Barbara

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Posts posted by Barbara

  4. Posted

    Hi there! 
    I was hoping you could give me some advice and tips on how to optimize meditation practice.

    I'm on a two-year meditation streak. I meditate twice a day, in the morning and in the night, and it really depends on the phase, sometimes I meditate 40 minutes in each session, sometimes (lately) I meditate 5. I feel great about this streak because I used to struggle with showing up every day, but at the same time, I'm not putting that much effort into meditation right now, and I do it almost robotically because it's so meshed in my routines, that is like brushing my teeth. It has become a structural pattern that I'm not so proud of.
    I also spot some patterns that arise in consequence of a procrastination snowball effect. When I'm in a procrastination wave, I also tend to procrastinate regarding meditation. But that's an insight aside. 

    So what works for you, in keeping a long-term quality meditation practice? (Of course, with the natural swing of any practice, just to manage expectations)

    Thank you for your time :x

  8. Posted

    On 20/02/2022 at 6:45 PM, Gesundheit2 said:
    • Tendency for crossing boundaries, which tends to increase even more with people who let down their boundaries for some reason, which is another reason why I don't like people giving me special treatment, because I have an unconscious tendency to abuse it. Looking back, I probably picked up this habit unconsciously from my parents who are always super involved in everything we do. My parents aren't good at people, and so it's no surprise that we struggle too.
    • Assuming that my perspective is obvious to everyone else, which time keeps proving that it rarely is the case. Most people aren't as transparent and direct as I am. Combined with the two habits above, this can become disastrous sometimes. So, I assume my perspective is obvious, then I see a hint of victim mentality, so I try to push my perspective down people's throat, and when they push back and resist, that activates my boundary-crossing tendency, and you know the rest.

    I stand exactly on the other side. 
    I have the tendency to be people pleaser and find inner value in being useful to others. I used to be so detached from my wants and needs that sometimes I couldn’t even perceive what I really wanted let alone speak it. I guess that’s from the many years of suppressing those to fit. Something that helped me was speaking more directly and transparently indeed, even if I somehow felt that could hurt others. I do encounter people that have a unconscious tendency to push my people pleasness. I get stiff and back away. But if something makes me uncomfortable I force myself to say it. Before tho, I might do embarrassing things. I remember one time I peeled an apple for my sister’s bf bc he asked me to. “Barbara peel this apple for me.
    Sure” 

    Lol 

  9. Posted · Edited by Barbara

    Writing this ^ took me 1 freaking hour. 

    I'm constantly finding things to get distracted and postponing what I'm doing. I've been procrastinating with ecom related stuff like hell these last 2 months. And it makes me feel bad.

    But I just realized... why didn't I see this before... I'm backlashed as shit. Just like my last meditation retreat. I pushed it too much and then felt so much repulse for spiritual stuff.

    But the most important thing... I got over it!! I stopped my practice for a couple of months, but then I got back at it, I was stronger than ever and have a solid practice up until today. So I'll get over this low and be stronger!

    My plan is to identify what I gotta do, pick a small task at a time, and show up every day.

     

  10. Posted · Edited by Barbara

    How to find a solid product/market:

    Market criteria:

    • Passionate
    • People in this market identify with it
    • Has a problem/pain
    • High-income people

    This criterion is pretty straightforward, but here are a couple of examples:

    1. Neck pain work from home market 
    2. Women with knee pain market

    Example #1: People who have neck pain and work from home.

    • Is it niched? yeah. 
    • Do they have a problem? yeah.
    • So why not choose this market?
    • Simple: No passion. Not something they identify with. When it comes to building a brand resonation is huge.

    This market doesn't identify with the fact that they work from home. It's not something they would put in their IG bio. Building a brand and a story around a market that lacks passion and identity will be tough.

     

    Example #2: Women with knee pain market

    • Is it niched? yeahhh kinda?
    • Do they have a problem? yeah.

    So why not this market either?

    The same concepts apply to this example, but the main difference here is this: often when people want to niche down they take a route that isn't necessarily helpful. 

    They begin with a problem: Knee pain > Then they begin choosing characteristics that narrow down their audience without adding any benefit.

    Demographics usually won't make a difference unless it's something they identify with. Instead, choose a passionate, concrete niche. 

