smiling at strangers

[bebotalk]

17 hours ago, meta_male said:

There's no benefit for someone to be pushed to smile if they don't feel like it. There are people who are simply happy – they usually smile. If you're in a bad mood then you can get triggered by these people, even if they're not needy and leave you be. These people are wise because they are happy for the sake of being happy and because it makes them feel good, but they understand not everyone is feeling the same way inside.

Then there's insecure people who really get on your nerves and need to pour their happiness onto you, more so to feel superior. They mean well but are socially uncalibrated. They can ask dumb questions like ArE yOu hAppY? WhAt HaPPeNeD tO yOu? WhY dOn'T YoU sMiLe MoReeeeee?

Unless one is an empath, one cannot know the true emotional states of others. It's not that simple as you're alluding to. 

[meta_male]

@bebotalk  You'd be surprised. No such thing as an empath.

[bebotalk]

7 hours ago, meta_male said:

@bebotalk  You'd be surprised. No such thing as an empath.

Well, no, facial expressions don't correlate with inner emotional states. Moreover, the evidence on whether empaths exist is moot. It's not humanely possible to read an entire person's emotional state by mere observation. If psychological facts annoy you, that's a you problem.

[bebotalk]

23 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Are you sure about that?

 

Is this an attempt to gaslight? Or you know my reactions? do you know me? 

Yes, the bystander effect exists. But I have and will call for help. It's funny how you claim to know my reactions. 

[bebotalk]

18 hours ago, universe said:

In which way to feel or to act do you think you are manipulated.

Manipulation is what you're doing right now. 

[meta_male]

17 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

Well, no, facial expressions don't correlate with inner emotional states. Moreover, the evidence on whether empaths exist is moot. It's not humanely possible to read an entire person's emotional state by mere observation. If psychological facts annoy you, that's a you problem.

When you read someone's emotional state it's cognitive empathy, when you feel their emotional state it's emotional empathy. I'm not annoyed, but I know it can seem like it...mirror, mirror...

[Yimpa]

33 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

Is this an attempt to gaslight? Or you know my reactions? do you know me? 

Yes, the bystander effect exists. But I have and will call for help. It's funny how you claim to know my reactions. 

No. It’s to give a different perspective.

Don’t take what I said personally. That’s what DM/PM is for. We are on an online forum and everything we discuss can be seen from many different perspectives.

Edited February 7 by Yimpa

[bebotalk]

24 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

No. It’s to give a different perspective.

Don’t take what I said personally. That’s what DM/PM is for. We are on an online forum and everything we discuss can be seen from many different perspectives.

Well, you don't know how i can or will react. i hope your attempt to gaslight gave you pleasure! Your points were obviously off colour but i'm not even offended. just genuinely amused. 

Edited February 7 by bebotalk

[bebotalk]

26 minutes ago, meta_male said:

When you read someone's emotional state it's cognitive empathy, when you feel their emotional state it's emotional empathy. I'm not annoyed, but I know it can seem like it...mirror, mirror...

We make inferences from facial expressions or body language. this is distinct from knowing one's exact emotional state, which isn't possible. 

[Israfil]

On 06/02/2024 at 4:53 AM, bebotalk said:

Why would a person radiate happiness for the sake of it?

Have you ever felt happiness? Expressing happiness is simply joyful and pleasurable. That's why people express it. 

You seem too keen on looking for a reason to smile but, fundamentally, over 90% of what we do as a species is completely unnecessary. Theoretically, we just NEED to eat, drink water, shit, piss, and sleep. All else is superfluous or instrumental to that.  

If I feel like it, I will smile. There's no need to contain a harmless feeling for the sake of it too.

[meta_male]

@bebotalk Ok, thanks.

[bebotalk]

4 hours ago, Israfil said:

Have you ever felt happiness? Expressing happiness is simply joyful and pleasurable. That's why people express it. 

You seem too keen on looking for a reason to smile but, fundamentally, over 90% of what we do as a species is completely unnecessary. Theoretically, we just NEED to eat, drink water, shit, piss, and sleep. All else is superfluous or instrumental to that.  

If I feel like it, I will smile. There's no need to contain a harmless feeling for the sake of it too.

Maybe it's some norm in India to gain pleasure from comically invasive questions. 

I'm a human. I can tell you I've experienced every emotion. 

Most actions are extrapolations of basic needs. Nobody needs to watch TV, but we do for entertainment or to be informed. Those are needs. I don't see the connection in this context. You seem to have an issue in anyting that doesn't meet some spritual basis. 

