There is nothing but appearances and appearances appear to no one. They exist for themselves.
So imagine the color red existing without anyone preceiving it. Red exists for itself.

There is no you.
That's what you're missing.
This stuff happening now is not "your life". Ego is usurping appearances to construct "a life."
All appearances ARE the self.

The I is absolutely everything and nothing.
But it is pretending to be located in the body.

You are the car and everything else. You are the whole bubble of the visual field, not any one part of it.

@Mongu9719 You're overlooking the obvious: the human body is NOT conscious!
Your body has exactly as much consciousness as a rock. The only difference is, you think you are a body whereas a rock does not think it is a rock.
The reason it doesn't make sense to you is because you assume you were born. This is the key mistake. A rock isn't burdened by such an assumption.
Your birth is imaginary. As a result of imagining your birth, you imagine consciousness belongs to you but not to a rock.
You misunderstand the rock because you misunderstand yourself. And you misunderstand yourself because otherwise you could not be born! Your birth itself is a misunderstanding.

Of course I would feel fear climbing a sheer cliff. Because it's a stupid thing to be doing in the first place. This is a healthy and natural reaction.
This work is not about doing stunts.
The legitimate purpose of fear is to keep you from doing things that have a highly likelihood of destroying your avatar.

Suffering comes from attachment to survival and the self-biased perspective that one thing is better or worse than another thing.
If you were willing to die at any moment and you had no sense of one thing being better or worse than another, you wouldn't suffer.
But this is not possible to do from your current state of consciousness, so don't even try to think your way to it.

The more awakened version of the free will question resolves as there not being a difference between free will and not free will, since that is a duality.
It's very tricky. The universe's will is in control, but you are also the universe.
In the end, everything is God's will, but you are also God. So you sit right in the nexus of the matter.

Yes, this is very common. This is the whole path. If there wasn't some kind of resistance it would be too easy.
I've found that it's crucial to get really clear about what you want -- why do you want awakening? -- and to do deep introspection about what is holding you back. What are all the things you're attached to which keep you from living in God-consciousness? Make a list. It's gonna be a long list. That's all the stuff you gotta work to let go of and heal.
Healing yourself and making yourself whole is very important and not to be overlooked in this work.
You're not gonna be able to sustain God-consciousness is you're tainted with all sorts of fears, judgments, wounds, traumas, grudges, anger, cravings, ideologies, etc.
You have to reach a level of inner purity where you are ready to say, "Okay, I freely surrender myself in the service of God. This is no longer about me and my petty cravings and grievances. I'm willing to surrender the self for good and to live selflessly in the service of others. I want God more than anything else in the world."

Clinical trials clearly show that you can increase the rate of fighting and healing cancer with visualization exercises in which you visualize your immune system killing the cancer cells. This is an effective technique that is supported by clinical data. People recover from illness faster when they visualize than when they don't.
So in this sense you do have control of your immune system. Not to mention that you can control what you feed your body which greatly affects your immune system's ability to function.
Of course the notion of "control" here is dualistic and relative. In the absolute sense the Universe controls itself.

It doesn't have to be that way.
You can build high quality relationships.
No one is forcing you to do one night stands.
And also understand that many women are into one night stands. Women who go to a nightclub are interested in sex. They are not there to play pattycakes.
I met two gals who flew into Vegas with the desire to have sex with new guys every day of the week while they were here. After I slept with one of them, she didn't even want to see me the next day. She went looking for a new guy.
Women are not such innocent creatures.
And not all sex requires some deep commitment. I've had sex with women and then we both happily go our separate ways with no hard feelings.

Of course it will feel unnatural at first. You keep practicing it until you can stare and talk at the same time.
The nice thing about deep eye contact is that it's so powerful that much less needs to be said.
I would focus less on being a chatterbox and more on transmitting seductive and sexual energy through your gaze.
Also, slow down the rate of your speech. Slow and steady.

@Juliano Zn That's just because you have only begun the process and you are not seriously contemplating.
Try again, but be serious about your contemplation.
This work requires a stone-cold commitment to truth.
Forget about your family, forget about human life.
What is true?! What is existence?

You are on the right path. Keep going.
Maybe try to up your mushroom dosage
If you can't have a spiritual insight on mushrooms, I don't know how to help you.
If you want serious nondual states without psychedelics, you must do at least week-long retreats. The kinds of nondual states I speak from are not at all easy to access for most people. This is just a brutal fact. Otherwise this knowledge would be common place, and it's anything but.
There is a reason people become monks. That's basically the only way to access the highest levels of consciousness without psychedelics.

If you become conscious enough you can see that pain itself is a self-bias. There is no reason why pain is worse than pleasure. This preference is a self-bias and distortion of truth.
But that requires some crazy levels of consciousness outside the ability of most people. Don't even dream of it unless you are a full-time monk.

Awakening is nothing but the present moment. You will not gain anything else.

@Forrest Adkins It comes from ego and ignorance. It takes a lot of consciousness to be able to understand spiritual concepts accurately.
As the Buddha is said to have said: "You are not punished for your anger, you are punished by your anger."

