How to raise a child in a multilingual Family?

[slasher_kingsize]

Hi community in self-actualization,

We are a multi-culture family with 3 main + 2 secondary/optional languages involved. I have a language, she has another, they have completly different and distant origins and we speack mostly english with each other and a bit of each other's languange. We are learning each other's language and she is already much more advanced in learning mine than I am learning hers.
I am preparing myself mentally for the idea of raising a child and I am not sure what is the best way to aproach this.

I heard some ideas that is best for each parent to only speak his mother tongue with the child and leave english for each other and for later but I'm a newbie in this topic.

I have some questions, such as:

1. Should we only speak english with each other in front of the kid or can we mix like we do now?
2. When is good to start introducing one of the secondary languages?
3. My worries are about the kid's learning and growing process and not mixing things up and become overloaded and gain some speaking trauma, how to avoid confusion?

Do you have tips about this issue?
Are there any book recomendation about this?

[Alexop]

speak in the language of the country you live in, then if your kid is interested in learning your other languages, teach it those also.

[Leo Gura]

Just switch to English. Later you can introduce parts of other languages.

[Hello from Russia]

That's a really complex topic, I'd buy a coaching on this issue from someone who's been in a situation like yours and got great results for their child if I were you

 

[itsadistraction]

@slasher_kingsizeextra languages are great, kids will appreciate the free languages later in life. If you live in an English speaking country don't worry about teaching them English too much since they will pick that up outside the home and online. 

Its better in my experience to teach kids the secondary languages first, since those will quickly become "uncool" and a chore for the kids once they realize that Enlgish is usually the only language they need and is the language of internet and pop culture. 

What are the languages?!where do you guys live? 

This forum isn't for raising kids so you better consult experts on this field to get better advice.

Edited October 17, 2023 by itsadistraction

[Schizophonia]

4 hours ago, slasher_kingsize said:

 

1. My worries are about the kid's learning and growing process and not mixing things up and become overloaded and gain some speaking trauma, how to avoid confusion?

lol

[Princess Arabia]

I'm not an expert at this nor do I have kids, but as @Nabdsaid and from what I understand about kids, they are highly adaptable and pick up the slightest thing. I think if you just continue how you normally communicate, they will adapt and learn both languages with ease and without confusion. Kids are more conscious than you think but not in a logical way, and since they have less resistance to the nature of things they will adapt to it more easily than if you were trying to manipulate the situation with your logical mind. 

If you had to make a choice though, I would go with the main language of the country you are in, which I assume is English, but you didn't say where you live so that's just a guess. 

[slasher_kingsize]

Thanks for the opinions guys,

@itsadistractionYes I didn't say and context may be important, the country's language we live in is not english, we live in Portugal. Her language is Armenian. Everyone young knows english because we learn in school and is a big part of the internet.

Yes I know this is not a parenting forum. I may read a book about it, and consult an expert on this matter if I find one

@Judy2 @Leo Gura Because we live in Portugal the kid will anyways learn it interacting with other people and life. The thing is that I think it's not fair if they don't learn my wife's language. It's also important that the kid interacts with her parent which don't speak english.

I also wonder if I wait until he/she goes to school to begin learning how to speak, he could get behind in the beginning related to other kids affecting his self esteem and build an early ego of being slow and behind 

@Nabd @Princess Arabia I am also half German and speak it well because my dad always talked to me in German until I was like 5 despite we lived in Portugal. But in their case there were only 2 languages involved and until quite late I could only listen and understand German but always reply in Portuguese and never say a German word and then only one day that i don't remember what happened I started speaking very well

Edited October 17, 2023 by slasher_kingsize

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, slasher_kingsize said:

Yes I know this is not a parenting forum. I may read a book about it, and consult an expert on this matter if I find one

It's OK. You posted in the right sub-forum, which includes family. So, you could still get good advice from some people here and some may have personal hands-on experience with this topic. You just didn't state what country you were in at first, so I presume we all thought it was an English-speaking country as its first language.

[itsadistraction]

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

It's OK. You posted in the right sub-forum, which includes family. So, you could still get good advice from some people here and some may have personal hands-on experience with this topic. You just didn't state what country you were in at first, so I presume we all thought it was an English-speaking country as its first language.

True.@slasher_kingsize Please feel free to post anything you want. I shouldn't discredit the whole forum since you can find really good advice on here on many topics indeed. 

[Raze]

Do nor speak English at home, use your native languages 

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-immigrant-paradox-why-are-children-of-immigrants-doing-better

 

children do not get confused by multiple languages, they should learn them automatically if exposed at the right age

[Rigel]

I am teaching music to preschool kids in a city where we have French and English as official languages. We speak both of them interchangeably. Like one sentence will be French and the next English. Kids are very good at learning all of that. They can make the distinction later about which is which but they can speak and understand both.(as much as you can expect from a 4ish year old)

 I don’t have experience with more languages than that but three doesn’t seem that far of a stretch.

[slasher_kingsize]

Thanks, for the advices!

I am thinking to introduce at first the native languages and a little later on english, but I am going to read one or more books about it first.