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About Gianna

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  • Birthday 11/22/1996

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  1. Resistance to Creative Energy "Our resistance to our creativity is a form of self-destruction. We throw up road-blocks on our own path. Why do we do this? In order to maintain an illusion of control. Depression, like anger and anxiety, is resistance that creates dis-ease. This manifests itself as sloggishness, confusion, 'I don't know'" -Julia Cameron The Artist's Way The truth is that we do know. We do know, and we know that we know. Each of us has an inner dream, and inner artist, an inner child that needs to unfold is we will just have the courage to admit what it is. And the faith to trust our own admission. **** The admitting is often very difficult. A clearing affirmation can open the channel: "I know the things I know" *****
  2. Week 12 Recovering a Sense of Faith Adventures don't begin until you get into the forest. That first step in an act of faith. Trusting "I know what I know" – an affirmation for opening the channel of acceptance Do not take on the faith of our culture that says we are meant to be dutiful and then die. Take on the faith of our will that says we are meant to be creative, bountiful, channel God energy, and LIVE. live fully, actualize. It is the inner commitment to our souls and our willingness to follow our dreams that triggers the support of the universe. When we are ambivalent the universe is ambivalent If we look back on the times where the world seemed capricious and scary, then what we will see is that we were only conflicted with our own goals, ambitions, and behavior. By trusting we learn to trust. There is a path for each of us. When we are on the right path we have the right footing– we know the next thing that needs to be done although we don’t know what’s going to be around the corner. Mystery "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious" - Albert Einstein What shakes the eye but the invisible?" - Theodore Roethke We must acknowledge that creativity starts in the dark just like life does The right idea or insight is preceded by a gestation period of murky waters– you can't see things clearly. Creativity requires the respect of mystery and darkness— unknowingness. It cannot be forced (like A child or a dog). To patch an idea you can’t open the oven too soon and let the steam come out of the cake; holes will surface in the cake. Creativity requires reticent . Let ideas grow in dark and in mystery. Ideas need to rise. Let them form on the roof of our consciousness, let them hit the page in droplets and by trusting the droplets we will be surprised one day by a flash that says, "Oh! That's it!" The Imagination at Play Good art requires festivity and humor— the imagination at play We are driven by the standards of our society that says that if creativity cannot produce a direct result it is not worthy but do not force consistent creativity, you will rot its magic. Creativity requires a new definition from society. One that expand and includes hobbies. Hobbies are grounding. There is a release of humility that comes with doing something just for love. As we engage in hobbies we are released from the ego mind an allowed to merge with expanded resources. This touching of consciousness affords us the perspective needed to resolve conundrums. Get serious about taking yourself lightly Work at learning to play Our creativity always leaves us yearning for more. We sing in the car, slam down the phone, make lists, clear closets, short through shelves. We want to do something, but we think it needs to be the RIGHT something— something important. But WE are what’s important. So that 'something' that we do can be something festive and small. You’re either losing your mind or gaining your soul. Escape Velocity "To travel across the sea you must be willing to lose sight of the shore" - I forget who said this The first rule of magic is containment: zip the lip, button up, keep a lid on it, don’t give away the gold. You hold your intention within yourself, stoking it with power. Only then will you be able to manifest what you desire. In order to be a creative, you must learn to be your own counsel, move silently among doubters, to voice our plans only among our allies ,and name your allies accurately. ******** Do not indulge or tolerate ANYONE who throws cold water in your direction— forget “good intentions” or “they didn’t mean it” Escape velocity requires the sword of steely intention and the shield of self-determination. Set your goals and set your boundaries. “Don’t let the ogre that looms on the horizon deflect your flight.”
  3. Resistance - resistance comes from meaning-making. You can make, change, or erase any meaning you want. If you created a harmful meaning in childhood, it can be re-scripted. You can reprogram your computer. You can rewire your conditioned mind. - everything we've repressed has to be allowed to surface -ricky - our feelings need to be felt in order to recognize the illusory nature of the story -RF 🌹 - as long as there's anything unresolved in us, that dissatisfaction's always going to be there - because we long for wholeness and unity, and whatever unresolved conflict there is in us is going to make us feel divided inside.-RF - "What Adyashanti's suggesting, I think, is to ask yourself what's preventing you from feeling free and at peace in this moment - it's like the question posed by one Zen master: 'What, in this moment, is lacking?' Because there tends to be a feeling in humans that something's missing, a sort of root dissatisfaction that keeps us striving for more, but to be enlightened is, as much as anything, to be free of that feeling, to see that what we've been seeking all our lives is our own essential nature - what we seek is what we are! But the seeking obscures it, that's the funny thing, which is why there's so much of an emphasis in spirituality on stopping and being still. But when people do that, often what they discover initially is a lot of agitation, unrest, disquiet, etc., and it's actually that which makes us seek - we're seeking relief, but we often find it in unhealthy ways (eg alcohol, drugs, food, etc., etc.)."
