Preety_India

Examples of Screening Tests that I need to run on potential dates?

35 posts in this topic

17 minutes ago, Opo said:

Next time I'll ask you to explain your position better so we don't waste time talking about different things. 

OK I changed the title. I don't know what to call it exactly. I thought it was called shit tests. So I changed it to screening tests. I don't know if it's called screening tests. But I thought the responses would have probably helped you understand what I had been trying to say. Anyway too much confusion and misunderstanding over terms and I apologize. 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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5 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Qualities I'm looking for in my potential dates are 

  • Loyalty 
  • Friendship 
  • Sweetness
  • Truthful 
  • Easy going
  • Sensitive 
  • Understanding 

A "Shit test" is unlikely to reveal any of these qualities. He'll tell you what he thinks you want to hear so that he can end up sleeping with you.

I'd just go easy, natural and be you. No faking, no testing. Genuine human conversation. You can usually spot a lack of integrity pretty quickly. 


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4 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

A "Shit test" is unlikely to reveal any of these qualities. He'll tell you what he thinks you want to hear so that he can end up sleeping with you.

I'd just go easy, natural and be you. No faking, no testing. Genuine human conversation. You can usually spot a lack of integrity pretty quickly. 

I second this, after all you need to communicate in a very honest and open way if you want to have anything long term, it takes tolerance, effort, openness, honesty... Try to see how he acts when he disagrees, play devils advocate in a conversation. That might show you how open and stable he is.

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@Preety_India I guess what others said about like looking at his friend group could be helpful, sometimes other people spot for you. I guess the ability to realize when he is wrong is good. And humility.

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You cant really tell too much about a person from a date, except for vibes and stereotypes. After dating multiple people you quickly start to pick up on these things. You can only really judge someone's character by how the interact with other people and what worldviews they have but that takes time. 

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Don't date, just wait.

Work on yourself, attract better mates.

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Posted (edited)

The hardest part will be separating your fantasies about who you want them to be and who they actually are. 

Remain skeptical of everything said, don't indulge in how what he said or what he does makes you feel, that's the main trigger that will send you into your own world of idealism. 

Look for someone who is at your level of development. If he has no sense for spirituality then hes not the right match. Don't waist time with the average guy who has not lifted a finger in growth in development. This should be easy for you to identify, because of your background. 

Edited by integral

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Posted (edited)

Also maybe see how they respond when you tell them an issue. Do they hold space? Do they care about your well being? Do they validate your feelings? 

Also seeing if they're able to meet your wants and needs seems important to me. So getting clear on that and seeing if they can fulfill that. For example if someone has a need for intimacy, and the partner isn't meeting you there, it may be beneficial to see how important it is for you.  Some people say to list your non negotiables before entering a relationship. Things that are important or you walk 

Also getting clear on the other persons intentions and seeing if their actions match those words helps. If they don't, it's important to set strong boundaries and be willing to walk away. Feel and think abundance. Like if they say they are into a relationship with you but you catch them on Tinder, strong boundaries are important

 

 

 

Edited by Jacob Morres

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2 hours ago, integral said:

The hardest part will be separating your fantasies about who you want them to be and who they actually are. 

Remain skeptical of everything said, don't indulge in how what he said or what he does makes you feel, that's the main trigger that will send you into your own world of idealism. 

Look for someone who is at your level of development. If he has no sense for spirituality then hes not the right match. Don't waist time with the average guy who has not lifted a finger in growth in development. This should be easy for you to identify, because of your background. 

Totally...but hey it's quite a difficult task to find spiritually concerned mates...

I've noticed it's a priority atm. I miss something if they lack of it

 

 

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3 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

Also maybe see how they respond when you tell them an issue. Do they hold space? Do they care about your well being? Do they validate your feelings? 

Great tip. 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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3 hours ago, integral said:

Don't waist time with the average guy who has not lifted a finger in growth in development.

Very important. I appreciate the thoughtfulness. 

 


 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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You mentioned 'easy going' and 'sensitive'. That's actually a contradiction! A sensitive person is not going to be easy-going, they are going to be deeply affected by everything. Same for being 'understanding'. Someone who is 'understanding', is not going to be easy-going! They're going to be more of a serious personality-type.


"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." - Bruce Lee

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Posted (edited)

6 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

You mentioned 'easy going' and 'sensitive'. That's actually a contradiction! A sensitive person is not going to be easy-going, they are going to be deeply affected by everything. Same for being 'understanding'. Someone who is 'understanding', is not going to be easy-going! They're going to be more of a serious personality-type.

Easy going means someone who isn't hot tempered so I can always explain them anything anytime without him taking things out of control. Someone who has the maturity to be patient. 

In the past I had to deal with some hot tempered guys and it can be a bit of heavy duty to work with them.

A guy who is matured and understanding will most likely will also be sensitive. I guess those traits Kinda follow each other. 

Also I don't want the whole bundle. It's ok if one trait is missing. But if all the traits are missing then that won't be  good for the relationship. 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl..

Preety preety

 

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