terrible sleep

[Yoremo]

hey guys. So my sleep is not good. I found out it has something to do with my emotional state, yes. But can I do anything else about it? I don´t have much money to spend but I really want to sleep better. But if there would be one supplement or max 2 then you could mention that also. Don´t know what the fuck to do, I am going to bed at relatively good times but I can´t sleep for hours and this fucks up everything 

 

[cupofwater]

Do you exercise? Physical exercise can do wonders for emotional problems, as well as making your body more physically tired so it's way easier to sleep.

[Osaid]

How is the room you sleep in?

For me, having white noise like a fan helps significantly. Also, make sure the room is dark and cool, its better to have a cool room than a warm room. Avoid caffeine/stimulants and blue light, you can download a blue light filter if you want. And try not to force yourself to sleep.

Also, maybe get in the habit of turning off most lights around you as the sunlight goes down. In a sense, you want the levels of light to match outside as much as possible. This helps a lot IME, probably something to do with melatonin stimulation.

Exercise is good but don't do it too close to bed time

Edited February 9, 2022 by Osaid

[Salvijus]

Take a shower right before going to sleep.

Meditation before sleep is also good but not as good as a shower.

Edited February 9, 2022 by Salvijus

[Nahm]

Let the conceptualization of states go, and use the emotional scale instead. I promise you’ll soon be sleeping like a baby. Not a typical baby, but one of those rare sleeps through the night babies. 

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/the-emotional-scale

[Yoremo]

@Nahm But how do I use the emotional scale? It always gets so unpractical, I don´t know how to make it a habit without making it. hassle

[puporing]

You could try letting go of the need to fall asleep and just embrace whatever state you're in if this is an option. There's nothing inherently wrong with not sleeping 'enough hours' if your body isn't demanding it.

Exercising/exerting yourself certainly could tire you out more. Melatonin, reducing screen time close to bedtime could help somewhat.

[Michal__]

Meditation before sleep (not a concentration only technique, that would actually keep you awake), ashwagandha and as the second supplement either melatonin (which you can´t use everyday) or valerian root.

[Michael569]

What does your day routine look like? 

Basically your body goes through endocrine and neurological shifts from the moment you wake up and it is important to align those peaks with how you spend the day. For example you should get a proper daylight every morning within 60 minutes of waking up. Also you should make sure you eat that first meal within that time too. It really matters from the endocrino-neurological perspective. This is also the best time to get some exercise, early on in the day. 

Next thing you also want to make sure that as the day progresses you use less and less blue light and switch to more warmer lights. Put blue light blocking glasses on at about 6 pm and wear them till the bed time. At this time of the day i'd gradually start weaning off from all stimulating activity. 

Switch off your PC about 90 minutes before bedtime latest and don't use phone or watch TV after that time either. I wouldn't eat a high carb meal too late either. This time you can actually light a candle and carry it around. Keep just enough light to avoid bumping into the walls. This time is ideal for reading, yoga, meditation, some light journalling but you want to absolutely stay away from all types of dopaminergic or adrenal stimulation (e.g. exercise, phone, video games etc) 

Andrew Huberman has a great video on this where he goes in-depth on these phases 

Of course overall nutrition is important but that would be too complex to break down here. 

In terms of some support, you could experiment with drinking chamomile tea in the second part of the day. Make sure you don't drink coffee after 12 am, you might be sensitive to caffeine so worth experimenting with that too. Some Valerian Root tincture could help as well as an additional support. 

If stress or anxieties are preventing you from falling asleep it could be that your cortisol is peaking in the evening for some reason. Could be the structure of the day (e.g spending too much time indors) but could also be other things like different types of worries and fears which ofcourse need to be worked on. 

The temperature of the room matters a lot. If it is too hot, sleep will be difficult. Tune the heating down & open a window if possible. You want to keep your room slightly cool but not cold 

Other than that I'd need more info to give more specific advice. Hope this helps 

[lostingenosmaze]

@Yoremo Check out Better Than Yesterday. That YouTube channel's big on sleep. Lots of practical lessons and tips you could apply immediately:

 

[peanutspathtotruth]

Sometimes, bad sleep can't be fixed through a better general lifestyle only, because the main reason for it is acute stress, irritation - a very active egoic mind in pain. If this is so, maybe these aids help:

• Moon milk before sleep: Ashwagandha, Tumeric, Cinnamon, Coconut Oil, Honey in plant milk (cook for 5 minutes) take 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of ashwagandha. 
• Magnesium before sleep: Take 400mg
• Exercise 
• Listen to nature sounds (seriously, this is so helpful to calm the whole nervous system)

And, most importantly: Allow yourself to dive into the emotional pain you're feeling. Yes, it will get intense, yes, it will be even more painful when you dive in. But the only way out is through. Take up the courage and love for yourself to surrender to whatever you feel. We tend to run away from this simple encounter with our inner state for weeks, months, years. It just takes 2 hours of doing nothing else but letting go of running away. Simply being with the pain. Deeply sinking into it so you become the pain. This is ultimately the only way. 

Edited February 10, 2022 by peanutspathtotruth

[Yoremo]

@peanutspathtotruth I´ll try the moon milk and listening to nature sounds. Thanks bro!

