halo

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  1. I think my biggest fear about pursuing the truth/spirituality/enlightenment, is that it will come at a huge cost. That at some point I will come across a pill too big to swallow. Something that cannot ever be unseen. The big cosmic joke? Or perhaps I have already discovered the truth and spent my entire existence forgetting it so that I can continue experiencing life through different perspectives? i.e. God is everything and created "separation" in order to feel. Part of me says that I only have that fear because I have been programmed to believe that there is always a catch, you can't have your cake and eat it too, everything comes at a cost, etc. But I also want to believe that all of that is only dualistic thinking. How do you see through the distortions? This unsettling feeling has probably been the biggest hindrance in going further. I just want to know if the fear is real or unfounded.
  2. Please don't go this way. I know a lot of people who have come out really fucked up and haven't been the same since. I'm not against Iboga just that you shouldn't START with it for trauma.
  3. Skip the Aya for now. Ever notice how a lot of people who are into Aya, and have done dozens of ceremonies, are still fucked up? Read this What MDMA Therapy Did For Me and then How to Get Started with Planet Medicine Therapy. Tucker Max is the last person I ever thought would write about Trauma so that says a lot. He's friends with Tim Ferris who is a huge supporter of psychedelic therapy, and MAPS. Also, feel free to PM me if you're interested in trauma therapies.
  4. Trauma is trapped in the body/nervous system. The stories in your mind are a result of the trauma, and not the source. So how would it be possible to heal it via hypnosis?
  5. Did it heal you? Do you feel like you still need to do more sessions?
  6. Hi Guys, I just wanted to share a course that was mentioned in a 5-MeO-DMT group I am part of. It is free and applies to more than just psychedelic integration. Empowered Integration Personal Toolkit - https://www.jarahtree.com
  7. I've done up to 80mg so I feel ya.
  8. I guess that's what I'm gonna have to do. Got up to 80mg and it was actually way less intense than 60mg. Tried it a couple of times and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Even tried going sublingual. There goes my stash. So next step is to get one of those vaporizer things so I don't burn my house down while trying to be enlightened. Safety first.
  9. Haha you're welcome. It actually took a lot for me to be so open about all of this. I feel kinda naked sharing all of this stuff so your words mean a lot to me. I am 6ft tall and weigh about 150lbs. But height/weight doesn't seem to matter with psychedelics.
  10. The thing is it won't dissolve in water. And according to reports on here, it's not very pleasant. I wonder if oxalate is soluble in propylene glycol.
  11. I bought 500mg worth and was expecting it to last awhile but I guess not... It does! That may explain why most supplements that have a noticeable effect for a lot of people, have no effect on me. I was thinking of going up to 70mg next time, but I'll probably just go straight to 80mg, and go down from there.
  12. Boy oh boy. I did 60ish mg last night and it definitely wasn't enough since there was still a me to fight the experience. It was terrifying for my ego. I kept reminding myself to surrender and I was getting there at some point but then the whole-body orgasm (or whatever that was) became too much to handle and I ended up kneeling on my bed in a fetal position. And exclaimed that I wanted to be alive! I think the scariest part of it all was that it felt like I was going crazy and would stay like that permanently. There are truly no words to express what it felt like. It felt non-dualistic but I was still aware of my body so I'm not sure that I "broke through." Surprisingly it didn't even last 30 mins and I thought it would considering the administration method. I also had this thought that the most loving thing I could do is die. The most fucked up thought that came up was that life is a game about finding ways to kill yourself. (Knowing you can't?) Are these just distortions of my psyche/subconscious? I don't even know what to think! But I will be back