Tim R

One-Upmanship

14 posts in this topic

We do it all the time, on the forum and elsewhere. I'm becoming aware of it more and more, and the more time I spend on the forum, the more I see it in others and myself. This whole "who's got all the answers"-game.

Maybe this is just a phase in my development rn, but I'll let you guys partake in it, so here's a share. I'm not even quite sure what to write without sounding as though I'm preaching to you, telling you to become aware of this game in yourself and others and helping to reduce it. Do it, don't do it, your choice.

Maybe this post is just another form of one-upmanship, a kind of non-one-upmanship. I don't know.

Does it feel good to play this game? Or does it feel more like having eaten too much chocolate? 


"Love is all that I can give to you ❤ Love is more than just a game for two!"

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JErVP6xLZwg 

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4 minutes ago, Megan Alecia said:

It's about power. 

Spirituality isn't real. It's only real in something like The upanishads. I don't think eckhart tolle knows what he's talking about.

But yeah, oneupmanship is always about power.

aka survival aka reality of life

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Yes it's all about the ego. Few people can transcend this stage.

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Alan Watts had a quote that I'll probably butcher as I can't remember, but it was along the lines of, the first person will make a statement, the second will disagree and the third will say that they should be above arguing. 

It's all ego games and I guess there's nothing wrong with them it just is good to be aware of your own games and what you do. And yes giving advice on this could be one upmanship as well as claiming I'm aware of what I'm doing, it really can go on forever lol. 

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Any form of response can be taken as one-upmanship, even agreement. In any situation you have to carefully consider if saying nothing at all is the more conscious response.


Consiousness is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is.

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There is a lot that can be expressed about that dynamic and even how to approach it.

Fundamentally though, I really try to just express myself genuinely and childlike.

I see it as more of a personal issue, the tendency to one up someone. It seems like a need for social validation for one's experiences. Yet, wouldn't we better off if we just validated ourselves? or even better yet let go of needing to be validated at all.

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*Pros and Cons of texting*

 

Pros?

Cons?

:x

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1 hour ago, DIDego said:

*Pros and Cons of texting*

 

Pros?

Cons?

:x

Huh?  ?

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This is outside my comfort zone and meet now my fear to make it inside my comfort zone.

I have now learned that texting have not the same meaning as writing. Language barrier.

How are we supposed to write to each other?

This answer can be a one-upmanship if you want to, it can also be the something else.

Let's do an experiment, in this article, long and detailed and is about texting.

Googled and found something to be able learn from my "mistake". 

https://the-artifice.com/creative-texting-writing-and-textspeak/

Let's discuss the article somehow, i dont know how.

How would you do it?

Let's be creative and play together.

 

 

Here is my way. from a guy that are more practical oriented, metals, heavy-duty works, build and repair stuff to mention some  and not skilled/schooled to master writing, irl i talk in a whole another league, especially in my native language.

Are my words or experiences less worth because lack of writing for example.

Or not reading the 1000 best books to qualify into enough knowledge.

When does we consider to read what shares with patient, despite with less perfect writing, but shares with sincerity, what shares can stem from life experience that involves spiral dynamics red or who knows there are maybe people here that have experience from lower also, able and want to share, that makes someone maybe an asset for who want understand the "theoretical spiral dynamics" deeper.

But almost impossible to explain with writing for who, that only see writing as tool to judge if someone are qualified enough and this can hinder you from get that puzzle piece you seek, from the one that shares nevertheless enough if read with patient and given the chance to thrive, if we understand that all can contribute with something, if we are given a chance to grow with your help.

I learned a lot and struggled read the article, would not read it usually, took a lot of time and effort, but i sincerely care to do my best and NOT be the best in this forum. I have grasped a sense of understanding, but understand the entirely article in detail, it is not possibly for me at my level of reading.

Not because a lack of IQ, EQ  aha ok there a whole bunch i did not have knowledge until now. PQ SQ whatever else. 

EMOTIONS

Sounds, body language, eye-contact, wibe's and a lot more are gone when texting.

This makes it more of a logic version of conversations.

Wrong choice of color or emoji, can make it impossibly for a color blind or someone that master how to express them self in texting, not even be able read this at all.

Yes, i totally agree with you.O.o Totally expressed without any thought and have a hard time now :D

4 hours ago, Heart of Space said:

Huh?  ?

Language are limited way to be able communicate properly.:S

Texting are totally wide open for decode in plenty of different way's, depending much on how it is written and who tries read it from what perspective.

 So most of what anyone tries to write deep, from a place of best interest for them self and who reads:x, will without a huge amount of texting, that no one bother read probably>:(, will therefor often deliver a distilled short text:ph34r:, that get's informal and black text on a white page.:|

Texting makes it very hard to feel the conversation, every step taken when posting, even when we dance together with our best intention, makes it hard to not step on each others toes.:x

The real authentic, that feels deep when sharing a conversation, that only can be understod between the line's, are mostly  gone here.:|

If i write more, are you going to read it, might already have passed that line? 9_9

Many dont bother texting the nuanced, because it can be misinterpret and cause you getting into trouble instead. 

