I think I have been bulshitting myself

[Something Funny]

For the longest time I thought that I must first figure out my career and life purpose, start earning a lot, and then I could focus on fixing my lack of socialization and relationships. Kind if like Leo did it.

But the thing is, I think I am just using this as an excuse because I am really afraid of addressing this part of my life: being social, going to parties, doing pickup, having relationships, etc. So I conveniently tell myself that I must focus on something else first. Because what I have is not enough.

If you think about it, focusing on some massive career success first and dating second doesn't even make much sense. Lack of socialization and romantic relationships, as well as my low confidence, social anxiety, lack communication and social skills is bugging me much more than me not being a millionaire or me not having a life purpose. And it feels like a much more urgent need to fulfil.

Even Maslow's Pyramid says that love and belonging go prior to career accomplishments and wealth.

And I feel like if I got this thing sorted, I would be able to be much more successful in my career as well, not only because of the confidence boost and better social skills, but also because this issue won't be constantly bugging and distracting me anymore.

The biggest reason why I feel like I need to achieve carrier success so urgently in the first place is because I feel like it is delaying my social life. What if I skipped this step completely for now. I won't be too old to start a business at 27, but I might miss out on a lot of socialization experiences by then.

However, the problem is that I am super scared to make this decision and actually start working on my social life. It feels overwhelmingly hard and terrifying.

[Something Funny]

The big limiting belief that I have is that I don't have enough money to afford having a relationship right now. And this may be true. But I don't think it matters actually. I don't even need a relationship, I need to learn how to socialize, get friends, and get laid first. And even if I get a relationship and it falls apart because I can't afford it, it would still be a great learning experience and totally worth it.

[Leo Gura]

It will only get harder with age.

Socializing it quite fun once you get into it.

Edited July 19, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Yimpa]

Age like fine wine by taking ownership of your life.

[Something Funny]

@Leo Gura so you think it would be a right decision to prioritise it over career and business success?

I was always using you as an example, saying things like: "look, Leo managed to ignore relationship until 26 something years old while prioritising his career and he is doing great, so I can do it as well".

But I am not Leo, I am my own person with different personality. At least from what you've said, it doesn't sound like lack of relationships bothered you that much. Unfortunately, it does bother me a lot. It's basically something that I think about daily and it messes with my mental health (which in turn bothers me on its own, because i think that it is kind of shallow to be honest, lol).

Edited July 19, 2023 by Something Funny

[Yimpa]

3 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

At least from what you've said, it doesn't sound like lack of relationships bothered you that much. Unfortunately, it does bother me a lot. It's basically something that I think about daily and it messes with my mental health (which in turn bothers me on its own, because i think that it is kind of shallow, to be honest, lol).

Sounds like you’re not bothered by lack of relationships, but rather, a lack of an authentic relationship with yourself.

[Something Funny]

@Yimpa wdym?

[Yimpa]

Just now, Something Funny said:

@Yimpa wdym?

For example, not being in touch with your values. For example, if autonomy is a value of yours, yet you still get triggered by what others say or think about you, that would be a disconnect with yourself.

[Something Funny]

@Yimpa this is too vague. Yes, I am not in alignment with my values and probably don't even know what they are exactly.

So what do you expect me to do, sit there and journal about my values? That's what I've been doing my whole life, I need to take some real action.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

@Yimpa this is too vague. Yes, I am not in alignment with my values and probably don't even know what they are exactly.

So what do you expect me to do, sit there and journal about my values? That's what I've been doing my whole life, I need to take some real action.

Take the Leo life purpose course and/or work with a life coach or therapist to discover what your values are.

[Something Funny]

@Yimpa I took Leo's life purpose course, and tried to complete it several times, but I would always get stuck at picking your life purpose section because I felt like I am not ready to do so.

I did the values exercises like 3-4 times though. It didn't help me that much.

[Something Funny]

@Yimpa and I am actually starting to work with a coach. It doesn't change the fact that I need to take some actual action.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

@Yimpa and I am actually starting to work with a coach. It doesn't change the fact that I need to take some actual action.

Working with a coach sounds like some actual action to me!

[Something Funny]

@Yimpa not if it has only been one session and you've been procrastinating on doing the homework for a month.

[Yimpa]

5 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Yimpa not if it has only been one session and you've been procrastinating on doing the homework for a month.

Yes, I know what that’s like for sure. Use this opportunity to get in touch with your emotions. And be gentle with yourself the best you can.

[Something Funny]

@Yimpa I will. And i get what you are trying to say, thank you. I just think that I need to take some external action as well.

[Yimpa]

1 minute ago, Something Funny said:

@Yimpa I will. And i get what you are trying to say, thank you. I just think that I need to take some external action as well.

??

[Anon212]

Bro, just go to a shopping mall today and say hi to ten girls, well done, you've started!

[Jacob Morres]

Hm in terms of affordability, you can get a girl even with $0 

Personality goes a long way 

If you look, you will see many guys who don't have money get girls 

Edited July 19, 2023 by Jacob Morres

[Thought Art]

Both problems I’m working on… Business/ finances and socializing and relationships.

I am 27, ain’t getting younger. The existential reality of aging is weighing on me.

Edited July 19, 2023 by Thought Art