Cold Approach Therapy

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura so the skills gained are handling fear, learning from failures etc.

[Leo Gura]

@Rishabh R Just the discipline you will need to go out every weekend for 2 years straight will grow hair on your balls.

And much more will come along the way.

For example, most of guys have zero sense of humor. You don't know how to crack to hilarious joke. That will take you 2 years to learn.

Edited December 21, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura thank you but how to handle awkwardness and confrontation, threats etc The looks of disgust on girls face when you approach strangers whom you don't know.Plus insecure people ? You also said that you will do a video on victim mindset in the future. Even I no longer feel like a victim cause I have taken radical responsibility in my life - whatever happens in my experience I am the one responsible for it.

Edited December 21, 2023 by Rishabh R

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

but how to handle awkwardness and confrontation, threats etc The looks of disgust on girls face when you approach strangers whom you don't know.Plus insecure people ?

Stop thinking about it, stop worrying about it, and just commit to going out and approaching people. Their reactions are irrelevant.

There is no mental trick here. The only trick is to force yourself to go out and approach every week, whether you want to or not. If you try to be too clever here, you will end up not taking any action. So the solution is not more thinking, it's action.

YOU CANNOT THINK YOUR WAY INTO SKILLS WITH GIRLS. You must go in the field and take the blows. All the shit that will arise, you will deal with as it arises.

Pickup requires courage.

Edited December 21, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Jayson G]

@Leo Gura can you expand on what you said about game making you a stronger man?

I recently got back into serious game, daily approaching, even taking a train into manhattan daily just to do serious game, and yesterday I did 3 approaches after 6 months, but rather than with the intention of getting girls, my mind has been set on becoming a powerful man (partly because of what you said, how you cant explain it but it really does make you a powerful man, and what owen cook said in his blueprint course, about how this is really about developing deep internal value) .. 

In the past, I've gamed with the mindset that it will surely produce some good personality characteristics, but just from one day of cold approaching, yesterday, I felt a strong reduction in fear. I came home and set up the christmas tree, no hesitation, just effortless, something id leave to my family or maybe go thru hours of mental work just to get myself to do. I can really see that game can make me a powerful man. 

But since yesterday, Ive been curious as to why that is. How is something so simple as talking to girls, something that feels like an external "doing-based" activity, produce deep internal powerful change?

[Rishabh R]

@Leo Gura ok and what do you say on my classmates who have relationships without approaching random strangers and I approached more girls than them. What I did was worth it ? Even now also I am approaching my classmates and those girls are rejecting me calling me brother and later committing to some other guy. How do I reframe it ? One of my classmate told me to study and not approach a random stranger because of I do it nobody will save me from getting beaten by their boyfriends?By the way here are my statistics : 2 approaches per week in since last 6 months (girls who are my classmates).And continuing.

58 approaches(random stranger girls ) in previous semester which is 6 months . 

Edited December 21, 2023 by Rishabh R

[Leo Gura]

37 minutes ago, Jayson G said:

But since yesterday, Ive been curious as to why that is. How is something so simple as talking to girls, something that feels like an external "doing-based" activity, produce deep internal powerful change?

Because you are taking massive action and facing your fears. This creates an upward spiral of momentum.

[Leo Gura]

38 minutes ago, Rishabh R said:

@Leo Gura ok and what do you say on my classmates who have relationships without approaching random strangers and I approached more girls than them.

Stop comparing yourself to others. They are not you.

If your looks are really good or you are highly extroverted then getting girls is much much easier.

You have to work with the cards you've been dealt.

You just have to accept that some guys will get girls way easier than you, and such guys will never understand your struggles. So don't listen to them.

Edited December 21, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Jayson G]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because you are taking massive action and facing your fears. This creates an upward spiral of momentum.

Actually thats pretty clear, do that which you fear the most, and Id have to say that aside from game, life can be pretty comfortable as even intellectual business work is not as scary in many ways

[SeaMonster]

On 12/20/2023 at 3:41 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

On a serious note though... How does learning pickup give you strength or develop you as a man really, I'm not convinced by that argument.

It doesn't per se.

If you have basic deficits as a man, learning pickup won't directly address them.  It's like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound.

Like, if you have no passions or any idea where you're going in life or are neglecting self-care or appearance, things like that, learning the techniques of approaching and talking to women isn't going to do much good.

You have to get yourself to a point where talking to women is not a big deal at all (the opposite of what game reinforces.)  You get there from the inside out -- getting yourself right, and doing right for yourself.

The problem with most guys/game is low self-worth.  You are not going to be fully engaged and getting the right vibes across to a girl if that's an issue for you.  You work on the self-worth issue, and the rest is easy as pie.  You won't be self-conscious or desperate or try-hard.

Edited December 21, 2023 by SeaMonster

[Mannyb]

@SeaMonster Exactly straight to the point!@28 cm unbuffed You only approach girls because they are attractive! When you are attractive then… 😉

I actually want to expand on this hear me out. Would anyone approach unappealing women? That’s why it’s called attraction, if you want to attract you’ve to be attractive! I’m obviously not only referring to looks, let me make this clear. It’s about vibration, a magnetic resonance! Which reflects on the outside, as within so without so to speak. 

