Girlfriend won't let me watch porn...

[Flint]

6 hours ago, something_else said:

Idk man, it seems like a pretty reasonable thing for a girl to feel uncomfortable about.

There is a big difference between being uncomfortable and trying to prevent someone from doing something and threatening to leave over it.

What needs to be understood is that porn is imaginary and the man or the woman is having imaginary pleasure, vs the real pleasure that is had with a real partner. In porn, there is no true reality of another human being, all of those actors in porn movies are of course people and exist but it's not human to human interaction. One could stimulate him/herself only with the mind by imagining certain scenarios or reading erotica.

So the having a lot of male friends is not a valid comparison as those are real people. As a guy would you forbid your girlfriend to read erotica or romance novels for instance ? I wouldn't because it sounds absurd.

6 hours ago, Loba said:

I would be kind of annoyed if a guy I was dating was watching porn as well, it would make me feel insecure, unloved and that he still had desire for sexual intercourse with other women who are not me.

You can't really extrapolate that it means he desires to have sex with other women but you kinda can so I understand the point.

And of course, he will always have desire for sexual intercourse with other women who are not you. It's just something you need to accept. It's very naive to believe you would be able to pleasure and satisfy a man to such a perfect extent that he would cease any sexual desire towards any other woman. It's simply not realistic.

In the same way, how would you feel if your man forbid you from reading romance novels or any sort of erotica fiction ? What if he told you you were a traiterous monster for watching Bridgerton because you should be perfectly satisfied with the love he's giving you and you should not be imagining falling in love with someone else ? Would you not run away immediately ?

[Flint]

@Loba Thanks for your very mature response. 

You shouldn't expect men to overcome their lust in the same way that you should not expect people to be able to deny or overcome their desires somehow.

I hope you find a way to heal your insecurities and that you find a great man you're compatible with.

You always could date someone very christian who thinks that porn and masturbation are evil which of course has other disadvantages. Someone into Nofap and semen retention perhaps ?

[Devin]

16 hours ago, Loba said:

@Flint The thing is, I wouldn't forbid anyone of doing anything - that's not who I am.  I would just leave.  Like... you can't force people to change for you, that's not cool.  I know my views aren't entirely realistic which is why I emphasized that some of these problems lie within myself.  But a lot of women do have similar insecurities, and unless we can overcome our insecurities in the same way that men would have to overcome their lust, then there's bound to be problems between the two sexes.  Personally, I don't feel ready for a relationship with anyone because I don't believe I can cure my insecurities, and I think I would see them in places where they don't exist and ultimately I would just run away, or find ways to sabotage the relationship so that I could feel better about leaving.  For me, there is no bridge between the two sexes and I accept my fate, it is what it is.  A man's psychology simply doesn't line up with my values and what I want for myself, but I also value allowing other people to make their own choices in life, so I do my best to avoid situations where I feel a relationship could cultivate.  I don't want to put my unrealistic expectations on another person, and waste their time.

Do you not like being around someone different?

I don't think porn use is as prolific among men as it is sometimes made out to be, I'm a guy, non church going or anything like that and porn is repulsive to me, and I'm not friends with guys into it and wouldn't want to be, similar to what you said earlier I think porn use is indicative of a real problem, most of those guys are insecure, negative, and are never really happy or satisfied, I notice it when being around them in a platonic way and I don't like being around them.

You may be surprised about your insecurities melting away if you get into a healthy relationship.

[Leo Gura]

It's a silly expectation for her to hold.

You shouldn't quit porn because a girl tells you to.

A guy requires way more sex than a girl. A girl will not understand this. It's like telling your cat to quit scratching the couch.

What she's really feeling is insecurity and a lack of love from you. She has the wrong idea in her head that your porn watching reduces your love for her. Convince her otherwise.

[Carl-Richard]

On 8.8.2022 at 0:14 AM, Something Funny said:

In that case, would you be ok with your girlfriend going to a male strip club and getting off to them?

She also won't  dump you for a stripper and there is no emotional connection there, so it's not cheating by your logic..

What you really should be asking is if I would be ok if she watched porn as well, which I would say yes to. There are some girls who watch a lot of porn.

[Leo Gura]

25 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

Is it really that unreasonable to sacrifice jerking off to porn a few times a week so that a girlfriend, who you love and want to be with, has a peace of mind while you are in a relationship with her?

Yes.

Lol.

She doesn't need her man pussywhipped. She just needs to feel your love. Love her, but don't indulge her insecure girly bullshit.

[Carl-Richard]

51 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

But in that case where do you draw a line?

- Is being subsribed to a specific model on onlyfans cheating?

- Is paying her to send your exlusice nudes and videos cheating?

- Is going to a strip club cheating?

- Is going to a strip club and getting a lap dance cheating?

- Is hiring a hooker cheating?

As for specific actions that always step over the line unless we've made some previous agreements, I would treat an onlyfans subscription as a porn membership, because the chance of being dumped is the same, including exclusive nudes/videos, unless they have very few subs and live nearby or know each other personally.