 

[Danioover9000]

@bebotalk

On 06/02/2024 at 7:50 AM, bebotalk said:

I suppose much of it is cultural. I grew up in the UK and it's not the norm there. It's not really normal in most of Europe. 

   No wondr most of Europe and UK is depressing, and sometimes most faces are a bit hollowed around the cheeks. Sometimes Chinese face reading is right.

[Danioover9000]

@bebotalk

12 hours ago, bebotalk said:

We make inferences from facial expressions or body language. this is distinct from knowing one's exact emotional state, which isn't possible. 

   True, and while I agree we may not know the EXACT degree of emotional state, we do FEEL the type of emotional state. For example, body language and tonality of people getting defensive and feeling anger would make you feel a little bit similar thanks to mirror neurons in the brain, and life experiences of seeing angry and frustrated people.

[bebotalk]

16 hours ago, Yimpa said:

No. It’s to give a different perspective.

Don’t take what I said personally. That’s what DM/PM is for. We are on an online forum and everything we discuss can be seen from many different perspectives.

i think it's the brains of spiritual people. you seem like a coward, since y0ou won't a hijabi this. why not? she's human. maybe she should handle human engagement and filter it out as we all do. 

[meta_male]

1 hour ago, bebotalk said:

you seem like a coward

You realise what it means when you go around calling people cowards? It means you see yourself as a coward, but you hate this part of yourself.

[Israfil]

16 hours ago, bebotalk said:

Maybe it's some norm in India to gain pleasure from comically invasive questions. 

 

Imposing me a nationality that I don't have was supposed to do what exactly?

16 hours ago, bebotalk said:

Most actions are extrapolations of basic needs. Nobody needs to watch TV, but we do for entertainment or to be informed. Those are needs. I don't see the connection in this context. You seem to have an issue in anyting that doesn't meet some spritual basis. 

 

That's why I used the word "instrumental", a goal that serves other goals. I had no aggressive tone when I wrote that. I just try to be concise when I'm writing.

What I wrote is very practical. Your position is that there must be a reason to contain happiness or displays of joy, my point is that you could flip that argument and look for a reason to contain a harmless feeling. Smiling is simply that, smiling. People do it when they're joyful. If others perceive it as foolish or stupid it's their projection of a completely normal human behaviour. Maybe some people just wish to be confident enough to be more open with their emotions and shame people when they do it.

[Salvijus]

It depends if your heart is open or not. If it's open you, then you smile towards everything not just people and you have good will towards others and it may or may not manifest as a smile if it's appropriate. 

If your heart is closed. You will label others as "strangers" (even tho there's no such thing in existence), and you will try to keep your guard up, and you will try to avoid any contact with people otherwise great discomfort will enter the body. Essentially it's just fear and ego at play. 

So it's just a question whether your heart is open or closed. Accordingly things manifest. One way is not better than the other. But one way is definitely more lighter, relaxed, trusting, and filled with good will. Whereas another is very fear based. 

Edited February 8 by Salvijus

[bebotalk]

On 08/02/2024 at 4:08 PM, Salvijus said:

It depends if your heart is open or not. If it's open you, then you smile towards everything not just people and you have good will towards others and it may or may not manifest as a smile if it's appropriate. 

If your heart is closed. You will label others as "strangers" (even tho there's no such thing in existence), and you will try to keep your guard up, and you will try to avoid any contact with people otherwise great discomfort will enter the body. Essentially it's just fear and ego at play. 

So it's just a question whether your heart is open or closed. Accordingly things manifest. One way is not better than the other. But one way is definitely more lighter, relaxed, trusting, and filled with good will. Whereas another is very fear based. 

Spiritualists are funny. All over the place, hypocritical, holier than thou, and presumptuous. 

Smiling isn't the only way to demonstrate goodwill towards others. A person might smile at you to break down barriers since s/he has bad intent. It's not that black and white. 

There are other ways of life than your spiritualism. It's not THE path or perception. 

but then you assume everybody is morose all the time. no, people are not. we have by design and default a variety of emotions. An edgelord/emo-eque state is just something you concocted and want to project to all others. 

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, bebotalk said:

Spiritualists are funny. All over the place, hypocritical, holier than thou, and presumptuous. 

Smiling isn't the only way to demonstrate goodwill towards others. A person might smile at you to break down barriers since s/he has bad intent. It's not that black and white. 

There are other ways of life than your spiritualism. It's not THE path or perception. 

but then you assume everybody is morose all the time. no, people are not. we have by design and default a variety of emotions. An edgelord/emo-eque state is just something you concocted and want to project to all others. 

Nice. That was pretty good response

I'm comfident one day we'll agree on something

Edited February 9 by Salvijus