Ellenier

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About Ellenier

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  1. It truly is beautiful. B/c there's an imagination of this post by Inliytened within my imagination of being the human Ellenier. But since imagination is not bounded (imagination doesn't end with death, death is rather only one thing I am imagining) "my" essence of being is free to imagine everything, infinite possibilities and infinite lives. Therefore it's also able to imagine every human possible. So this very same essence will also live through the life of Inliytened for which Ellenier is nothing but imagination. Then our essence is literally identical, they're not "two essences" separate from each other, but ONE. Then we are not separated by space, but by the now (... and therefore we aren't separated at all lol). We're infinitely apart but still connected. And at the same time we're just imagination to begin with. Just as everything and everyone else is too. So isn't this true solipsism but at the same time on a weird, coincidental way no-solipsism as well? It feels like both for me. Like both options Leo gave simultaneously. How could it be only one?
  2. the yopo seeds I bought were definitely not worth a try. You should better grow little plants from them for having a nice jungle ambiente. I havent extracted the 5-MeO from them but I think it is less than 5% or even just 2-3%. If you live in Europe, a trip to the Netherlands is more worth it
  3. Hey guys! So after the police visit a couple of weeks ago I have died with just 18mg freebase (= ~21mg HCl) yesterday night for the second time (after last time I needed 37mg). I am pretty sure that you can decrease the amount with every "death" you experience to a point where you stay in that neither-dead-nor-alive state of being. I am pretty sure that you can make it to permanent liberation or enlightenment as Martin Ball would call it. Do you have any experience with that? If you have died enough, you should definitely stay in that state. And I also doubt that many years of meditation can do what one "deathly" dose of 5-MeO will do for you. I dont understand why people think, you cannot become enlightened with psychedelics. Its a pretty clear path I would say. Kill yourself over and over again until you dont need any more of the substance to do it for you. I mean you are already dead...
  4. Thank you very much for your "hints" I guess I have just looked at this issue from a perspective that does include a "me". I think if I realize that I was never born, how could I ever die then? Will definitely contemplate on that.
  5. Hey even after tripping 5-MeO a couple of times and having had a breakthrough, my mind still cant answer the question (and I guess the mind is the problem): What happens "after" your body has died? Does your higher self enjoy being this nothingness until it starts to dream again? What role does enlightenment play in this game? Does enlightenment only help you in this life to overcome suffering? Where and what is this "place" that enlightened beings such as the buddha reach, when they have achieved enlightenment and union with the one Being and dissolve in the here and now? I often conceptualize it as the singularity of Being that I have experienced during trips and that is prior to any manifestation so it rests in peace forever. But I dont really get it... Maybe its just me as the ego still has hope of surviving death and reaching heaven in the future. I feel like this question hasnt really been answered for myself. Because somehow it seems like this whole enlightenment liberation stuff just helps you in this life and when you have attained it and reached the "highest realization" you just throw yourself back into mundane life and suffering again and again. Doesnt make sense to me. Hope you can give me kind of a concept or insights that you have had so that this gets at least a little bit clearer to me...
  6. @axwell Be careful! You need an acid that is riskless for consumption or at least without any impurities/additional substances that are being used for cleaning purposes!
  7. @axwell is it from a bottle? is it for consumption use? maybe you need more drops since it is less concentrated
  8. @axwell ...if you can find some oxalic acid anywhere, then yes. You should make a liquid out of it.