Masculine is more active, seeking to enforce itself on the world.
Feminine is more passive, seeking to soak in the world.
Is this really so hard to understand?
Masculine wants to penetrate, feminine wants to be penetrated.

It's important to distinguish attraction vs dating vs relationship.
These are distinct phases. What I'm talking about here is mostly the first phase: attraction, without which nothing else is possible.
Once the relationship begins for real (after a few times of sex), then things change.
I recommend all guys practice what I call Conscious Relationship. Which is a huge topic which I won't explain here. Suffice it to say, you ladies would love it. It's everything you want out of a relationship and much more. It's the thing you wish pickup was because you're not concerned about the attraction phase much.
I am by no means only about attraction and anti-relationship. I think there's lots of value in intimate relationship. But before we get there, we gotta bang There's a certain order of operations to the mating game.

Match is part of the process.
Of course not every woman will be a match with every man. That's all sorted out in the field.
It's not like if a guy has game he can attract/sleep with 100% of women. About 33% of women will love him, 33% of women will hate him, and 33% of women will be indifferent.
There's always an element of luck and personalities need to match up. That's why he chats with 10 women, 3 get attracted, 1 comes home.
A highly attractive man is actually more polarizing. Some women will absolutely hate him. But those who like him will LOVE him.
You also have to keep in mind that not all guys with game are the same. Each guys attracts a specific subset of female personality types. Because game is expressed differently through different personality types. Game is not a specific type of guy, it's general principles of attractiveness which are incarnated uniquely by each guy, attracting different kinds of women. For example, humor is going to vary from guy to guy. Guys can have very different senses and styles of humor. But learning the general principles of humor will help every guy, no matter what his style of humor is. And all girls love some style of humor. Humor can be dry, witty, intellectual, sexual, subdued, bold, sarcastic, self-deprecating, dark, physical, nerdy, etc.

Not 25% of women. 100% of heterosexual women.
What you describe in your 2nd paragraph: the vibe, the energy, the nonchalance... that's exactly what game is.
You are thinking of game as a set of tricks men use to maniuplate women to sleep with them. But that's not real game, that's crap game. Real game is a man simply behaving in a strong, authentic, masculine way which generates a really charming vibe that girls cannot resist.
The charm isn't fake, it's real! The woman gets attracted not because she is verbally tricked, but because the guy is actually being an awesome guy to his bones.
Imagine your dream guy: strong, bold, charming, smooth, natural, funny, cool, exuding masculine vibe. That's what pickup trains a guy how to be. And once a guy becomes that way, every girl wants to marry him. The trick is, once a guy becomes that way he has so many options that he may not want to get married to any one girl. And thus a player is born.
Despite what they say, girls love players. She simply wants to lock him down for herself. That is the real issue. Girls struggle with players because they are hard to lock down.
In other words, sex is a marketplace and girls do not want to admit that.

That's such a huge topic.
Here's a few things quickly off the top of my head:
Laser eye contact Learning to create a genuine smile on a dime Firm, commanding tone of voice. Slowing down your rate of speech. Being relaxed and at ease in your body when talking Simply lots of socialization and conversation experience (doesn't even have to be with women). The stuff I talk about in my video: How To Be Funny The ability to talk about yourself endlessly. Dressing sharp. Get all of your clothing tailored for slim fit. Groom yourself well. Upgrade your whole wardrobe to be stylish. Develop a sense of style that suits you. The ability to be playful and laugh at yourself and life Handle your sexual neediness so that you aren't sexually needy Develop charisma -- I have a good book about charisma on my book list. Passion for life. You must be building an awesome life for yourself aside from girls/sex/relationship. The girl should be the least important part of your life. Your life should be so awesome that anyone who comes into contact with you would feel lucky. You must be in love with yourself and your life. Self-Love. Accept yourself as you are, completely. Be thrilled to be you. Treat yourself as God's gift to the world and to women.  
You feel the pain of it fully. You cry. You pull your hair out.
Some nights I had such failure that I literally drove home crying. And that's what made me stronger. The suffering grows you.
Read the book Mastery by George Leonard.

Yes, I know your pain very well. I have lost 100s of such girls out of sheer incompetence and weakness.
I think your only problem is lack of volume. You gotta understand that getting good at this skill set literally requires 1000s of approaches every year. Really, you have to devote a few years of your life to it.
How badly do you want to get good? That's the key question. As Zizek would say, are you willing to sell your mother into slavery to get good with girls? If not, your results will be mediocre. You need serious vision and drive here. You will have to work your ass off for it. Having sex with lots of hot women is not something that life just hands you on a silver platter. Becoming a highly attractive man is a huge makeover project. It involves making deep structural changes to your entire lifestyle and way of thinking.
If it was easy, every guy would be sleeping with a model.

You need a lot of practice physically escalating on a girl in a noncreepy way. Learning how to touch her is crucial for success. Touching is so important. Start touching her with 3 seconds of meeting her and don't let up. Escalate your touching all throughout the date.
Google: "kino escalation ladder"
You need to learn kino
You need to take every chance you can to touch her to make her comfortable with your touch. Start with playful, non-erotic touching, then ramp it up to the heavy stuff.