Which is why I told you it will take YEARS of genuine, truthful, introspection work to break free.
By "feeling" what I'm really talking about is CONSCIOUSNESS.
Consciousness = Truth
Unconsciousness = Falsehood
Do not confuse introspection with emotional reactivity.

Yes, PUA can become very toxic if done by a selfish and low-consciousness guy.
But also don't forget, most men manipulate women for sex, PUA or not. It's not like non-PUAs are non-manipulative. Lol
Manipulating women for sex is the oldest sport in the world.

Look man, Covid has thrown everyone for a loop. Now is not the time to start pickup. Work on other aspects of your development and you can try cold approaching in a year once things ease up.
I live in Las Vegas and the entire nightlife industry has been nuked from orbit for what looks like 2 years. Yeah, it sucks.
Be happy you ain't being drafted to fight in WWIII as your grandpappy was. The world doesn't revolve around your dick.

Obviously fear exists. The point is that all fear is false or delusional in the absolute sense because no one outcome is better than another.
Fear comes from the mind's bias for one thing over another, imagining differences which are ultimately meaningless.

Dude, you cannot build attraction via text. It will NEVER work.
Grow some balls and build attraction in-person. That's the only way. You're using texting to attract her because you're a weasel. You want to weasel your way into her pants, and she smells your weakness from a hundred miles away.
Text should only be used to set up date logistics and keeping leads warm.
Once she said No, stop texting her. NEVER try to logically convince a woman to sleep with you. It reeks of desperation, low value, and cluelessness. A woman will NEVER sleep with you from logical convincing.
She will never, ever sleep with you now. So move on to the next girl and do it right next time.
Also, stop giving a fuck about rejection. Invest ZERO into any girl until she sleeps with you. Do not even spend 15 minutes thinking about her. ZERO INVESTMENT.
You're gonna have to learn that the hard way.

By going out so much that you are so busy talking to other girls that you don't have time to think about it and no one lead matters. And also by training yourself never to invest before sex.
As soon as you think, "This lead is special" you screwed up.
Note: this is only during the early phase of dating. Once she falls in love with you, then you invest back and treat her nice.

Both of these are serious books which you don't seem suited for right now.
When you are dealing with a serious subject matter like understanding reality, the question of "How can this immediately benefit me?" is not suitable.
What you're interested in is more along the lines of Tony Robbins self-help.
Wilber's work is for serious intellectuals.

Make a check-list of what you want, then roll up your sleeves and get to work.
All that material shit is straight-forward to get. There's no mystery to it.
If you sleep with 20 girls, you'll find at least a few who are what you want.
You gotta get serious about building out a life. Stop dabbling and being meek about it. Go fucking do it.

Yes, of course. Which is why masterful sages sit in silence and don't say anything at all. The only reason they talk is because you cannot understand silence.
All words you utter are false.
All opinions you hold are nonsense.
Reality just is.
The ultimate aim is no-mind.
Sadhguru once said that some scientists once hooked him up to a brainwave machine to measure his meditation brainwaves. The machine showed nothing. He is clinically brain dead. When he sits, it's literally no-mind.
If you could stop your mind, your journey would be over. You would have arrived in paradise.

@Nora You're not going to resolve the mind/body problem through language, reasoning, or logic from inside the materialist reductionist scientific paradigm.
You can only resolve it by having a direct consciousness of the fact that all of reality is infinite consciousness.
There is no body, there is no mind, and there is no world. All of those are thoughts. You have to work to become mindful of how this is so.
It's not a matter of argument. It's a matter of awareness of what's actually happening when you say, "This is my body. This is my mind." When you say or think these things, you're not aware yet that these are just noises arise from nothingness.

Most rich people ARE more competent, conscious, and productive than most poor people. This is especially true if they have self-made wealth.
But that only goes so far. As 99% of all people in general, rich people are terrible at questioning the self-serving nature of their own worldview because one's worldview is built from the ground up to serve one's survival.
Rich people are not masters of their minds or their psychology. Obviously. Since they spend most of their time climbing the ladder of success, which has nothing to do with self-awareness or moral development.
What poor people do not understand is that being rich does not solve the issue of survival whatsoever. Not at all. It only transforms survival into a more complex and abstract domain.
You will have exactly the same number of problems when you're rich as you did when you were poor. They will just be a different set of problems. This is hard for most poor people to understand since they like to blame their problems on material conditions without realizing that problems are a deep core function of the ego-mind, not material conditions.