  4. @RickyFitts My inner child is locked in the basement and is trying to get my attention to come play!!! LOL.
  5. So today I started to re-listened to this episode by Leo. I know he mentioned that it's more personal development than metaphysical, but I feel like as you go through your awakening process these 'phases' start to speed up. The cycles become faster and faster and faster until eventually they collapse; whereas, before certain awakenings, the cycles were spread out across long periods of "time". I don't know, what do you guys think? Just a little food for thought. Also, I kind of feel like– for girls– they go through mini-cycles of these phases throughout the month. 4 phases = 1 phases per week = 4 weeks of the monthly cycle. It aligns with what they say in women's circles about how a women's menstrual period (emotionally) feels like the four seasons of the year all crammed in the 4 weeks of the month. Fall = one week. Spring= second week. Etc. Again, just food for thought
  6. Okay so today I woke up with this song stuck in my head but I haven't listen to it in forever; so I thought that was weird. I tried to ignore it but it was nagging at me over and over and over again. Just repeating in my head, I couldn't focus. So I finally caved and decided to listen to it while watching the lyrics. And just wow. This song is completely spoken from my Inner Child to my Ego. From God/Source to my Mind. From me, to ME: When it says: I know you trying to do you But I heard you fell off Just a couple bad nights And 20 cold hearts This is so true because recently I was completely knocked off a really good streak with myself, my meditations, my creative work, GOD, being connected, etc. by my family coming to town, my ex harassing me, and a could of other thing [20 cold hearts]. I just felt like I was loosing control. And the result was me being soooo consumed in my mind and not being able to get into the present moment; when before, it was easy and immediate for me to get into the moment, idk. But I'm getting back on it now My Inner Child/Source : Yeah, I'm really tired of Being soft spoken You got my broken, writing songs About you daily and it's Messing with my focus [like literally songs have been trying to speak to me from my higher self [i.e. yesterday's SOTD]) ... I'm the one for you so why do I feel like I go unnoticed ... Even though you ain't mine It's the fact that I'm yours It's the fact that my life ain't complete Without yours It's the fact that at night I be tryin' to ignore Catching over seas flights just to Knock on your door Cause you put my planet in orbit ... Just wait til' you give in and finally come over I can't wait to tell you "I told ya, I told ya, I told ya" hehheehe. I don't expect anyone to understand this hahaha. It's just feelings my Inner Child/Source is sending me. Also, another weird thing is that I have had the compulsion to go back and re-listen to Leo's episode on "Life Unfolds in Chapter and Phases". And that matches the title and thesis of the song, Phases– another weird little connection. So I'm making it my SOTD
  7. Oh wow!! What a beautiful story. I love that. Yes, these things definitely happen and I love it. Thanks for sharing
  8. LOL! Okay, so this one is funny and ironic but kind of embarrassing. heheh. Throwing it back to 2009 with Disney. So, this morning someone told me to never give up on Love and Hope. It was a nice reminder because I was loosing my grip on it. Then, I went to the store to get almond milk and this song started playing but I didn't notice it until I did (it was kind of low-volume). I started to hear the lyrics for what they were which I don't usually do when I am grocery shopping, you know? And with everything going on with me right now I really feel like my spirit guides were trying to send me a message. hahaha. So I am making it my SOTD:
  9. @Tudo I care about him and I know he is struggling. The behavior just shows that he is suffering. So I send him my love from afar. This doesn't mean I tell him about it, lead him on, or reject him. He doesn't even know that I do it.
  10. Ohhh hey! Hahaha. That's a good point
  11. Did you feel hurt by her not being there for you?
  12. No just different emails. But I am going to do a police warning (like @Seed mentioned) before doing a restraining order. I also am going to work through my emotions because this is how it goes: he violates me and I get angry/enraged (like I was last night) and then after the storm settles I feel intense guilt and shame (like I feel today) I need to work through these emotions, while staying strong. After an outburst like last night he is usually good at staying away for awhile. We will see what happens and if it results to this ^^.
  13. @Preety_India How long did it take? @mandyjw Wow, this is incredible. I will definitely be practicing that. And your entire post just completely nailed it. That's exactly everything that's going on. With him, with me. Why it goes in a circle. Because there's like this desperation from him and this intense guilt and shame and responsibility from me. But the times where I get desperate (desperate for emotional resolve) he turns away and won't work with me for any kind of resolve. It breaks me down but I know it is breaking him down as well. I have loved from afar. The times I don't talk to him, I write him letters sending my love (but I just keep them in my drawer I don't send them obviously). But I don't know if this has any impact on him because the neurosis is still there. I will definitely be trying this technique. Thank you for sharing