Jayson G

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About Jayson G

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  1. Thats what I had a feeling that it could be too, but Im also not sure. Im debating between a) it's me not facing what I should be to progress on the spiritual journey, or b) it's just some trauma that needs to be released and nothing particularly about spirituality. The problem is this stuff can be so vague and intangible, these unique experiences, that its hard to make sense of it. I'm def glad im taking a break though, and I know I'll return to spirituality, so regardless it might just auto-correct itself.
  2. Oh damn, I can see how thats true .. I walk a good amount every day, but I don't do anything solid like go to the gym. I'll likely get back on that. I have done, and continue to do a ton of different meditations: Wim hof, do nothing, mindfulness meditation, hatha yoga, etc. I just now do whatever I feel like like though, whenever.
  3. I'll keep it really short. I've been meditating for about 10 years now. Over the past year though I've been very on off with meditation, because I decided to stop directly pursuing spirituality. Partly driven by bad psychedelic experiences, bad weed experiences, meditation going too deep I felt disoriented for months, having a weird episode of reality just twisting inside out sort of, but then all returning back to normal. I'm mostly normal now. Sometimes when I'm outside, like looking at the ocean, I get into this really deep spiritual type state. It's hard to describe. I'm still me though always. It does freak me out a bit, so I just have to move my body and not be still otherwise it goes too deep. Or for ex. if I meditate just 15 minutes, really deeply at night, when its completely silent, it goes so deep that it gets scary. What's odd though is that I remember a long period of 5+ years where I'd meditate and sure sometimes it went pretty deep, but just a deep peace or something. It was grounded. But now when I go deep, it feels like it goes deep in scary ways. It's hard to describe. I have some coping mechanisms. And I have some trauma associated with this, which is slowly going. But I'm making this post because just now the freakiest thing happened. I got back from enjoying my dad's birthday, laughing with family and eating and stuff, layed back against my bed, and had this insane emotional release, but it was so much that I couldn't control it, and it got uncomfortable at one point and stuff. Is any of this cause for concern? I'm mostly just letting phenomena arise and pass. How should I make sense of this? anyone experience anything related? Just looking for insight on this situation. I'm mostly not worried, because I feel I have recovered mostly. But I can still see that I'm much more sensitive now, spriritually, if that makes sense. Is there a way to make that sensitivity go? Because a lot of that seems to be going away, but a good amount seems that it will be there now because I've already done many years of spiritual work.
  4. @Ramanujan I'm sorta in a similar boat. It's going back to what Leo said. It's likely you're not taking nearly enough action as you should be, just as I have not been. A month ago, I started reading this book called "relentless", by Tim Grover. He was the mental coach for Michael Jordan, and Kobe Bryant and many others. Those 2 athletes are considered some of the greatest athletes of all time, with unbelievable discipline, ambition and hard-work. So yeah I encourage you to listen to that audiobook every day and live by that. For some time maybe drop any other philosophy because it usually tends to counteract a truly ambitious philosophy. Commit to being an ambitious person.
  5. @Leo Gura Then couldnt there be an argument for not creating a good life for oneself? to be more in touch with survival? If trying to get a nice house, live in a good country, be peaceful, get relationship needs met, etc. or does any of this personal dev work even matter really? if its all just bullshit in the face of a crocodile? I get that life is beyond that truth-wise, but ultimately life seems pointless. Or is this crocodile thing just a perspective, which I know it is, but it feels like this has limitations.
  6. Yeah tbh I only read the AI paper for how to use AI masterfully, not for the politics, as I think many people on the forum. Although of course politics is important too. But regardless .. people are mostly going to be glad that you're back with another video. There's always a lot to learn with each video you put out, regardless of the content topic.
  7. @Leo Gura damn .. well a surprise is better
  8. I'm calling it now: It's a political analysis related video: Leo's been commenting on that a lot lately, has a 60 page paper about that with AI, and the 2024 US elections are coming up. @Leo Gura am I right?