Zen no-mind does NOT mean no thinking.
This is a common newbie misunderstanding.

This is not a matter of Red Pill theory.
You're just acting needy.
Keep the needy part of your mind shut when you are with this girl. You should be focused on flirting, sharing fun stories, and seduction.
Of course she did. Because you demonstrated that you are a weak, wounded guy who wants to use her as your emotional tampon.
A girl wants an emotionally strong guy who she can use as her emotional tampon. You flipped the roles so she lost attraction.
It's all about timing.
You can be emotionally vulnerable and serious with a girl after she is your girlfriend. Which means you must first have sex with her a dozen times. THEN you can cry together and it will be no problem. But not on the first date, for fuck's sake.
First rule of dating: Don't say anything negative or serious on the first date. No whining, no complaining, no blaming, no bitching, no crying, no victim stories, no emotional outbursts, no therapy sessions, no weirdness, no secret confessionals, no revealing skeletons from your closest. Just be friendly, fun, and chill. If you have to fake it till you make it, do that.

You fucked up real bad here, boy.
What are you thinking being brutally honest on a date? It reeks of neediness and low-value.
The first month of dating should be all fun and games. No serious talk! No serious talk until you sleep with her at least half a dozen times.
Stop using your dates as therapy.
LOL
Because you set the BOYFRIEND FRAME. Now she will withhold pussy from you for days and weeks. If you were fun and playful she would have had sex with you and everything would have been great. But you had to go and act needy and serious with her.
You have to treat sex like it means nothing. Like it's as common as chewing gum to you. When you make it a big deal, so will she.
You'll be lucky if she ever sleeps with you at all. A quality girl would never call you back after that.
Learn proper dating theory.
And don't listen to her stupid self-biased advice.
You fell into every newb trap in the dating book.
WTF is this gay needy nonsense???
No! No! No!
Keep it light and playful.
P.S. If you haven't had sex with her, she is certainly not your gf.

You do realize, right, that all numbers is completely relative? There is no difference between 1 and 2.
I dare you to find 1 or 2 in the objective world.
Anything you point to and call 1 will also be greater than one. Anything you point to and call greater than 1 will also be 1.
Because: one = many
But you weren't taught this lesson in math class.

@X_X Too much theory, philosophy, belief, and BS.
You have no idea what true meaninglessness is. You have some constructed worldview that says one thing, yet the way you live life is completely the opposite of that. If nothing has meaning then why you are you unhappy? You see? You're living in a BS fantasy world of your own construction.
To realize that reality is meaningless is a profound, life-transforming epiphany that will take you decades of work to achieve. You haven't actually achieved it. You've merely created a fake front. Which is why you suffer from it.
The solution is to stop lying to yourself and to ground yourself in direct experience and your current level of development. Your current level is one in which you operate based on good/bad and meaning. All your fear and suffering coming from the latent meanings you assign to things.
Drop you dumb philosophy, open your mind, and start following your heart.
True meaninglessness is not what you think it is. It's Love.
You're right, the universe doesn't need your help. But it is your playground and an expression of your Love, or lack thereof.
You are not here to fix the universe. You are here to discover Love.
Helping people is not done out of some dumb notion of objective right or wrong. It's done out of Love.
The universe is meaningless so that you have the freedom of choice to imbue it with your own personal meaning and style of love.
God is not telling you what to do precisely so that you can decide what is worth doing. And if you decide that the only thing worth doing is pissing your life away, then that's what you've decided.

@Don Wei Be mindful of doing work just because some other human told you to. This is a waste of your life and potential.
Then again, if you don't have a clear picture of what you want, then following that human might be better than doing nothing.
Become crystal clear about what you want to create in life and then get to work on it. << this is how you feel empowered and worthwhile in life.
Really contemplate whether the stuff you're doing in university, which is eating up all of your time and attention, is in any way related to what you really want to create in your life. Or are you just being a mindless sheep, following the flock into wage slavery?

In your example, you can certainly train yourself to let go of anxiety and replace with positive vision and confidence. That's a very important technique to learn.
Telling yourself that you cannot change silly anxiety like that is a victim mindset.