@lostingenosmaze thank you, got some good stuff from there.

@Salvijus yeah, the shower usually becomes sort of a meditation for me before bed.

@Michael569 my day routine on week days is: wake up, brush teeth and make myself ready, ride the bus to school and meditate, go to school, get home and workout, eat, shower, go to bed. Basically. During the weekends though I usually workout by 12 am. My sleep schedule is consistent throughout the week except for some weekends when i have severely fucked up then I´ll take a couple extra hours of sleep in the morning.

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Basically your body goes through endocrine and neurological shifts from the moment you wake up and it is important to align those peaks with how you spend the day. For example you should get a proper daylight every morning within 60 minutes of waking up. Also you should make sure you eat that first meal within that time too. It really matters from the endocrino-neurological perspective. This is also the best time to get some exercise, early on in the day. 

This is great stuff, thanks. I can´t get sunlight though during the weeks as sun goes up super late here in sweden and I am stuck in school during the days so when I am out of school it´s dark outside again (depressing af). I have done intermittent fasting for a while now but I will break that of now as it gets in the way I feel, do you think that is a good idea? Then could I just do like a small cycle of pushups and pullups in the morning as exercise? I can´t run or anything in atleast a couple of months as I am injured.

 

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Next thing you also want to make sure that as the day progresses you use less and less blue light and switch to more warmer lights. Put blue light blocking glasses on at about 6 pm and wear them till the bed time. At this time of the day i'd gradually start weaning off from all stimulating activity. 

Switch off your PC about 90 minutes before bedtime latest and don't use phone or watch TV after that time either. I wouldn't eat a high carb meal too late either. This time you can actually light a candle and carry it around. Keep just enough light to avoid bumping into the walls. This time is ideal for reading, yoga, meditation, some light journalling but you want to absolutely stay away from all types of dopaminergic or adrenal stimulation (e.g. exercise, phone, video games etc) 

I have tried blue blocking glasses but they don´t really seem to help that much, and they don´t quite fit me so they glide down all the time which makes me not use them.

As a evening routine, could I just sit and be in quiet and just kind of think and meditate, no real structure just sitting in my chair and just sitting and then when i am sleepy I go to bed? I however don´t want  my evening routine to be too long as I already have very little time to do things and sleep.

As for food, I am restricted by what my parents cook me and what I get in school. And I have tried to speak rationally to my parents and tried to initiate a change but as you probably would have guessed that did not go very well so I am just trying to eat as good as I can when I can choose to I guess

[Michael569]

16 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

This is great stuff, thanks. I can´t get sunlight though during the weeks as sun goes up super late here in sweden and I am stuck in school during the days so when I am out of school it´s dark outside again (depressing af)

Hmm, not sure how much you can do at school other than go outside during the breaks between sessions. Even 5-10 minutes would help. Spend a minute towards looking up at the sky (not directly at the sun) and get the retina exposed to daylight. 

16 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

have done intermittent fasting for a while now but I will break that of now as it gets in the way I feel, do you think that is a good idea?

I'd reconsider this and try actually eating breakfast, might make a lot of difference. Also, the quality of the breakfast is important. You want something with a low glycemic load, high fibre with a decent amount of fruits (sweet breakfast) or veggies (salty breakfast) and definitely stay away from toasts, breakfast cereals, Nutella, bacon and that sort of crap. 

16 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

As a evening routine, could I just sit and be in quiet and just kind of think and meditate, no real structure just sitting in my chair and just sitting and then when i am sleepy I go to bed

that works, whatever helps to put your mind at ease

16 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

As for food, I am restricted by what my parents cook me and what I get in school. And I have tried to speak rationally to my parents and tried to initiate a change but as you probably would have guessed that did not go very well so I am just trying to eat as good as I can when I can choose to I guess

Yeah, I understand that struggle, was something I had to fight against my entire youth and eventually the only thing that worked was moving out.  Rationalise it in the way that you'd like to experiment and not burden anyone with it. Are you receiving any pocket money you could potentially spend on some meal prep? or do you have any small income? Alternatively,  you can prepare something in the evening once the kitchen is free and eat it in the morning such as overnight oats...but if the family is super resistant to that it gets a bit challenging, I totally sympathise with you 

[Nahm]

@Yoremo

HOW TO USE THE SCALE

• Choose the emotion on the scale which is experienced.
• Express simply & earnestly that the emotion is experienced.
• Then do the same with the next higher emotion on the scale.
• Don’t skip over any emotions or stop before finishing the scale.
• Feel for the subtle shift of feeling better with the expression of each emotion.

Emotion is guidance… to the experiencing of… what is wanted.
Expression of emotions experienced is not ‘about myself’.
It’s just about the expressing.
Keep it simple.
?

[Yoremo]

@Michael569 I´ll definitely try to get out during the sunny days. Would a breakfast of fried eggs and fruit be good? or should I switch out the eggs toward like porridge?

[Yoremo]

@Nahm okay, so I just did it. And I did feel better. 4 questions.

1: can I do this like if I am in school or any other kind of "stressful" environment? because up until now I have not been doing that there and therefore I stoped.

