Gf told me she had unprotected sex before

[Yonkon]

Hey there,

Yesterday I talked with my girl and she said she slept with a guy without a using a condom before she met me. It was a friend and they knew each other.

I have huge anxiety over catching Std's so this triggered me pretty hard.

Right now I am depressed and worried, i don't want to sleep with her anymore to be honest.

Am I overreacting? How to deal with this situation?

(We are using always a condom by the way)

[max duewel]

Let her make an STD test or she can test herself at her woman doctor.

[Leo Gura]

So what? Who cares?

Just get her an STD test. Problem solved.

[hyruga]

Does it matter? 

You are wearing a condom anyway so you are more or less protected. 

If you really love her, man up and marry her.

 

[hamedsf]

there are some pros and cons to meat-to-meat work. deal with it!

 

[Preety_India]

If you don't want to sleep with her, then let her go. 

 

[Yonkon]

@max duewel @Leo Gura @hamedsf 

She will make a test but it will take a few weeks till we get them.

Would you guys still sleep with her in the meantime? My friends are saying it's not a big deal and a lot of women are doing it from time to time so it doesn't really matter. 

 

[Waves]

18 hours ago, Yonkon said:

Right now I am depressed and worried, i don't want to sleep with her anymore to be honest.

I would investigate why you feel that way. Is it strictly connected to the fact that you don't want to catch STDs or is there something deeper, like you cannot accept that she had such sexual experiences in the past?

I could be totally projecting here, I'm still trying to deconstruct the social conditioning of the Madonna-whore complex. If this rings a bell, I have a really good video for you: Triggered by Sexually Liberated Women?

 

[KaRzual]

On 17.08.2021 at 1:06 PM, Yonkon said:

Would you guys still sleep with her in the meantime?

Ask yourself 

[Farnaby]

On 17/8/2021 at 1:06 PM, Yonkon said:

Would you guys still sleep with her in the meantime?

I mean I had other plans for today, but maybe I can make room for that if you insist ?

Just kidding. If you are using condoms there is little to worry about. You can always voice your concerns and ask her if she's willing to do an STD test. 

Also, like another person said, I would explore if this worry is tied to some deeper insecurities. 

I used to get triggered (and still do a little) when my previous girlfriends went partying and drinking. Upon exploring it, what I was actually afraid of is that they could be uninhibited and flirt with other guys or cheat on me. 

Maybe something similar is going on in your case. 

[Yonkon]

Some good news! she got the test and even got the results already: everything is fine.

We talked about our sexual past and experiences with other people, this was quite enlightening for me. 

Because we are now both tested on the most common Std's, we decided to continue without condoms! 

So this whole experience was quite bonding for us both. Thanks for your support everyone ❤️

@Farnaby

As soon as I typed my post I knew someone would make a joke like that

And yes, i did some soul searching the last few days and it is indeed connected with deeper fears. On the one hand, it is connected to the Madonna/Whore complex as @Waves suggested. On the other hand, it has to do with all the shame, guilt and anxiety I have in general about sexuality. So there is still a lot to unpack..

[Leo Gura]

@Yonkon Raw doggin'

You like to live dangerously.

[somegirl]

@Leo Gura

19 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Yonkon Raw doggin'

You like to live dangerously.

Isn't it safe to when they both got tested? 

[Jacko]

Shes using a contraceptive?

[Yonkon]

@Jacko yes she is