 

With colors it is possibly change this very short black and white text into a whole different meaning, still very hard to really grasp and understand.

*Pros and Cons of texting*

 

Pros?

Cons?

<3  

6 hours ago, DIDego said:

*Pros and Cons of texting*

 

Pros?

Cons?

:x

Judge?

EGO?

//:x

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1 hour ago, DIDego said:

This is outside my comfort zone and meet now my fear to make it inside my comfort zone.

I have now learned that texting have not the same meaning as writing. Language barrier.

How are we supposed to write to each other?

This answer can be a one-upmanship if you want to, it can also be the something else.

Let's do an experiment, in this article, long and detailed and is about texting.

Googled and found something to be able learn from my "mistake". 

https://the-artifice.com/creative-texting-writing-and-textspeak/

Let's discuss the article somehow, i dont know how.

How would you do it?

Let's be creative and play together.

 

 

Here is my way. from a guy that are more practical oriented, metals, heavy-duty works, build and repair stuff to mention some  and not skilled/schooled to master writing, irl i talk in a whole another league, especially in my native language.

Are my words or experiences less worth because lack of writing for example.

Or not reading the 1000 best books to qualify into enough knowledge.

When does we consider to read what shares with patient, despite with less perfect writing, but shares with sincerity, what shares can stem from life experience that involves spiral dynamics red or who knows there are maybe people here that have experience from lower also, able and want to share, that makes someone maybe an asset for who want understand the "theoretical spiral dynamics" deeper.

But almost impossible to explain with writing for who, that only see writing as tool to judge if someone are qualified enough and this can hinder you from get that puzzle piece you seek, from the one that shares nevertheless enough if read with patient and given the chance to thrive, if we understand that all can contribute with something, if we are given a chance to grow with your help.

I learned a lot and struggled read the article, would not read it usually, took a lot of time and effort, but i sincerely care to do my best and NOT be the best in this forum. I have grasped a sense of understanding, but understand the entirely article in detail, it is not possibly for me at my level of reading.

Not because a lack of IQ, EQ  aha ok there a whole bunch i did not have knowledge until now. PQ SQ whatever else. 

EMOTIONS

Sounds, body language, eye-contact, wibe's and a lot more are gone when texting.

This makes it more of a logic version of conversations.

Wrong choice of color or emoji, can make it impossibly for a color blind or someone that master how to express them self in texting, not even be able read this at all.

Yes, i totally agree with you.O.o Totally expressed without any thought and have a hard time now :D

Language are limited way to be able communicate properly.:S

Texting are totally wide open for decode in plenty of different way's, depending much on how it is written and who tries read it from what perspective.

 So most of what anyone tries to write deep, from a place of best interest for them self and who reads:x, will without a huge amount of texting, that no one bother read probably>:(, will therefor often deliver a distilled short text:ph34r:, that get's informal and black text on a white page.:|

Texting makes it very hard to feel the conversation, every step taken when posting, even when we dance together with our best intention, makes it hard to not step on each others toes.:x

The real authentic, that feels deep when sharing a conversation, that only can be understod between the line's, are mostly  gone here.:|

If i write more, are you going to read it, might already have passed that line? 9_9

Many dont bother texting the nuanced, because it can be misinterpret and cause you getting into trouble instead. 

 

With colors it is possibly change this very short black and white text into a whole different meaning, still very hard to really grasp and understand.

*Pros and Cons of texting*

 

Pros?

Cons?

<3  

Judge?

EGO?

//:x

Huh? 

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9 hours ago, DIDego said:

Language are limited way to be able communicate properly.:S

Texting are totally wide open for decode in plenty of different way's, depending much on how it is written and who tries read it from what perspective.

 So most of what anyone tries to write deep, from a place of best interest for them self and who reads:x, will without a huge amount of texting, that no one bother read probably>:(, will therefor often deliver a distilled short text:ph34r:, that get's informal and black text on a white page.:|

Texting makes it very hard to feel the conversation, every step taken when posting, even when we dance together with our best intention, makes it hard to not step on each others toes.:x

The real authentic, that feels deep when sharing a conversation, that only can be understod between the line's, are mostly  gone here.:|

If i write more, are you going to read it, might already have passed that line? 9_9

Many dont bother texting the nuanced, because it can be misinterpret and cause you getting into trouble instead. 

 

With colors it is possibly change this very short black and white text into a whole different meaning, still very hard to really grasp and understand.

*Pros and Cons of texting*

 

Pros?

Cons?

Ah I think I understand.  You're attempting to explore the medium of communication through text in a creative way that allows you to explore self.  Thank you kindly for your lovely response.  

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Maybe cause it's fun, a nice feeling of esteem/identity/ego through the perception, assertion and evaluation of superiority, and appreciation of believed worth 9_9

What's so bad or wrong about that?

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