Dealing with porn addiction.

[Rishi K Dev]

Hi, my name is Rishi, i am from India. i am dealing with porn addiction now. It seems very hard without having anyone to talk about it. Or without having an experience of someone who have gone through it to guide.

I would like to have someone to share my thoughts and story. Please share your experiences if you have gone through similar addictions or problem. 

And if you like to share your story or have a feel to talk to somebody. Please do.(+918086874062)this is my WhatsApp number

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oFVOJf0TzY

Whenever you feel an urge take a cold shower, you can start it hot and then slowly make it cold, cooling down the body should make it go away

https://easypeasymethod.org/

Try learning meditation. For a free online meditation training try unified mindfulness or the brightmind app.

Meditation has been shown to strengthen the part of the brain associated with willpower and quiet the part associated with impulsive urges over time. It also regrows the concentration and grey matter porn kills.
It can also be used to directly handle urges.

https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/art_urges.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBOSqgPg8jc

[Rishi K Dev]

@RazeThank you?

Edited May 29, 2023 by Rishi K Dev

[Qarni]

4 hours ago, Rishi K Dev said:

Hi, my name is Rishi, i am from India. i am dealing with porn addiction now. It seems very hard without having anyone to talk about it. Or without having an experience of someone who have gone through it to guide.

I would like to have someone to share my thoughts and story. Please share your experiences if you have gone through similar addictions or problem. 

And if you like to share your story or have a feel to talk to somebody. Please do.(+918086874062)this is my WhatsApp number

@Rishi K Dev everybody now is addicted to these pleasurable stuff, we are all dopamine addicted. But i think these behaviors are not the problem. It's just a sign that there is a deep problem inside. And you need to identify that. Meditation and breathing can helps a lot.

From my experience, i only crave these pleausurable activities when i am in stress or in pain. So once i start working on observing where that stress and pain is coming from. A lot of craving stops because i start focusing on finding real solution. But still sometime, i am struggling with this issue.

Hope it helps you. 

[Rishi K Dev]

@Qarnithank you❤️

[Roy]

Allow yourself to masturbate but don't use any material. Just your mind.

[Hojo]

Masterbate for pleasure not for cumming. Take time and enjoy it porno is just a tool we use to come faster but cumming is not the purpose. The purpose of masterbation is to raise your vibration when you cum you just raise it up and expend it all instantly. If you raise it raise it raise it then stop and don't cum then you remain in high spirit.

Make yourself feel really good then lay there and focus on the amazing feeling in your mind and then push it down to your stomach and repeat. Don't listen to your mind that says I really just want to cum treat it as a tool you can use to raise your vibration of your body and mind.

Sadguru say we can use semen as a tool or we can throw it away on our bedsheet

Edited May 30, 2023 by Hojo

[Maru]

I find addiction a bit mysterious. The dutch word for addiction is kind of translated "enslavement"  You become a slave to something outside of yourself because it brings you joy.  I guess it comes down to the idea that as long as you are not enjoyed by yourself then you will be enslaved by something outside of yourself.

Now i am not enjoyed by myself. I get bored really fast and so i crave something to keep me occupied constantly.
To try to solve it at its core and be enjoyed just by "being" is some high lofty goal that seems out of reach. So my method is to pick the addictions that seem to be least negative.
Id rather be attached to playing video games with a friend, then sitting here eating chocolate by myself.

I used to watch porn habitually even while having a girlfriend for years. When i was alone and bored it seemed like and easy 15 minutes of entertainment. And it sorta keeps the libido down.

My girlfriend didn't really like it, and at some point I kind of found it a stupid habit. So i decided to just quit doing it. Next to that i decided to not masturbate neither unless i get so horny it keeps me awake at night for hours.

This was about a year ago and i noticed a few things within myself.  When away from my girlfriend for an extended time (about 2+ weeks)  I start laying awake at night being horny as hell. It also gives me cravings for drugs that enhance sex or masturbation. Its just horrible. I then give into the urge to masturbate. But it tends to not calm the horny mood.  It really feels like enslavement at that point.

Another thing i noticed is that society is god damn horrible with sexuality. Its used as a tool to get your attention constantly. But whatever asks your attention never gives you sex in return. Its kind of like a subtle bait and switch. Advertisement, TV shows, social media, games etc. Its giving you a constant stream of sexual stimulation but it never gives you sex. Its just baiting you to buy something or to give the sexy person an ego boost.

So i try to avoid that sort of shit as much as i can. Which is hard because i am quite addicted to watching YouTube and even with turning the adds of allot of shitty content tries to bait you with boobs. Allot of RPG type games are also filled with 200% sexy characters.

Now due to me having a girlfriend I cant say what happens if you push abstinence. I cant really go full monk. Iv spoken with someone who has done it and he said it takes a while for the horny to subside. I mean even my dreams get horny.   Its a hard habit to break.

