Female therapist said I might get arrested for showing girls other girls’ tiktoks

[Emotionalmosquito]

I’ve had this idea for some time now where I’ll make my cold approach consist of showing the girl or girls some tiktoks about a topic in which I’m very interested in order to facilitate a conversation of something I thoroughly enjoy hearing women talk about and to possibly (but not necessarily) steer the interaction towards an invitation for her to do something to me. (I don’t want to say exactly what it is as not to overshare) I know that me saying I don’t want to share it makes it seem like that’s obviously the reason I shouldn’t be doing it but trust me when I say it really isn’t that bad at all, especially considering girls are making viral videos about it. I’ve only field tested this once and it went ok, not great but not at all bad either. 

Here’s the kicker: As per the title, she literally told me this idea might get me arrested for sexual harassment! Wow. As if I needed any more reasons to be paranoid and terrified around women than I already have. I’m not mad at her. In fact I appreciate her being honest enough to tell me what she really thinks, but goddamn. Is nothing at all acceptable anymore besides just talking about the most boring, vanilla stuff there is? Just let that sink in. Basically what my therapist told me was that a girl can actually get me put in fucking jail for no more than making her feel a little uncomfortable.

If that isn’t oppression then what is?

Are women at risk of being arrested for talking to men about stuff they’re uncomfortable talking about? 

It’s not like I’m planning on relentlessly pestering girls about it. If they don’t want to discuss it with me that’s fine. Do I deserve to be incarcerated for showing a girl a tiktok video I like? Keep in mind the content in question isn’t even close to being inappropriate enough to think that would be necessary. If I could tell you what it is you’d see how utterly ridiculous of a thought that is. If anyone can help me out here I’d be grateful because the idea that i absolutely cannot be myself or talk about the stuff I’m passionate about with girls especially but also just people in general does not sit well with me at all.

[lostingenosmaze]

Kinda hard to tell if this is sexual harassment or not if you're not gonna tell us what it is. If you're worried about making people feel uncomfortable, just remember that someone here described how they lost their virginity and satisfied their kinks in vivid detail so you'll be fine!

Edited July 20, 2023 by lostingenosmaze

[Sugarcoat]

15 minutes ago, lostingenosmaze said:

If you're worried about making people feel uncomfortable, just remember that someone here described how they lost their virginity and satisfied their kinks in vivid detail so you'll be fine!

?????bruh

Edited July 20, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[PlayOnWords]

Lol. I don't know, man. As long as you're not showing them tiktoks of x-rated shit you should be fine.

How are you doing this approach? Literally just walking up to them like 'Hey, check this TikTok out'? Girls will be able to see that it's just a gimmick right off the bat. It may work to some degree with younger girls, like teens. If you're older than that, I suggest ditching this method. To a woman this is nothing more than some weird dude coming up to them with a hidden agenda. Women know that you want to fuck them so skip the bullshit.

But come on, tell us what the tiktoks are.

[Roy]

It's hard to say if we don't know how egregious or not it is. Why not share? This isn't a judgmental place.

[something_else]

It’s obviously something sexual and you imply it’s about a sexual act.

You also, and I’m sorry to be blunt, do seem to lack the social awareness that would be required to pull that off without being creepy at least some of the time.

Your therapist probably knows that about you and that’s why she’s telling you to avoid it, because she knows it has the potential to end badly for you because of lack of social skills. A woman can’t get you put in jail for showing them TikToks, but many women in the same area reporting you for being creepy probably could, rightfully so. 

The art of flirting is turning normal conversations, or as you put it, “the most boring vanilla shit”, into something more exciting slowly and gracefully. But you are being impatient by trying to rush it with gimmicks, which is very hard if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Women appreciate build up to sexual conversations so they can figure out if they feel safe around you. Start with that first.

[Emotionalmosquito]

7 minutes ago, PlayOnWords said:

As long as you're not showing them tiktoks of x-rated shit you should be fine.

 

40 minutes ago, lostingenosmaze said:

Kinda hard to tell if this is sexual harassment or not if you're not gonna tell us what it is.

