Someone here

The difference between dating in Western countries vs India

40 posts in this topic

2 minutes ago, Tudo said:

The problem is that the way you talked about it hurts some women

Could you explain how? 

 

3 minutes ago, Tudo said:

And you are doing sex tourism. 

Well what if you live in a country where there  is not that much dating opportunities? What are you gonna do then ? The first thing that comes to mind is travelling to a country where relationships between opposite sexes are a bit more loose.  Whats wrong with that either? 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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3 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Could you explain how? 

 

 

You literally created one other thread about women envying having a penis.

5 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 

 

Well what if you live in a country where there  is not that much dating opportunities? What are you gonna do then ? The first thing that comes to mind is travelling to a country where relationships between opposite sexes are a bit more loose.  Whats wrong with that either? 

So go to other countries and date normally, no need to keep going to another country just pure sex.

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19 hours ago, Someone here said:

3.Divorce and remarriage is uncommon in India..

Having pre martial sex increases the odds of divorce. 

The thing is you need to work hard to get a quality woman. No surprise.

And I think it's great. Marriage is fundamentally stage blue thingy. It's hard to find functional marriages in orange societies.

>= 50% of the marriages end in divorce in the US. The same odds as flipping a coin.

 Casual sex is the primary reason, also the declining of strong patriarchal support is a factor. 

Men(in India) understands this intuitively and urged women to protect their chastity till marriage. This is to protect the fundamental unit that holds society together, family. 

20 hours ago, Someone here said:

and that's what I hate the most about this whole thing .

Bro don't read stuff on the internet about other people's lives and wish it was you. It's not going to work that way. Instead work constructively with what you have. Instead of casual sex with 20 women you can build a deeper relationship with one woman. That should be explored isn't it?

Also I have seen plenty of abuses aimed at @Someone here for choosing up to opening about his sexuality. Kindly refrain from doing it. 

 

2 hours ago, Someone here said:

I'm not gonna date an Indian girl. I must travel to a stage orange society and date there .

I Would advice against it if your intention is to marry the girl. It's not worth the risk, and you should be aware of that.

If you just want to casually have sex, then go ahead.

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35 minutes ago, Someone here said:

@Tudo yes I like dicks .and I like girls also.  That makes me bisexual. Is that wrong or something to be ashamed of?  I thought folks here are open-minded. 

It technically need not make you bisexual. Bisexual means you find both men and women attractive.

You don't find men attractive, you just like dicks and it's fine. End it at that.

You need not try to fit in the social constructs built by society. 

If I likes ice cream,it doesn't make me an icecreamophile or something. Because these categories comes with added un intended baggage.

Either way you are brainwashed by society. Either by traditionalists or progressives. Pick your poison.

Each has it's own benifits and consequences.

People here are far more ideological than what they think of themselves to be. It's just that they change the content of their ideology.

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16 minutes ago, Tudo said:

You literally created one other thread about women envying having a penis

Oh that wasn't my own opinion. It was an idea by Sigmund Freud. And not mine .so I didn't pull it out of my ass . And most women in that thread reassured me that they are okay with having a vagina  and they don't really want to have dick. And in any case I'm willing to apologise if I hurt any woman's feelings here . And it was overall a thread just for the fun and the giggles.

A tangent question tho: why do you remember every thread of mine?  Why are you focused on me ? I myself have forgotten about those threads you mentioned. 

16 minutes ago, Tudo said:

tSo go to other countries and date normally, no need to keep going to another country just pure sex

What's the difference?  Dating leads to having sex imo. You cannot Separate the two . What's the point of talking to girls and asking them out If you don't plan on having sex with them ?

Edited by Someone here

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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9 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

Having pre martial sex increases the odds of divorce. 

It's a true statistic, but you can't say much more than this. It does increase the odds of a divorce, probably because people who are sexually open enough to have sex before formal relationship are also more ready to take a divorce when a relationship burns out. People who aren't that open will stay in marriage, but that isn't something positive, that doesn't guarantee they are happy, they might be deeply unhappy and just reluctant to divorce each other.

