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About AwakenedSoul444

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  1. Well at least I'm comforted by the fact that I'm dating the girl in another version of the dream of the infinite conciousness lol. It's not a big comfort but it's there. Just icing on the shit cake that is my day today
  2. @Meetjoeblack You sound like some badass pickup artist, not being sarcastic here
  3. This shit still just gets me every time I think about it, this is a hilarious idea
  4. It's not enough, it seems like it would work in theory but it really won't, people on here even enlightened people don't seem really tough and don't have strong personalities, only one who comes close is Dumuzzi but he's been through kundalini syndrome nightmares - and that's what can do it, throwing yourself into a nightmarishly hard situation like the military or kundalini syndrome and that'll end up making you enlightened or a fucking badass. The monastary would make me a fluffy new age honey bun without a personality, not what I'm looking for
  5. I need to have the kind of strength that karate masters use to break giant blocks of wood and concrete in half with their bare hands, I want to be able to fuck someone up real bad if they fuck with me first, I need power and discipline to become self actualized. But I've noticed I'm trying to draw strength by pulling strength into my ego and strengthening it, listening to music like skrillex all day and really pumping my ego up thinking I'm the shit, I've noticed I don't actually have much of the strength/power I want to have, but just imagine that I do. How to unfocus from the ego and begin to draw in true strength - the kind enlightened people have access to. Is it only by becoming enlightened?
  6. @m0hsen deactivation means bringing it down that it does not rise up again unless you want it to. It does not close the gates as this is something that should not be done unless you want to stay in the human world without spiritual progress. I did experience bliss when my kundalini first awakened, I felt as if I was high on heroin or probably better, but it eventually passed and the kundalini now just causes stress and anxiety when it's risen
  7. Kundalini is no big deal, there's a potential many people don't know about , that you can easily bring it back down to the root chakra or to the source, the rising of it is what causes negative symptoms. The way to do it: Pray - Archangel gabriel please deactivate my kundalini . Sometimes I had to repeat this several hundred times for it to work (or just many times, I felt I was doing it for several hours without results until it worked), I have no idea why but it worked eventually. Of course maybe some people's kundalini is so strong this doesn't help, supposedly there are levels of kundalini awakening, but it's worth a shot
  8. I made a post a few weeks ago about how I was trying to attract this girl from work, well I hid that post because it was becoming the cringest example of victimhood and my weak attempts to attract girls. Anyways I wrote in the post that the girl from work I was trying to attract eventually told me she has a boyfriend, well today the weirdest shit happened at work. I mentioned that she should work overtime because I'm too lazy to work at the first cash register, as a joke - and maybe I included her in the joke because subconciously I had a crush on her. Anyways, later I went to the office to get some cash and she was coincidentally there ending her shift and counting her money, so I said "maybe she could give me some money" and then this fucxking short manager guy who looks like a midget who went to the military in his past probably said this: Why do you talk about her so much, I guess there's a love story going on. I didn't say anything lol, I was just like wtf . Also people were like saying she's taken and has a boyfriend that's a boxer that really made me angry I wanted to kill everyone in that room and her boyfriend, and her Then I came back because I accidentally gave the guy money that I was supposed to give to a client, and he was pissed off that I kept coming back so I was like "yeah, it's because I'm obsessed with her so much" was supposed to be a joke but I think it revealed that I subconciously have a crush on her. Lol I'm tired of my shitty results with girls, I simultaneously have anxiety, depression so every time I have an opportunity to get a girl it's like I'm trapped in a deep prison of my anxiety which prevents me from making any friends and closing off my communication channels , and there's a girl I can get but she always friendzones me because she sees I'm in the prison, it's a fucking nightmare! And I feel like I'm in hell. Combine all of this with the other nightmarish brain fog problem I have in my life that prevents me from getting my life together, and you have a recipie for a horror story basically: I've had kind of a breakthrough with social anxiety yesterday where I finally tried an exposure which an idea popped into my mind for and it worked great and my anxiety temporarily dissolved, But Stuff like this reminds me that I'm in the fucking prison and the path out of the prison is infinitely long and hard I just wanna stop existing , I'm overloaded with anger I wanna train so hard and become so badass that if her boyfriend comes I'll fuck him up really bad if he tries to talk any shit to me. I wanna train all day and all night I don't care, I'm tired of being weak and losing every time, tired of always not getting the girl.
  9. I want to take LSD soon but I'm scared I might get HPPD. What's the actual risk percentage to get it? Seems like a pretty shitty disorder to aquire and I already have a few disorders in me I don't want to be collecting disorders lol.
  10. I've got a bunch of high quality meditations, hypnosis sessions and meditation music that I purchased over the years, and I figure why not share this with other people? I'll give you any session you want, after giving you a list of them and optionally you can volunteer for me to make a plan, to listen to them in a specific order to work on your entire life situation PM me if you want this
  11. Jesus isn't as badass as the equalizer, and he's got a negative image overall now because of all the christian programming and dogma. Of being some weak figure that was sacrificed for the sins of mankind lol.
  12. I want a hot girlfriend right now! Hopefully this LSD that I'm gonna take in a few days will help me overcome the anxiety and then I'll finally make friends and a gf.
  13. @Leo Gura I'm going to finish weaning off the meds in 4 days, then gonna wait 3 days and take LSD. I'm almost there lol. My mental health issues are getting better, I'm listening to this hypnosis for self esteem by mindfit, doing more spiritual practices like the RASA and strong determination sitting, going for 30 min- hour walks .
  14. I'm going off lol. Guess I've lost it, gonna taper them for a week and just get off. I'll take the withdraws this is how it's done. I'm not gonna ask my psychiatrist for advice because I just asked her for new medication shell think I'm crazy. Oh and I want to take lsd right away after I get off these damn things
  15. I wanna get off this shit. My new medication abilify gives me a bit of motivation but makes me sleep all the time after work. Lol wtf thought this could make me do more PD but I'm sleeping.