Eph75

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Posts posted by Eph75

  1. Posted

    1 minute ago, Anna1 said:

    I've had the insight. I was trying to help him with one thing I thought he was over looking, but he wouldn't engage with me about it. So be it.

    That may be so, but there are things you write that contradict this, so the agrumentation is in a sense stuck, running in a circle, trying to "rub somthing in", in you, but since we know it don't work that way, the most interesting thing to do, for you, would be to go back and try to figure out what that could be. That would/could result in such a stretch (sorry about the stretch reference, I wa editing my post while you replied) ?

  2. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    41 minutes ago, Anna1 said:

    And I'm only asking a question. So, what's the problem?

    The problem is that you are arguing against an enlightenment insight without you yourself having had the insight. 

    That in itself make sense, because without having experienced this insight in first person, it would/could just sound like lofty gibberish. But in fact, it makes perfect sense, once you experience it yourself.

    Further more an interesting thing is that arguing against even more cements your mind in dogma. Let go of the dogma and be curious, you mind might open up, if you are willing to learn to know. 

    Keep in mind that consciousness evolution is not about knowledge, you don't simply consume and regurgitate information and then have a perienced developmental growth. That is not how such vertical development happens. Your mind needs to stretch and in order to stretch you have to deliberately let go of the hold you have on your dogmas. 

    Even with a particular insight, there may be disagreements, but also an insight is that perception is only that, much as myself don't particularly like all that rubbing in of everything being illusion, but that is alright, because perception holding the power to present truth in different shapes, the illusion or imagination I mention is just that, perception is illusory. 

    Argumentation is the ultimate paradox. It makes no sense to argue when holding that insight, which makes this forum so dogmatic. 

  3. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    It allows you to see "yourself" in a new and different way. It changes everything, but it is the same. In a sense a perspective shift. A new way of making sense of "what is". In the end the world you see is the world you are experiencing. There is no separation between anything, spirituality, whatever insights there are and your life, world, job, relationships. They are all still there, if you choose them to be. You see them differently, they might not carry the same meaning or value to you anymore, but they are no less real as real as anything you ever experience. They "are", and there is no separation.

    It is all within non-duality. Non-duality cjabges how you relate to those things. Again, changes the relationship, the perspective. That does not mean that you can't till pursue or accomplish things. What you want to accomplish may be different. How you want to accomplish will be different. How you percieve accomplishment will be different.

    In a sense, there is no "taking it seriously", that is much too serious. It just is. Accept what is and the illusion is no illusion, it just is. 

    It changes the "whys" in your relation to materialism and dating.

  4. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    You definitively can accelerate the journey by knowing what limitations there are, finding them in yourself so that you can work on them - and - at the same time create challenges that can/may produce developmental growth deliberately. 

    Keep in mind, changing how the mind makes sense of things is not a decision away, it actually has to "upgrade" or "rewire in order to be able to hold a new way of understanding/making meaning of something. Knowledge is not it. 

  5. Posted

    Personal development and self-actualization is a bit cumbersome in that you can't make anyone get into this game. Either you get into it based on something that happened to you or something that no longer works for you, e.g. via a crisis. The other way is to become curious up to a point where you are ready to start becoming active in your journey. 

    Actual pointing to something particular rarely works, suggestion and casually redirecting conversation into the realm of self-actualization seems like a better idea. We're not all willing to be on thus journey and it is ok not to be, bot everyone will self-actualize in life, on the contrary few will. 

    Do they want to change or is it you wanting them to change? 

    Being a positive influence as much as you can and maybe people around you start seeing the benefits and build up an interest from there. Or they don't and that is ok too. There's controlling this, you can only change yourself. 

  6. Posted

    We can be attached to an idea, e.g. that we need friends in order to be happy, but that is like most any desire, there's always another desire or "thing" that hinder us from becoming "happy". 

    It is possible to change your relationship to your emotions in such a way that you detatch from ideas and then realize that happiness, ourpose, direction and so on has nothing to do with extrinsic things but is 100% intrinsic. 

    Let go of the idea of needing friends and figure out what is going on inside of you, again, without involving extrinsic factors which we usually turn to in order to avoid responsibility, in forms of justification and/or blaming circumstances or people in our surrounding - or - such extrinsic things lacking in that surrounding. 