As for strip clubs and lap dances, it mostly depends on context. If she went one time for fun with her friends, I wouldn't think much of it. If she went to the strip club regularly, I would be suspicious. Strippers need to hook up too, you know?

For hiring hookers, it's more problematic, because the hooker is incentivized to cultivate a relationship which is similar to a partner relationship. Besides, I would just generally not be ok with it. There are other reasons why I personally wouldn't hire a hooker.

[Devin]

2 hours ago, Something Funny said:

@Leo Gura @Carl-Richard idk, what you are saying just feels wrong to me on an intuitive level. I don't think I would be able to live with a philosophy like that.

But I don't want to argue with people here anymore so whatever. Let's agree to disagree

In the first post he says his girlfriend complains they don't have enough sex

He masturbates to it, It's cheating

You're right

Edited August 9, 2022 by Devin

[Carl-Richard]

1 hour ago, Devin said:

In the first post he says his girlfriend complains they don't have enough sex

because she doesn't want to have sex with him when he has watched porn within the last couple of days. She does it to herself.

[Marianitozz]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's a silly expectation for her to hold.

You shouldn't quit porn because a girl tells you to.

A guy requires way more sex than a girl. A girl will not understand this. It's like telling your cat to quit scratching the couch.

What she's really feeling is insecurity and a lack of love from you. She has the wrong idea in her head that your porn watching reduces your love for her. Convince her otherwise.

@Leo Gura very misleading advice about sexuality.. the energy got to be transmuted and channeled toward higher things other than porn for a more holistic understanding about sexuality you can check "Karezza" - Marnia Robinson or "Outwitting the Devil" by Napoleon Hill

[thisintegrated]

On 07/08/2022 at 7:40 AM, Adam M said:

Hey guys, I wanted your opinion on this...

My girlfriend is a very smart and  spiritually connected girl... she's very stage yellow to be honest and moving into turquoise! 

We are a very good match in most aspects...

Except for that she despises when I watch porn.

She says that she can feel how my sex energy is being put into pictures of virtual women on a screen.

She feels like it's cheating.

We've had plenty of arguments about it...and I've tried quitting but to be honest I kind of don't want to quit.

Keep in mind, it's not like I watch porn every day... I usually do it once or twice in a week.

She doesn't want to have sex w me when I've watched porn in the last few days and then she complains that we don't have enough sex.

And ultimately... she said that she'd break up with me if I don't quit watch porn forever.

Soooooooooooooooo what's your opinion on this matter?

Should I break up w her? 

Should I quit porn forever (even though I don't want to)?

Granted it'll might tough to find another girl like her (even though I do have good game and plenty of options)

I'm so confused...

Bruh.. she ain't Yellow.

Being "smart" doesn't make someone Yellow.

She's incapable of seeing things from an outside perspective.  She's Orange-Green, likely with a lot of Blue.

 

If she doesn't respect your opinions & freedom then it's never gonna work anyway.

Literally if you can't make her respect your views, or your commitment to them, then she will eventually start to hate you for not being a man.

Edited August 10, 2022 by thisintegrated

[Carl-Richard]

38 minutes ago, Marianitozz said:

the energy got to be transmuted and channeled toward higher things other than porn

Yeah no. Repressing your sexuality is dangerous business.

[Devin]

2 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

because she doesn't want to have sex with him when he has watched porn within the last couple of days. She does it to herself.

No, he said he prefers masturbating over intercourse. Textbook porn addict symptom

Edited August 10, 2022 by Devin

[Devin]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

Yeah no. Repressing your sexuality is dangerous business.

Sexuality is how you experience and express YOURSELF sexually, porn watching is not sexuality it's deception

[Danioover9000]

@Adam M

On 07/08/2022 at 7:40 AM, Adam M said:

Hey guys, I wanted your opinion on this...

My girlfriend is a very smart and  spiritually connected girl... she's very stage yellow to be honest and moving into turquoise! 

We are a very good match in most aspects...

Except for that she despises when I watch porn.

She says that she can feel how my sex energy is being put into pictures of virtual women on a screen.

She feels like it's cheating.

We've had plenty of arguments about it...and I've tried quitting but to be honest I kind of don't want to quit.

Keep in mind, it's not like I watch porn every day... I usually do it once or twice in a week.

She doesn't want to have sex w me when I've watched porn in the last few days and then she complains that we don't have enough sex.

And ultimately... she said that she'd break up with me if I don't quit watch porn forever.

Soooooooooooooooo what's your opinion on this matter?

Should I break up w her? 

Should I quit porn forever (even though I don't want to)?

Granted it'll might tough to find another girl like her (even though I do have good game and plenty of options)

I'm so confused...

   Well, you asked for my opinion, so here's my onion in the raw.

   Like in nature, an onion, like all plants, lacks haste and takes time to grow, from seed to dead leaves. So no, your dreaming that your GF's stage yellow, cuz yellow takes time to ripe and grow into, as it recognizes male and female psychology, never mind transitioning to turquoise.

