Etherial Cat

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Posts posted by Etherial Cat

  2. Posted

    @Ulax

    That's because you believe you need to accumulate social "proof of worth" in order to become loveable.

    Nothing is ever enough, nor will be ever enough. It will just cause you restlessness, and if you succeed an ego inflation. Because what you have done is that you are delegating your love authority outwards. And it's pretty normal, because this is how we all grow up.

    Real love is to be found within. It's available now and it is unconditional. 

    I have this theory that the more one find itself unloveable, the less it is capable of finding the present moment bearable. And all goals and tasks are completed hastily because the mind is always searching fulfillement and the affection somewhere in the future. And the present moment becomes an obstacle towards the love we are searching.

    Now, it doesn't mean you should stop achieving. But you should be mindful of the shadow motivations behind all the actions you take.

  3. Posted

    @Raphael

    15 hours ago, Raphael said:

    @Etherial Cat

    C'est plus compliqué en pratique et ces 4 dernières années ont été très difficiles pour moi. J'ai fait de mon mieux pour garder une attitude décente extérieurement bien que j'étais assez instable intérieurement.

    Les choses ont commencé à dégringoler pour moi au cours de ces six derniers mois en particulier durant ces deux derniers mois car ma situation professionnelle est en train de changer. J'ai par exemple très peu médité au cours des 3 derniers mois et arrêté de consommer du contenu de développement personnel, toute ma structure est en train de changer.

    Ce que je voulais dire, c'est que malgré les difficultés et l'instabilité sous-jacente qu'apportent ces challenges, il me parait que tu réponds "bien" et manière adaptée. 

    Les circonstances extérieures, les épreuves par lesquelles tu passes etc, font parties du processus de guérison et d'auto-découverte. C'est normal de tout déconstruire, et clear up le karma qu'on avait accumulé jusqu'à là, dès le moment où on devient assez développé pour le faire.

    C'est en somme ce qui t'arrive.

    15 hours ago, Raphael said:

    Bien que je progresse j'ai aussi beaucoup de difficultés à atteindre mes objectifs dus à certains traumatismes passés et mauvais conditionnement. Par exemple au niveau organisation et discipline, il s'est passé différentes choses pour moi :

    • J'ai été très organisé et discipliné par le passé mais comme on s'est pas mal foutu de ma gueule et critiqué pour ça j'ai absorbé la pensée qu'être organisé et discipliné est mal. À cause de ça et bien que je faisais de mon mieux c'était en même temps difficile d'être discipliné et organisé (je me battais avec moi-même)
    • On m'a souvent mis la pression pour travailler dur dans le passé. Après une enfance de conditionnement, j'ai eu une période ou je me suis surmené et endommagé

    De plus comme la culture autour de moi est un peu bordélique par rapport à la culture Européenne et que l'attitude de progrès constant est peu présente, je dois me battre un peu contre les normes sociales.

    Oui, je comprends.

    J'ai aussi un vague problème de discipline (qui semble néanmoins enfin se résorber! ).

    Pour ma part, c'est l'effet inverse. Je viens d'une société hyper discipliné ( et de même pour mon environnement familial proche) qui m'a vite donnée une impression d'être annihilée en temps que personne. Faut aussi ajouter un père absent et instable dans sa vie, qui n'a pas eu la chance de projeter un modèle de qualité de l'éternel masculin...

    15 hours ago, Raphael said:

    De plus comme la culture autour de moi est un peu bordélique par rapport à la culture Européenne et que l'attitude de progrès constant est peu présente, je dois me battre un peu contre les normes sociales.

    Comme toi, moi aussi j'essaie d'arriver à une balance entre masculinité et féminité en résolvant mes traumatismes et me déconditionnant.

    Je vois deux choses qui marchent pour moi:

    1) Réussir le plus vite possible à diminuer "le reach" qu'on sur toi les gens qui t'abusent psychologiquement et t'empêchent d'être toi-même en diminuant au strict minimum les possibilités d'empiètements de tes boundaries. Cad être assez indépendant pour ne pas avoir à continuer d'accepter des vexations.