  9. @axwell Okay, so with using vinegar you DONT produce HCl!!! You can make a salt out of the freebase that is called acetate. The acetate can be used for the same purposes the HCl salt is good for: Snorting or plugging. 1. First of all you want to know how much HCl equivalent acetate you need. That goes like Freebase [g] x 1,167 = HCl equivalent mass [g]. So for instance if you want to plug 15mg of HCl and all you have is the freebase you use that equation above with a little algebra like: 15mg / 1,167 = 12,85mg. Which means you need ~13mg of freebase converted into a salt to produce "the same" effects as if you directly plug 15mg of HCl because the freebase molecules are not as heavy as the HCl ones. 2. It doesnt matter at all that you dont produce HCl with this reaction for the equation to still be right. But: Of course the Acetate will be even heavier than the freebase and the HCl: Freebase x 1,167 = HCl and Freebase x 1,27 = Acetate. So dont be surprised that you might end up with almost 16,3mg of 5-Meo-DMT-Acetate when you just wanted to plug 15mg of HCl and even used 13mg of freebase. It is the same amount of molecules and hence equals the same dosage. 3. You put the amount of the substance that you weighed out on a spoon and fill a needleless syringe with less than 1ml of vinegar (25% acetic acid; it is called "Essig Essenz" here in Germany and is used to clean pipes or old coins or whatever... Im sure you can buy it in every supermarket) 4. Five to ten drops of vinegar should be enough. You have to drop them onto the substance on the spoon. The substance should solve in the same way as the HCl usually solves in water. If you have a clear and transparent solution, ideally all the freebase molecules have successfully reacted with the acid in the vinegar and now have formed 5-MeO-DMT-Acetate 5. You dont have to worry that the excess acid might damage your butt because you just used 10 drops of it. And you dont really need to calculate the needed volume of acetic acid with any stochiometry. I mean you can but that is rather an issue if you want to snort it 6. You clean the syringe you had just used the vinegar with. Now fill it with about 1ml of water which you can put onto the spoon with the 5-MeO-DMT-Acetate you just made. 7. Stir well and soak the whole solution up the syringe and it is ready for plugging. (8. I havent tried it personally, but you should also be able to let the excess water evaporate if you want to snort it. Then you should of course skip step 6 and use the vinegar very sparingly...) Hope this will help you
  10. No didn't burn at all, it felt just like the HCl. If you drop vinegar on the freebase you can see the tiny particles slowly solving in it forming the salt solution. Since it's 25% I only needed a few droplets to solve all LeO and because 5-MeO is a weak base and acetic acid being a relatively weak acid I'd say it should be a quite neutral solution - if you don't add excess vinegar, just enough to solve everything of course.
  11. @peanutspathtotruth For your first time you should always have someone with you who wont freak out. He has the responsibility to call the ambulance when the situation gets totally out of control. So basically yeah, you should have no other people around you. So living in a big city, it could be a problem. But if you start with a relatively low dose, you will still have some control Actually, I dont remember screaming at all. I was told that I "fainted" for about a minute or so. So that dose was definitely the end of my bodys capacity to handle the substance. I wasnt in control of screaming or not. I simply dont remember it. For me that minute doesnt even exist. It is as if I had tripped permanently without any gaps. @Leo Gura Unlike concentrated lime juice, concentrated vinegar (~25%) works. I filled the syringe with about 1 ml of vinegar and just tried drop after drop. Then it solves as nicely as if you put water on HCl. The solution becomes very clear and has no colour. So I do it directly before administration. But I assume if you let the rest of the liquid evaporate, you can still store the acetate solid form quite nicely. I think the salt forms are best for storage (in the freezer).
