ivory
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Posts posted by ivory
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Don't listen to the nay sayers in this thread. I do solo camping all the time. IMO it's the best solo retreat you can do. I prefer to find a secluded spot where I'm shielded from others behind trees and bushes and such. Create a meditation schedule and stick to it. Also include mindfulness walks in that schedule. Learn to meditate while walking and sitting. I find that four hours of silence a day is plenty. Bring HEALTHY food and cook your meals. Flush your body of toxins. Also, make some time for enjoyment. Have some books or podcasts on hand, make some art, or do some journaling. Retreats don't have to be ascetic in nature so make some time for enjoyment. Silence deepens when you are enjoying life, the same goes for a retreat. Don't be afraid to socialize a little with the neighbors. Oh, and four days is perfect. Retreats typically take about three days to settle in. By the fourth day you meditation should be very deep and very pleasant.
In summary, stick to a schedule and plan to fill your day with meditation, walks in nature, enjoyment, and healthy activities. Your practice will deepen and you will have insights galore.
Enjoy
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On 8/15/2020 at 9:48 AM, Johnny5 said:You will die for sure.
This made me lol
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I get what you are saying by, "There's no such thing as a right answer," and I agree that we are all biased to a degree. However, the more conscious you become the more you care and want to give. Certain candidates are better because they are more conscious and because they want what's good for the whole. Not caring for the wellbeing of others is insanity.
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12 hours ago, khalifa said:I don't meditate it freaks me out.
You will remain stuck until you face your fears. Once you start down the rabbit hole there's only one way to go.
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Find some green friends. That's about as good as you can get. And there are plenty of them. Find places to live that are known to be more liberal. I personally look for people who like being out in nature, artists, yogis, meditators, travelers, etc.
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@Leo Gura That's not good to hear. Is it a matter of purity?
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I finally got my hands on some 5meo. It almost look like brown sugar, but a little bit lighter in color. Is that to be expected?
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18 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:Of course, a narcissist isn't necessarily all red. What I was implying is that the narcissistic part of a person = the redness inside him.
I think you would find the narcissistic qualities on both the orange and red side of things.
18 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:I sincerely hope you have people in your life that are more developed than THAT. Best wishes ?
I'm happy to have this guy out of my life now. In the end I learned a lot, so I'm stoked. The rest of my friends are super great. I'm very blessed to have them.
Cheers
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On 7/22/2020 at 2:58 AM, Cykaaaa said:Do you think there's a strong correlation between narcissism/psychopathy and stage red?
I have a mother who is a narcissist and just ended a friendship with another. That said, I have known two. There were some commonalities but both of them exhibited different flavors of narcissism. In fact, it was really interesting to see how much they differed.
First let's look at the DSM V. A narcissist is a person that possesses at least 5 of the following 9 qualities:
- A grandiose logic of self-importance
- A fixation with fantasies of infinite success, control, brilliance, beauty, or idyllic love
- A credence that he or she is extraordinary and exceptional and can only be understood by, or should connect with, other extraordinary or important people or institutions
- A desire for unwarranted admiration
- A sense of entitlement
- Interpersonally oppressive behavior
- No form of empathy
- Resentment of others or a conviction that others are resentful of him or her
- A display of egotistical and conceited behaviors or attitudes
A narcissist isn't necessarily all red. But likely a combination of red, blue, and orange. Take a look at the above list and compare that to what you'll find at each stage in the spiral.
As for my mother here are some interesting qualities: Has a need to control everyone, bosses people around, will call people names, believes people are put on earth to serve her, fearlessly confrontational, denies science (climate change, corona virus, doctor's advice, etc), believes she is always right and no one else knows what they're talking about, is the CEO of a company which she loves more than her family, her employees despise her because she's a nutcase, believes in the law of attraction (oddly), is overweight but wishes she was skinny (eats like shit and complains how hot she gets when and if she exercises), expects everything now now now (very little patience), extremely sensitive, lacks understanding, Trump supporter (seems to admire other Narcissists), has a toxic relationship with her husband, has no friends, cares about her kids to some degree but will lash out if her ideas are challenged.
My friend exhibited the following qualities: A need to show people how strong and powerful he is, talks about how great he is constantly, isn't really all that great at anything or worthy of admiration at all, obsesses about masculinity, obsesses about morality (go figure), "devout Christian" (but also acknowledges Buddhism and Hinduism - he's a very strange character), has a savior complex (believes he was put on earth some godly purpose), highly opinionated despite having any actual knowledge about anything, extremely close-minded, very health conscious (eats a strict vegetarian diet, works out, etc), is saving himself for marriage (not a virgin but hasn't been with a girl in 8 years), highly skilled with the tongue (quite charming and charismatic), extremely judgmental of others, puts others down and talks himself up, admires Connor McGregor and Trump (which I recently discovered), a lone wolf.
