Just Watched The Life Purpose Course Advertisement. Now I'm Sad.

[Bizarre]

@DimmedBulb

Can I offer some more tips?

That's my manly way of responding to a cry for help 

Meditation is not focusing. You don't have to be that hard on yourself.

Do it on the train, at your desk, in the bath, whatever you want.

Do a little body scan which will relax you. Just put attention on your head, face, shoulders, arms and work down. Takes two mins.

Then three deep breaths. Watch the breath for a minute and then let the mind run for a moment. 

Then just sit in the bliss of the silence that pervades everything. That's you, awareness. Just let go.  You can think. You can feel. Do what you want. The point is to just learn to relax for a while . 

No big deal. 

"Succeed"at this little programme first. A little meditation habit (no hardcore SDS or anything like that) and the little gratitude thought experiment. That's all you need. Then success will come. 

Edited November 15, 2016 by Bizarre

[Vercingetorix]

I would suggest doing the Life purpose course as there is definitely a lot of focus on motivation in it.
It would also help you understand yourself and whats important for you, and that can really help in your indecisiveness.
If you see yourself wasting your time doing unproductive things that sure as hell you should do it instead.

[Martin123]

On 15. 11. 2016 at 8:33 PM, Bizarre said:

I see a guy stuck at home with his head in books trying to learn everything he can to escape his childhood. 

 

So like... was Gandhi trying to escape his childhood as well?

[Taavi]

Buy his books list. Read the books. Pirate them if you do not have the money. This forum probably wont help you in any meaningful way. In the end you are the one who is responsible for your actions and can know your situation the best.

The books help a lot. You get concepts, other peoples experience and surely a lot of laughs. Most important, the more you read and research the better your understanding will become of life as a whole, not just a few subjects.  Pump that information and practice in to your brain for a year or two and you can no longer live the way you do now. You would be so aware that it would pain you too much to continue.

[DimmedBulb]

@Taavi I did read one of the books that has been suggested multiple times in the Actualized videos, which was definitely a good read and I say that when I just flat out hate reading (so focus heavy and slow). I'll definitely consider it.

[Key Elements]

On 16/11/2016 at 0:46 AM, DimmedBulb said:

I listened to a song...Where do I go? What can I learn from this situation?

Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to do because we take them for granted.

I listened to a song too, the song below, and saw a metaphor. At 2:42, there is a man standing on the edge of the river pondering whether or not to swim across the river. At last, he just threw everything down and decided to swim across. He made it.

I took this as a metaphor. I asked myself, "Should I make video clips for my students and send it to them on WhatsApp?" Sometimes I also wait and ponder. Then, I decided to just pick up my mobile and record the clips and send them. It doesn't matter whether or not it's perfect. It's only for my students. So I did just that.

 

[The Monk]

@DimmedBulb Ask yourself this "will becoming sad help me to find my life purpose?". If the answer is no take 100% responsibility for YOUR LIFE, and do what's necessary to find that purpose or to buy that course. YOU have a limited amount of time on this earth, and are you going to sit there weeping? NO! GET up, get up and fight for your life. Fight for your purpose, and make your life purpose become true! Don't waste anymore time. 

GO AND DO IT!

[DimmedBulb]

@Aamir King That kind of thinking actually makes me feel guilty, because I'm not doing what I'm "supposed to be doing".

[The Monk]

@DimmedBulb Then make a 100% commitment to start tomorrow! It's as simple as that. Your ego wants you to say that! Go against it, and fight for your higher self not your lower self aka what your ego wants, as it hates change. Which is what overtime will leave you fulfilled, happy and satisfied. But, right now it just seems painful, as it's likely that your procrastinating, if that's the issue watch Leo's video on how to stop procrastinating. 

Edited November 30, 2016 by Aamir King

[DimmedBulb]

@Aamir King It's definitely resistance the nth degree, as well as emotional trauma.

[Elisabeth]

10 hours ago, DimmedBulb said:

That kind of thinking actually makes me feel guilty, because I'm not doing what I'm "supposed to be doing".

