Experiment: Being Honest and Truthful for a Day

[caspex]

To elaborate, being honest and truthful would not mean anything along the lines of giving out your credit card number if someone asks for it. You can deny requests and all that.

• However, it does mean that if you do choose to say something it has to be truthful and honest, to what you know and feel, to the best of your ability.
• This also involves no sugarcoating things you want to say, making sure the person you are trying to convey something to really does get what you mean.
• This also means doing everything you'd say you do. If you say you'll go to the movies a few days later in this period, you will go to the movies a few days later. Meaning that you have be a lot more careful with what you decide to say.
• This involves being truthful and honest even in writing anything onto online forums, chatrooms, comment sections etc. and not simply speech.
• If you are not able to be truthful and honest for something, you still continue onward until the period is over.
• And not doing all the things, that I can't think of, that are in bad faith in trying to find a loophole and such to being truthful and honest.

At first thought, it seems bad for the purposes of survival, but I can't help but intuit there is something more to it. It would really test my limits and show me how truthful and authentic I am truly willing to be. I intuit that practicing truthfulness and honesty in your words would infuse them with power. To give an example, if you want to commit to reading an hour everyday until some book is finished, you'd simply say that you'd do so, and magically you'll gain the energy and motivation to do so until you complete the task, simply because your words have become so powerful to yourself.

But I don't know if such a thing can happen or not, and if yes, to what extent. This is why I have decided to do this, starting from when I post this, to 24 hours later. I'll post what I have learnt here tomorrow. If the experience wills it, I'll recommit and possibly go for another period of truthfulness.

If any of you want to do this along with me, feel free to do so and post your report in this thread.

[Kuba Powiertowski]

For 100% it’s very tough challenge. But if one succeeds, it may be a game changer for rest of life.

[An young being]

45 minutes ago, Kuba Powiertowski said:

For 100% it’s very tough challenge. But if one succeeds, it may be a game changer for rest of life.

Sounds true!

[Razard86]

11 hours ago, Swarnim said:

To elaborate, being honest and truthful would not mean anything along the lines of giving out your credit card number if someone asks for it. You can deny requests and all that.

• However, it does mean that if you do choose to say something it has to be truthful and honest, to what you know and feel, to the best of your ability.
• This also involves no sugarcoating things you want to say, making sure the person you are trying to convey something to really does get what you mean.
• This also means doing everything you'd say you do. If you say you'll go to the movies a few days later in this period, you will go to the movies a few days later. Meaning that you have be a lot more careful with what you decide to say.
• This involves being truthful and honest even in writing anything onto online forums, chatrooms, comment sections etc. and not simply speech.
• If you are not able to be truthful and honest for something, you still continue onward until the period is over.
• And not doing all the things, that I can't think of, that are in bad faith in trying to find a loophole and such to being truthful and honest.

At first thought, it seems bad for the purposes of survival, but I can't help but intuit there is something more to it. It would really test my limits and show me how truthful and authentic I am truly willing to be. I intuit that practicing truthfulness and honesty in your words would infuse them with power. To give an example, if you want to commit to reading an hour everyday until some book is finished, you'd simply say that you'd do so, and magically you'll gain the energy and motivation to do so until you complete the task, simply because your words have become so powerful to yourself.

But I don't know if such a thing can happen or not, and if yes, to what extent. This is why I have decided to do this, starting from when I post this, to 24 hours later. I'll post what I have learnt here tomorrow. If the experience wills it, I'll recommit and possibly go for another period of truthfulness.

If any of you want to do this along with me, feel free to do so and post your report in this thread.

It's a good start but I'll spoil the movie for you. Pros: You will become incredibly aware of your inconsistencies, and will be able to deal with them. Con: You will turn honesty into an identity and will have little tolerance for the dishonesty of others. This will cause you to speak out against said dishonesty and you will be viewed as a demon by others. As such your conflict and suffering will increase. 

But go for it....just know whichever path you point toward....it's opposite must be felt. As they are One. 

Edited October 10, 2023 by Razard86

[gettoefl]

i only say what you understand

else there is no communication

truth is intent not content

truth raises your consciousness

lies lower your consciousness

[Salvijus]

42 minutes ago, gettoefl said:

i only say what you understand

else there is no communication

truth is intent not content

truth raises your consciousness

lies lower your consciousness

Dope

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, gettoefl said:

i only say what you understand

else there is no communication

truth is intent not content

truth raises your consciousness

lies lower your consciousness

I love how wise you are. I also love how simple you present it. If only this were taught in elementary schools around the world. 

