Feel like im on the edge of enlightenment but I'm terrified

[TheOneReborn]

For the past couple nights of meditation, I've felt like I've been right on the threshold of enlightenment but I'm terrified of surrendering. 

For me, enlightenment experiences have always been extremely physical things, I'm extremely sensitive so I can feel all sorts of strange sensations (especially in my chest and head) when I'm close to enlightenment or actually in it (aka I've surrendered to death). I've had only one real enlightenment experience so far and I've seen the white light and felt the infinite love. I know what lies on the other side of my fear (infinite love and literally everything anyone has ever wanted) but I'm scared. A week ago I was meditating and started to have an out of body experience, and I started visualizing a beautiful white light which just felt holy and divine starting to expand outside of me, I know what it was, I knew that it was the most pure, loving, and dead serious thing in the world, but I was so scared of letting it expand further, so I quickly tensed my body and the vision went away. 

This fear feels like a highly abstract fear, like im dealing with "fear" itself, and not fear of anything specific. However if I search my heart deep enough I can feel that what I'm really scared of is that "my way of being" will be so radically changed that I will be something else, which is exactly what death is. It's a change in your self-concept. 

My question is: how can I get over my fear of death when in deep meditative states? How can I learn to instinctively surrender to the sensation of death, instead of running from it. And why dies the ego fear love itself?

[Jakuchu]

20 minutes ago, TheOneReborn said:

My question is: how can I get over my fear of death when in deep meditative states?

Silently tell yourself "nothing bad can happen to me". Almost like a mantra

Edited February 13, 2022 by Jakuchu

[TheOneReborn]

4 minutes ago, Jakuchu said:

Tell yourself "nothing bad can happen to me". Almost like a mantra

I've always thought mantras were a little tacky but I'll definitely give it a shot

[Fearless_Bum]

@TheOneReborn I agree a bit with the mantra idea, can be super soothing to repeat mentally "Its okay." . 

Just keep meditating, and let go of all the fear mongering that happens around enlightenment, and dont buy the BS that people will tell you about this being scary work, enlightenment is the essence of self-love, healing, magic, and happiness. Not fear lol. 

[Vincent S]

21 minutes ago, TheOneReborn said:

My question is: how can I get over my fear of death when in deep meditative states? How can I learn to instinctively surrender to the sensation of death, instead of running from it. And why dies the ego fear love itself?

If you encounter fear. Look fear in the eyes. And realize that you are everything. Whatever you are, is Light, Awareness, Consciousness and Infinity.
Try seeing yourself as a solarsystem that emploded. And you are one of the planets on a cold journey to find your next Sun. Or maybe in the process of becoming an actual Sun. It will be cold. It will take time. But if you remember what you are. You will never loose.

Love will ALWAYS win.
You can overshadow Love and you cake make love doubt itself. But Love will never fail in turning that shadow of doubt, in to Itself (Love). Love will take the "shadow"/"fear" as itself. Making the shadow of doubt be able to see itself in the mirror. And once its seen: It will vanish forever.
What is then left but a pure Light?

[Vincent S]

@Fearless_Bum Devil

[Forza21]

If you're going through hell, don't stop.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Forza21

[Fearless_Bum]

@Vincent S Was waiting for someone to notice .

[Jakuchu]

1 minute ago, Forza21 said:

If you're going through hell, don't stop.

That's a good one ?

[Vincent S]

3 minutes ago, Fearless_Bum said:

@Vincent S Was waiting for someone to notice .

[Jakuchu]

@Fearless_Bum counting 667, not a devil anymore 

Isn't that a valid reason to celebrate? 

[Vincent S]

2 minutes ago, Jakuchu said:

@Fearless_Bum counting 667, not a devil anymore 

Isn't that a valid reason to celebrate? 

Hes now rehabilitated and a new man.

[allislove]

@TheOneReborn

Don't look for "enlightenment" in extraordinary "states". Enlightenment is already "the thing", just in front of your eyes, with or without meditation practice.

Enlightenment is noticing what is already there, what is always present.

It's all good now.?

 

[BipolarGrowth]

Just “die” more often if you want to get over the fear. Obviously you know that it’s not a danger but something extremely positive. This is like being afraid of a non-poisonous spider with no fangs. It’s just mental resistance. In this case there happens to be a potentially large upside to facing that fear over and over until you are secure enough to fully surrender whereas with the spider there’s not much upside. 

[Raze]

Contact Michael Taft 

[Breakingthewall]

think that what you are so afraid of, it already is. the difference is to see it or not, but the reality is not going to change.

[Nahm]

10 hours ago, TheOneReborn said:

how can I get over my fear of death when in deep meditative states?

The belief in states supports the believe in death which supports the belief in fear.  Point to the ‘you’ which is believed to be ‘in states’. 

Quote

How can I learn to instinctively surrender to the sensation of death, instead of running from it.

Humbly acknowledge it’s thoughts, beliefs, and the guidance of emotion. 

Quote

And why dies the ego fear love itself?

There isn’t an ego, there is the emotion fear, and the “way out of it” is the admittance & recognition of jealousy. 

Nothing ever has anything to do with meditation, as meditation is the allowing of the settling of all of this thought activity / beliefs. 

Worth noting, hopefully it’s noticed… ‘I’m on the edge of enlightenment’ isn’t feeling, a feeling, or an emotion. Seems semantical but isn’t, as it indirectly keeps a ‘separate self of thoughts’ going, which keeps the actuality of fear veiled. 

[roopepa]

9 hours ago, Nahm said:

There isn’t an ego, there is the emotion fear, and the “way out of it” is the admittance & recognition of jealousy. 

???????????