Preety_India

Examples of Screening Tests that I need to run on potential dates?

35 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I'm looking forward to dating again after a brief gap. 

I had a breakup earlier this year and now I have recovered from that. 

I'm planning to date several guys at once, like meeting and getting to know them 

I want to test them as I go along interacting with them. 

I want to throw some shit tests at these potential dates so that I can make a suitable choice for a future lifelong partner /husband. 

If you are well experienced with dating and making choices please give me a long/short list of shit tests that I can use with potential matches so I can make a good choice

Tell me some general shit tests(with details or examples preferably) that women employ in dating scenarios to get a good match for themselves. 

Qualities I'm looking for in my potential dates are 

  • Loyalty 
  • Friendship 
  • Sweetness
  • Truthful 
  • Easy going
  • Sensitive 
  • Understanding 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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1. If they talk too much about themselves and are not geniounly interested about you- BIG PROBLEM

2. If they brag too much and are not humble-  BIG PROBLEM

3. If they do not do the small gentleman stuff like opening door, paying for you (cultural so depends where), suggest to walk you home (if that could be a thing) etc -Problem

4. If they look at other females like waiter etc- Problem

5. You can ask them about a specific thing you said, so come back at it in a way to see if they were paying attention or not to what you were saying.

6. If they act overly dominant or assertive- Can be a problem. Confidence yes, overly domininant no.

7. You can tease him a bit and see the reaction, if person gets too butthurt or takes it way too seriously- Can be a problem unless it is a hurtful comment like commenting on their appearance, income etc.

8. You can test their intellectual capability or knowledge by doing a bit of deep conversations, not too much but just a bit to get a feel if the person would be compatible about that stuff.

Hope it helps, im not expert but i am very good at reading people from a few meetings and get a good feel for their personality. 

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4 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

1. If they talk too much about themselves and are not geniounly interested about you- BIG PROBLEM

2. If they brag too much and are not humble-  BIG PROBLEM

3. If they do not do the small gentleman stuff like opening door, paying for you (cultural so depends where), suggest to walk you home (if that could be a thing) etc -Problem

4. If they look at other females like waiter etc- Problem

5. You can ask them about a specific thing you said, so come back at it in a way to see if they were paying attention or not to what you were saying.

6. If they act overly dominant or assertive- Can be a problem. Confidence yes, overly domininant no.

7. You can tease him a bit and see the reaction, if person gets too butthurt or takes it way too seriously- Can be a problem unless it is a hurtful comment like commenting on their appearance, income etc.

8. You can test their intellectual capability or knowledge by doing a bit of deep conversations, not too much but just a bit to get a feel if the person would be compatible about that stuff.

Hope it helps, im not expert but i am very good at reading people from a few meetings and get a good feel for their personality. 

4 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

1. If they talk too much about themselves and are not geniounly interested about you- BIG PROBLEM

2. If they brag too much and are not humble-  BIG PROBLEM

3. If they do not do the small gentleman stuff like opening door, paying for you (cultural so depends where), suggest to walk you home (if that could be a thing) etc -Problem

4. If they look at other females like waiter etc- Problem

5. You can ask them about a specific thing you said, so come back at it in a way to see if they were paying attention or not to what you were saying.

6. If they act overly dominant or assertive- Can be a problem. Confidence yes, overly domininant no.

7. You can tease him a bit and see the reaction, if person gets too butthurt or takes it way too seriously- Can be a problem unless it is a hurtful comment like commenting on their appearance, income etc.

8. You can test their intellectual capability or knowledge by doing a bit of deep conversations, not too much but just a bit to get a feel if the person would be compatible about that stuff.

Hope it helps, im not expert but i am very good at reading people from a few meetings and get a good feel for their personality. 

Hey thank you so much. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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Sleep with them at the end of the first date, that'll definitely tell you all you need to know.

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Posted (edited)

3 minutes ago, Ghartok Padhome said:

Sleep with them at the end of the first date, that'll definitely tell you all you need to know.

What do you mean? 

Why should I sleep with them? 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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This is creepy as shit.

Develop all those values in yourself and you'll naturally be able to see if others have them. Instead of trying to manipulate them like a sociopath. 

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1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

I want to throw some shit tests at these potential dates so that I can make a suitable choice for a future lifelong partner /husband. 

 

Qualities I'm looking for in my potential dates are 

  • Loyalty 
  • Friendship 
  • Sweetness
  • Truthful 
  • Easy going
  • Sensitive 
  • Understanding 

 

Throwing shit tests at men won't reveal these qualities. In the beginning, both parties tend to put on their best face.