Then doing this kind of thinking is not going to serve you well. 

I also think feeling sad is not a bad thing. It is your starting point just now. You have made a realization, that you want more from your life, and you are sad for the time you have already spent in unsatisfactory ways. I would actually start with working with that feeling, writing down exactly what you feel and think and any associations - for me, that would be many handwritten pages and maybe a picture. Then I would sleep on it and decide what to do next day. 

I disagree with @Bizarre  on almost everything: but he has one point. Star very slow, babystep. Pick something, that feels easy to do. 5 minutes of meditation on your way to work? How nice. Writing down three things that brough you pleasure or that you are greatful for each day, if that is your thing? Recommended by 9/10 psychiatrists  Planning events that you can look forward to? Great improvement to your life. Pick one thing to do. What else feels easy to you?  

Edited December 1, 2016 by Elisabeth

[DimmedBulb]

54 minutes ago, Elisabeth said:

What else feels easy to you?  

I'll just start off with those, because doing more than that has in the past turned into crashing and burning.

Edited December 1, 2016 by DimmedBulb

[Elisabeth]

33 minutes ago, DimmedBulb said:

I'll just start off with those, because doing more than that has in the past turned into crashing and burning.

Sure  They were just random suggestions though, I don't know your situation. 

[ParanoidAndroid]

So I think there are two components to this. First component is practical: You need to make a physical change in your life. It would probably be a good idea to implement some good daily habits. I think meditation could help you a lot. It doesn't need to be for long period of time. Start off just doing 5 minutes every day. Have you watched any of Leo's videos on meditation? Also, do you have any hobbies? Things that you enjoy doing such as playing an instrument, sport, art, writing etc? Creating something or doing something productive would be really helpful.

The second component in mental or phycological (this could also include the meditation I suppose): As other people have mentioned, practice gratitude. Think about how amazing life is. Sometimes it's also good to let your feelings out. Feel your emotions fully. Self-acceptance is also really important. Don't get self acceptance confused with not bothering to change your life. You need to accept and love yourself before you can change and infact accepting and loving yourself will motivate you to change your life. Feel compassion for yourself and know that you are not alone.

How are you getting on, since it's been a month or so since you posted?

[DimmedBulb]

@Atticus

3 hours ago, Atticus said:

How are you getting on, since it's been a month or so since you posted?

Homeostasis and inconsistency kicked my ass, as it likes to do, so I'm still nowhere. Tried reading, but the resistance to that has built up a lot, so I could only keep that up for a week. I meditated once and couldn't follow up the next day. It doesn't help I'm pretty forgetful. I don't go outside anymore either. I'm in my room 23 hours a day basically.

4 hours ago, Atticus said:

do you have any hobbies? Things that you enjoy doing such as playing an instrument, sport, art, writing etc?

Weirdly enough, I forget I like singing and music quite often, but I do have a singing practice habit. I'm not that mindful during that though. I'm not really listening to my body or the sound or what have you. It's mostly autopilot, very rigidly planned.

4 hours ago, Atticus said:

Sometimes it's also good to let your feelings out. Feel your emotions fully.

I get hyperrational and apathetic, so that's definitely necessary.

[eskwire]

On 11/15/2016 at 1:33 PM, Bizarre said:

Because I don't see a guy reaching his"potential". I see a guy stuck at home with his head in books trying to learn everything he can to escape his childhood.

There's so much wrong with this.

1. We are all reaching our potential at any given moment based on what is for real in reality rather than what we believe reality should be. That is basically your advice. And I agree. But you should also apply it to Leo.

2. How is someone who is clearly stoked on learning stuck by reading? 

3. How do you even know what he does all day?

4. Is it wrong to want to improve your development from the level of development achieved by your parents? Is that not evolution? Is that not what our parents want for us?

I don't think it's necessary to attack personal development or Leo to teach the lesson that accepting yourself is important. In fact, it's part of personal development, because it's acceptance of reality. 