There is an entire therapy method called Cognitive Behavior Therapy which dealing with stuff like anxiety through thinking.
But did not say thinking is the only or the best way. There are many techniques.
You frame it as mind-games, but the truth is your anxiety is a mind-game to begin with.
Taking responsibility for how you unwillingly cause your emotional reactions is a huge part of our work here.

Dude, you have no clue what Sadhguru has accomplished in the name of consciousness.
You are parroting platitudes.
If anyone here accomplished even 10% of what Sadhguru has, you would be treated as a god on your deathbed. And rightly so. What he has done for the advancement of mankind is incredible.
You dismiss it only because you are clueless.
If you yourself are not gonna be a saint in this lifetime, as least have the decency to recognize a saint when one appears before you.

@SamC When you want truth and existential understanding more than any other thing.
It is okay to want other things, but they should take second place.
You are very young. It is normal and healthy for you to spend the next 5 or 10 years working on survival aspects of your life. Handle your survival needs so well that they stop bothering you.

Any psychedelic can mindfuck you. But mushrooms are especially twisted. At high doses of mushrooms you will hallucinate like a motherfucker and get lost down infinite rabbit holes of your mind. A descent into madness. This is not necessarily a good thing for our work. Our work seeks clarity, not insane rabbit holes. An insane rabbit hole can still come with lots of valid insight, but its so chaotic and twisted that you're not going to be able to make much use of it, and it will traumatize you in the process.
What we seek are higher states of clarity, not descents into madness.

Even the most toxic ideology like Nazism will have grains of truth to it. That's precisely how the devil uses it to lure you in.
Delusion is never 100% falsehood. It's falsehood mixed with just enough truth to make the two indistinguishable in the minds of the selfish and the ignorant.

And that will be a trap that a lot more people here fall into. Because my work does not cover survival aspects of personal dev as much as most of you need.
You have to understand that my work is very advanced. It is not a complete teaching that takes you from A to Z. It takes you from L to Z. The A to L part you must figure out elsewhere.

