Emotional attachment towards a person

[Rishi K Dev]

how to be free from emotional attachment towards a person. I always think about that person and looking for their validation, and also so worried about their loss from my life. I don't know how that person is feeling about myself, but i am so attached to the.

Please share your thoughts or good related sources in internet.

THANK YOU ❤️

[puporing]

You never truly "lose" someone, not even when they "pass away". You just gotta realize this.

[meta_male]

@Rishi K Dev What else in life are you passionate about besides this person?

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU1Rp184IT4

[AJBrew]

I've been having this issue lately as well. There's this girl in my major who I've been doing activities with the past year and even slept with in the same room together at a professional convention.

I cant seem to detach my feelings from her and asked her out on a second date for new years but she say's she sees us as friends.

This has been challenging my psychology as of recent as I've noticed thoughts of caring about what she thinks of me, and what she's up too; its fucking awful and it makes me feel weak. I've been trying all sorts or mediations and shifts in perspectives but this feeling won't fucking waver.

I wonder if this similar issue we have has to do with too much empathy and not enough groundedness in ourselves. We are "too" concerned with how they feel about us and this dictates our internal condition. There have to be practical applications to stabilize this concern.

 

Edited January 11, 2023 by AJBrew

[Rafael Thundercat]

Check if you can find the book " "Attached" written  by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.

Is about Attachment styles, Secure,Axious and Avoidand. Very good one.

One of the takes I had from this book is that normaly we say in spiritual circles that Co-dependence is not a good thing. But this for the authors is Bullshit. As social animals we are dependent since birth and out need for intimacy cannot be denied. We need to accept that need someone is not a bad thing. The only sort of problem is that we have a particular way of vinculate with others depending of  our attachment style with Parents, but also set in the first relationships when toddler, teenager.. 

So check the book. There good exercices there for you to acess your type. Anyway the more you know yourself better you can navigate relationships consciously.

Knowing a bit about your Horoscope, GeneKeys, Human Desing, is also good. 

[Basman]

@AJBrew I can relate to being overly attached to a girl. I believe it's in part due to scarcity. It makes the few attractive women you meet so much more important to your mind when you have little experience of an abundance of romantic options or anything to close to that. Basically, you are being needy. It has to do with a lack of resources.

In my own life, I've found deciding that I no longer want to fawn over a girl to be a good start to get over a crush like that. There's always more fish in the sea, so it's useless to put someone on a pedestal like that.

Making a move early and taking whatever comes is very effective at avoiding the crush zone all together, in my experience. It's also liberating.

[Tyler Robinson]

Look for attachment in secure places. 

Don't be attached to people who don't genuinely care about you, it will lead to misery. 

Attraction, attachment, friendship, romance, lust, love, bonding, whatever name you give, everything has to be reciprocal for you to truly enjoy life in bliss. 

All else is bullshit and addiction. 

The worst is to be attached to someone who doesn't love you. It depletes your vital energy and self esteem. 

Wake up, get up and become mentally bolder and stronger and give up useless baseless unreciprocating time wasting neurotic attachments. 

[Ulax]

@AJBrew I'd focus on trying to shift your attachment style towards a secure one. A depth psychotherapy like IFS, psychodynamic or humanistic therpay would be my recommendation.

[Rishi K Dev]

@puporing @Raze @AJBrew @Rafael Thundercat @Basman @Tyler Robinson @Ulax Thank you guys. greatful for the valuable informations.

[vladorion]

The idea of losing that person triggers your early childhood attachment traumas.

Those need to be healed to have a secure attachment. No other way around it...

[AJBrew]

@Basman Very help info, ill try to keep that early on escalation in mind; that makes sense too that it would avoid things being vague and especially important to be straightforward as the guy, good point.

@Ulax Those are some interesting recommendations, ill have to incorporate those. thankyou

[Ulax]

@AJBrew You're welcome mate