My mom has limited time left. How should I spend it with her?

[Richard Purdy]

My mom has a year or so to live. We’ve lived with each other for my whole life. She’s seen me grow up and seen a lot of what I experienced as a kid. I’m 21 years old. What should I do with her? What questions should I ask her? (Her viewpoint on My experiences as child, my traumatic experiences, etc) What should I ask about her and her life? What are some things to say that my self would my satisfied with 10 years from now when I have my own family? Please be detailed. I have some ideas but I was wondering what you guys would do if you were in my shoes. And to the people who lost their parents, what do you wish you would do/ ask. I want satisfaction with how I spent my time with her. I hear love is a good idea. Thanks

Edited September 24, 2022 by Richard Purdy
Added more info

[Breakingthewall]

If I were you I would be with her 100% during this time. forget your life focus on your mother. Accompany her in the deepest and closest way you can. all day if necessary, even if it means suffering. become a sworn who is on a mission. It's only a year or two. When my mother died I was 17, and I was a selfish, childish piece of shit, and I have a hard time forgetting it.

[BipolarGrowth]

I know you ask to be detailed, but my answer is pretty simple. Spend it with her enjoying as many moments as you can. Do the hobbies or activities you both like to do. Focus the time around things that raise both her emotional state and yours to a “higher frequency”. This is all to say — make the time spent together an overall positive experience to the best of your ability. 
 

I’m sorry that you’re having to see her go, but realize that your maturity to see the value in spending time with her now is a great thing. I wish you the best during this trying time. 
 

With Love,

Brandon ?

Edited September 24, 2022 by BipolarGrowth

[r0ckyreed]

Make a bucket list together and create a conversation list together of questions you have for each other. Sorry for what you are going through. Fortunately, you have time to really connect with your mom in a way many people may not have. Savor the moments. I wish you well.

[Tyler Robinson]

Cook something for her. Write her a card. 

And apologize for all the bad stuff you might have done to her in the past 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Ask her to tell you her life story, as she sees it from her POV, from scratch. And just listen to it without commentary.

If she showed you love, communicate back to her that you received it, recognize it, and are thankful for it.

Edited September 24, 2022 by Leo Gura

[How to be wise]

@Leo Gura The funny thing is that as soon as she dies, she will have never been real, since all the proof of her existence will be immaterial thoughts.

[Leo Gura]

Just now, How to be wise said:

@Leo Gura The funny thing is that as soon as she dies, she will have never been real, since all the proof of her existence will be immaterial thoughts.

The only proof you've ever had of your mother's existence are your immaterial thoughts.

[Twenty]

Just take a lot of pictures and you're done

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojq1AAMvZvg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWNKNTG-EDA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDeMbojj8-E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j83HjUFJhas

Edited September 24, 2022 by Raze

[How to be wise]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

The only proof you've ever had of your mother's existence are your immaterial thoughts.

Indeed. If my mum is standing in front of me, and I close my eyes, the only proof of her existence is immaterial thoughts. The mind is extremely powerful, since it makes you believe in reality which is just your immaterial thoughts.

[Leo Gura]

@How to be wise Even if she's standing in front of you, how do you know she's your mother?

[How to be wise]

7 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@How to be wise Even if she's standing in front of you, how do you know she's your mother?

Ah yes, since the only proof that she is my mother is from the past, which is more immaterial thoughts. 

[LSD-Rumi]

Just be there with her, shower her with your love.