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8 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

It technically need not make you bisexual. Bisexual means you find both men and women attractive.

You don't find men attractive, you just like dicks and it's fine. End it at that.

You need not try to fit in the social constructs built by society. 

If I likes ice cream,it doesn't make me an icecreamophile or something. Because these categories comes with added un intended baggage.

Either way you are brainwashed by society. Either by traditionalists or progressives. Pick your poison.

Each has it's own benifits and consequences.

People here are far more ideological than what they think of themselves to be. It's just that they change the content of their ideology.

No .I know very well that I'm bisexual. I do appreciate a handsome dude just as I appreciate a beautiful girl . And like I said I do prefer the physical appearance of a dick sexually more than a vagina. I didn't discover this before I got into shemale and tranny porn .it turns me on to see a girl with a dick .

Idk but if you haven't questioned your sexuality before then you know 100% that you are straight .but for Me I did question my sexuality a lot .


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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21 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 

A tangent question tho: why do you remember every thread of mine?  Why are you focused on me ? I myself have forgotten about those threads you mentioned. 

 

I don't give a shit about you, I know some stuff you post because you have more tha 6 thousand posts and many threads and seem almost addicted to this forum, anyone that participates on this section of the forum will inevitability notice some shit you post.

 

21 minutes ago, Someone here said:

 

What's the difference?  Dating leads to having sex imo. You cannot Separate the two . What's the point of talking to girls and asking them out If you don't plan on having sex with them ?

Bro, you said multiple times it was prostitutes. You paid for sex. Don't play the idiot and try to fool me.

But whatever, I won't keep this discussion.

Edited by Tudo

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@Tudo cool:)


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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It's not how you describe in Mumbai, Banglore, Goa and Guwahati for sure, I'm saying this from first hand experience.

I didn't even learn pick up... just from few attraction vedios ofcourse most of it from actualized.org.

See some vedios on trippadvice.com on YouTube maybe it will help you out.

Cold approach works as good in India as in any other country.

Girls in North East India like assam manipur mizoram are very Liberal and you can easily ask them out.

Obviously because of security reasons girls have build walls around them but you got to subcommunicate to a woman that it is safe having sex with you... how would you do that ? Think about it ...

 it's your duty to open up a girl.. (no pun intended ) 

Learn more about attraction, masculinity and femininity.@Someone here 

I know that girls from undeveloped villages too like having sex without the promise of marriage.. you got to be honest but about what you want. 

Being authentic is also a great tip !

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2 hours ago, Tudo said:

 

Indian guys usually are known for being kind of creepy and low EQ and this definitely appears to be true.

 

Felt sad to see this post.

Edited by Elton

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There are even apps that support dating like tinder, hinge etc almost all my friends find their dates from there ..

Live in relationships are also accepted since quite some years now..

Edited by Elton

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@Elton Marriage is a more legal and socially-accepted form of relationship between couples. There is a social validation that has its own appeal and satisfaction. However, live-in relationships are the new and on-going trends among the youth that gives them the freedom to live with their partners without any pressure of arranged marriages. Both of these socially-constructed institutions of love and relationships have their pros and cons.

In context of the Indian society, living with someone before marriage is still treated as a taboo, especially in a man-woman relationship. It corresponds to the idea of virginity, especially of women, which is considered violated, if and when she engages in a physical relationship with a man before her marriage. She is then seen as someone impure or unholy, which is a traditional thought but widely accepted. This is why a live-in relationship is highly criticised by the society.


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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6 hours ago, Someone here said:

Trust me Leo..the dating situation is so shitty in India. That's why I moved to Thailand. But I have to come back to India next month for university. 

Our society as a whole lacks maturity to deal with issues of dating or flirting or even talking with the opposite sex!!! Sad but true!!!

We, while wanting to break norms and inculcate the lifestyle of the West are unable to break the mold completely .

So yes, it's difficult to date an Indian woman...

She is taught by her parents, teachers, family members, well-wishers to be dependent on them for all decisions... how can she then take as big a decision as date?

