling what is happening, you can start to make distinctions between things like "real" and "not real". For example, people will often call something not real if it's not shared among other people. If you're seeing pink elephants and nobody else are, they will tell you that it's not real. This is in fact where you get concepts like objective/physical reality: there seems to be a shared underlying ground from which a great amount of things are arising out from. But the mistake would be to think that this "shared ground" is nothing more than a label, just like "real" and "people".

And remember, failure on this journey is for a good reason. Failure, too, pass it will.
Pass onto your higher self, will you?

There is truth in mathematics but you have to understand what kind of truth it is. It is conceptual in nature. You have to consider its limits, context, and what you're using it for. You have to be careful about what you think it means.

@Leo Gura