    The world is in you and only in you, as are the answers. Starting looking in ghe right place AND importantly also looking in the right way without turning it into shame or guilt but always with compassion, understanding and acceptance for the self and the situation you are in.

    When acceptance is found, responsibility is absolute and with those two there can be no victim. From there it is much easier to pursue change without attachment to the idea of that thing should be a certain way to be "alright". It is already alright, it is the attachment to the idea that things should be in another way that makes us miserable. 

  8. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    Anger is there for you to set outward boundaries. 

    Fear is there for you to protect yourself from harm, possibly determine whether to fight or flight.

    Both are calling out for you to take action. Failing to take action may result in building up anxiety. 

    Anger/aggression can be a coping skill, e.g. you can turn to anger in order to avoid feeling another emotion, e.g. fear, that is when fear is too uncomfortable you may make a conscious or unconscious habit to mask it with anger. 

    Many different emotions can turn into coping with anger.

     

  9. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    @Organica If there only was one, and you are that one, then you can't go away (die) and you can't come back (reincarnate) since there was only one. You can't reincarnate into some other, you can't reincarnate into all, you were always all and everything perceivable and unperceivable. What you perceive as you and the reality you observe is only a lens, a filter through which your perception is limited. If you are "it" - and all that is is contained in "it" - then everything is in "you", and how could you possible reincarnate into something that is already inside you?

  10. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    You can stop self-talk through becoming aware of it. Systematically becoming aware will, just as meditation, reduce the length and frequency of self-talk before we become aware. When things happen in life, self-talk is affected, just as meditation is "better" or "worse" depending on the circumstances in our present life.

    When becoming aware of self-talk, we can switch to inquiry and try to see patterns in what it is we are procrastinating, so that we can move that thought into the present and take whatever internal or external actions are needed to rid ourselves of the content. This paired with working on calming the mind is quite effective.We can quite quickly find ourselves in a place where the negative self-talk gets quieted down, which gives your mind space to be creative. A somewhat less problematic side-effect is that your mind might switch from negative/costing/problematic self-talk to creative/constructive/exploring self-talk.

    Tricky stuff when it comes to the ego, you might be disillusioned to thinking that your self-talk, that is negative, is serving your purpose, which is negative. Even when asking if it's working well for you, you might be so disillusioned that you think it is while in fact it's not.

    Depending on what your purpose is, if it's to be 100% in the NOW, that might be quite frustrating. If our purpose is to function and achieve in the illusion of reality, it can be quite useful. Whatever serves your purpose/works well is right in your world. That's all we can do, become more aware and constantly refine that purpose, which might be reduced down to nothing, just being.

  13. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    Fiction: "You are already there" 

    Fact: If you are not, then you are not. You are THERE, it is the same world, but it is completely differently percieved. Hence, you are NOT there. Claiming that someone that is not there to "already be there" adds nothing but confusion and a sense of lack of direction as you would be left with the feeling that you do not have to do anything more at all to "be there". No, it is not that easy. You will understand when you have had the insight. There is a good chance that someone is mindfucking you without helpful intentions - or they themselves only believe that they "are already there". 

  14. Posted

    @Arcangelo then it is not the money that will make you happy, you have happiness already. If you thought that $1mill would have made you happy, that is when you would have been unsatisfied when you get there, and $100mill would be what/when you think you would be happy.

    If you are already happy, $100mill would not hurt to have - - - - - or would it? Worth thinking about. 

  15. Posted

    If I fear being lit on fire, facing my fear does not mean that I should light myself on fire. Instead reason with your fear, understand it and the power it holds will subside. Having a fear can be irrational and when resoning with it, you might see that it is false. 

    Alcoholism in the family is not an irrational fear. But it may be irrational to you. It may be rational and you need to understand or change something that you do, which might be fueling the fear. I.e. you might trigger the fear when you drink but you drink very little and very seldom. Mixed with awarness of risk, that fear is irrational and you can let it go. If you drink like a motherfucker and you have that fear, well then it is rational and you need to create change to overcome it. In both cases you face your fear. Can you overcome it? Who knows. 

  17. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    @Lubomir Yes, that's where emotions come into play. Anger as an emotion is there for one reason and that's to manage outer boundaries (fight-or-flight) so that your - @Preety_India  - personal "space"; self-esteem, self-worth etc isn't invaded and/or shrunk. At the same time shame is there to set your inner boundaries.