She is guided by her religion and society structure to follow a set of rules and not deviate from the path... how can she break her oath?

She is influenced by dreams of 'true love' that happens on first sight or other cliches... how can she date when she hasn't fallen in 'love' yet?


She, in other words, is a brainwashed doll... who even while living earning or being highly educated in caught in the tangles of being unable to think for herself....

I'm not gonna date an Indian girl. I must travel to a stage orange society and date there .

Well, that's why I would never date nevermind marry a stage Blue girl. Too much dogma. Not worth dealing with.

But also I think you are overstating it. There must be Orange and Green girls in India.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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Basically a guy wants a woman to be sexually free when she is with him 

 

But the moment she thinks of dating other guys, he immediately puts a chastity lock on her. 

Hmm. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Well, that's why I would never date nevermind marry a stage Blue girl. Too much dogma. Not worth dealing with.

But also I think you are overstating it. There must be Orange and Green girls in India.

No.im not exaggerating . They are pretty rare and difficult to even find .let alone to date . 

I've also experimented with dating apps .

I've been through most of the dating apps. I'm not an incel, nor a simp, nor a horny creep. I wanted something meaningful, but there's none to be found.  Not all Indian men are creeps, even though the reputation's corrupt. We can be as romantic as a French dude, but we are never given a chance. Maybe I'm bad at socializing, but I've seen this happen with most of my friends too. The most charismatic of dudes had to swipe 400 times before a match came up. The rejection stings a lot. Then we wonder why the arranged marriage thing is still on. It's kinda hard for a decent Indian guy to survive online and offline too.

This is not to invalidate the experience that women go through, it's much worse than ours, but the constant rejection does take a toll, and makes a guy wonder if he really does matter in the grand scheme of relationships. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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@Someone here Maybe you should consider immigration. 


I am Lord of Heaven, Second Coming of Jesus Christ. ❣ Warning: nobody here has reached the true God.

         ┊ ┊⋆ ┊ . ♪ 星空のディスタンス ♫┆彡 what are you dreaming today?

                           天国が来る | 私は道であり、真実であり、命であり。

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15 minutes ago, puporing said:

@Someone here Maybe you should consider immigration. 

Yea I'm thinking of that actually. 


"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Pickup advice is not geared towards places like India, it's geared towards Western parts of the world. Obviously you cannot go to a tribe in the Amazon and start running game or setting up coffee dates.

?

Go to somalia and ask, 'Who lies more men or women?' ?


Be-Do-Have

There is no failure, only feedback

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13 hours ago, Girzo said:

It's a true statistic, but you can't say much more than this. It does increase the odds of a divorce, probably because people who are sexually open enough to have sex before formal relationship are also more ready to take a divorce when a relationship burns out. People who aren't that open will stay in marriage, but that isn't something positive, that doesn't guarantee they are happy, they might be deeply unhappy and just reluctant to divorce each other.

Reminds me of what Kierkegaard said.

Marry and you will regret it. Don't marry and also regret it.

Most reasons for divorce are incompatibility and lack of commitment. Things that could be solved be persistence and work.

The first problem is comparison.

A woman that had 5 boyfriends before you will always have higher expectations for you. One of her bfs must had a bigger dick than you, another had more money, another was smarter and charismatic etc. So a woman that had multiple partner would need more work to be pleased. 

Same is true from a man's pov.

Having had sex with burning hot sex with young females make you question why you are putting up with your aging wife. A man usually marries in his early thirties and that is the time when he has the most options in the dating market.

So a healthy marriage would involve giving up some of your options. 

 

Also having sex with multiple partners  affects your ability to effectively pair bond with one partner. Your body Remembers the memory from all the partners you have had sex with, and might make you incompatible from forming an effective relationship with new person. It's an irreversible change.

Deeper connections are harder to make, not to mention the trauma and abuses you accumulate with each partner which is going to be carried over to the relationship.

That might explain some of the reasons why high partner count coorelates with high divorce. 

I don't think most people are happy after divorce either. Divorce is terrible for the mental health of the parents and children.

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