Edited January 15, 2017 by eskwire

[ParanoidAndroid]

3 hours ago, DimmedBulb said:

@Atticus

Homeostasis and inconsistency kicked my ass, as it likes to do, so I'm still nowhere. Tried reading, but the resistance to that has built up a lot, so I could only keep that up for a week. I meditated once and couldn't follow up the next day. It doesn't help I'm pretty forgetful. I don't go outside anymore either. I'm in my room 23 hours a day basically.

Weirdly enough, I forget I like singing and music quite often, but I do have a singing practice habit. I'm not that mindful during that though. I'm not really listening to my body or the sound or what have you. It's mostly autopilot, very rigidly planned.

I get hyperrational and apathetic, so that's definitely necessary.

Ok but clearly you have some desire to change your life, since you're on this forum, right? 

Why do you have resistance to reading?

How many of Leo's videos have you watched?

I think it would be healthy to go outside once a day, or at least a couple of times a week if you can't manage that. Take long walks. Go for a day trip out in nature somewhere and just immerse yourself in that. Spending time in nature can be really cleansing and get rid of all the negative bullshit in your head.

Seriously, the meditation is really important. I mean, really, really important. You can only change yourself if you are mindful of what you are doing.

Something else that will help is reducing time spent in front of screens. You said previously that you binged on a show you didn't even like. Well cut that out. How much time a day do you spend on your computer/smartphone/t.v? If you spend too much time on your smartphone it could be helpful to give it up for a month. It's a huge distraction and It's really not as hard as you think to give it up. Getting rid off distractions is important in order to understand why you're so apathetic. Investigate the root cause of these problems. I suspect that it's to do with self-esteem/self-confidence/self love. 

Think about the fact that you only have limited time on Earth, you only have one life. Dedicate yourself to changing your life. Have faith in yourself! You can do it!

[Guest username]

You reek of victim mentality and excuses.

Not insulting you, tough love.

[DimmedBulb]

11 hours ago, Atticus said:

Ok but clearly you have some desire to change your life, since you're on this forum, right? 

I reckon it's mostly mental masturbation to numb the pain of not being able to fulfill the bs notion of self-importance.

Quote

Why do you have resistance to reading?

Because it's hard work I can't focus on. If you ask me to read a page of a book and really absorb the information in there, I'll freak out over the amount of work it'll take.

11 hours ago, Atticus said:

How many of Leo's videos have you watched?

Something in the realm of 50. That'd be a really rough estimate at least.

11 hours ago, Atticus said:

I think it would be healthy to go outside once a day, or at least a couple of times a week if you can't manage that. Take long walks. Go for a day trip out in nature somewhere and just immerse yourself in that. Spending time in nature can be really cleansing and get rid of all the negative bullshit in your head.

I had promised myself that, once I got my driver's license, I'd go to the forest to drive there (it's too far to bike there). That's two years ago. It's not that I don't like being outdoors. I just don't want to, I guess. But I do. But I don't. It's weird like that.

11 hours ago, Atticus said:

Seriously, the meditation is really important. I mean, really, really important. You can only change yourself if you are mindful of what you are doing.

Definitely.

11 hours ago, Atticus said:

How much time a day do you spend on your computer/smartphone/t.v?

95% of my day if that makes sense. So probably 15 hours.

11 hours ago, Atticus said:

It's really not as hard as you think to give it up.

Tried that... multiple times. I'd either undermine the process or go back to the same old after that month.

11 hours ago, Atticus said:

Investigate the root cause of these problems. I suspect that it's to do with self-esteem/self-confidence/self love. 

It's having been bullied and my mom having a second child against my 2 year old self's will.

Edited January 16, 2017 by DimmedBulb

[ajasatya]

@DimmedBulb stop running away from that pain and actually feel it for once. feel it all.

you're not supposed to do anything in prior except for becoming able to buy your own food. you're just fine with simply being. people struggle because they fight against just being. thats complete insanity because that's what really happens all the time. we're not going anywhere no matter what we do. we're all just being.

Edited January 16, 2017 by ajasatya