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Everything posted by ivory

  1. Ok but did the scandinavian countries skip over orange? Like Roy said, progress isn't always linear. I personally think that the transcendence of some stages are messier than others. If you are firmly rooted in orange, brace for impact. The other thing to consider is that the US is so much larger and divided than these other countries. Comparing the US to them is like comparing apples to oranges. Lots of factors come into play here.
  2. I'm going to make adapt and take up some new hobbies. In addition to my meditation routine I'm going to take up yoga and write poetry!
  3. I think there is some truth to this and is also one of the ideas I've been playing around with. The thing is that people panic when change happens so quickly and immediately try to go back to something that's more familiar. Backlash if you will. However, the other thing to consider is that people DO adapt to change. Sometimes you have to be exposed to a better way of life before you actually realize that there is another way. I remember moving to Portland Oregon as a conservative and it was very challenging for the first two years. Three and a half years in I ended up moving to a more conservative city. Holy shit! I didn't realize in that 3.5 years time that I had become a liberal. I now live in Southern California which some may consider green, but I can assure you, I am surrounded by a lot of conservative folk. There are only pockets of green. For real change to occur people are either going to have to experience a crisis on a major scale to realize the limitations of their current value system OR they are going to have to be exposed to a different way of life for an extended period of time so they can acclimate. Once you get a taste of the good life it's hard to go back to the way things were. The challenge we face here in the states is that we're so divided as a nation. We have completely opposing political parties and it's become very difficult for us to get anything done. We've seen this with Trump and the wall. We've seen this with the impeachment. We would surely see this with someone like Bernie. I think what we need is someone who can unite the people. I'm not sure exactly what that would take but maybe it would take someone more middle-of-the-road. I may take some heat for saying this but I would love to hear what some of you guys think.
  4. Interesting, I was just talking to my roommate about this a few minutes ago. This is a time when people are going to have to reassess what's really important. I've been saying this for quite some time, but real change often requires a crisis.
  5. @lostmedstudent That's not what I gathered from this thread. Life has no inherent meaning, and although that may sound nihilistic it's actually very freeing. No outside source can tell you how you should live your life. You don't have to be a certain way or live to anyone else's standards. That said, life is only worth living if you live in such a way that matters to you. So, one could say, life is radically important.
  6. Hey Matt, I've only been doing research into the career so far. I already have a bachelor's degree in computer science but I'm really sick of writing software for a living. Right now I'm trying to figure out if I need a second bachelor's degree in psychology before embarking on the journey towards a PhD. What did you like about the research that you did?
  7. It's been a long hard path deciding what I want to do for my next career. I've lost interest in computer programming but have a strong interest in psychology. I don't think I want to be a therapist but I think I would love doing research. I know that it comes with a set of challenges and it's not going to be all peaches and cream. But I can't think of anything else I want to do. There are numerous possibilities. Like, study the affects of meditation or psychedelics on mental health. Or maybe even challenge the status quo. In psychiatry there's a tendency to over prescribe when simple remedies or behavioral change might do the trick. I can think of a number of things that interest me. Is there anyone here that's been down this road? Right now I'm just gathering data to see if this is the path I really want to go down. I'd love to have your input.
  8. I went through this a couple years ago. Fear of no-self. Fear of nothing existing. Etc. It passes. The best thing you can do is not resist it. After a while you see that the mind is just playing tricks on you and there's nothing to be afraid of.
  9. Find stage green friends. They are loving and accepting which is exactly what you need. Best places to find them: Do some volunteer work. Use meetup.com. Go to a local meditation center (zen or whatever). My last piece of advice is don't bounce around from one place to the next. Find a few communities you can join and stay put. It takes time for people to get to know and accept others. A sense of familiarity is paramount in making new friends. By the way, which city do you live in?