2: this expressing emotions, is it just "I am feeling irritated" or should I actually play out the emotion of irritation like "I am so pissed that he did that" or a combination of the first and second example? 

3: I have learned about the sedona method which is basically just feeling into emotions and then they stop controlling you. Does this correlate to that in some way?

4: the last time I did it I noticed I had more negative self talk, was maybe this because I expressed and found the negative emotions creatively as in the second example in my question nr. 2?

Edited February 10, 2022 by Yoremo

[Nahm]

15 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

@Nahm okay, so I just did it. And I did feel better. 4 questions.

1: can I do this like if I am in school or any other kind of "stressful" environment? because up until now I have not been doing that there and therefore I stoped.

Let go of the thought /conceptualization ‘stressful environment’, and instead look at the scale and see which emotion that “stress” actually is. 

Not only can the scale be used anytime, but it’s like riding a bike. After some practice, so to speak, the bodymind automatically calibrates, and inevitably there are no more ‘dips’ scale / vibration wise, and school is no longer judged, or experienced as a ‘stressful environment’. ? And experience is just, much more fun, and opportunities (what you want!) literally just, happens. What you want just flows into experience, and is enjoyed - just like riding a bike. The attention is on the scene, the experience, not the conceptualizations of. 

Quote

2: this expressing emotions, is it just "I am feeling irritated" or should I actually play out the emotion of irritation like "I am so pissed that he did that" or a combination of the first and second example? 

I am feeling irritated… I’m experiencing the emotion, irritation. 

(Expression of emotions experienced is not ‘about myself’.)

Expression is pure freedom. There’s no right or wrong to it. ? Express whatever arises. I’m offering suggestions, not corrections. 

Quote

3: I have learned about the sedona method which is basically just feeling into emotions and then they stop controlling you. Does this correlate to that in some way?

No. Emotion is guidance, not an enemy, not plural, not a ‘controller’ at all. 

Quote

4: the last time I did it I noticed I had more negative self talk, was maybe this because I expressed and found the negative emotions creatively as in the second example in my question nr. 2?

No. There are no negative emotions. There is no negative self talk. The emotions felt, are the guidance to what you want. Certainly not “negative”! 

Judgement is a lousy sleeping partner. It’ll keep ya up all night. ?

[Yoremo]

7 minutes ago, Nahm said:

I am feeling irritated… I’m experiencing the emotion, irritation. 

Expression is pure freedom. There’s no right or wrong to it. ? Express whatever arises. I’m offering suggestions, not corrections. 

@Nahm Okay, so I look at the emotion and I express what I feel and what arises. So there is no need to actually express the "I am feeling irritated"? I am just expressing what I feel when I see "irritation" on the emotional scale, which will be very random I suppose.

Sorry for asking so many follow up questions, but if I wouldn´t I don´t think I would do it at all. Thank you for being so patient with me

Edited February 10, 2022 by Yoremo

[Nahm]

4 minutes ago, Yoremo said:

Okay, so I look at the emotion and I express what I feel and what arises.

Yep ?? 

Quote

So there is no need to actually express the "I am feeling irritated"?

The focus here is on the emotion. There’s no call or need for self referential thinking at all. 

Quote

I am just expressing what I feel when I see "irritation" on the emotional scale, which will be very random I suppose.

There’s no random. It’s guidance in regard to what thoughts are focused upon. 

Quote

Sorry for asking so many follow up questions, but if I wouldn´t I don´t think I would do it at all. Thank you for being so patient with me

(Imo) Never be sorry for inspecting. It’s The Way. Asking questions, looking into things so to speak, brings about more & more clarity. (And more fun, and more of what you are wanting!). 

[Yoremo]

4 hours ago, peanutspathtotruth said:

Sometimes, bad sleep can't be fixed through a better general lifestyle only, because the main reason for it is acute stress, irritation - a very active egoic mind in pain. If this is so, maybe these aids help:

• Moon milk before sleep: Ashwagandha, Tumeric, Cinnamon, Coconut Oil, Honey in plant milk (cook for 5 minutes) take 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of ashwagandha. 
• Magnesium before sleep: Take 400mg
• Exercise 
• Listen to nature sounds (seriously, this is so helpful to calm the whole nervous system)

And, most importantly: Allow yourself to dive into the emotional pain you're feeling. Yes, it will get intense, yes, it will be even more painful when you dive in. But the only way out is through. Take up the courage and love for yourself to surrender to whatever you feel. We tend to run away from this simple encounter with our inner state for weeks, months, years. It just takes 2 hours of doing nothing else but letting go of running away. Simply being with the pain. Deeply sinking into it so you become the pain. This is ultimately the only way. 

@peanutspathtotruthI am a complete noob when it comes to nutrition, but cooking doesn´t reduce the nutrients? just wondering.

Then another question, I have been doing shadow work and going deeply into my emotions and letting myself feel it for hours. This has led me to feel worse the last couple of days. Is this a normal response to facing my emotions? Because I have never felt as depressed as I did yesterday and that is what made it I think. Is this ego backlash?

Edited February 10, 2022 by Yoremo