I have yet to end my relationship with my mother but I will no longer be visiting her for the holidays. Sometimes I enjoy conversations with her on the phone but in person she's an absolute nightmare to be around. I may end up breaking ties altogether.
I just ended my friendship with the other guy. When I told him I didn't want to be friends with him anymore he told me that the devil was inside of me, called me a hypocrite, then tried to manipulate me into accepting Christ as Lord. LOL.
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I'm not sure how common this is but I recently discovered a therapist who incorporates SD into her therapy. Check out the article: Here
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On 6/2/2020 at 3:20 AM, Dutch guy said:Stop hurting eachother.
No one is disagreeing with you here.
On 6/2/2020 at 3:20 AM, Dutch guy said:#allLivesMatter
Nor are they disagreeing with you here ^^^
How about some understanding? The black people of today cry for equality and want their feelings to be validated. I see hurt and anger and I think we owe it to them to show our support. Black lives do matter and this is a time open our arms to them.
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Riots are a terrible way of dealing with tragedies like the George Floyd incident. Looting and rioting will only further divide the nation. Nothing says, "We are a bunch of thugs," like rioting and looting. Fire will be met with fire. A lot of protesters know this and there are a lot of peaceful demonstrations. As for the actual rioters and looters I think they are taking advantage of a situation where society and store owners are in a vulnerable position. They know they can get away with it so they do it. They are acting out of selfishness, rather than promoting equality. I'm glad that people are coming together and protesting, it's time for change and the protests are illuminating the problem and drawing lots of attention. Good will come of the situation but there will be those whose hatred grows as they see violent and reactive behavior. It is time to come together and unite, not divide and destroy trust.
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1 hour ago, Preety_India said:So even if that joke gets re-elected, the stormy weather will last only for 4 more years, no more after that.
But think about what the rest of the world will think of the US. The US is the laughing stock right now and I'm not sure they understand how unpopular Trump is with the American people. It's going to take us a long time to undo the damage he has done and gain at least a little respect on the political stage. I sincerely hope that the American people show up at the polls this time. That is our only hope of beating Trump.
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Aw man, I read this book a few years ago. Gonna have to give this a listen.
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Sounds like he really needs to work on self-acceptance. IMO, it's one of the most challenging aspects of self-development. Judgements seem real. I personally did therapy for a couple of years. I have no idea how I would have accomplished what I have on my own. I was riddled with self-judgement but my therapist was constantly reassuring me that nothing was wrong with me. In the end I came to see my true self-worth. I am a huge proponent of therapy, especially when one starts down this path.
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@Orchid I don't think you need a lofty response. I'd keep it short and sweet. Let others know you're not going to get sucked into an argument and that you're not going to let them shame you. While I do believe that people "should" have some political views or some knowledge of what's going on I also realize that everyone has a different set of values. What I mean is that you decide what's important to you and no-one else can tell you what you should or should not be doing. I used to have no interest in politics so I can empathize with what you are saying. I have two favorite lines I use when people give me lip. "I'm not going to argue with you," and "I don't need your judgement." End of story.
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I've had similar thoughts. But after thinking about it a while I realized that protests raise awareness. You can bet that people aren't going to be forgetting about George Floyd anytime soon and I'm willing to bet that cops are going to be more cautious. Like you said, it's not getting to the root of the problem but changes do take place.
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@EntheogenTruthSeeker Good on you for recognizing your limitations. Be strong and keep fighting the good fight.
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@EntheogenTruthSeeker Just curious, how well do you take care of your health and how easy is it for you to tell when a mania is coming on? I too am bipolar and can understand the frustration of manias and taking meds. However, I am able to take psychedelics without too much harm being done. I recently learned, though, that I can't do them that often. It triggers some pretty nasty stuff. I have found that LSD is much kinder than mushrooms. Mushrooms affect my mind in a way that LSD does not. The other thing I learned is to start tripping in the morning so I can get a good night's rest at the end of the day.
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I don't normally write long posts but this question is true to my heart.
The important thing to know is that almost all of this stuff comes as you progress though life with awareness and diligent (but gentle) practice. All of these things are life long endeavors. You will always be improving whether you realize it or not. You will always have something to work on. But also realize that change is a slow process. Be patient, but be consistent.