    2) Le pardon. Couplé à de la mindfulness, du non-jugement authentique et une bonne habilité à voir au-delà des actes de brimades et de la violence que l'on t'a infligé. Réussir à avoir de la compassion pour les gens qui t'ont traumatisé en te rendant compte qu'ils étaient pas capables de mieux et qu'ils sont les premières victimes de leur ignorance, c'est vraiment salvateur!

    15 hours ago, Raphael said:

    Personnellement, de l'extérieur j'ai l'impression que la plupart des gens ont une bonne opinion de moi mais à l'intérieur je me sens faux et j'ai l'impression de projeter une image et je considère que c'est le cas. Je me suis demandé si c'était le syndrome de l'imposteur (flowboy m'avait dit que mon image personnelle était peut-être pétée), mais pour moi ça a l'air d'être le cas car : mes relations sociales et relations avec ma famille sont minimales, j'ai jamais eu beaucoup de relations avec les femmes, et j'ai un projet de développement web que j'essaie d'accomplir depuis longtemps mais prends beaucoup de temps.

    Je souffre aussi d'un très sévère cas du syndrome de l'imposteur. 

    C'est pas compliqué ce truc: c'est quand tu as basé ta personnalité dès l'enfance sur un sens de toi-même ultra-négatif. C'est dû à mon avis au fait que les enfants ne sont pas capables de se rendre compte que leur environnement est toxic et internalise la violence qu'ils subissent comme étant de leur faute.  Les psychologues de la théorie de l'attachement le savent bien. Il est obligatoire de se dire que si les choses qui nous arrivent arrivent, c'est pas de la faute des autres, mais c'est la nôtre. On doit être mauvais. 

    Résultat -> image de soi "pétée"

    Je pense que l'image de soi en fait est une projection "externe" d'un phénomène encore plus "interne" avec des émotions résiduelles et des systèmes de croyances sous-jacents ancrés extrêmement profondément... 

    15 hours ago, Raphael said:

     

    C'est là où je me sens un peu mal à l'aise... parce que le truc c'est qu'au niveau spiritualité et notamment pour ce qui est des insights j'ai l'impression que beaucoup de choses sont arrivées naturellement pour moi sans avoir à beaucoup investir. Mon cerveau questionne tout le temps tout, c'est son mode par défaut et je crois que c'est ce qui m'a permis d'arriver naturellement à une certaine maturité d'esprit. Je suis également assez intuitif et quand je suis mon intuition j'avance naturellement, par exemple j'ai découvert la méditation intuitivement et assez tôt compris l'intérêt de la contemplation.

    Ouais, je vois de quoi tu veux parler.

    Pour ma part, c'est pensée en arborescence, un goût pour la métaphysique depuis l'enfance, et des états de conscience modifiés qui me tombent sur la tête sans que je demande rien. En plus d'un besoin perpétuel d'étendre ma conscience comme une sorte d'assoiffée perdue dans un désert de souffrance! Les insights et les prises de consciences en tout genre parsèment mon quotidien sans que je recherche trop. Ou bien si je le fais, c'est tellement normal que je pull des heures et des heures de ce qui semble être du travail pour les autres comme étant simplement mon hobby..

    15 hours ago, Raphael said:

    Le truc c’est que l’on passe tous par différentes phases et c’est donc normal de ressentir davantage certaines émotions dépendant de la phase dans laquelle on est. Néanmoins, il faut également se maintenir et en conséquence:

    • Dans les phases où le moral est plutôt bas: garder un minimum d’organisation pour pouvoir se maintenir mais travailler un peu moins et avoir davantage de temps pour exprimer ses émotions, être avec soi-même, ou se distraire
    • Dans les phases où le moral est plutôt haut: il faut faire attention à ne pas se surmener et prendre des pauses

    Les émotions doivent également être réprimées parfois. C’est normal de ressentir de la mélancolie ou d’autre émotions mais parfois il faut forcer car il faut vivre et survivre: si les émotions n'avaient pas étés autant réprimées dans le passé on aurait pas pu construire les civilizations et infrastructures dans lesquelles on vis actuellement et qui nous permettent de vivre correctement et davantage exprimer nos émotions aujourd'hui.

    Ouais, c'est exactement l'équilibre idéal que je cherche à trouver en ce moment.