    Of course, people make tons of money in the markets I said I wouldn't choose, so there is an opportunity, but is it the best opportunity? 

    Now how would I go about finding a market I would go after?

    1. Take a notebook out and literally just think of all the things people are passionate about. I promise you can think of at least 50.
    2. If you really can't think of 50 you can use google and search for passions. Research what problems these groups of people face. Talk to people in the market and ask about their issues (youtube, google, reddit, watch interviews.)
    3. Find what these people are already buying to solve their issues.

    After step 3, you begin to plan how you'll create a better business than people who are already successfully selling that product. Do their ads suck? how about their offer? branding? site?

    Find the opportunity. Improve everything. Be a better business than the business that's doing well.

    If you find a business that sucks and is making a killing, you've potentially struck a goldmine.

    Find the market. Find the problems. Find what they're already buying to solve that problem. Improve everything that competitors are doing. Find your own edge in your ads, content, brand, etc.

    (via: ecom cowboy twitter)

     

    BTW: The title of this journal has a spelling mistake. I meant "How to not be a broke hippie" 
    If someone knows how to change this, pls help 9_9

  12. Posted

    You want to promote evolution within the forum but you're doing so by creating a fear-based and strict environment. I won't say it won't work. But you'll have a micro tyranny going. And like all the tyrannies it will implode. I don't know if you're doing compartmentalization and feel the need to apply blue rules here, but this just shows a lack of real-world experience managing communities.

    You were criticizing Daniel for being utopian and elitist, and I believe that's why you do all that pickup vids on your youtube, but what are you trying to do here then? Make it congruent.

  16. Posted · Edited by Barbara

    @spinderella It's normal that new relationships need adaptation and when you're with someone there is a whole other individual you have to consider when making decisions that might affect them. It's hard! Ahah 

    The way I see it it's a tradeoff. You get new great things, you lose some other great things. And at the beginning that might be weird. I don't know what things specifically you have to "lose", that's something you both have to figure out. It's different for everybody. But be in peace with that tradeoff.

    I'm telling you this because you referred that you can be a little avoidantly attached. And the point I want to get across is that I believe you would benefit from talking through boundaries with your partner. Like, where does he stand regarding this for example: 

    1 hour ago, spinderella said:

    I do see myself running off into the jungle to study with a shaman for a month, or living free as a bird

    Then you can both adjust where you feel comfortable, whether that means acting accordingly in the relationship or following different paths.

    1 hour ago, spinderella said:

    Because I want to be with him

    Contemplate for a moment if what you want is being with him, John (sorry for calling him John), with all of what he stands for and represents, or with someone that is compatible and shares the same life goals and visions as you, that is reliable and honest and treats you well? Because I'm sure there are a lot of people like that, but there's only one John :)

  17. Posted

    7 minutes ago, spinderella said:

    Sometimes I get worried that I don't have the 'head over heels' feeling. 

    Why do you get worried? 

    8 minutes ago, spinderella said:

    Here's my deal.  I'm concerned that taking 5-MeO is going to make me question my relationship that's still pretty new.  I don't want to fuck this up, I really don't.  I like the relationship I have, even if I'm still gaining my footing in it (I'm a little avoidantly attached).  

    What I sense is that you feel 5-MeO would blatantly show you things you don't want to see. Your concern is your answer.

    Why would it be so bad to end this relationship? Just asking, not suggesting.

  19. Posted

    Meanwhile a mathematician “How do they live like that, never understanding how math is everywhere! Symmetry, estimation, probabilities, universal nature patterns! We live in a blind world!”

    Ahah although we take great interest on these matters other people might be busy understanding other equally deep and foundational topics of Human Existence. I don’t think evolution is done by everyone starting to contemplate human consciousness and reality. Is done by people realizing the depth of existence, which can steam from many places, from pottery to medicine to math. And yet, every path takes to enlightenment isn’t that so?

  21. Posted · Edited by Barbara

    Second tier memes are not so much about content. The way I see it content can only take you so far and green is just great for that. So some of your questions have no possible answer because it will simply look different for everyone, as everyone is different, and different things make sense for different people. If you take something from my comment is that second tier relationships are custom made. Of course tho, I would say that everything is experienced at a very deep level, and a constant search for systemic pattern as foundation rise as a guide, to ultimately understand or better perceive how everything is intertwined. At least that’s my perception of it.