It's only when a relationship is established that you can see whether they have those qualities or not. 

Try looking at the subtleties.

Does he have close friends that he can trust 100%? A lot of men don't, and so they don't really know loyalty or friendship. 

As for truthfulness, does he give straight answers, or does he try to downplay certain things, deflects, acids giving a real answer? Here you can pay attention to his general structure of his sentences. 

Easygoing. You can just tell off of vibes on this one. 

Sensitive. This is a tough one, guys don't like to show their sensitivity outright, me included. Again, subtle details. Does it seem like he's anticipating your needs/feelings and is accomadating them somehow? This can be very under the radar, like you seem tired or something, and then he nonchalantly says something like "I'm gonna make myself some coffee, you want some?"

Understanding. Just talk about stuff and see if he gets it. 

Sweetness is something I'd recommend not putting too much importance on. As a side effect it's nice, but on it's own it could be deceptive. Sweetness is pretty much how well he can play to your sentimentalities. You yourself have had bad experiences with guys doing this. 

 

I'm not a woman though, nor do I date men, but I do analyze people. 

As for shit tests-- if they're smart enough to know your shit testing them, then they won't take you seriously as a long term partner if you do it too much. Though generally some shit testing is expected xD

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49 minutes ago, Opo said:

This is creepy as shit.

Develop all those values in yourself and you'll naturally be able to see if others have them. Instead of trying to manipulate them like a sociopath. 

Whats manipulative about it. I'm looking for values I want in a long term partner. Of course they would test me as well in their own ways. 

That's how dating works, it's about getting to know each other well. 

Please avoid using language like "sociopath". Very disrespectful.

Everyone does shit testing in their own ways if you aren't aware. 

Stop acting like a kid. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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50 minutes ago, Chew211 said:

Throwing shit tests at men won't reveal these qualities. In the beginning, both parties tend to put on their best face.

It's only when a relationship is established that you can see whether they have those qualities or not. 

Try looking at the subtleties.

Does he have close friends that he can trust 100%? A lot of men don't, and so they don't really know loyalty or friendship. 

As for truthfulness, does he give straight answers, or does he try to downplay certain things, deflects, acids giving a real answer? Here you can pay attention to his general structure of his sentences. 

Easygoing. You can just tell off of vibes on this one. 

Sensitive. This is a tough one, guys don't like to show their sensitivity outright, me included. Again, subtle details. Does it seem like he's anticipating your needs/feelings and is accomadating them somehow? This can be very under the radar, like you seem tired or something, and then he nonchalantly says something like "I'm gonna make myself some coffee, you want some?"

Understanding. Just talk about stuff and see if he gets it. 

Sweetness is something I'd recommend not putting too much importance on. As a side effect it's nice, but on it's own it could be deceptive. Sweetness is pretty much how well he can play to your sentimentalities. You yourself have had bad experiences with guys doing this. 

 

I'm not a woman though, nor do I date men, but I do analyze people. 

As for shit tests-- if they're smart enough to know your shit testing them, then they won't take you seriously as a long term partner if you do it too much. Though generally some shit testing is expected xD

Some great suggestions. Definitely noting. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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26 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Whats manipulative about it. I'm looking for values I want in a long term partner. Of course they would test me as well in their own ways. 

That's how dating works, it's about getting to know each other well. 

Please avoid using language like "sociopath". Very disrespectful.

Everyone does shit testing in their own ways if you aren't aware. 

Stop acting like a kid. 

 

There is a difference between asking someone something and seeing how they respond or just watching how they act and judging that vs actively trying to develop sneaky tests and asking people about their own tests that they have developed so you could extract some information out of your future husband. 

Can someone tell me if I'm wrong? It's possible I misunderstood her.

About the word sociopath would it be more accurate if I used autistic? 

Or is it the just the fact that those words are negative so I shouldn't use them? 

Or maybe something third? 

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1 hour ago, Opo said:

This is creepy as shit.

Develop all those values in yourself and you'll naturally be able to see if others have them. Instead of trying to manipulate them like a sociopath. 

I Agree 100%,I tried to tag  you in the thread that was made an hour ago in the dating section about preety, but I can’t tag for some reason so just making you aware this way

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Just now, Opo said:

There is a difference between asking someone something and seeing how they respond or just watching how they act and judging that vs actively trying to develop sneaky tests and asking people about their own tests that they have developed so you could extract some information out of your future husband. 

Can someone tell me if I'm wrong? It's possible I misunderstood her.