    Je suis d'accord avec l'ensemble de tes arguments, et c'est vraiment hilarant que tu mentionnes le besoin passé de refouler les émotions pour survivre, car ça a été un majeur aspect de la reflexion que j'ai eu à ce sujet dans les derniers jours.

    Disons qu'il y a un moment pour tout. Et les deux aspects doivent être honorés d'une manière ou bien d'une autre.

    Ce qui semble bien marcher pour moi en ce moment est de visualiser mon coté masculin comme étant le protecteur de mon coté féminin et mon coté féminin le guérisseur de mon coté masculin.

  4. Posted

    @Raphael

    Au fait, je voulais te demander...

    Toi qui semble si aisément t'organiser et te discipliner, tu pourrais m'éclairer sur un point?

    Comment fais-tu pour constamment atteindre tes objectifs tout en continuant un travail profond sur toi-même?

    Je me rends compte que j'ai des difficultés ce soir à travailler sur mes tâches (très axées sur le logos)  et atteindre mes objectifs, alors qu'en même temps je viens de me faire soudainement rattraper par une sorte de mélancolie. Toi qui semble si constant, tu fais comment? Tu passes simplement outre ce genre d'émotions pendant ton travail?

  5. Posted · Edited by Etherial Cat

    On 22/12/2021 at 10:59 PM, Raphael said:

    C'est intéressant que tu me parles de perméabilité par ce que je viens de recevoir ça dans mes recommendations. J'ai pas regardé, mais je pense que l'on devrait résoner avec ;)

    Oui, je pense que l'on s'influence définitivement tous les uns les autres. Par exemple, je sais parfaitement qui lis mes journaux car je croise souvent ces personnes sur le forum et je vois que mes pensées sont partagées, apréciées ou dérangent ou réveillent des traumatismes.

    Par contre, je suis pas trop sûr de ce que tu veux dire par manière organique. Est-ce que tu peux m'expliquer?

    Cool, merci! Je vais essayer regarder cette vidéo. J'ai encore 2-3 trucs à faire ce soir pour ne pas prendre trop de retard sur mon programme 9_9.

    Ce que je voulais dire par manière organique; que quelque chose est auto-généré, auto-réalisé parce qu'un déclic interne se crée tout seul.

    Oui, moi aussi j'ai l'impression d'avoir une vague idée de qui lis mes journaux. Je n'aime pas trop ça, parce que j'ai l'impression qu'il y a pas mal de voyeurisme et que je me demande si tout le monde est si bien intentionné, au vu de certains comportements auxquels j'ai eu l'honneur d'être confrontés. J'essaye cependant de me focaliser sur les aspects positifs et d'ignorer ce genre de rififi à 2 balles.

    Cela dit, je te trouve loin d'être très controversial. Tu me paraît très sain et apprécié sur le forum. ? Je vois pas non plus nécessairement en quoi tu donnerais excessivement des coups dans la fourmillère, si ce n'est les derniers journaux que tu as posté :P!

  6. Posted

    @Raptorsin7

    If two parents realize they are incompatible and their marriage and/or relationship is broken, the best for everyone (including their children) is that they separate.

    Why? Because the two parents are going to keep on being in conflict. It is going to affect their mood, needs and growth, and teach their children pretenses are more important than their subjective truth.

    Because pretenses and playing a role is how you cope with maintaining something which doesn't feel true otherwise.

    This is already a broken home. The best is if both parents start co-parenting and work on their individuation.

    15 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

    I think a lot of you are way off in regards to the role of a father. If a father is shitty then it's likely that the mother is also shitty, because she lacked the sense to avoid reproducing with a shitty man.

    So now you have a shitty mother raising a child alone without the influence of a father/male figure. Unless it's an exceptionally rare circumstance , having two shitty parents as part of an intact family will likely lead to better results than 1 shitty parent trying to take on all the responsibility.

    Good woman do not pick shitty woman to be fathers of their children, so in many of these cases you have an already dysfunctional situation that is made even worse

    Of course a father is important. But you can be a good father despite of your marriage/relationship status.

    As per putting label and assuming /judging the father and mother are shitty humans for having children out of a functioning mariage... Does it feel really fair to you?

    Most humans are trying to figure out life and can simply evolve in different ways as they grow and mature.

