Men are intoxicating and my sexual repression. Now I understand incels.

[Preety_India]

There was a time in my life, especially when I had my first boyfriend and my first breakup that I had absolutely begun to despise men and developed a lot of biases around men. I went with this thought that men only hurt and every man would only hurt me. 

I think a lot of it had to do with my sexual repression due to cultural conditioning. I never really felt the sexual love of a man back then and any reference to sex used to make me not want the man. 

In the past few months, I underwent sexual healing, specifically opening up sexually and curing some of the sexual repression that went for so long without me realizing it. The cultural conditioning can be so brutal and deep, when I look back it's almost unimaginable. I would patriarchal sexual conditioning of women is probably the worst thing that can happen to a woman. The woman begins to absolutely detest men and anything regarding sex and almost thinks of sex like a liability rather than an enjoyable activity. This way she sees man only as some provider but fails to see a male for being a male, like she cannot relate to his horniness or his sensitivity as a male, his needs are almost forgotten. This culture is extremely detrimental to women because it hampers a man's need to satisfy a woman and it hampers a woman's positivity to a man, it leads to a lot of slut shaming, dare I say it, like shaming the woman for having sexual needs because it makes the patriarchy feel oppressed? 

So when I healed this side of me, I am not sure what changes are happening in me but now I look at men in a completely different way. 

I have begun to like men. I have begun to appreciate men.. I even find certain men (obviously the ones that attract me) very alluring and intoxicating. This change is on a ridiculous level.. 

I feel like I can actually fully love a man. I used to hate the idea of the penis. Now I absolutely love the idea of the penis. 

One of the reasons why this happened is that I experienced deep sexual love from a man and then everything changed. 

I think now I understand incels. I understand why they hate women. They never get laid and never get the sexual love of a woman causing them to fear/hate women. It's a form of internal alienation on a psychological level. But once these needs are met by a woman, then they won't hate women as much. 

For me this change happened. I received a man's love and that dramatically healed my inner Hate for men and all the biases I was holding on to for so long. 

 

Now I find men very attractive and intoxicating. Healing the inner incel...

I wrote a journal on my sexual repression journey. 

Addressing the fear while writing this journal.... 

 

I still have fears of being slut shamed while writing this journal.. Slut shamed by the patriarchal gods for opening up about my sexual preferences and feelings. It's hard to do. I literally get a high heart rate while writing it as though I'm being punished. THAT Can be toxic 

Sexual shaming of women by patriarchal culture is extremely toxic. 

 

 

Edited April 17, 2022 by Preety_India

[SamC]

You are awsome preety! Much love. So so happy for you? you go girl

 

[Preety_India]

@SamC thank you 

[Leo Gura]

Love is healing.

Obviously what Incels lack is love. Both self-love and other-love.

[RMQualtrough]

Bodies are gross. Men must be worse that way but I'm not sure... You wouldn't be missing much.

When I'm in big rooms of people I can just imagine all the gross smells eminating.

[Terell Kirby]

Happy for you .. my ex was sexually repressed as well. She was a sweet girl but grew up and traditional, patriarchal family where her father was domineering..and her mother would shame her. She was always weird about sex due to lack of experience, and shame associated with her childhood programming. Good to see that there is hope out there for these kinds of women.

[Aldrich]

@Leo Gura

20 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Love is healing.

Obviously what Incels lack is love. Both self-love and other-love.

I agree.

[bejapuskas]

@Preety_India Wow, this post is really inspiring. I wish more people here were as capable as you.

[Razard86]

On 4/17/2022 at 2:21 AM, Preety_India said:

There was a time in my life, especially when I had my first boyfriend and my first breakup that I had absolutely begun to despise men and developed a lot of biases around men. I went with this thought that men only hurt and every man would only hurt me. 

I think a lot of it had to do with my sexual repression due to cultural conditioning. I never really felt the sexual love of a man back then and any reference to sex used to make me not want the man. 

In the past few months, I underwent sexual healing, specifically opening up sexually and curing some of the sexual repression that went for so long without me realizing it. The cultural conditioning can be so brutal and deep, when I look back it's almost unimaginable. I would patriarchal sexual conditioning of women is probably the worst thing that can happen to a woman. The woman begins to absolutely detest men and anything regarding sex and almost thinks of sex like a liability rather than an enjoyable activity. This way she sees man only as some provider but fails to see a male for being a male, like she cannot relate to his horniness or his sensitivity as a male, his needs are almost forgotten. This culture is extremely detrimental to women because it hampers a man's need to satisfy a woman and it hampers a woman's positivity to a man, it leads to a lot of slut shaming, dare I say it, like shaming the woman for having sexual needs because it makes the patriarchy feel oppressed? 

So when I healed this side of me, I am not sure what changes are happening in me but now I look at men in a completely different way. 

I have begun to like men. I have begun to appreciate men.. I even find certain men (obviously the ones that attract me) very alluring and intoxicating. This change is on a ridiculous level.. 

I feel like I can actually fully love a man. I used to hate the idea of the penis. Now I absolutely love the idea of the penis. 

One of the reasons why this happened is that I experienced deep sexual love from a man and then everything changed. 

I think now I understand incels. I understand why they hate women. They never get laid and never get the sexual love of a woman causing them to fear/hate women. It's a form of internal alienation on a psychological level. But once these needs are met by a woman, then they won't hate women as much. 

For me this change happened. I received a man's love and that dramatically healed my inner Hate for men and all the biases I was holding on to for so long. 

 

Now I find men very attractive and intoxicating. Healing the inner incel...

I wrote a journal on my sexual repression journey. 

Addressing the fear while writing this journal.... 

 

I still have fears of being slut shamed while writing this journal.. Slut shamed by the patriarchal gods for opening up about my sexual preferences and feelings. It's hard to do. I literally get a high heart rate while writing it as though I'm being punished. THAT Can be toxic 

Sexual shaming of women by patriarchal culture is extremely toxic. 

 

 

So happy for you!!! May the love you feel be long and deep!!! I mean that in every way it can be interpreted!!!! Peace unto you!!!

[mamad]

@Preety_India

Congratulation. your vulnerability and honesty are remarkable. 

What were your resources for this journey?

Any specific book in this field of sexual healing?

[thibault]

@Preety_India Thanks for sharing. Three levels of courage going on here.

Courage to reconsider your view of men and sex.

Courage to talk about it.

Courage to empathize with incels and see them as being "like you" in a way.

 

Mad props.

[LordFall]

@Preety_India Thank you for sharing, cool perspective. I agree that our gender relations are damaged beyond belief and it's super sad. Especially as a man that loves women, women are great and are basically super heroes for us. It's everything you want in a human companion.

[Vincent S]

@Preety_India This was so amazing ✨ Thanks for sharing ??