About the word sociopath would it be more accurate if I used autistic? 

Or is it the just the fact that those words are negative so I shouldn't use them? 

Or maybe something third? 

Where did I mention that the tests were sneaky? 

Where? Just show me? 

I asked for clear examples. 

Clear examples can be direct questions or simply observing someone's behavior during a date or seeing how they answer a question and what can be implied about it? 

You think that that is sociopathy then maybe check the definition of sociopath? 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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Finding out someone's intentions and compatibility asap is good for both people.  Saves time!  Also, women have to be more cautious with dating.  It's like that saying, "Men are afraid women will laugh at them.  Women are afraid men will kill them."

Dr Phil’s book “Love Smart” has a chapter about figuring out people's values and intentions quickly.  It’s the 9th chapter, called “Infrared Dating”.  The whole book is pretty good, so it’s worth buying or getting from the library.  Here’s a tiny sample of the book on Google Books.

The chapter is about asking normal questions to find out what someone’s all about without looking obvious about it.  After all, if someone feels defensive they’re likely to give defensive answers.

Dr Phil used to do jury selection where you have to figure out within a few minutes if someone’s likely to side with your client or not.  He was super successful at it.  You can apply those same people reading skills to dating.

The best predictor of future behavior is relevant past behavior.  So if you want to know if the guy you’re dating is commitment oriented, you’d see if he has a pattern of committing to things.  How long has he held down a job?  Is he a responsible pet owner?  How long are his closest friendships?  If most of his friends are married with kids, there’s a good chance he’s thinking about those things too.

There’s tons of innocent but substantive questions you can ask.  The book shows you how to read what’s behind people’s answers. 

This applies to men and women.  You could also use this to find out if a girl is a wild partier who doesn’t want a boyfriend.

The book’s pretty good (it came out in 2006, so it’s a bit dated).  However, the chapter on “Infrared Dating” is quite brilliant, so I’d check it out.

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13 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

I Agree 100%,I tried to tag  you in the thread that was made an hour ago in the dating section about preety, but I can’t tag for some reason so just making you aware this way

You typed opo instead of Opo. 

That's probably why. 

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13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Where did I mention that the tests were sneaky? 

When you can't tell on your own and have to use tests it's sneaky. 

If you want a sensitive guy try to understand people without silly tests. 

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1 minute ago, Opo said:

When you can't tell on your own and have to use tests it's sneaky. 

If you want a sensitive guy try to understand people without silly tests. 

I don't think these are silly tests. 

Like the above user stated a point 

". If they act overly dominant or assertive- Can be a problem. Confidence yes, overly domininant no." 

Yes he got a point. If the date is acting overly dominant then that should be a red flag. 

No? 

I'm simply asking people to give me pointers on what I should be watching out for when I'm on a date. 

Certain things I already know and I wanted more clues that people are helping me with on here 

I absolutely see nothing sneaky about getting to know a date better with potential help from people about clues and pointers. 

Maybe their experience and examples can help me look out for red flags that I might not be aware of? 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I don't think these are silly tests. 

Like the above user stated a point 

". If they act overly dominant or assertive- Can be a problem. Confidence yes, overly domininant no." 

This is not a test. 

When I heard a test I thought of something like I'm gonna get my male friend to act like a douche towards me so I can see how my date will respond. 

Would you say that something like this is sociopathic? 

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Yes he got a point. If the date is acting overly dominant then that should be a red flag. 

No? 

Of course. 

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

I'm simply asking people to give me pointers on what I should be watching out for when I'm on a date. 

Use pointers next time or tips or something like that. 

Instead of tests it sounds creepy. 

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Certain things I already know and I wanted more clues that people are helping me with on here 

I absolutely see nothing sneaky about getting to know a date better with potential help from people about clues and pointers. 

Maybe their experience and examples can help me look out for red flags that I might not be aware of? 

 

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Next time I'll ask you to explain your position better so we don't waste time talking about different things. 

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@Preety_India I think your title is misleading. "Shit tests" are not the same as "screening methods" which is what I think you mean. Shit tests can mean to actively put guys in weird spots to see how they react. I think it would be reasonable to say that shit tests in general can be somewhat manipulative, even though most women do it unconsciously. Screening methods however, I would say is not only reasonable but also prefreable. You should absolutely screen guys for certain traits.

 

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5 minutes ago, Opo said:

When I heard a test I thought of something like I'm gonna get my male friend to act like a douche towards me so I can see how my date will respond. 

Would you say that something like this is sociopathic? 

That would be douchey. I didn't mean it like that 

 

 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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