Preety_India

Past forum entry Chapter 1

7 posts in this topic

. Entries for future learning. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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On 11/19/2019 at 3:33 PM, Preety_India said:

Yea totally true. The karmic circle. I have my own saying for that. I don't know how much people believe in it but it goes like "you attract the energy you create"... I see this happening everyday. This is how the karmic cycle begins and end. Life for example if you say a lie, or have sex without the motivation of love, you have created a karmic energy in the moment. This karmic energy stays in the environment. 

Now after a few days either your partner or you realize the truth that the relationship has no true value and the sex was without love. At this point the karmic energy manifested itself as an outcome. 

Now understand this. This is where it gets important. The reason you attracted a partner who also showed similar karmic pattern is because of your own karmic energy created by you.. "you attract the energy you create".... If you had created the energy of truth, your karmic energy would have represented truth and attracted a truthful partner in return. Because the karmic energy you create has to find a way to expose or manifest itself. So it ultimately gets exposed or manifested in a situation that has been gradually attracted by it for the purpose of expression or final outcome or exposure. Now if you expressed the karmic energy of great friendship you will attract a great friend. You created the karmic energy of sex without love so you were gradually taken to a situation where you realize that both you and her were using each other for sex without love leading to guilt. This guilt situation was attracted by your initial karmic energy and also by her karmic energy. That's why such a situation came. 

Hope it makes sense now

 

 

On 11/19/2019 at 3:43 PM, Preety_India said:

This is my own thinking that I got one day during my early morning insight meditation. 

I do early morning meditation to get insights and pour them into my journal later. 

I get lots of insights the more I meditate. It needs intense meditation and focus. 

Thanks 

 

On 5/13/2020 at 3:12 AM, Preety_India said:

 

 

I can put forward one method to deal with the problem of uncertainty with respect to growth. 

This method is sorta simple. 

Keep 2 things in mind to follow this method. 

One is to have a very slimmed down basic framework like following a daily regiment or routine or discipline which will consist of good diet, regular exercise, regular work, some time with nature, good sleep and healthy lifestyle devoid of toxic things like video games and all that. 

And the second is to invest at least 2 hours a day in spiritual growth little by little every day. And to keep in mind that spirituality is like an ocean and spiritual growth and learning is infinite. Once you realize that it's infinite learning then you are not very with earning spiritual Mastery. You can take it nice and slow every day and also be proud of your spiritual growth. At the same time this dedicated amount of fixed time towards spiritual growth is not interfering with your daily self actualization routine. 

 

 

 

On 5/16/2020 at 3:22 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Preety_India

I am an Aquarius, but (I am not that good at astrology), I have really strong Lion in me (moon sign and I am also Lion ascendant, so, from what I understand, that's how people see me, or how I show myself to people). Aquarius is a part of me that is freaky, bright, looking into the future, outgoing, and brilliant. The lion is this proud, brave, warm, and bold part of me. 

I am really positive and outgoing person. Maybe this forum makes me look like I'm nihilistic etc, but it's just a stage of my life when I'm after dark night of the soul, a spiritual awakening experience, and also changing place of living. Also - I use this forum mainly to deal with my problems and to find solutions to them, that's why my posts are mostly, umm, negative. 

My Twin Flame (or false Twin Flame, I don't know) was a Mary Magdalene, I was taking part in some kind of Christ template where I was a Christ, my Twin Flame was a whore (literally) and my friend betrayed and blocked me, another narcissist, a Juda lol. 

Right now I am following one channel where this woman is talking about Soul Flames, I am more sceptic about it now, I'm just checking her YouTube social posts, but they align with me a lot (energy-wise, she could not just make this stuff out). I am not sure if that is true or not, I am aware, that it might be just a hard case of oneitis. That's why I try not to give too much attention to it, just working on myself and my purpose, so that this neediness could die in me. But that's like the hardest path I could take, but also a wise one I think. It makes me really strong and my personality is becoming really powerful thanks to that, but, as I said, it's not easy to walk this path.

