JohnD

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Posts posted by JohnD

  5. Posted

    On 12/13/2020 at 2:36 PM, SamC said:

    What I'm great at exactly is talking to people like you for example and than understanding and getting intuitive deep insights about you and the world which I than can share.

    Ahh I see. Have you done any work understanding collectives, or small group work? In my experience the ability to intuit insights of individuals translates smoothly to an ability to intuit insights of collectives.

  14. Posted · Edited by JohnD

    57 minutes ago, assx95 said:

    I have accepted my fate in a very chill way like it doesn't matter whether are any women in my life. [...] I've given up on love though. And i don't feel like pursuing women anymore. 


    If you've done the emotional processing and have come to this place authentically, you're on a good trajectory. If this is an excuse you're using to avoid the emotional labor, turn back now. Don't ignore your basic needs.

    I see people on this forum talk about not needing other people, I even read a thread yesterday that said you don't need other people for a healthy sex life. How much of ourselves do we have to disown just so we can fit into a little box in our heads?

    Edit: grammer

  15. Posted

    I agree with @aurum. A lot of the resistance to integrating the shadow has to do with feeling your own judgements. It helps to become aware of this if you choose to approach this through shadow work.

    Bring your focus back within you, you're focussed too much on how the women respond to you and are giving away too much power. Women are attracted to self-confidence.

    You're thinking too much. Get back in your body.

  18. Posted

    It's natural to defend yourself when someone comes after you. Sounds like your girlfriend did just that. Parents have a tendency to 'break' their children, which is probably why you feel depressed and weak when he's yelling (when you were too young to defend yourself, he'd probably just crush you mentally). Sounds like you have some trauma to work through here.

  19. Posted

    Sounds like you're relying heavily on others for your mental needs. We're all here to increase our capacity to own ourselves, and it sounds like you have an internal need for the more confident, self-sufficient part of yourself. Like hoodrow said above, get grounded. Learn to know what energy is yours. Also know that this energy is playing in a duality. The confident, standoffish part is opposed to the needy, helpless and undirected part. Transcending the struggle involves holding both energies and allowing them to communicate and express. It may feel difficult to get out of the needy frame, but remember that if the neediness is in you, so is the confidence. Have faith in yourself

  20. Posted

    I have a little experience here. Day trading is very orange. Luck plays a large role in individual and organizational success. There's a great depth of understanding that goes along with day trading and many variations of day trading (Stocks, Options, Equities, Futures, Securities, ETFs, etc). I highly recommend studying this if you're new to stage orange and it interests you, as there's enough content and progression to consume your attention for a good few years. On the other hand, you won't find fulfillment, and you probably won't get out what you put in.  It's fundamentally chaotic, and if you're introspective you might get the sense you're wasting your potential.

    TLDR: It's a good option if you're new to stage orange

  22. Posted

    I've found Shinzen Young's See-Hear-Feel practice does wonders for my emotional clarity. It's a basic mindfulness practice, but very powerful for increasing your ability to feel deeply and clearly. In terms of 'dealing' with emotions, they need space to flow. This'll happen automatically and naturally as your clarity increases.

  24. Posted

    Your honesty will serve your self development well. Careful with being too honest with the outside world, there seems to be a balance to be found between speaking truth and staying connected to others.

    You're not alone. The psyche is designed to do this under certain developmental circumstances, and tons of people have had similar experiences. From a Jungian perspective, it seems you're struggling with 'Anima projection'. Doesn't sound too helpful, so I'll explain:

    The 'Anima' is the feminine counterpart within the male psyche.

    'Projection' is when we see a part of ourself in someone else because we're unable or unwilling to see this part within yourself.

    Sounds like your feminine counterpart is trying to break through into consciousness and is seeking the most viable person in your life to project this onto.

    A practical and powerful exercise would be visualizing a conversation between these two parts. This opens an inner dialogue, and these parts begin to integrate and 'discover' each-other, just like a dialogue with someone in the real world.

  25. Posted

    Sounds like you're struggling with the need for external validation. The idea that words are just pointers is very basic, I know many in stage orange that believe this to be true. 2 thoughts:

    1. You're trying to share things with these people that aren't for sharing, but are for internal integration. This is taking away from your self-actualization and feeding theirs. You need to create clear boundaries between you and others, or you'll fall into the trap of, "But I am him so I need to convince him".
    2. Do some research on narcissism. Lower stages of the spiral are characteristically more narcissistic than higher stages (i.e. their circle of concern is smaller). It may seem counter-intuitive, but the need to convince them indicates that you're taking their positions personally.