  7. Posted

    2 hours ago, Raphael said:

    @Etherial Cat

    Oui, j'ai remarqué ça aussi. Perso, j'ai l'impression d'avoir sérieusement "level up" au cours des deux derniers mois. On a tous les deux supprimé nos images de profil et informations personelles. On n'a plus aucun besoin de se montrer pour se prouver ;)

    Il semble qu'il y ait un fort phénomène de vase communicant sur ce forum, et une certaine perméabilité des idées. C'est assez intéressant. 

    Je sais pas si ca vient du fait qu'on réalise tous les mêmes chose de manière plus ou moins organique ou bien si on s'influence en lisant les postes d'autrui.

    J'imagine que c'est un mix des deux? 

  11. Posted · Edited by Etherial Cat

    14 hours ago, Hardkill said:

    I remember Leo saying in his Stage Red video that one good thing about Red traits is that “it allows unification of squabbling tribes” for creating a cohesive nation. Obviously this has worked and states, provinces, countries, etc. will continue to hold together as they are for probably centuries longer. However, why did empires such as the British Empire, French empire, Spanish empire, Roman Empire or other empire throughout history never lasted for long?

    Because solide power structures do not only need to be built, they also need to be maintained.

    A nation state is unified through a process that takes centuries of cohesion and social unification. A good nation state is created out of a defensible territory, a culturally rather homogenous population and capable leadership/government.

    Empires tend to spread far out of an initial nation state, swallow up different cultural nations/tribes/cultural ego and fail at both keeping the territory and create a new sense of cohesion between the different populations because the power structure do not last long enough to make the two former element possible. As a consequence, at the first occasion the added territories are lost and the collective egos reclaim their former identity and sovereignty.

    Also, nowadays, de facto empire that holds power are smart and do not call themselves empires, but third party countries or partners. They like better to frame themselves like that, because the word empire is badly connoted and they can anyway get all the advantages of being an empire without the disadvantages. For instance, the US is obviously an empire. 

    That's why we still talk a lot of concepts like imperalism and neo-colonialism.

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    The EU works to the extent that the member states are at similar levels of development, otherwise there is too much tension.

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    An empire would work if it treated all the states with genuine care.

    You can think of the EU as a benevolent sort of "empire" which is working. It has to be an empire of equals, not dominators.

    If you had a European perspective, you would likely see the EU as a corrupt, defunct and doomed structure which needs to desperately hold for geopolitical and military reasons.

    They do a fantastic job at greenwashing and trying to pass as a progressive IO, but underneath the image it is unfortunately rather an undemocratic, technocratic mess, dismantling slowly social progress to align with more neoliberalism.

    Also, some toxic Blue states like Poland and Hungary have major SD level differences with  other member states ( ex: Netherlands, Sweden, Finland, Germany).

    For instance, Poland just banned abortion and is weaponizing migrants. Also, they are rejecting the supremacy and judgments of the European court of justice. So the EU is facing full frontal dissidence by this specific memberstate. 

    Another important point to understand is that European nations states have strong agendas against one another. And due to how the treaties functions, major decisions need to be taken at the unanimity. And in the current circumstances, no one will move towards more power for the EU. So everyone is paralyzed.

    It's like trying to get Blue states like Califonia and New York to renew their vows with Alabama and Kentucky.

  12. Posted · Edited by Etherial Cat

    11 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

    @Raphael There isn't anything wrong with being any of those things but as someone who is coming from an emotionally negligent household that tends to shame me a lot for basic human things, there is a lot of self deprecation and emotional acceptance that I find myself working on. 

    10 hours ago, Raphael said:

    @soos_mite_ah

    Perfectly understandable :) And you are aware of it and you are bringing self-acceptance which is a very strong move considering that. It might be a bit difficult but you are making progress and this is remarkable.

    Interesting discussion. ^_^

    Before clicking on this thread I was analyzing my internalized sense of shame and noticed it stem from an environment where I've felt constantly criticized for being different than other's people expectations. It got me to constantly look at myself through an external gaze, try to mold myself into what other people want, and deeply feel like I need to apologize for the way I am. ?‍♀️

    And what lead first to reflecting on this subject was reading Raphael's thread on why he took a break from Actualized.org. He has been seeing exactly what I have been starting to notice: this website is full of traumatized people, seeking self-actualization to finally make themselves acceptable. 

