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About Espaim

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  1. It can mean something or mean nothing. People have wacky dreams about lots of shit. Haven't you ever entered a school and shot everyone in your dreams? You're missing so much. Now being serious, if you think you are developing attraction to men: it happens. That may be confusion too. For me, what happens is that the overwhelming amount of sexual and intimate attraction i feel is geared towards women or feminine creatures, idk 😂 I need to admit maybe I've been romantically and sexually attracted to men before but looking back, it was of such low intensity and a fleeting experience. I could even have confused it for anxiety ABOUT being attracted to them(search about Homosexual-OCD). I don't remember enough to have a final word. When I feel attraction to women it's just undeniable. It's polar, magnetic and I just can't lie about it. It's different shit man.
  2. Increased identification= less consciousness Decreased identification = more consciousness As in how Leo defines consciousness. I've been curious about this and I want to know what y'all think.
  3. I wish I had discovered it earlier. This knowledge freed me of lots of normies bullshiting. Actually, I still do their bullshiting but I can excel on it as I don't have the limiting and shitty beliefs they have. When I didn't know i thought the best thing that could happen was total anarcho-capitalism... And before that I thought all people should become christian and all of our problems would be solved. And if you do it right you won't be worried about it all the time.
  4. Fuck you too. Good luck on your journey!
  5. I share it with stage green hippies and above openly(even people I've just met), just jokingly with stage orange friends, with stage red druggies I'm somehow forced to talk to due to living in a third world country, and never with blues. My dad is an exception as he is blue-orange and has tried LSD. It's working.
  6. I've gone down this road of "repression" due to peer pressure. Then did some LSD and mushroom trips digging deep into my past and present without fear... Found nothing, really. It's genuine. Testosterone levels are sky high. I'd say just don't worry about it.
  7. Caffeine helps with your pain and you "automatically" consume it. Have you considered that it could also be causing it? Messing with your sleep and preventing it from being deep, restful and restorative? The high-seeking behavior could be due to the stress it's causing you. Of all the substance addictions, it's the sneakiest. Almost everyone will look over it when searching for problems. Doctors included.
  8. I can relate a lot. The desire to have a girlfriend or sex appears sparingly for me. It's not enough to motivate me to do something. When I see how much work people put into getting laid I'm astonished. I also never understood why people put so much emphasis in being in a relationship/getting laid in everyday life. As an addendum: when I took a supplement that increased libido, doing pickup felt 100% worth it 😂 Maybe just do something similar for a while to see what happens.
  9. I suffered from the same thing. Take a look at my earlier posts on this forum. I eventually recovered my libido and started feeling emotions again! It's possible. If I can say anything it's that it takes time to heal. If you don't give up it'll eventually improve.
  10. Someone deconstructed my libertarian/anarcho-capitalist ideals so well I reevaluated all my worldview. Then found and started reading more spiritual books, caring more about people and relationships... Weed... You know the rest
  11. @WaveInTheOcean I took MDMA one time and it made me smile more. I felt love for everyone in a much stronger intensity but it didn't change my behaviour too much. Does this mean I'm maxed out?
  12. If you actually explained what you mean with some evidence so we could understand it better, you would get better responses. Instead, what we find here is one-liners with generic criticism.