BornToBoil

Age difference in a relationships

125 posts in this topic

@soos_mite_ah  she isn't going to depend financially on him. Our parents support her for now and then she already thinks about starting her own business. She is quite ambitious )


Sometimes the only thing you have to doubt is your own common sense

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4 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said:

 A lot of girls "date" older men in secret anyways so *shrugs* 

I wouldn't say "a lot". Especially not when older is more than 3-4 years.

Most actually like much better guy around their age.

But surely, some do. It's quite the minority, though.


“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” - Rumi.

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13 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I wouldn't say "a lot". Especially not when older is more than 3-4 years.

Most actually like much better guy around their age.

But surely, some do. It's quite the minority, though.

OK! 

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32 minutes ago, Ibgdrgnxxv said:

Teachers who shows the slightest sign of perversion will be kicked regardless of whether they are a teacher or not. 

Not at the U.S. college / University level. Male professors can show low levels of perversion under the radar. And a small percentage of female students flirt with their male professors. I'd say about 5% of my female students flirt with me. I can flirt back at a low intensity. Yet if it goes to far, there are consequences.

32 minutes ago, Ibgdrgnxxv said:

This is why I love female teachers. 

Female teachers are awesome. There is a different dynamic with female teachers and their students, in terms of sexual energy. Yet I'm not as privy to that insight.

32 minutes ago, Ibgdrgnxxv said:

Teachers have gained the student's trust and respect to teach. 

I only said this because its online.. 

This is if I were to go back to that age being nineteen. 

That is also true. It's not either / or. Trust is a big component of teacher / student interactions. For example, many students have social anxiety issues and they will not speak up unless they trust the teacher will be supportive. 

As well, very light flirting does not necessarily break trust. Have had many moments with female students in which there is a wink or smile that evaporates. There is a sense of innocence and genuineness to it. 

24 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I wouldn't say "a lot". Especially not when older is more than 3-4 years.

Most actually like much better guy around their age.

But surely, some do. It's quite the minority, though.

The age of their father has a big impact on what counts as "old" to them. 20 y.o. females with 42 y.o. fathers see males males 40+ as "old". Yet 20 y.o. females with 56 y.o. fathers generally don't see 40 as old. Nearly all the female students that have flirted with me have relatively old fathers. The ones with younger fathers generally see me as a father figure. 

I've the 500+ female students I've had, I'd estimate only about 2-5% express overt acctraction toward above average male teachers 15-20 years older. There can also be a power dynamic. The intelligence, success and authority of the teacher can be "sexy" to some female students, without strong physical sexual energy. 

That's just my observations in a college setting. 

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I can't believe that people are supporting this. It's obvious that it's very odd that he is dating a 19 year old. I myself wouldn't date someone 21, let alone 19. 

It's not going to end well. But to each his own. 

To me it screams red flags all the way, if he was good, he wouldn't lied about the most standout factor here - age. That's a huge bad signal already. 

He seems too sneaky to me. Add into it that he is a teacher obviously to really young students. 

This thing doesn't look good from any angle, find any justifications that you might, but the simplest thing here is to notice how weird this is. 

All these long long discussions when it's so simple. 

 


INTP loner....... Nothing else but to enjoy  the rest of my dream. Love it. 

Preety preety

 

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Pricnce Charles was 30, Dianna was 18, that marriage was a fucking disaster 


"You have to allow yourself to not know"- Peter Ralston

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2 hours ago, Username said:

@Leo Gura It's strategic thinking. There is too much work to create actualized.org just to find a good girlfriend.

If only you knew how much sex I sacrificed to create Actualized.org


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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@Preety_India well, we will see how it goes. But thank you for your concern :)

Also thanks to everyone for your inputs, I didn't expect this thread to explode like that, haha


Sometimes the only thing you have to doubt is your own common sense

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@Keyhole quite a lot to be honest:

- They are both stage green (at least he seems to be from what my sister says)

- they are both vegans

- they are both into yoga, meditation, etc., (they even do it together sometimes)

But I will ask him about that directly

 

Edited by BornToBoil

Sometimes the only thing you have to doubt is your own common sense

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Weird behaviour and I'd be concerned if it was my daughter 😪 Even if it doesn't seem like a toxic relationship, it's just strange like he's playing out a fetish or very insecure that he had to choose someone so young to dominate??

But I guess people emotionally mature at different ages too (in terms of your sister) but I personally had no experience with guys at that age and probably would've been easily influenced tbh

I don't care about age now (not impressed or influenced by it for example), as a lot of young girls also feel like they're worth more if they attract older guys

 

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10 minutes ago, Moon said:

a lot of young girls also feel like they're worth more if they attract older guys

Being an intelligent, successful English teacher could also add worth. 

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29 minutes ago, BornToBoil said:

@Leo Gura Do you regret it though?

In some ways I do. You're only young once.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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I remember in high school this girl was open with everyone that her boyfriend was like 28 when she was 17, maybe her family and stuff were okay with it I have no clue (this is in the UK). No one said anything about it like it was weird, I just found it odd but never said anything. 

Edited by lmfao

"Piercing through the whitewash will turn into the truth someday
I want to keep believing in it stubbornly; It’s just my faith. The absolute truth."

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44 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If only you knew how much sex I sacrificed to create Actualized.org

Quality >>>>>>>>>> quantity. You need to raise your standards.

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12 minutes ago, Forestluv said:

Being an intelligent, successful English teacher could also add worth. 

Yeah true and who wouldn't want a more intelligent man haha

Ngl it's probably every girl's fantasy to be involved in that student-teacher dynamic, as a child it was always the hot young ones in their 20s that I fancied though xD Still messed up when those scenarios actually come true though. 

 

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