    We are all valid as we are. Imperfect, figuring stuff out. We already are totally loveable and just need to finally know this is true, after having spent so much time believing we weren't enough and needed to earn it. Realizing this is easier said than known, but recognizing it is already a major step.

  14. Posted · Edited by Etherial Cat

    On 17/12/2021 at 5:48 PM, Loba said:

    @Etherial Cat Good points.  Death is complicated.  There's a lot going on there with it.  I don't think people like that accrue karma either.  I think it has to do with emotional state, how you 'let go'.  Also if there is more you needed to do, then karma will still be there imo.  But someone dying of terminal illness is probably in a different category of karma than say, a young girl who commits suicide because of bullying, or something.

    There's probably beings who oversee this sort of thing and can sort people with the utmost fairness.

    A person who is terminal might be ready to let go after a lot of contemplation and will not have karma because of how they approach death openly.  They might be at peace and then move onto higher places.

    I think karma is something the individual knows best as well, where they need to work on or if they are truly ready to leave.  We can only speculate, but I have a feeling it is also ultra personal and so impossible to categorize too much on how karma works.  I've been reading a lot about the wheel ? though, and how it sorts people for the next life.  Like cogs and gears we have free will to open just through self development, more and more is permitted by unlocking reality.  I'll bet the process is mechanical and perfect.

    Yeah, I mean a lot of cases can be thought about to illustrate why these theories might seem somewhat unfair.

    For instance, what about someone who'd give up on life after a car accident, after witnessing their whole family die before their eyes? Perhaps they could have fought harder for their life, had quite an okay chance to make it, but just decide not to keep trying to live. Is it some form of suicide? "Weakness" of character? Bad combination of physically objective and subjective circumstances? Is it really that bad to decide to leave, in such circumstances? Wouldn't it have killed most humans put externally in the same circumstances? Potentially even spiritual masters?

    Somehow, it seems to be also the case with young girls killing themselves. I've got the chills thinking of someone like Amanda Todd and accepting throughout whatever theory she's got karma to expurgate somewhere in limbo, after obviously she died from life challenges and circumstances exceeding from far what most teenagers are equipped to deal with. What happened to her was enough of a hell. Assuming cosmic justice needs now for her to rot in hell for taking her life feels wrong AF >:(.

    Karma really puzzles me too. It's really a though piece!

  16. Posted · Edited by Etherial Cat

    There are various interpretation about what happens when one dies, let alone with suicide.

    I'll just say that it is quite common to more or less decide to go, especially when you are old and the end is near.

    Sometimes, the frontier between suicide and a natural death isn't so easy to distinguish. An exemple is when you've got a degenerative terminal illness and you decide to stop it there before it turns you into a legume.

    My country has one of the most liberal practices when it comes to end of life, and it doesn't seem correct to assume all people who decide on when and how to end their lives are necessarily creating dense karma for themselves. 

  17. Posted

    2 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

    @Etherial Cat Thank you :x

    I try to not identify too much with the victim story as I think that could become counterproductive and dis-empowering for me. I feel better now, and I'll let my intuition decide on the rest, like I did on here. I wasn't originally intending to write about myself, it was a general insight that I had about the middle east that tradition dominates over the individual and kills all innovation. But then somehow it turned to a whole shadow work post. Looking back now, I might have gone overboard and exaggerated some things about my parents, or rather probably discredited them. For example, they still work till this day, so they're not totally useless like I said. They're not totally bad parents or people, they just happen to have a very limited mind. I just feel mostly angry and unhappy with how my life looks like right now. I think it could have been a lot better given better childhood. But what consolidates me is that I'm not alone in this.

    Yep, gotcha. If I get what you're going through correctly, doing that work is really though on a personal level, causes many logistical issues (basically if you change and your surroundings not, it's even more awful) and so forth. And you still need to make sure you're functional enough for survival in that  hostile environment of yours...