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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@28 cm unbuffed I had liked some of your posts. Just quoted to re-read them. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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On 6/6/2020 at 1:41 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Leo Gura

Let's say, that this is how it works. Our Universe is the biggest farse and theatre that ever existed, it's so complex and multidimensional and complicated, just so that God could delude himself into believing that it's all true. 

But why he does it over and over again?  

Just out of boredom? That would make him a masochist (or sadist, depends on how you look at it) to enjoy watching all of this shit.

 

Btw - isn't it strange, that the happier version of existence, is when you are fully disciplined, just acting like a robot, doing the same things over and over again, just better each time? I don't get it, why would that be the best dream to dream, what a stupid imagination. Life is fucking bizarre lol

 

On 6/6/2020 at 1:51 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Leo Gura

Fuck me, that's art. That makes perfect sense, 

But at the same time, it's really sad, that God is all alone and there is nothing that he can do about it, other than deluding himself, sigh.

 

On 6/6/2020 at 2:30 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Leo Gura

So, from what I understand, Mahasamadhi is being presented to you, after you do all the work that was to do and experience for this life, and you can leave and die. It is up to you if you want to leave or stay and enjoy this dream more. Am I right?

 

On 6/6/2020 at 4:45 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Juliano Zn

Imagine you are having a dream. You are a dreamer, so the dream is within your head. So, technically, your dream is you, because it's in your head. 

 

On 6/6/2020 at 5:04 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Leo Gura

Isn't it solipsism? Isn't it an egotistic way of looking at reality? This one sounds more convincing to me:

 

 

On 6/6/2020 at 5:09 AM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Leo Gura

So, I am the only experience there is, you are just a part of it. Your experience does not exist. Only mine does. Right?

 

On 6/7/2020 at 4:49 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@mandyjw

So you're telling me, that Neo was wrong and Cypher is right? Deluding yourself is the correct answer? 

No, let me correct that, you're saying, that they are both right, it's about perspective and the deluded one is wiser, whilst being stupid, because it's deluded. Life is a paradox and shit?

 

On 6/7/2020 at 4:47 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@Someone here @Javfly33

Dunno guys, I tried everything, and if Universe is playing this game since forever and it has an infinite number of perspectives and it has seen everything, and it never ends and it lasts since always and will last forever and ever - what's the point? 

Yeah, I know, it's about JOURNEY, it's about here and now, it still doesn't convince me. 

There's nowhere to go and nothing to do, great, why not just kill yourself? Oh, I forgot, there's only me and I will probably reincarnate and have to live through this again and again. I'm stuck and Universe is stuck, what a fucking farce.

 

On 6/7/2020 at 3:28 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@deso

I had an existential crisis when I was really young, too young for that shit. I then tried everything, fucking, drugs, video games, getting money, getting things, working on my looks, psychedelics, cold water, diet, breathing exercises, I even experienced an awakening and I still don't give a shit.

Life is a senseless illusion, I'm tired of looking, as I've seen and done everything and it's still not worthwhile for me. 

 

 

On 6/7/2020 at 2:37 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@jimwell

In the past I was really fascinated by Leo, I watched tons of his videos, and now, the Mahasamadhi event that he described, or whatever the fuck it was showed me that I am on exact same level when it comes to spirituality as he is. I experienced this (whatever it was) too. And I made that progress in 2 years, that he did in 6 while living in America and being a millionaire when he started. I had nothing and I didn't go to any seminars, didn't meet any gurus, I did it all by myself, so he's not my idol or anything. He still doesn't see his god complex after all these years, that's my opinion. Yeah, dude, we get it, you are god, but at the same time - you're not.

This thing, that I'm describing, maybe I was too prideful to prove you something, but it's just like that: you stop seeing people as people. You see their soul, who they really are. Why they do what they do. You start to see life as a movie, a theatre of life, like Marcus Aurelius puts it. Everyone is here just to play his role and you can see it clearly. That's what I meant. Abusive father, and his son, that even after all of this crap, that happened to him MADE IT AND BECAME A GENIUS! WOW! WHAT A GREAT STORY!