Think about it,

1. It’s the biggest mainstream social media platform in the world, not a porn sight or anything of the like.

2. What I’m showing them isn’t even close to as bad as other stuff that’s on there. 

3. My main objective is to simply get them talking about it, the possibility of them doing the extra deed is just a bonus if the idea comes up.

4. If they aren’t having it, it’s no problem at all. It’s only harassment if it’s ongoing despite them telling you to stop.

Know all this, how is it reasonable to think I might end up in cuffs?

55 minutes ago, lostingenosmaze said:

someone here described how they lost their virginity and satisfied their kinks in vivid detail so you'll be fine!

link the thread for me?

23 minutes ago, PlayOnWords said:

How are you doing this approach?

I just walk up and say “hey, I need some female opinion on this tiktok, you mind?” Simple as. 

Yes, I know that girls know we want to drill them. So what? We also know they want to ride on us as long as we’re [insert list of characteristics chicks find desirable in dudes here] 

How does that change anything? Don’t we all have a hidden agenda of wanting to bone the girl we’re talking to? If it’s better to be yourself and be perfectly authentic than to drop some scripted routine on her, then why not just tell her what you want outright? We literally have to hide our intentions and heavily self censor if we want any chance of getting them in bed with us, otherwise why wouldn’t we just walk up and say “hey sexy lady, let’s head back to my place and do the ol’ fucky sucky.” That would inevitably get your nuts crushed if you went around doing your approaches in that manner.

[CARDOZZO]

Are you a mosquito with TikTok ?

[CARDOZZO]

Dude, tell her that you want to ziiiiziiii in her ears.

[PlayOnWords]

14 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

If it’s better to be yourself and be perfectly authentic than to drop some scripted routine on her, then why not just tell her what you want outright? We literally have to hide our intentions and heavily self censor if we want any chance of getting them in bed with us, otherwise why wouldn’t we just walk up and say “hey sexy lady, let’s head back to my place and do the ol’ fucky sucky.” That would inevitably get your nuts crushed if you went around doing your approaches in that manner.

Well, you don't have to be quite so crass about it but yeah that's the general idea.

I don't use TikTok so I have no idea what sort of videos you are showing these girls. And I'm even further puzzled by what the invitation to do something with you is about. Yoga? Spill the beans.

Edited July 20, 2023 by PlayOnWords

[Emotionalmosquito]

1 hour ago, Roy said:

Why not share? This isn't a judgmental place.

I know. This is definitely one of the friendliest places on the internet. It’s just that this is information that I’ve only shared with one other person, the therapist, and only recently. So I’m hesitant. This gives me a whole new respect for people trying to come out as gay. 

1 hour ago, PlayOnWords said:

Spill the beans

First I’ll give you a hint and if you don’t guess it I might just say it. What is the obvious comeback a woman would give to a man who is invalidating her period pains? I’m not interested in invalidating women’s struggles, the potential of what could come after is what I’m looking for. Like if a guy says, it’s not really that big of a deal, you’re being such a drama queen about it” she might say “yeah well if I’m just being dramatic about my thing then how about I.... and see how you feel!” If that doesn’t give it away I’ll have to spill it. 

 

Ps. I’m going to a big town function in a few days so I would really appreciate some ideas on how I could work some magic.

@something_else I really wanna dig into what you said but I’m running out of energy for the night. You always seem to give me the most substantial replies so big props for that

[Emotionalmosquito]

1 hour ago, CARDOZZO said:

Are you a mosquito with TikTok ?

Nope. Don’t have it installed yet but that could change if my phone is a new enough model to download it. It’s too old for a lot of apps.

1 hour ago, CARDOZZO said:

Dude, tell her that you want to ziiiiziiii in her ears.

Lol! If only 

[Raze]

I find it pretty hard to believe showing someone a tiktok would be considered sexual harassment. Is the tiktok extremely sexually graphic? 
 

 

[PlayOnWords]

40 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

First I’ll give you a hint and if you don’t guess it I might just say it. What is the obvious comeback a woman would give to a man who is invalidating her period pains? I’m not interested in invalidating women’s struggles, the potential of what could come after is what I’m looking for. Like if a guy says, it’s not really that big of a deal, you’re being such a drama queen about it” she might say “yeah well if I’m just being dramatic about my thing then how about I.... and see how you feel!” If that doesn’t give it away I’ll have to spill it. 