    Exaggerating about what we feel and think is quite common when we're having an emotional release through our writings. I certainly wrote stuff I disagreed with retrospectively when I had my journal, but the energy seemed to kinda want out in a certain fashion at that point. It gets out how it's charged, and has little to do with factuality. So it materializes into distorted thinking, it seems.

    And if it's like very old stuff-  like deep subconscious believes- I've heard they are likely stuck at the same maturity level we had when we caught them. Sometimes they even get intertwined with more recent emotions and it becomes quite a funny and cringey mess to read, over time.

    What I have found out, is that it is okay to be a bit petit and express how we've perceived things, instead of camouflaging it. That petitness is unfortunately how our ego has created a false narrative, and we know deep within it isn't true. It's just a subjective chimera, and going through that process allows us to recognize that it is a lie.

    2 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

    I just feel mostly angry and unhappy with how my life looks like right now. I think it could have been a lot better given better childhood. But what consolidates me is that I'm not alone in this. Most of the people I know have some degree of severe traumatic past. Although some kids have it more severe than others. I would probably rate at 80% severity relative to other kids in my country. But relative to educated people like me, I would probably rate at 100%. It's a generational trauma that keeps on repeating. The medical school for me is more like an obligation, and I don't place any hopes on it. I am working on a different route for financial independence and it will start giving its fruits in the next couple of months.

    Right, I've seen you trying to learn how to program. Sad to hear that even going through medical school doesn't give you any solide prospects. Is it not possible for you to emigrate let say to a place like Canada, once you are done?

    Yeah, I get you on the intergenerational trauma. We're all carrying humanity's trauma since the dawn of time (some stuff has been circulating since the moment humanity started getting ego and passed until now for sure) but some cultural karmas are heavier than others. And it's not helped by the current collective hallucination and actions taken either nor by how bigger collective ego brutalize the area you're living in.

    Your anger and unhappiness seems very much understandable. Every human wish they could have their needs met. Yours have been particularly let down and it sucks.

    3 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

    I hope you're feeling better now, and I hope you got to the bottom of the pain. It can be really tough to not be able to show your wounds to others, partially because they don't share the same wounds as you, and partially because they will probably not understand, and then judge you. 

    Thanks.  :) 

    Yes. An inaccurate invalidation is definitively counterproductive when you're being vulnerable. 

    I think it happens quite often that people are more lenient than we think. Yesterday, I voiced out everything I thought was shameful about me and realized it wasn't at all this bad. Plenty of people wouldn't have blinked, yet I had the feeling to be hiding an old corpse in my closet.

    3 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

     

    I find the Actualized forum's journals to be a safe space for expression. That's why I put all my shadows here. But I also do have someone to talk to and share my wounds with, my physical brother. But it's also different to express in writing alone than to talk it out with someone. I would say each practice has its benefits, so I do both. Sometimes, you just want to talk, and some other times you want support and possibly some feedback because maybe you're not being completely reasonable. I think having someone else besides you can help guide you better. This can get really effective if that person is a certified professional. I would have liked to see a therapist, but unfortunately therapy is trash here, and I can't afford to go abroad for now. But I'm doing good and improving on my own, thanks to the internet. So by the time I move out, I will probably have healed most of my wounds.

    I am building an online coaching practice and I'd be open with offering you a bunch of pro bono sessions.

    I can't do much to help you out of this mess, but if you are interested I can try to create space for you and see what we could do to help you work on some of the challenges you're facing.

  19. Posted · Edited by Etherial Cat

    50 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    From the man's POV, there is a problem that most women are not turned on by high consciousness behavior, there if one wants to attract attractive women one is forced to stoop to a lower level that causes the women to get raw attraction. It's a similar problem to selling high consciousness things to the general population. The general population won't buy it and you might go broke.

    I hear you, but you've managed to make it happen with your business even to the point of abundance  And actually, what makes you so popular is that you're selling to people authenticity and higher consciousness material.

    I'm adamant that you could reiterate the same thing with your sex life. Obviously, not by clubbing in Vegas, but by meeting women in circle mirroring your interests. There should be plenty of them around where you live, or nearby in California.