[gettoefl]

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

I love how wise you are. I also love how simple you present it. If only this were taught in elementary schools around the world. 

takes one to know one, love your passion and persistence, you inspire me ?

[caspex]

I wanted to post this 12 hours ago as promised however I have gotten sick once again so I could not.

I lied twice but did rectify it by stating the truth. However, it was fascinating to see how I lied almost without thought in fear of the repercussions. I also wanted to conceal things which I ought to reveal, which I did do eventually. Overall I was more truthful and honest and the most major effect from that was my integration as a single person. Every time one lies or conceals something, or acts dishonestly, they create a distinction between them as appearing outside vs. them as inside. These separations eventually pile up and get buried deep inside you and are rarely resolved. You become more fragmented the more you lie. Truthfulness as a principle is necessary for the sake spiritual growth. Integrity is a very literal world in that it means literally being integrated within into one being.

I found myself often obsessing and getting confused over the details of the words that I am saying, but I realized that my words do not matter as much as the meaning portrayed by them. Moreover, it's less about being truthful to others than it is being to yourself.

I followed through all the promises I made during the period and it was eye-opening to see how many time I say I'll do something without thinking much on it. Since I did say those things, I did do them and taught me to think more on my words. What's more is that truthfulness as a principle encourages one to speak in a more probabilistic way because you are not sure about most things in life. The use of the words 'maybe' 'perhaps' 'I guess' and such also drastically increase so as to save yourself from making a commitment or to conceal some meaning in your words. This makes you look very unsure as a person. This is an ego-game and must be eliminated.

So, along with one being truthful, one should also make it a principle to speak only absolute statements as is possible given the situation, unless of course the situation is of a probabilistic nature or the situation calls for probabilistic statements. If one doesn't really mean anything by something, or one's words don't add anything to the world, whether a lie or a truth or something else, one should not speak at all. If one is not sure about something, one should admit it separately, and if one doesn't know something one should admit it without talking in circles. None of this is without nuance, but I am plotting out what I have learned here broadly.

One situation that occurs when one is honest about their not-knowing is that they appear less 'intelligent' in the colloquial sense. The reason is that most people know very little about most things, but do not admit so and say one or the other to hide their not knowing. Compare them with yourself, who is truthful about their not knowing, it's easy to be seen as someone who knows less. This is only a problem if being seen as intelligent is in line with your goals, if it's not, and only for pride then one should deal with it within themselves.

I think I am going to continue this experiment of being truthful and honest to the best of my ability. Sticking to my word is not something I am good at so I need to develop this capability.
 

On 10/10/2023 at 8:14 AM, Razard86 said:

Con: You will turn honesty into an identity and will have little tolerance for the dishonesty of others. This will cause you to speak out against said dishonesty and you will be viewed as a demon by others. As such your conflict and suffering will increase. 

@Razard86 Thanks for the heads up, I noticed this develop within me at the very start of the day. However, I rectified it by detaching from that identity. I love myself as a liar, therefore I love others as a liar as well. Lying and dishonesty in the rest of the world is not something I can fix but I can work on it within myself for the betterment of my spirituality. I understand that as I become more honest and truthful, it will become harder to stay detached but that's also part of the experiment.
 

20 hours ago, gettoefl said:

truth is intent not content

@gettoefl Thanks, this phrase is very meaningful and something I can easily forget. I'll use this to remind myself what it really means to be truthful until it's ingrained in my brain. However I would appreciate it if you elaborate on this point.





 

[Yimpa]

On 10/10/2023 at 3:37 AM, Razard86 said:

If only this were taught in elementary schools around the world. 

In elementary school I was taught that being too mystical will make you lose your mind.

Boy, am I glad that lesson can be recontextualized ? 

