Oeaohoo

It’s not even an experience!

On some level. I suppose any defence one sets up is for one’s own benefit, at least initially, as a way to cope with a situation which would otherwise be unbearable. The trouble is that, like @theleelajoker said, it then becomes an internalised self-narrative which one feels a need to sustain, regardless of whether it is true. In my case, at least in the past, it has proved to be a toxic combination: I reject and chase after all the people I shouldn’t. This is a recipe for bitterness and dissatisfaction. Maybe one day my mentality will catch up with my biology! In the meantime, these are the riches of the poor…

A combination of mother issues and rejection in early life. It’s interesting you ask these questions. Earlier today I was discussing my broken psychology with ChatGPT and it went down a similar line. Firstly: Secondly:

I think that one also builds an identity around the traumatised part of oneself. The ego seeks to defend itself, even - especially - if it is broken.

Interesting, thanks.

I wonder if it works like this… Is it a mountain that you gradually climb up or is it something like a sudden rupture of levels? The teaching that the True Self is never revealed and therefore anterior to all of creation implies a disjuncture between any action one might take to raise one’s consciousness and the ultimate objective of Self-Realisation. Interesting.

We are all like the dreamer, who dreams and then lives inside the dream… But who is the dreamer?

Whenever I listen to or read discourse about dating, relationships and sexuality, I get triggered because it evokes all of my own unsatisfied desires. So many years of loneliness and misery build up a lot of resentment. Ironically, this keeps me from having a relationship because, as soon as I get the chance, the wounded part of me relishes the opportunity to reject someone else and get revenge. Not sure why I shared this, maybe somebody here can relate to it…

I don’t buy the genetic explanation. It must have been accumulated karma from past lives. People who are into psychedelics prefer the genetic explanation because they have come to associate Awakening with a chemical process. The True Self is chemical, not chemical, chemical and not chemical and neither chemical nor not chemical! I think there’s a difference between awakening and embodiment of that state. After all, the True Self is the True Self, is it not?

Here I am, baby.

As the Satanic reign of Trump and Israel commence World War Three, here is a poem dedicated to the secret blessings promised by nuclear Armageddon:

A relevant quotation from the essay I linked above:

This reminds me of John Lennon’s song God: It’s a shame he swapped Yoko for some “cute girls” on Epstein Island.

What about harmony? I have always had an unhealthy obsession with harmony over everything else, to the detriment of my musical ability.