    Anger and shame should be respected in a healthy way in order to maintain your self-esteem. Downplaying your anger will cause others to invade your "space" and up-playing shame will cause you yourself to further shrink your own "space". We can't feel good about ourselves when this happens. Essentially, that's just what low self-esteem is, not seeing your own right to your "space" and hence you will develop a low self-worth as other peoples "space" yield a higher worth than yours.

    In this cause he is obviously making your smaller than you should be, playing on your self-esteem. The reason is simply that you let him do that. And you seem to have a hard time to stand up for yourself in a reasonable way. So that's probably a good place to start contemplation.

  19. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    When down the other part of your life should be there to pick you up, not the other way around. The other should give energy, not take energy. Somtimes you can change this dynamics through hard work and communication. But to do so, both have to put in the work. Constantly. A relationship is work. How you describe it sounds more as if he makes sure to keep the existing power dynamics where you are weak and he is strong. His strong is not strength, it is weakness in disguise.

    You need to turn to yourself and see where you can find your strength, it is in there with you, you just need to turn to it and turn away from whatever hold he has over you. Reason with your strength independent of his influence. Is this what you want? Do you genuinely feel that you can turn this around? Use your strength and do. 

    In the end EVERYONE should be respected. What about your self-respect? If you were a friend of yours, what advice would you give your friend? Step out of your own shoes and try observe objectivly. 

    Love yourself and make a decision that you can love yourself for having done. 

  20. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    - What matters most is how well you walk through fire. 

    Charles Bukowski, alcoholic, dysfunctional, poet, but that line has some essence to it. The fire is going to be there. Sooner or later. So what matters most is how we handle it. He didn't handle it too well though, but he wrote well.

  21. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    @Aquarius A lot of red flags there IMO. Sounds like he's a lot of talk but few good qualities to follow up.

    Drinking issues is a red flag for sure.

    Having "enemies" is a huge red flag. Online, you get enemies-haters but in real life if you are as good a guy as he seems to have managed to make you believe? Big, red, waving ... flag.

    It don't really sound much like a coincidence that he befriended you on Facebook either, turning out to live on the same street, sounds like a digital stalker :S 

    Or.. ignore flags, he might be the best guy in the world. Do what feels right, live with the consequences.

    A better thing to do might be asking yourself what it is with this guy that you want, trying to look past all the flattery and conforming to your needs. That stuff will more than likely dissipate as time goes by. You might find yourself with just the worse qualities left.

    Is there a need with you that you want him to fulfill? Making you look past/be blind to the red flags. 

  22. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    Of course it's just an empty word, all words are empty, they are nothing by themselves, just grunts, you fill it with meaning and it's all subjective. Without YOUR understanding of what YOU include in the word GOD there is no way to determine whether someone else's word GOD is the same.  EXISTENCE, EVERYTHING, ONE, THE SHABANG or whatever word you would choose to insert here can - and in many cases will mean the exact same thing as GOD does for someone else.

    Trying to align others with your conceptualization is absolutely unnecessary, enforcing words is trivial, having the similar understanding is enough. Having different understandings is fine too. We're disillusioned all of us regardless of what answers we have found for ourselves, through "insights" or psychedelics or adoption of other peoples concepts. Trolling around this is not helpful. Seems like there's a lot of ego at play. It's what impact our "insights" have on the existence that we experience that matter. The rest is still just "not right".

  24. Posted · Edited by Eph75

    To me it makes no sense in being male meaning being the "provider" by default. If the woman makes more money or has strong capital it makes only sense that she takes a higher amount of the costs. 

    Pampering her is a different matter and should be done because you want to, not because some cultural rules says it should be that way and you are looked down upon if not complying. Again, this is from my world perspective, in other places, with other people it is different. That does not mean that I don't do that, but as soon as demands start happening then screw that. 

    We're moving towards a future where genders and gender roles will matter less, some will have a dick, some will have a vag, some side-effects from that fact is obvious, but we're all just human beings in the end and the rest is individual working agreements. Today there is too much focus on the genders. We need no focus on neither gender. Holding on to the notion that the man is the provider and should essentially lay down in a puddle of water and mud so that hid lady can walk over him feels very old school thinking. To me, it is a bit funny that women want shared rights and opportunities but when it comesnto these kind of things, then things should stay olf school. Demanding the best from both worlds but not the not favorable sides.

    Sorry for the somewhat OT rant :D