en-el hak

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About en-el hak

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    Istanbul
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  1. @vizual I agree. But that slap was a pure Red act, don't you think? Not a healthy one too.
  2. @roopepa @Random witch @Rilles @Loba @Preety_India @Jacob Morres I sincerely thank every one of you for the replies. It never occurred to me that it could be OCD. Now it seems more solvable. @Jacob Morres I will check them out, cheers man.
  3. @roopepa They are just images. I don't feel any aggression towards these people, not at all.
  4. So, it happens like this. I'm having a conversation with a woman face-to-face. Usually casual, daily conversation. All of a sudden, a scene of me punching her in the face appears in my head. Then I can't concentrate on what she's saying for some seconds. I feel a little disturbed for having a thought like this. Then everything goes back to normal. First of all, I would never ever hit a woman. I'd rather hurt myself than hurt someone else. These women are not close to me, some of them are from work, some of them are just people I know, or recently met. Having thoughts (or instincts) like these creates a huge contradiction with my principles and values. Therefore I feel confused and ashamed afterward. Yesterday I opened up this issue with my therapist. She just took some notes, probably she will dissect this issue. I have some traumas from the past. I witnessed my father beating up my mother many times. He also beat me a few times. I used to beat up my little sister a lot when we were kids. But linking these violent instincts to these traumas seems like a victim mentality to me. Whatever happened, happened. I'm also eager to look at this issue from a spiritual point of view. I wonder how to get rid of the negative thoughts for good. Or how to make peace with the 'redness' inside of me. Is shadow work a must?
  5. I was planning to post about metamodernism on the "Society, Environment..." section first. However, this guy opened a new perspective by combining metamodernism with spirituality. He edited four books last month, and this is the promo video. I'll post my opinions after reading any of these books.
  6. https://youtu.be/KM23kl0TExw
  7. Earthlings, maybe? https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0358456/
  8. Chris Ware - Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth David Mazzucchelli - Asterios Polyp Charles Burns - Black Hole
  9. Rupert Spira uploaded a video about this issue yesterday but today it's gone. I wonder if he deleted it or it was banned?
  10. I highly recommend Ensō meditation app. It has the same bell sound. https://apps.apple.com/app/ensō-meditation-timer-bell/id840637879