  9. @Leo Gura fyi, I didnt need to relogin to the forum .. in case that helps
  10. @Leo Gura I dont know about the escalation of these wars, or other doomsday stuff, but I do think nuclear war is a very serious concern. If you watch this, she's pretty credible, a journalist focused on documenting the truth, spoken to a lot of credible people around the world and stuff .. after I listened to this, Im sure that nuclear was is like very serious she also has a nice voice
  11. That does seem like a life that is more real .. its a bit different for me as my highest priority is philosophy, even if I do have these other pursuits, but I can definitely see the profound lesson here to make life much more about this other real stuff.
  12. @Leo Gura and does it take a lot of this theorizing that can feel like BS at times, to reach occassional moments of genuine insight and deep understanding? Is this theorizing the path? kind of like scouring a large pile of shit for golden nuggets?
  13. Highest Truth, yeah thats something I struggle with ... I have this fear of it, so I partly go for it, yet I do seek truth I guess, maybe lowercase truth, or as much truth as I can stomache .. but good point, I also think prioritizing truth is key
  14. @Leo Gura "However, proper contemplation and study can produce serious and valuable insight and understanding into the nature of reality and any systems within it. Do not discount the importance of high quality sensemaking and serious understanding that's grounded in direct experience and genuine insight rather than speculation, belief, and fantasy. The real work is in seeing past the fantasies to see how nature really works." - What's the difference though, between valuable insight and deep understanding vs. all the other bullshit? Like at one point, after watching your video "valuable things require development over time", after like 40 times watching it, the 40th time or something, it hit me that this is a video on "investing", and that there's a whole field on investing, and so Ive been digging deep on investing, opportunity cost, intangible assets with time, etc. and so I got into that rabbit hole. That time it hit me that there's a whole field on investing, felt like a genuine insight I had, but even all that still feels like mental masturbation. Investing principles has practical value that I apply in real life, but I mean even that just seems metaphorical? Am I making the mistake in thinking that metaphorical is bullshit? Or is it that "valuable insight and understanding" goes beyond metaphor? "A healthy life is something like 80% action and practical affairs and only 20% pure philosophy. If you get this ratio backwards you will run into problems." In terms of living a good life, wow I didn't even think about this. I can definitely see myself being a LOT happier and on-top of life if I restructured life to be in this just 20% philosophy path. I pretty much think all day, and now Im becoming conscious of how much that holds me back.
  15. This has been on my mind for a while. To start off, like many of you, I love philosophy. In fact, it's, as of my understanding, my #1 deepest passion. I can't see anything more meaningful than philosophy, to understand the world, reality, life, myself, others. It's both meaningful and fun. But as I pursue this passion, a few key concerns come up, serious ones, that keep persisting, and have overlaps: Is it 90% to 100% metaphorical? intellectual? Idea-based? If so, is it even real? Or is it just creating stories and fantasies in my head? I'm talking something as simple as understanding science or investing for example, or engaging with ChatGPT for hours on any topic, spiritual or non-spiritual. I know it has immense practical value, as I've experienced it in my own life. But in the end 95% feels like mental masturbation, bullshit, time-waste, unnecessary thinking, stories, fantasies, nice ideas, etc. I also remember Leo's post about Hayao Miyazaki, and that really inspired me, because there's this part of me that really loves art. But I try pursuing art and although I feel more myself, feel alive, feel this sense of magic when I do art, philosophy is more meaningful to me because of the impact I will have as well as meaningful for my own personal life. So how do you deal with this, if art is something you're deeply passionate about as well, or even more passionate about in some ways? There are philosophical components to art, so that's nice, but often it feels better to pursue philosophy directly, it feels more real, and less disillusioning with life. Is all this intellectualizing healthy? Is it healthy for the mind and body? Is it disillusioning me with life instead of the opposite? Are these problems a natural consequence of doing philosophy, and should be accepted or is this a matter of doing something wrong? Maybe there's a way of doing philosophy that doesn't incur such problems? I'm saying all this while also pursuing as much direct experience as possible, new novel experiences as well, etc. but the amount of experience I gain is no where close to the amount of philosophy I do. So does that just become armchair at that point? Any books or sources that can help do philosophy right, without incurring such problems? @Leo Gura how have you approached this in your life, solved these problems or dealt with them? are these to be accepted or is it a matter of doing better philosophy? I've been struggling with this for years, and as I go deeper this seems to be a bigger problem. Anyone else solve some of these problems?