Iv broken lots of habits but sex related ones are the worse for me.

[ZenAlex]

Spend more time outdoors so you're not in a position to impulsively indulge. 

[TheCloud]

On 5/29/2023 at 8:10 PM, Roy said:

Allow yourself to masturbate but don't use any material. Just your mind.

Seconded.  This way, you can satisfy your physical cravings so you only have to deal with the psychological aspects of your addiction.  It's also a good benchmark;  if you can't even do this much, you can't solve your addiction.

[toasty7718]

[Schizophonia]

Find you a girlfriend. 

[TreyMoney]

Start a porn/masturbation log and start keeping track of how often you pmo per week, per month. And keep track of your thoughts and feelings before and after the act. Then slowly try to bring your numbers down. Make it a goal to bring your numbers down over time. 

I use Nathaniel Brandon's Six Pillars of Self Esteem as my guide.

1. Living Consciously - become more aware of your sexual energy and your sexual behaviours. Keep track!

2.  Self Acceptance - accept yourself as a sexual being with sexual needs. 

3. Self Responsibility - take personal responsibility for every action you take and choice you make. Try to reduce the autopilot, automatic reactions and increase the conscious behaviors

4. Self Assertiveness - burn off your sexual energy in other ways, like exercise, cleaning or anything else physical that will tire you out

5. Personal Integrity - does pmo align with you who you want to be? 

6. Living Purposefully - is pmo in alignment with your life purpose?

Edited June 6, 2023 by TreyMoney

[TreyMoney]

Start reading books as well on sexual addiction, porn addiction and male psychology.

Im currently reading The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine. Its great.

[TreyMoney]

If you find yourself masturbating to fall asleep, ive had success recently with practicing legs up the wall yoga pose before going to bed. Really helps calm me down and fall asleep where before i wouldn't be able to fall asleep with blowing a load 

[TreyMoney]

On 03/06/2023 at 3:35 PM, TheCloud said:

if you can't even do this much, you can't solve your addiction.

Dont believe this.....even if you currently cant masturbate to orgasm without porn, that doesn't mean you cant solve your addiction. You can. It will just take time and effort and commitment.

[TheCloud]

2 hours ago, TreyMoney said:

Dont believe this.....even if you currently cant masturbate to orgasm without porn, that doesn't mean you cant solve your addiction. You can. It will just take time and effort and commitment.

I meant that it's a solid benchmark.  It's like if someone says they're going to quit heroin, but they still hang out with their dealer;  they're not going to quit heroin.  At the very least not until they can stay away from the source of it, because if they expose themselves to it while still physically dependent, 99 times out of 100 they will take it.

 

Now thankfully, with porn the physical addiction is separated in the act of masturbation.  So you can look at porn while not touching yourself, and masturbate while not looking at porn.  It can become two separate and more controllable acts.  I guess I didn't account for the possibility that he might not be able to orgasm without porn, though.  I guess all you can do then is practice.

[TreyMoney]

Any progress is beneficial. All or nothing thinking can be detrimental in recovery of any kind. I prefer to think of it as being more self integrated today than yesterday or this month than last month. So if I pmod 8 times last month, my goal this month is 7 or less for example. That way slips dont trigger an all out binge. The egomind is a master deceiver and will use anything it can get its mind around to trigger a binge.

[TheCloud]

3 hours ago, TreyMoney said:

Any progress is beneficial. All or nothing thinking can be detrimental in recovery of any kind. I prefer to think of it as being more self integrated today than yesterday or this month than last month. So if I pmod 8 times last month, my goal this month is 7 or less for example. That way slips dont trigger an all out binge. The egomind is a master deceiver and will use anything it can get its mind around to trigger a binge.

That's fair and reasonable.  I wanted to convey that the slip isn't always at the point of the action itself;  ofttimes it's at the precursor action.  Like with the heroin example;  the first thing to do in that case isn't to try quitting heroin, the first thing is to stay away from your dealer.  If you're addicted to alcohol, don't go to the bar and imagine you're going to get out of there without drinking with your buddies.

 

It's as you said, the ego is a master deceiver that'll tell you that you can go to the bar and still stay sober.  If you can't stop hanging out with your dealer, if you can't stop going to the bar, your chances of kicking the main habit are close to nil.  If you can stop going the places you shouldn't go and being with the people you shouldn't be with, then your chances of kicking or managing the habit are pretty good.  With the porn addiction, there's a really good way to disrupt the habit by separating the porn viewing from masturbation.

 

If you can't masturbate without porn, it's going to be really hard to kick your porn addiction.  I would even go so far as to say that masturbating without porn for a day would be a bigger victory than not masturbating at all, because the latter is likely white-knuckle sobriety just waiting for your will to break, while the former is a whole new and different habit that can replace the old one.

[TreyMoney]

For sure, agree 100%.