  Good match? Most aspects? Such as?

   If she really was yellow, why she's despised you for fapping to porn? For real, she's too concerned how you tork hoist your joy stick? Or is it the thought of the image of moist slick melons that're way better than hers, that making her jealous? Careful, women can zealously tell you it ain't jealousy, it's all in your lousy head, hear me, excuses all day ear to ear, while smiling ear to ear, hiding Jelly feels ear to ear.

   When she complains about your men's porn, then complains about your sex might, even tries to subtly manipulate and mansplain you, Why?if I were you, I'd explain carefully, plainly in english "My buddy's in pain, needs the exercise and training, and craving fulfilled like I need foods and fluid, straight as an arrow, that's my morning wood down to the bone marrow, that needs a supporting hand baby! Can you please understand a man's need? If you can please, lease me a helping hand, at least two hands can, wash, watch and scratch each other's backs with ease, right? Like, tonight, or right now. I swear I'll treat and tease you real nicely, melt you like butter and cheese Bree.". If she's real spiritual, zero male shadow, understanding, and ain't denying her thirst, she'll let you lead her around like a puppet shadow, shadowing your lightly leading ways this and that way to the sway of your beeping bedroom plays that the pair of you would really be great game players. But hey, if she's none of that, and wants to snatch your thunder away from you, then sorry, bolt her out like Zeus bolts out lightning rods at titans to their doom, then zoom out and explore, once recovered from the gloom, the right GF for you, cuz this world set a time limit for you, and crises that may end you sooner than later and make you as fossilized as your pic shows you.

   So take care man, and be like alligators, at least they know how to attract and date in a cool way, rippling mini waves in their backs, while surviving extinction. And hey, that dialogue and diction is just a literary fiction, don't literally word for word say it, kay? It's an example to convey needed communication, in your own words and lane, kay?

   

[Carl-Richard]

57 minutes ago, Devin said:

No, he said he prefers masturbating over intercourse. Textbook porn addict symptom

No he didn't?

 

52 minutes ago, Devin said:

Sexuality is how you experience and express YOURSELF sexually, porn watching is not sexuality it's deception

Then why are you arguing that porn can replace sex??

[Devin]

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

No he didn't?

yes he did

Sunday 1:23 pm post

1 hour ago, Carl-Richard said:

Then why are you arguing that porn can replace sex??

I'm not arguing that, it can distract you from your sexuality and sex, it definitely doesn't replace it.

Cheating doesn't mean replacing

Edited August 10, 2022 by Devin

[Machine]

Unless you wish to train yourself to be a voyeur and derive pleasure from cuckoldry, I'd suggest you steer clear from porn. Its presence in mainstream culture is used as a weapon to disempower the individual and mocks something that should otherwise be consider sacred and replaces it with a bastardised mockery. It's a mind virus beyond the comedic display of its inherit ridiculousness

[Carl-Richard]

21 minutes ago, Devin said:

yes he did

Sunday 1:23 pm post

He said it's easier than having sex, not that he generally prefers it over sex. It's not like he is thinking during sex "I wish I could just masturbate instead".

 

21 minutes ago, Devin said:

I'm not arguing that, it can distract you from your sexuality and sex, it definitely doesn't replace it.

Cheating doesn't mean replacing

To treat masturbation as distinct from sexuality is ridiculous. I cba with this forum sometimes with how people constantly have to redefine common concepts to make a point. Like, just talk like a normal person 

Porn is not cheating. Porn is not going to steal your boyfriend or make him lose his loyalty to you. Worst case scenario, he will take longer to cum, which is a win-win. If you have more sex, then maybe he'll watch less porn as well. However, if you're going to withhold sex from him because he watches porn and then complain about not having enough sex, then that is your problem.

[Devin]

17 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

He said it's easier than having sex, not that he generally prefers it over sex. It's not like he is thinking during sex "I wish I could just masturbate instead".

 

To treat masturbation as distinct from sexuality is ridiculous. I cba with this forum sometimes with how people constantly have to redefine common concepts to make a point. Like, just talk like a normal person 

Porn is not cheating. Porn is not going to steal your boyfriend or make him lose his loyalty to you. Worst case scenario, he will take longer to cum, which is a win-win. If you have more sex, then maybe he'll watch less porn as well. However, if you're going to withhold sex from him because he watches porn and then complain about not having enough sex, then that is your problem.

"As for why don't I just have sex with her?

Well, for one, masturbating alone is a completely different experience than sexual intercourse.

Having sex requires tremendous focus and energy (for the guy mostly) and if I feel very tired... lazy... and just want to cum... it's a lot less pressure and more relaxing for me to just masturbate on my own. 

My girlfriend says that she "feels" when I've masturbated... which is pretty obvious. My energy is slightly less."

 

You're the one redefining cheating

She wants more sex, he wants porn instead of sex.

 

Porn is shit, it has nothing to do with expressing your sexuality it can only help you suppress your sexuality.