So you show her a video of someone saying period pains ain't shit in the hopes that she's like 'lol, well how about I kick you in the nuts?' and then you go 'go for it, baby.' Am I close?

40 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Ps. I’m going to a big town function in a few days so I would really appreciate some ideas on how I could work some magic.

I think this is a great video for you. He also has another one that basically goes like this: the best pick up line is simply Hey. Hey, I like your top. Hey, you seem interesting. Hey, how are you today?

I actually couldn't find the video I was looking for which is the latter, but the stuff that's in the video above I do every day. On my way to the shops I nod and smile at people, I say hi or good morning to people as I walk past them or at the bus stop. Eventually it stops becoming weird and it's just a nice, human thing to do. 

There's no need to pull elaborate DikDok schemes. Sounds crazy but eventually you can get to the point where you can literally say (almost!) anything to a girl and if you say it from a place of confidence, assuredness, playfulness, authenticity blahblahblah, then she'll at the very least reciprocate. 

Edited July 20, 2023 by PlayOnWords

[Buck Edwards]

Try not to be weird. Keep it simple. Tiktok is full of weird shit, forget women, even teens don't wanna watch that, it's just 3rd grade rubbish. Starting a conversation on Tiktok is immature. 

Find something more interesting and mind blowing. Talk about your achievements. Play guitar. Show skillz. Girls love that. Be authentic. Nothing beats authenticity any day any age. 

[Emotionalmosquito]

1 hour ago, Raze said:

 

I find it pretty hard to believe showing someone a tiktok would be considered sexual harassment. Is the tiktok extremely sexually graphic?

 

Exactly. No it isn’t graphic, not even close. It makes reference to a kink I have in a comedic fashion.

1 hour ago, PlayOnWords said:

So you show her a video of someone saying period pains ain't shit in the hopes that she's like 'lol, well how about I kick you in the nuts?' and then you go 'go for it, baby.' Am I close?

Almost exactly right. Only it’s a girl acting out a hypothetical scenario wherein a guy says that to her and she responds by doing that. She plays all three roles herself; the girl, the guy and the personified period. 

1 hour ago, PlayOnWords said:

if you say it from a place of confidence, assuredness, playfulness, authenticity blahblahblah

I’d like to think I’m already there. I mean I know I’m not going up to girls like “h h h hey, c c can I get ur numbrr? Ur real pretty” all hunched over and trembling over my words and such. I usually try to do a few warmups on regular people in general first that way I’m not all rusty.

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

Could you be avoiding pressure, by using the tiktoks as a "middle man" between you and the girl, so that you won't have to face her directly? I feel like it's important to make your approach about her, not something else.

I'm asking this because I've noticed something similar with me. I approached a girl and told her something along the lines of "That's a cute dress". I noticed internally how I complimented her dress because giving HER a direct compliment was too uncomfortable, so I was deflecting that pressure by complimenting her dress instead. But that's stupid. It's like you have to put something in between you and her which feels sort of artificial (at least to me). It's better to say something like "You look cute in that dress". You're still complimenting her on the dress, but here you're complimenting her on how SHE looks in that dress, not on how the dress looks. It's slightly more personal.

I feel like you might be doing something similar there with the tiktoks. It's better to make it about you and her, not you, her and something that distracts her from you. You want her attention on you, not the phone.

But I'm just projecting a guess, You do what resonates with you.

Edited July 20, 2023 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[something_else]

You are going up to girls and showing them a TikTok invalidating period pains as an opener? What are you smoking mate?

Nothing about that is going to turn a woman on.

Edited July 20, 2023 by something_else

[Emotionalmosquito]

6 hours ago, something_else said:

You are going up to girls and showing them a TikTok invalidating period pains as an opener?

Incorrect. It’s a video of a girl showing how to respond when guys invalidate it

Edited July 20, 2023 by Emotionalmosquito

[Ajax]

Hey, it's your sandbox, bro.  Just don't give up, until you have tried at least 15 million different things.