The other important point I want to make is that external circumstances are always changing. You don't always get to choose what you want to work on. There are times when you will be alone and you'll have to exercise independence of thought, there are times where your job will demand all of your time and focus, there are times where you will be in love with another, there are times where where you'll be surrounded by people you don't like and have to practice acceptance and open-mindedness. Growth is not linear.
The last point I want to make is to use your time wisely. Don't waste it. Follow your passions and keep developing yourself. Your free time should be valued more than gold.
Now to address some of the ares of growth you mentioned...
Creativity
Creativity starts to flow the more you take care of your health and expose yourself to new things and places. Exercise, meditate, travel, explore, hang out with interesting people. Stay away from too much TV, surfing the web, and other junk entertainment. That shit will kill your creativity.
Love
Love comes with time. Be aware of your judgements and try not to entertain them so much. You are on your own unique path, and so are others. Once you come to realize that change in yourself comes slowly and gradually you aren't so quick to judge others because you understand the same is true for them. Understanding spiral dynamics at least on a basic level will help you out here.
Independence of Thought
Make your own decisions, take calculated risks, and give yourself the freedom to make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and failures and don't be hard on yourself.
Clarity of Thought
Meditate, exercise, eat healthy, and get plenty of rest.
Life Long Learning
Always have a book on hand and surround yourself with intelligent people. Get help when you need it whether it be a spiritual teacher or a therapist.
Authenticity
Don't try so hard for the acceptance of others. Figure out who you are and surround yourself with like minded people. Not everyone will like you, nor will you like everyone else. You need to be the selector, decide who you want to have in your life. Speak your mind and be yourself unapologetically.
Radical Open-mindedness
This comes with time and a true spiritual practice. If you are really on the ball, you are questioning your thoughts, beliefs, and world views. Over time you come to realize that everything you think you know was programmed into your brain and almost none of it is verifiable. The reality is that you know very little for certain. Nor does anyone else. The more you realize how little you know the more open minded you become. In short, opinions and judgements are garbage. None of that shit is true, you know nothing.
Fearlessness
This is a life-long endeavor. You will always have fear and many fears may never go away. The important thing is that you really, really know yourself. Know all of your fears and start opening up to them as challenges are presented to you. Don't be in such a hurry to get rid of fear, courage is a life-long practice.
Introspection
Keep doing what you're doing. Over time introspection becomes a part of who you are. Initially, though, you will go through periods of confusion and doubt, wondering if you're doing this right. Sometimes you will be, and sometimes you'll be way off course. But, if you're starting at 20, by the time you are 30 you will be wise beyond your years. The mantra is "JUST KEEP GOING"
Questioning
Introspection and questioning are sort of the same thing. Just remain curious and you can't go wrong.
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4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:Meditation 30 minutes a day won´t go it. 1 hour of meditation half a sleep won´t do it either.
Stike for at least 3 hours of intense Pranayama/Yoga/meditation a day.
Where do you get these numbers from? Right now I do 1.5 hours a day.
4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:Consider psychedelic regularly if you can´t keep with this schedule.
Oh yeah, I do psychedelics quite regularly. At least every 2 weeks.
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@Identity Maybe you don't need to trip. If you don't want to do it, then don't. If you do, then to it. Learn to trust your higher guidance.
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@Rilles I do things that bring me joy. Where I struggle, though, is taking care of my health. I feel good when I do it but I have a tendency to get lazy. Sometimes I forget that.
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16 hours ago, Javfly33 said:What is currently your practice? The benefits of the practice itself should be enough to "motivate" you to keep going. If not you either not practicing enough or not the right things
Man, I've been practicing for quite a while. And what I've learned is that if you do it long enough, you end up hitting dry spots where your motivation runs dry. It's just something that happens. Part of the work is to just keep going. If you're paying attention to life, you notice that the same thing happens in other areas.
15 hours ago, Rilles said:Have you ever had any breakthroughs in your practice that gave you any type of bliss?
Oh yeah, but like all things, bliss doesn't last. I welcome it, but don't strive for it.
13 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:I also wanted to add this doesn't mean you shouldn't meditate / do yoga etc, Francis is merely saying in terms of awakening and realizing the true nature of your being it should be done from a joyful place, not a repetitive boring one.
Thanks! I agree. Then again, life is ups and downs. I don't think we are meant to be joyous all the time. Good stuff man.
in Personal Development -- [Main]
Posted
I used to be so shy that I would sweat and my voice would tremble. I'm am much, much less shy now. The only way to conquer your anxiety is to continually expose yourself to the things that cause you anxiety.