No friends no meaning

[Patrick Lynam]

is it possible that because i have no friends my life lacks purpose and i have become quite solum/ a victim 

[Preety_India]

 

Be emotionally independent.

Do not seek approval and validation and do not rely on it if you are already getting it. 

Friends or no friends, life must go on, believe and love yourself, hold your head high and find your purpose within you. Create your own journey and leave your mark. 

 

 

Be yourself and be strong 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2019 by Preety_India

[Alissa]

@Patrick Lynam

You don't need friends to have a sense of purpose in your life. Sometimes friendships can be a distraction from doing what you need to be doing . Don't forget that you are your best friend, and the most profound companion you'll ever enjoy is that with yourself, so be kind to yourself and love yourself truly. From that level you'll attract many people to be friends with you. 

And if you're more introverted and lack social skills, then you got to learn the communication skills and be more social, besides you got to give the time and energy required for building high-value, inspiring friendships. 

[Patrick Lynam]

@Joshi3@Alissa @Preety_India  THanks guys youre right i have recently become more conscious of this and how i had been doing self help as a means for validation and the idea of doing self help for my self is strangely unfamiliar haha. Much love <3

[Parththakkar12]

@Patrick Lynam Your life purpose has nothing to do with whether or not you have friends. However, you do need friends and a personal life. Being alone is emotionally unhealthy. Human beings are not emotionally independent, we're emotionally inter-dependent. You have emotional needs like belonging, closeness, self-expression, significance, etc. which you have other people meet for you.

Our cultures tend to be independence-obsessed because of which we tend to glorify the myth that independence is good! This leads to people gaslighting each other into believing that you should be emotionally independent. Its a total myth. Don't buy it!

[28 cm unbuffed]

@Patrick Lynam

Separate yourself from people you don't feel like are bringing any value in your life. 

If you are a good person and you surround yourself with good people, that bring value into your life and vice versa, that's the most beautiful thing.

If you feel drained and doubting yourself and feeling bad about yourself - leave these people, these are energy vampires.

Loving yourself is a key - that way you develop better boundries and you simply do not let shitty people (basically narcissists) into your life, because who would want to get drained and suffer if he had a choice? That's insanity. But that's how this world looks like today and that's fucked up.

We need more good, honest people like you man, good luck!

 

[Eph75]

We can be attached to an idea, e.g. that we need friends in order to be happy, but that is like most any desire, there's always another desire or "thing" that hinder us from becoming "happy". 

It is possible to change your relationship to your emotions in such a way that you detatch from ideas and then realize that happiness, ourpose, direction and so on has nothing to do with extrinsic things but is 100% intrinsic. 

Let go of the idea of needing friends and figure out what is going on inside of you, again, without involving extrinsic factors which we usually turn to in order to avoid responsibility, in forms of justification and/or blaming circumstances or people in our surrounding - or - such extrinsic things lacking in that surrounding. 

The world is in you and only in you, as are the answers. Starting looking in ghe right place AND importantly also looking in the right way without turning it into shame or guilt but always with compassion, understanding and acceptance for the self and the situation you are in.

When acceptance is found, responsibility is absolute and with those two there can be no victim. From there it is much easier to pursue change without attachment to the idea of that thing should be a certain way to be "alright". It is already alright, it is the attachment to the idea that things should be in another way that makes us miserable. 

[Lento]

@Patrick Lynam

A friend, technically speaking, isn't just a human you spend your time with. It's whatever you spend your time on. So, for example, if you spend your time meditating, then you're spending time with yourself, and here you are the friend. If you spend your time reading books, then books are your friend. If you spend your time watching Netflix, then the TV is your friend. And so on.

So, you see, you can't ever be alone. You're always interacting with someone or something. Always giving and receiving. That's what it means to be alive.

And so, back to your question.. To me, it's a bad idea to dismiss the importance of friends just because you can live independently of other people. That's a luxury that we have right now in the 21st century, and that we later pay for with loneliness and depression. We are social creatures. Socializing is like oxygen to us. Friends, mainly depending on you, can create a lot of healthy values to you. It's magical!

Your friends are a reflection of who you are, and you are the reflection of your friends. The good you see in others, is the good that is in yourself.

[turtleneck]

I would say that having friends seems rather important in one's well being, to feel included, to feel appreciated, to take care of, these are not just flat statements, the corresponding experiences make us feel things. Now if among the people you see you don't feel strong chemistry then you should meet other people, you should meet more people until you meet people with who you click with. Not clicking with people is normal, you won't love to hang out with everyone but that does not mean you should stop looking cause whatever anyone says, there is a reason that in prisons, which are filled with criminals, the worst punishment is solitary confinement.