Edited December 21, 2023 by Mannyb

[PenguinPablo]

19 hours ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Israfil

Yeah, I'm doing that. With my career, with my university, and also with my YouTube channel. Plus exercise, plus martial arts, plus yoga (I'm also a polymath lol). I'm not that fast to open myself tho, so it might take some time (I'm a highly sensitive person / HSP) ;P

I'm just kind of mad because nice-looking girls are looking at me here and there and I have no balls to do a straight approach. But I think that's just not my nature, I'm too sensitive to just go in, hard as motherfucker.

 

 

Make it a habit to talk to x girls each day at school or each time you go out. 

Your mind is fooling you. Enough with this HSP nonsense. 

You could straight up just ask for directions to start

Edited December 21, 2023 by PenguinPablo

[SeaMonster]

7 hours ago, Mannyb said:

Which reflects on the outside, as within so without so to speak. 

Yup.  That's the entire "mystery" of pickup.

[Spiritedness]

@Leo Gura Were you going out alone every Fri/Sat solely to do pick-up? Asking cause, doing the cold approach aside, this requires a lot of courage in and of itself (people that have known you from the past may see you alone, criticism from others etc.)

[Leo Gura]

9 hours ago, Spiritedness said:

@Leo Gura Were you going out alone every Fri/Sat solely to do pick-up? Asking cause, doing the cold approach aside, this requires a lot of courage in and of itself (people that have known you from the past may see you alone, criticism from others etc.)

Most of my nights out were with wingmen. Maybe 90-95%.

Solo gaming is real hard when you start. But it grows you the most if you can muster the balls to do it.

If you want to seriously learn game, you must look for experienced wingmen who you can learn from.

Edited December 23, 2023 by Leo Gura

[The0Self]

Game is primarily vibe. Practicing approaching helps but more progress will come from internal shifts in confidence and also going through relationships — especially observing how women fall out of love with you.

When a man sees a woman on the street he can immediately tell if she’s a 7, 8, 9 etc on the sexual market, within about 1 point, because after talking to her or getting to know her a bit more that number can change in either direction by up to a point or so. For a man walking down the street though, a woman can only tell with an accuracy of a huge 5-7 or so point margin of error, in other words if he’s a 10 physically that means he’s at least a 3 but could very well be a 3… and if he’s a 3 physically he could be a 3, or a 1, or he could also be a 9 or 10 or anything in between. After talking to you and listening to your tone and your lack of calibrating what you say before you say it, and your body language, she has a much better idea… but she still won’t really know where it is until she’s been with you for like 3 months… and as soon as your value is seen as below hers, she will look down on you, which is fair because she previously looked up to you while you were, in her mind, concealing your true value.

The way you prevent that from happening is to be a question mark. Because a woman’s love for a man is highly based on the feeling associated with the question “does he love me or does he not love me?” As she will only be in love with you if she thinks your value is higher than hers.

Even self improvement, in terms of its use in game, serves one primary purpose: to teach you how much women simply don’t even care about that… it’s a drop in the bucket relative to your true sex value, in other words your ability to have beautiful women stay in love with you (which comes from your ability to not be emotionally attached to her and your ability to walk away with zero hesitation).

Edited December 23, 2023 by The0Self

[28 cm unbuffed]

@PenguinPablo

Yes and no. My mind is fooling me, that's for sure. Honestly, I have no idea why I'm such a loser in this area of life. I didn't have any positive experiences with women. I know it sounds bizarre, but that's my sad reality.

@The0Self

In my case, it was rather that the girls were falling in love with me after knowing me better and better lol, not the other way around.

Whatever you say sounds true, but that has nothing to do with approaching strangers and talking to them, it still seems a little bit out there 🤷

I can't imagine going to a bar in the evening (or even doing the same on the street), approaching a stranger there, talking to her and it's all like smooth, we talk, whatever. It doesn't sound realistic or doable. Maybe if you're a tall, handsome, rich, Spanish, 50 Shades of Grey type of guy, then yeah, maybe.

But still, it would look weird on the street even if that guy did that. If you're not that guy in the club that I mentioned, they will look at you like you're weird and sue you for harassment if you don't go away lmao. Don't want to be negative or something here, but what I'm talking about sounds like reality and what happens (at least in my country) and what I observed. If you're not tall and super handsome, girls will of course shame you and ridicule you, let's be honest here, if you're the Grey guy, they will think you're the most charming and confident guy because you walked up to her.

That's how females act, that's brutal, harsh, and fucked up 🤷 

That's why I'm not so eager to do a game really. And it's not like "It's just your belief dude", no, I did that even with neutral agenda, like asking for a direction or something and girls are just like that towards you if you're not good-looking, they're just acting like bitches, you're nothing to them🤷

Bitch look, "Go away", "you're like a worm to me", yeah, let's dedicate 2-5 years of my life to pursue that, sounds inspirational. @Leo Gura

Of course, there will be cases where a girl will talk to you, be somehow nice, maybe even give you her number or something and these happened to me too. But it's only because she doesn't want to be rude, she does that but it's not really being a good person or anything, it's like a nice guy syndrome for a woman rather. Other than these two kinds of responses, I didn't have anything other than that really, positives were only slutty girls that wanted to fuck and then ghosted you if you are not being the fuck-tool, that they were looking for. Zero empathy, cold-ass ghosting with no remorse, see you later 🙄

Edited December 23, 2023 by 28 cm unbuffed