[gettoefl]

6 hours ago, Swarnim said:

 

@gettoefl Thanks, this phrase is very meaningful and something I can easily forget. I'll use this to remind myself what it really means to be truthful until it's ingrained in my brain. However I would appreciate it if you elaborate on this point.
 

here is the question, when i speak am i trying to help you or am i trying to help me

in general when speaking do i want to help you or to correct you

if i speak my honest truth, does it matter whether or not you understand it

should i change what i say based on who i am speaking to

am i honest with myself at all times and how do i assess how honest i am with myself

will my understanding of honesty and truth remain fixed or does it change over time and if so why would it change

is my truth the same as the truth and if not how are they different

[caspex]

@gettoefl Much appreciated.

[PurpleTree]

good important topic

 

 

 

 

 

sorry that was a lie

 

 

 

 

jk 

[gettoefl]

25 minutes ago, Swarnim said:

@gettoefl Much appreciated.

well done on a valuable fascinating experiment, thank you for sharing it, i look forward to updates when you are able

[PurpleTree]

I’ve read this book radical honesty once

it’s good but my issue is often inhave conflicting thoughts, then i’m not even sure what my truth is

[gettoefl]

27 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

I’ve read this book radical honesty once

it’s good but my issue is often inhave conflicting thoughts, then i’m not even sure what my truth is

seems a great read, here is what chat-gpt says

Quote

"Radical Honesty" by Dr. Brad Blanton challenges several conventional ideas and beliefs about communication, honesty, and personal well-being. Here's a list of some of the ideas that the book challenges:

White Lies: The belief that it's acceptable to tell small, well-intentioned lies to avoid hurting others' feelings.

Withholding the Truth: The tendency to withhold information or hide one's thoughts and feelings, even from oneself, in various situations.

Politeness Over Honesty: Prioritizing social politeness and decorum over radical honesty, even when it leads to inauthenticity.

Guilt and Shame: The idea that guilt and shame should be suppressed or avoided, rather than confronted and openly acknowledged.

Consequences of Honesty: The expectation that being completely honest may not always lead to positive outcomes and that accepting the consequences is part of the process.

Honesty in Relationships: The notion that it's acceptable to keep certain thoughts and feelings hidden from intimate partners to maintain a sense of harmony.

Emotional Suppression: The tendency to suppress or deny one's emotions, which the book suggests can lead to psychological and emotional distress.

Feedback and Criticism: The avoidance of giving and receiving honest feedback and criticism due to fear of confrontation or discomfort.

Inner Turmoil: The idea that suppressing one's true thoughts and feelings can lead to inner turmoil and a sense of disconnection from oneself.

Authenticity: Challenging the notion that authenticity can be achieved without being radically honest in communication and self-expression.

"Radical Honesty" encourages readers to reevaluate these ideas and consider the potential benefits of adopting a more open, honest, and authentic approach to communication and self-awareness. However, it's important to note that the book's approach may not be suitable for all situations or individuals, and it has generated both support and controversy.

here is the flip side, making for the controversy this book has garnered according to chat-gpt

Quote

"Radical Honesty" by Dr. Brad Blanton has generated controversy and debate for a variety of reasons. Here are some of the key points of controversy associated with the book and its principles:

Hurtful Communication: One of the main points of contention is that the practice of radical honesty, if not exercised with care and empathy, can lead to hurtful and offensive communication. Critics argue that being brutally honest can cause emotional harm and damage relationships.

Social Norms and Politeness: Some people believe that certain social norms and politeness are essential for maintaining harmonious interactions in society. They argue that "Radical Honesty" dismisses these norms entirely, which can be seen as disruptive and offensive.

Applicability: Critics argue that the approach advocated in the book is not universally applicable. While it might work well for some individuals, professions, or relationships, it may not be suitable for all situations, and a more nuanced approach to communication may be necessary.

Lack of Tact: Dr. Blanton's approach to honesty may be seen as lacking tact and sensitivity, particularly in situations where diplomatic communication is essential, such as the workplace or in professional settings.

Ethical Dilemmas: The book's principles may present ethical dilemmas, especially when it comes to situations where truth-telling could harm others or betray trust.

Effect on Personal Relationships: Some individuals may find it challenging to maintain personal relationships if they adhere strictly to radical honesty, as it can lead to constant conflicts or discomfort.

Ineffectiveness in Diplomacy: In diplomatic, political, or negotiations contexts, radical honesty may not be effective, and strategic or nuanced communication may be preferred.

Psychological Health: Critics argue that not all psychological issues can be addressed simply through the practice of radical honesty, and it may oversimplify complex mental health challenges.