    At the end of the day, how attractive is really a woman for whom you've got to stoop to a lower level? Isn't this not compromising the piece you cherish most about yourself: truth and consciousness? And isn't it likely to cause a split in yourself, if you pursue :)  ? Self-love would be probably commanding you not to do so. Self-love would tell you to get yourself a woman who authentically resonates with you AND that you find attractive.  All the rest is actually coming out of scarcity.

     

  20. Posted · Edited by Etherial Cat

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Because you're looking at this whole dating situation from your POV.

    Aren't we all?

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Girls on this forum do not accurately represent the general population of girls that guys will be approaching.

    I understand your experience, but your experience does not change what it takes for a guy to attract women.

    Well, this is where I don't get your way of thinking :D.

    You are literally stating one thing and it's opposite.

    If the women on the forum do not represent the general population of girls (assuming we are more "developed" or wired towards spiritual matters), why do you keep addressing us with the same generalization, assumptions, or with the same characteristics? 

    You keep on framing women through a particular monolithic prism which isn't accurate and give us a hard time stating how it actually is for us.

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Yes, for guys, getting laid is a very practical survival issue. That's the guy's agenda.

    The getting laid videos were not designed for women, and I don't expect women to like them or to understand how attraction works. Because that is not your agenda and you do not care about the guy's agenda.

    If I was making a video series for women, it would be totally different, honoring your agenda.

    It's like you walk into a guy's restroom and complain about the urinals. Yes, I get it that you don't care for urinals.

    The fundamental issue here is that men and women have different reproductive agendas. Which is why these videos have a very specific and clear target audience. Women should not be watching videos about how to get laid. It's just going to rile you up.

    When you take the position that "getting laid doesn't matter", that is your agenda. That's not the guy's agenda. But you want guys to adopt your agenda as the one true agenda. And therein lies the problem because our agendas are different and there is no one true agenda. Which is why I don't bother explaining game to girls. It is not in your agenda to understand it.

    Both agenda can converge. It doesn't need to be a thug of war.

    There are easier ways.

    Just not through that framework.

  21. Posted

    12 hours ago, Lyubov said:

    I don't like this word beta though. It's just a cover up for basically "bad." Basically all that toxic pick up BS is just dressing up core beliefs a lot of the guys that get into it have. "I'm bad", a vow they maybe made when they were bullied in school, is just dressed up again as "I"m beta." And so it just pulls all those strings on stuff bellow the surface and tries to change it through overly practical overly manipulative approaches. It's good for building some initial discipline and getting a guy off his ass from playing video games all day but it is very limiting in the long run when it comes to dating and leads to marginal internal changes. 

    I see what you see there. Being beta is associated with danger and a low quality life, as it means being at the bottom of the hierarchy.

    For this reason most men overcapitalize on masculinity and reject some parts of themselves because they are afraid it will make them less competitive, which begets an infernal vicious circle.

    I think men also wants acceptance and safety from one another as much as they want it from females. A lot of the masculinity need to overcompensate for their lack is found in their relationship with the masculine itself.

  22. Posted

    7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Well, if you're so conscious you should understand that the world does not revolve around you.

    You are talking about you. I am giving advice to thousands of men who will be interacting with women who are not you.

    I am not going to cater my videos around you.

    Why make this suddenly about me? I don't think I have been talking about my experience in a significantly different way than the other girls on this forum.

    If you are stating assumptions about female sexuality and then directly address mine, I think it's only fair that I give you my own experience as a woman.

    I am also not that special. If anything, I have just spent more time introspecting and learning about self-help than the average woman, which makes me also more attuned to what is truly attractive or not to female.

    7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    I was targeting men who suck so bad with women you have no idea how much work they have to do to turn that around. I targeted such men because that's what I have massive experience with and it is a serious social problem.

    I get the place you are coming from, and I think this aspect is great.

    I'm just concerned about a few particular points, as such as what I see as an excessive focus on survival, and a few misconceptions about female attraction, which ends up being actually disempowering to both genders.

    8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    You are taking cold approach as mutually exclusive with relationships, which is silly.

    I see pros and cons in it, and I don't believe it is per se mutually exclusive with relationships.

    8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    The skills a man needs to attract a wife are identical to that of attracting a drunk club slut who's looking to snort coke off a dude's dick.

    ...

    I've been attempting to give a reply to this, but I'm just gonna give up and not drag it further 9_9.