The report already is so long, i skip to the beginning of the peak experience.
I was at home. I felt sensory overload in the living room, even though it was pretty quiet. That's when I started to feel insecure, and I kept thinking that a disaster was about to happen. Then I went to my room and went to bed with my twin brother (my closest caregiver).
I started to feel more and more anxious and realized that only my brother and my girlfriend could give me security. Layers of my identity as Jonas (my name is Jonas) also became clear to me, especially in terms of how much security which gives me. For example, my landlady and aunt weren't that important, then all of my close friends came along, everyone who was also in my apartment and a few others. And the innermost layer was my brother and my girlfriend. I knew that she couldn't be here now, so i focused on my brother and held onto him. All along he said that everything is fine and that I don't need to be afraid. I really noticed how each layer slipped through my fingers and I was always holding onto the next layer. I still knew that I had "only" taken one drug. Still, I started to cry with fear. I also asked for a trip killer, so two of my friends went out to get one. My brother kept trying to calm me down. At this point it helped that I had dealt with things like the illusion of the ego, ego death, psychedelic experiences, and spirituality before. Because at some point I realized that if the ego was really an illusion, and it was dissolving because of the 1cp-LSD, it would probably feel just like my state, namely that the individual layers were crumbling and I always clung to the next layer and that the ego creates another fear in me with every shift. It felt like I saw through my ego.
At some point I realized the real power of letting go and I was able to stop clinging to my brother. I realized that I can just surrender to any fear and that the only way to escape a fear is to really let go and face that fear. It became clear to me that every living being sets its own limits, but unfortunately mostly unconsciously, which is why you cannot easily recognize and overcome this limit. When I was able to let go of everything, values like having a lot of money and little money were just as important as wanting to live and not wanting to live. Life seems more important to us than money only because living is a more important part of one's identity than having money. Our consciousness has nothing to do with being a human being, it is completely independent of it. It felt as if my previous life was only there to experience this moment at some point and that I was now pulled out of my ego to the Absolute Truth, namely that everything is one, reality is non-dual and completely infinite. I felt free from all limits that could ever exist, I felt infinite, I felt the unity of reality and the non-duality of the whole universe. This was a state of extreme bliss as I realize that all fears were only fictional and meaningless. I had something like the attached image in mind, just without the person, but the pattern around it was similar.
I now understood why dualities like life and death, everything and nothing, flow together in the largest possible picture. Even logic and time are just limits of your own mind. I felt pure existence, every moment was eternal, my consciousness was nothing but perception. I had lost track of time. I was a single singularity, all dreams, desires, fears, emotions of all people. At that point, I didn't want the trip killer anymore either. It was a wonderful miracle. I cried with joy.
The following words kept coming into my head over an over again:
- Being. Just being.
- Existence
- Love
- Non-duality
- Moment (i realized that only the present exists)
- Consciousness.
I recognized the infinite power of letting go, every possible suffering could simply be let go, but of course not in low states of consciousness like that of everyday human life. I said several times things like “trust me”, “let go”, “don't hold on”, “listen to yourself”, “go seek inside yourself” and “let it go”. I wanted to advise everyone in the world to use these words. I also understood the importance of inner calm and the search for the real self in the world.
I saw that love and hate were inextricably intertwined. It was at this point that I also understood karma. Everything we do to others, we experience ourselves at some point, everything we do for others, we do for ourselves. I constantly had images of intertwined strange loops in my mind.
I saw existence as a strange loop.
Anything I would take would be taken from me in another life. I understood why all people were blind to this absolute truth and why no one could logically convince anyone of it. It was as if I had grasped the absolute meaning of existence.
I had realized that the unified consciousness of the universe had created itself for the purpose of existence. The positives and negatives didn't matter. I should experience every other life, infinitely often and infinitely long. However, I didn't know how my experience was going to continue.
Miss-interpretation of reality
After my peak experience, I woke up in the "real" world. I thought that I was now in a world where everyone else who was there knew what I knew. One of the reasons for this was that when I was walking around, I just dropped to the floor and was only caught because my friends looked after me so well. I thought the universe would reward my letting go by being caught by my friends. Every time I let myself down, I was caught by the others. When the others spoke, everything they said only confirmed what I had just experienced. I thought I (the consciousness of the universe) had created everything myself, every music, every smell, every color, every voice. There was nothing but perception. Everything was just beautiful in its perfection. I realized that life was a movie that I watched with my friends and everyone else. I knew I would go through someone else's life one day. I thought my friends knew what I was experiencing because I interpreted some statements as follows:
- "That's a nice head" (he meant the hookah). I thought he meant that as a metaphor for the wonder of existence
- "Now he probably doesn't want to take the trip killer anymore" I thought he meant that after I had learned this truth of the universe, I now know that I no longer need to be afraid of it
- "But that took a long time" (he probably meant the duration of my mental absence from his point of view during the peak) I thought he meant that it took my whole life to come to this insight.
- One line in a song read “and all that counts, is here and now”. I thought this was related to only the present existing and just to focus on
- "You could almost make a meme out of it." I thought he meant the feeling when you first live my experience.
- I asked my brother and a friend how I should have known all of this, and that at some point I will be totally scared (because I would probably experience it again in my next life, at the latest when I die). I don't remember the answer, but I still interpreted it in such a way that they both knew what I was talking about.
I thought that from now on I would be in a reality in which my fellow human beings know the nature of the existence of everything. Later that evening, when a slight feeling of sobriety returned, I thought I was now in a kind of paradise where I could shape my life as I wanted. However, anything that I took positively would fall back on me negatively in another life. I didn't know whether to offer my help to my friends in order to improve my karma. I was confused what to do and whether I would really live in paradise, because I felt like Jonas again, who would like to see his girlfriend, even though the fear of never seeing her again was actually only imaginary. However, I really thought I was in a different reality. That was also because when we sat on a bench outside, the skyline of Nuremberg (in Germany) looked completely different from what I was used to. But that was still due to the remains of the 1cp-LSD. Since my brother said I would feel better in the morning, I didn't know what to expect when I went to sleep. At that point in time, I wanted to go back to my "old" life. I tried to get myself off the trip through low-consciousness stuff like watching a live stream and playing a mobile game. That's why I took the trip killer, also to be able to sleep, although I was still afraid of what would happen if I disappeared from this “paradise” due to the trip killer. I went to sleep at some point and the next morning I felt exhausted and confused, but sober again. I went back to the bench from yesterday evening and was glad that everything looked the way I knew it.
Conclusion
I never thought that such a dose would trigger such an incredible experience and would definitely have taken less if I had known. I was not prepared for that, i've taken 150 µg before and it was like 100 times weaker. The ego death was not intended. That was probably the most profound experience of my life. How do I properly integrate such an experience?
Thanks for reading :).