It's important to note that while "Radical Honesty" has generated controversy, it also has its supporters who argue that it can lead to personal growth, deeper self-awareness, and more authentic relationships. The key is to approach its principles thoughtfully and adapt them to one's specific context and relationships. The book serves as a provocative exploration of the role of honesty and authenticity in communication, but it may not be a one-size-fits-all solution for everyone.

 

Edited October 11, 2023 by gettoefl

[itsadistraction]

@Swarnimgreat idea, I will try this challenge today. it would be nice to have routine challenges on the forum.

In the political section for example: "find someone with the opposite political opinion as you and agree with them or try not to disagree with them at least"

Relationship section: "make small talk with someone whom you usually would ignore"

Edited October 11, 2023 by itsadistraction

[caspex]

I forgot to mention it in my report earlier, one key point I have realized is that being truthful and honest as a principal encourages you strongly to not do 'bad' actions in the first place. Since you know you cannot lie about it later, you are better off not doing such things in the first place. It also encourages you to promise very carefully. So far, I have seen nothing but positives.

[Razard86]

20 hours ago, Swarnim said:

I wanted to post this 12 hours ago as promised however I have gotten sick once again so I could not.

I lied twice but did rectify it by stating the truth. However, it was fascinating to see how I lied almost without thought in fear of the repercussions. I also wanted to conceal things which I ought to reveal, which I did do eventually. Overall I was more truthful and honest and the most major effect from that was my integration as a single person. Every time one lies or conceals something, or acts dishonestly, they create a distinction between them as appearing outside vs. them as inside. These separations eventually pile up and get buried deep inside you and are rarely resolved. You become more fragmented the more you lie. Truthfulness as a principle is necessary for the sake spiritual growth. Integrity is a very literal world in that it means literally being integrated within into one being.

I found myself often obsessing and getting confused over the details of the words that I am saying, but I realized that my words do not matter as much as the meaning portrayed by them. Moreover, it's less about being truthful to others than it is being to yourself.

I followed through all the promises I made during the period and it was eye-opening to see how many time I say I'll do something without thinking much on it. Since I did say those things, I did do them and taught me to think more on my words. What's more is that truthfulness as a principle encourages one to speak in a more probabilistic way because you are not sure about most things in life. The use of the words 'maybe' 'perhaps' 'I guess' and such also drastically increase so as to save yourself from making a commitment or to conceal some meaning in your words. This makes you look very unsure as a person. This is an ego-game and must be eliminated.

So, along with one being truthful, one should also make it a principle to speak only absolute statements as is possible given the situation, unless of course the situation is of a probabilistic nature or the situation calls for probabilistic statements. If one doesn't really mean anything by something, or one's words don't add anything to the world, whether a lie or a truth or something else, one should not speak at all. If one is not sure about something, one should admit it separately, and if one doesn't know something one should admit it without talking in circles. None of this is without nuance, but I am plotting out what I have learned here broadly.

One situation that occurs when one is honest about their not-knowing is that they appear less 'intelligent' in the colloquial sense. The reason is that most people know very little about most things, but do not admit so and say one or the other to hide their not knowing. Compare them with yourself, who is truthful about their not knowing, it's easy to be seen as someone who knows less. This is only a problem if being seen as intelligent is in line with your goals, if it's not, and only for pride then one should deal with it within themselves.

I think I am going to continue this experiment of being truthful and honest to the best of my ability. Sticking to my word is not something I am good at so I need to develop this capability.
 

@Razard86 Thanks for the heads up, I noticed this develop within me at the very start of the day. However, I rectified it by detaching from that identity. I love myself as a liar, therefore I love others as a liar as well. Lying and dishonesty in the rest of the world is not something I can fix but I can work on it within myself for the betterment of my spirituality. I understand that as I become more honest and truthful, it will become harder to stay detached but that's also part of the experiment.
 

@gettoefl Thanks, this phrase is very meaningful and something I can easily forget. I'll use this to remind myself what it really means to be truthful until it's ingrained in my brain. However I would appreciate it if you elaborate on this point.





 

^^^^So much wisdom here!! You are wise beyond your years!! Keep going!! Rooting for you all the way!!!

[Yimpa]

As someone with autism, being honest and truthful is a curse. 

I need to be more untruthful if I want to be more authentic, as paradoxical as that sounds!