  10. You are on the right track. You just need to trust your instinct. I have a tendency to be hard on myself and push myself to perfection. Now I have a habit of sitting down every morning and asking, "How can I be good to myself today?" I'll write down 1-3 things and do that. But, I make sure that it comes from the heart. Typically it comes in some form of responsibility (taking care of my life) or taking care of my health. You may want to check out Sharon Salzberg. She's the queen of self-compassion and loving kindness meditations.
  11. No but I can say from experience. If you're not building one habit at a time you're doing too much. I can see the value in an accountability partner but they're not going to be there for you forever. It's important to find a pace that's not too quick, but at the same time is also firm. Give up one unhealthy habit at a time. After one or two years you should be solid.
  12. You might find some luck here: https://www.dharmaoverground.org/dharma-wiki/-/wiki/Main/FrontPage#section-FrontPage-Retreat+Centers+and+Places+to+Practice
  13. The fear will pass. But speaking from experience, it won't go away until you face it.
  14. I think you're psyching yourself out a bit. You're not necessarily going to have a bad trip. If you did three grams of shrooms you might though Stick to a low dose. For your first time don't do more than 1.5 grams of mushrooms or more than 100ug of LSD. I don't think you need a trip sitter. It surely doesn't hurt but but you're not going to go crazy on the doses I'm suggesting.
  15. @TamaraD What have you tried so far? I'd start by telling them how I felt and what I wanted. If they weren't willing to talk I'd tell them that I'd be patient and wait until the time is right.
  16. I'm a recovering nice guy. I used to never get girls or get laid. I tried many things to try and attract women, including trying to be tough, cool, a dick, etc. I became quite successful but realized that it was all a front and wasn't sustainable to uphold a false appearance. So I started being myself (I know it sounds cliche). What I learned is that you can be kind and still attract women. The key is honest, direct expression and non-neediness. Women are attracted to honesty and guys who live with integrity and authenticity. This book is a great place to start on an authentic journey to improving skills with women: Models
  17. @ardacigin Cool post. Just out of curiosity how much formal practice do you do daily? Also, do you make time for friends, hobbies, exercise and the like?
  18. If I had to pick two practices to maintain for the rest of my life I'd pick breathing exercises and going on daily walks. In learning to breathe properly a good majority of thinking is reduced. If I had to estimate, I would say that 2/3 of my thinking ceases when I am practicing regularly. Imagine being 66% less stressed out. Also, breathing reduces the intensity of emotion making it much more bearable. Sometimes, difficult emotions even have a "feel good" quality. I do also do a 45 minute brisk walk to get my endorphins flowing. With a daily practice I tend to be much happier even when I'm not doing anything in particular. I used to run, which was even better, but after so many injuries I decided to take things down a notch. Walking is at least sustainable.
  19. Once embarking on the self-development journey you come to realize that most people are lame. Why develop social skills just to get validation from lame folks. For me, green and above are the only ones I like to spend time with and I find it very natural. So when I say find people who are like you, I mean exactly that. Real friendships are formed when you share a common set of values. No effort is required because there's already common ground. My advice to anyone on this forum would be that. Find people who reside in green territory, it may take a while but it's totally worth it. Start there and see if you still want to develop your skills.
  20. Often if you're lazy it'll creep into every other area of your life. Are you doing what needs to get done. Do you have a strong, routine spiritual practice?
  21. For what it's worth, you remind me of myself 8 years ago. Basically what I learned is this. Be responsible and take calculated risks.
  22. Relationships are the most important thing we can have in life. But it's important to be authentic. By that I mean you're not going to be friends with everybody. When people try to sell social skills it reeks of inauthenticity. Find the people who are like you and that share the same values. When you find your people no effort is required.
  23. With roommates you get to develop interpersonal and conflict resolution skills not to mention work on a whole host of other fears. IMO, living with others fosters the most growth. Sometimes we crave long periods of solitude though, in which living alone would make the most sense. As long as you're not avoiding something, it doesn't matter what you do.