oldhandle

I need to get over a particular girl in my social group. I was having sex with her...

12 posts in this topic

I need to get over a particular girl in my social group. I was having sex with her and we were moving toward dating, and then she told me that if I were to become her serious boyfriend, I would need to convert to her religion - she is Muslim and I am not, and I have no interest in converting, so it's essentially a deal breaker. She has kept our sexual relationship quiet among all our mutual friends, of which we have many, and so have I - they all think we are just friends, but the truth is we've been together sexually at least 15 times.

I'm still so attracted to her whenever I see her at get togethers with my friends and I know she is to me too. I do not want to stop being friends with all our friends, but I also do not want to keep the interest in one another alive by continuing a sexual relationship that can never go anywhere. I want to successfully be "strictly friends".

The thing is, the idea of her being with other guys still gets me jealous. I know she hung out with another guy from our group for a while and I felt strong jealousy, despite the fact that we're both single and aren't actually dating one another. I really want to stay friends with her as she's a good person I really care about, but I honestly would have surely wanted to date her if it weren't for this religious incompatibility.

I know it's difficult, but I know there must be a way for me to move on, be truly just friends with her without me having to stop associating with her or our friend group. To truly just be friends with her and stop my emotions of still wanting her or being jealous if I imagine her with another guy. I'm looking for advice on how to do so. Thank you.

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Go out and learn to meet new women. You will find more amazing women than her and then it will be very easy to let her go.


Connect with me on Instagram: instagram.com/miguetran

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Start working on yourself, use her essence as motivation to be a better man. Get to a point where you're so fucking sick that she doesn't need you to change religions. Why is she trying to change you anyway? 

To become that guy, you have to meet new girls, become more mature, improve your looks, improve your physique, improve your relationship to your mother, improve your relationship to God, improve anything and everything that you can. Aim high, very fucking high. 

This work is beyond just one girl, but use her as motivation at least to start. 

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55 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Start working on yourself, use her essence as motivation to be a better man. Get to a point where you're so fucking sick that she doesn't need you to change religions. Why is she trying to change you anyway? 

This situation sounds like "I can't introduce you to my family if you're not Muslim."  I assume "serious bf" = "introduce to family."

Depending on how devout/serious they are, they may be expecting marriage if he's introduced.

So he can be as "sick" as is humanly possible, and it still wouldn't change the fundamental situation.

 

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13 hours ago, oldhandle said:

I need to get over a particular girl in my social group. I was having sex with her and we were moving toward dating, and then she told me that if I were to become her serious boyfriend, I would need to convert to her religion - she is Muslim and I am not, and I have no interest in converting, so it's essentially a deal breaker. She has kept our sexual relationship quiet among all our mutual friends, of which we have many, and so have I - they all think we are just friends, but the truth is we've been together sexually at least 15 times.

well well well.  The truth is that you'll probably have sex once again, who knows how much more time if you're sharing the exact environment. 

But you're in "adventage."  Because you don't require nothing of her, she requires something of you.   She wants you to convert muslim if things are to escalate forward, but of course you won't do it.  So if it's such a big problem to her she'll have to find a way to pass on you..  


If you want to make it easier for her probably the best thing is that you start visiting other girls in your life and keep your sex life active with them..  
Of course then the probabilities are that she's gonna get even more attracted.. But it's her problem in a way because again, you don't expect anything of her and she wants you to convert to be her boyfriend..

 

13 hours ago, oldhandle said:

The thing is, the idea of her being with other guys still gets me jealous. I know she hung out with another guy from our group for a while and I felt strong jealousy, despite the fact that we're both single and aren't actually dating one another. I really want to stay friends with her as she's a good person I really care about, but I honestly would have surely wanted to date her if it weren't for this religious incompatibility.

Yes your best shot is to start hanging out with other girls that have even better qualities perhaps.. But that might even not solve the probelm. It's ok bro..

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Just say you are and keep banging. When you want to break up say Jesus talked to you and you are a Christian now. It literally means nothing its a made up belief system you can be all of them at the same time they all worship the same god. 

If you are religious now worshipping Allah is the same as worshipping any God you are now. 

Only difference is you have labeled yourself as one or the other and they have too you can be all labels 

Edited by Hojo

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What exactly is the problem here. You want to be friends with her, you feel jelly. Ok.

Don't try to stop emotions. Feel them.

What does it feel like when you are jealous?

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21 hours ago, Hojo said:

Just say you are and keep banging. When you want to break up say Jesus talked to you and you are a Christian now.

This is the best advice I've ever heard 

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On 11/2/2023 at 9:36 PM, Raze said:

You are still the funniest guy on these forums. Anytime someone complains about relationships you just drop these links. If anything you are very consistent.


You are a selfless LACK OF APPEARANCE, that CONSTRUCTS AN APPEARANCE. But that appearance can disappear and reappear and we call that change, we call it time, we call it space, we call it distance, we call distinctness, we call it other. But notice...this appearance, is a SELF. A SELF IS A CONSTRUCTION!!! 

So if you want to know the TRUTH OF THE CONSTRUCTION. Just deconstruct the construction!!!! No point in playing these mind games!!! No point in creating needless complexity!!! The truth of what you are is a BLANK!!!! A selfless awareness....then that means there is NO OTHER, and everything you have ever perceived was JUST AN APPEARANCE, A MIRAGE, AN ILLUSION, IMAGINARY. 

Everything that appears....appears out of a lack of appearance/void/no-thing, non-sense (can't be sensed because there is nothing to sense). That is what you are, and what arises...is made of that. So nonexistence, arises/creates existence. And thus everything is solved.

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21 hours ago, Razard86 said:

You are still the funniest guy on these forums. Anytime someone complains about relationships you just drop these links. If anything you are very consistent.

He posts these same 4 videos for any situation?

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