When is it right to choose comfort ?

[Samsonov]

Hi everyone, I have written a post here before asking for help with a major life turn I made, And greatly appreciated the support, It is wonderful to have this platform of like-minded individuals that I feel safe to share my challanges with and trust their judgment

So, 

I have recently moved out of my parent's house to an apartment with two roomates that are both good freinds of mine.
At first it was just great, we had great fun setting the place up and just kind of getting used to the whole deal, after some time of letting things sink in, I am noticing ways that the move has interuptted some nice things that have been going for me. Mainly it has reduced my "alone time".
see, compare to my friends, I am less social, and also involved in self-actualization and more strict with myself and my habits, so now that we are hosting pleanty of guests on a regular basis I have  got less time for learning, Reading contemplating and what not( I am still managing to keep my meditation practice, better then ever actually)
On the other hand, my mild social anxiety and general anti-social qulities is also something that i need to do major work on, in fact it was one of my main goals for the move. But living with roomates has created a lot of stress for me, and when I finely do get some time alone I feel myself stressing over when they'll return. I think this is because I keep much of my intrests to myself, so I only pursue them in solitude.

Now, a new opportunity has arisen, a new apartment owned by my mother, where I can live alone rent free.
I will certainly be more comfortable,financially and otherwise, I'll get plenty of time to develop myself and be less stressed, but is it not running away from my issues? seeking solitude where im more comportable rather then the stress of more social interaction?
when is it right to go for comfort over fear or stress?
I'd love to hear what you think, thanks<3

[vizual]

In my opinion, your baseline of your waking hours should be in productive mode. And a small time should be spend for relaxation. The danger is when this baseline gets flipped, because that is the point that can fuck people up. Their baseline becomes comfort, and every action of productivity takes forced effort. So be mindful of where your baseline lies. You can see this in people that become unemployed or get a long term disease, that they can't recover mentally, they can't get back into the productive groove. Because their baseline has flipped toward comfortability. And it can be hard to break out of this if you aren't mindful of this mechanism.

[Lincisman]

In my mind, you have to decide on what is more important to you right now and make a decision based on that.

If I were you I would go live alone since there will always be opportunities to socialize and meet with friends. moreover, this way you can keep doing your thing without distractions and go out socialize whenever you want. 

[Samsonov]

@vizual But the boundry between productive time and comfort is very loose, As I said, being social, especially with strangers that arrive to our place is'nt comfortable for me, In a way being alone is more comfortable but also more productive, and socializing can also be productive, for developing social skills and becoming a more social person. But I guess @Lincisman has a point, Its all about control, When living alone I can better manage my socializing. 
I also dont want to offend my friends, and I like living with them..tough stuff..
I guess I should do what scares me most, which is this new chapter of living all by myself

[Gregory1]

Do what feels right:) no need to overthink.

[Kksd74628]

@Samsonov

There is no reason to do things that make you feel bad. Comfort is not the problem and when something is between you and your dream life then that should be taken away. Also home should feel like a place that you can just go to relax and relief stress levels by doing activity that you like. If you can't relief your stress levels at home then where? Of course you should still be productive if your dream life requires that, but learn to enjoy those productive things and then you are winner.

Also moving to live by yourself alone will make you more independent and strong. To me there is no question even that should you move to rent free apartment where everything works better. Also you could still see your friends when you want, but after that you can decide how much time you want to use for them. Too much comfort is only problem if that handicaps your productivity levels. Also by making big decisions your self-esteem and confidence levels increase.

If sociality drains your energy levels I guess you should find people that share same interests and therefore you would enjoy those conversations even more. You can still see your old friends, but if they don't make you feel good then they don't make you feel good. Do you want to feel good? I guess you understood the point NOW.

-joNi-

[Terell Kirby]

Only when that comfort will prevent physical and/or psychological harm to self and others.

Most of the time comfort is there to protect limited belief systems, which is not the same to what is mentioned above.

The opposite of comfort is to be open to an unknown circumstance in the future.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Terell Kirby

[Loba]

Do what feels the most comfortable socially, if you are an introvert and need more time alone then that is who you are.  You're not running from your problems, imo, you just have a need for a different kind of lifestyle.  I am very introverted, too, and prefer to spend large times alone to contemplate and integrate.  I like to have time to enjoy creative thought processes and having a bunch of people around interrupts my time.  
If you're  worried about getting too unsocial, that can be a problem and I have not found a solution for it for myself, but for you, if you have a social circle, try to maintain that as much as you can - just set aside a small portion of your day for the people in your life.

Just my perspective as an introvert.

Maybe write a list of all the positives and negatives and add them up, and whichever has more positives that resonate with you - go with that?

[Kalki Avatar]

@Samsonov Dont overcomplicate the matter philosophising about what you know you want. 

In this case its simply better to be alone so you can have more control of your life and enviornment. You cant control other people. So dont think some of their problems will not come to you. Things that you didnt even thought about. 

While you get your new apartment, you need to have alone time at the rooftop if you have, get a chair there. Dont let them know you are there when you go out. Stay in the car at some alone spot to meditate. Or just find some spot alone in a beach, park or forest. 

[Samsonov]

Thank you all for writing, My indecisiveness is a real issue for me. Again, greatly appreciate this forum, and y'all<3