  12. Okay so I tried to make an acetate out of it and it literally kicks you in your ass...unlike the citrate I tried to make before The come up was within maybe one minute. I have no hereditary resistance whatsoever xD. My mind just always tried to grasp it afterwards and couldnt make sense of it. Now I have such a vivid memory of the trip and my boyfriend smiling at me while I was high standing right in front of me, that he gives me Shaktipat every time I look deeply into his eyes or just think of the experience looking at him. It is like something died that night. The side of my ego that commented almost every thing I did in a bad way. I wasnt afraid at all. I dunno if I had been in such a deep depression before, that everything could just become better but my ego simply just gave up without even a try. It was 32mg of freebase mixed with concentrated vinegar, so it was about 32mg x 1,167 (the quotient of the molecular weight of HCl/freebase; please correct me if that is wrong), which means 37,4 mg of HCl "equivalent" Acetate and I had like a million insights which were just one. Has anyone of you experienced this "central" duality of everything, kind of embodied in two people? I was like "Yeah of course, everything is about my boyfriend and me". I mean it wasnt about the two characters we usually play. But that smile of him knowing what I felt at that moment, just being like Yin and Yang...the one dividing itself first into two to love each other and then into millions and millions. It felt like I was Yin and Yang which had been orbiting each other for eons and will continue to do so. They will collapse into one and divide into two again and again. And when I got back from it, it was like a "shadow existence" as I would call it. I was sitting on my bed and I wouldnt have been surprised if I had seen my body still lying there dead. Neither life nor death does exist. It is neither real nor unreal. It is the grey endless space between and all around the black and white we consider the life-death duality to be when we are in our normal "unconscious" state... The afterglow was and still is astonishing. Everytime I go through the experience in my mind as vividly as possible I feel and see the distortions of reality in direct experience as if I am still tripping. Even imagination and thought is in a deep sense the same as direct experience I would say. Even that duality collapsed. My mind at the moment isnt in total silence as it has once been after I had tried 5-LeO for the first time. But thats fine. Because back then it was like an unstable state where I had to "defend" the void in my head with my awareness and I didnt succeed in this "fight" for a long time. Maybe for two days before I fell back to normal. Now the void reappears not only in my head but everywhere around filling my life with peace and a deep joy. I hope this will last. Otherwise I still have 10 grams of 5-LeO for the rest of this life Had to share this experience and a few of these insights with you. May you be well on your journey! P.S: Please always trip in a place where noone but your sitter will hear you. I was shouting so loud during the trip that my neighbors called the police because they thought someone was going to be killed in my house. And then I had to explain to the officers that I had had an "epileptical seizure" with uncontrolled cramps or something... You dont want anyone to call the ambulance and then have to explain yourself I assume ^^
  13. @outlandish It's from the same guys I've got the HCl beforehand, and they're reliable. They would have a reputation to lose since they own the only smartshop in that area. I assume it is freebase because the times before the HCl was nicely soluble in water whereas this time it was almost swimming on top even after stirring and little particles remained. Actually my friend only needs 16mg for a deep trip with a glimpse of the infinite, so I don't think the 5-MeO is weak, it also looks quite, well, pure (concerning HCl). Maybe it's a conversion error, but then I wonder why? Im on no meds, depression is purely self-diagnosed right now. So no SSRIs nor MAOIs
  14. @outlandish I plug it always the same way with my bowels empty and it already worked for HCl and for 2C-E that way. Somehow I still didn't get a breakthrough dose after about 10 LeO-Trips with increasing dosage. Relative to my other trips the 5-LeO citrate trip was quite weak. 2c-e on the other hand worked quite well for me. @Serotoninluv Until now Ive just plugged it, as Leo advised. It comes on smoothlly and is, besides not giving me a deep awakening, a blissful experience. Never tried vaping but it's worth trying in the future I guess. How do you vape 5-MeO? Never vaped anything so I'm a bit clueless. Btw. does suffering from depression have an impact on the quality of the trip?
  15. Hey guys, A friend of mine and I are lucky to have access to a reliable source for the substance and now bought enough of it for "the rest of our lives" When we bought smaller amounts of 5-LeO before, it had always been HCl but this time (even though the vendor told us it was HCl) it seems to be the freebase. Having noticed that by trying to solve it in water as usual, I tried solving it with a bit of concentrated lime juice in hope of acquiring a citrate. When I plugged the solution I almost felt nothing in the first 10-15 minutes. After that I had like "medium" effects for about 1,5-2 hours. When I recently took the HCl salt it had always lasted for only about 40-50 mins, last time for about an hour. So I have two questions: 1. Do you have any experience with the citrate? Does the citrate show similar results compared to the HCl or is it normal to be absorbed slowly (which could explain the long duration with medium effects in this trip)? 2. Is it possible for some people that even if they take 32 milligrams like I did, they dont feel like dying on that trip? It has always just been a purely blissful experience for me. I never felt any anxiety. I didnt feel like dying, because It was like the thing to die never existed in the first place. Thats how "I" made sense of it. And I think I already experienced a kind of ego death like being the whole "outside" world as I normally experience it. And it is actually looking at itself from the "outside". But I never felt anxious or afraid...like I thought I would be. I have expected that I didnt take enough 5-MeO but dont want to increase the dosage further than 32 milligrams Hope You'll have a few answers for me