Life / God is like a piece of art and battle between good and bad, yin and yang and it's just God playing with himself, having tons of fun with it. And it's all out of love, he fights, kills, rapes himself, betrays himself, just so he can then defeat himself FOR LOVE. He fights for it and discovers it's the only thing worth living over and over again. Plus - it's all just a dream and there is nothing really, it's all an illusion. Love and delusion are the same things, really, and I'm not being neurotic or anything here - the fact is, that life is just a movie that god created for himself to watch. 

When you become enlightened you probably are becoming aware of that 24/7, and you just enjoy the show and don't give a fuck about characters anymore. Clap, clap, clap. 

Truth isn't so beautiful, fancy, colorful, or whatever. The truth is, that there is only void aware of itself, trapped with itself, so it created this dream to amuse itself. And that's the only way reality can be, but that's another topic. And I don't understand it FULLY yet - if I did, I would be enlightened then. 

It's fucked up, but that's what it is. It's not that romantic, pretty, artistic, whatever to me. It's fucked up, it's just God deluding himself to not admit that he is alone and bored. But that's my personal opinion. Maybe after 5-MeO, you are becoming conscious that THIS IS SO FUCKING PERFECT!. So what? It's still an illusion, fancy one, maybe even THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ONE, so what? It's like masturbating to the most beautiful woman in the world. 

Ps. I watched just one of Spira's videos in my whole life.

 

On 6/6/2020 at 9:38 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@jimwell did you experience a spiritual awakening?

that's the explanation of how everything EVERYTHING is love

you either get it or you don't

 

On 6/6/2020 at 4:34 PM, 28 cm unbuffed said:

@jimwell

Look at this that way: everything is backward. Gandhi was the biggest egomaniac out there, just like all of the other people that serve humanity. Like, let's say, Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson - they witnessed spiritual awakening and they know what they are doing. Awakening shows you the truth - the more loving the soul of a person is, the worse person they are on our, human, ego level. It's selfless to beat your kid, it's the act of love because he will grow from that, become a stronger person, more independent, and more empathetic to people that suffer. 

I'm not sure if I can explain that to you because it's like telling someone - hey, look, the world is backward! Why do you think the most successful people are also kind, loving, genuine, etc.? They have a lot of love for themselves, they learn, study, work on their purpose, they help people. 
Saints are evil souls, evil people are saint souls. That's how it works. 

Example: some kid gets beaten by some bully in his school. This kid gets angry, starts working out, getting more manly, hitting on girls, etc.  Bully did this for him, without knowing. His soul was so selfless, that it decided, that it will come to this world, just to play the role of a bully, so that some kid can hit on girls and get ripped. Do you get it?

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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26 minutes ago, 28 cm unbuffed said:

Sooooooooooooooooo

It's like the highest level I ever achieved with my life I think in regards to life in general. I'm pretty smart guy, I'm intelligent, whatever, and it's like a state that went back to me after years of fucking around and doing stupid, random shit with my life, that was all just a way to cut off that feeling looks like lol.

I've been into psychology, philosophy and all of that stuff already when I was pretty fucking young, like 14-15 maybe and I found out then that it's all fucking nonsense and it all has no sense whatsoever. Then my IQ and life wisdom somehow dropped, or I made it to drop a lot by drinking, smoking weed, cigarretes, playing games etc. Now I got my shit back together, I eat well, exercise, work, etc AND HERE WE GO AGAIN IT'S ALL NONSESNE.

Don't get me wrong - I work a lot, I do a lot of things, I keep it positive, I'm a good person, etc. By it's all so fucking nihilistic. I try my best, trust me on that, I work as a motherfucking mule, learn a lot, etc. Yet -  let's be fucking honest - world is nonsense, people are fucked up animals, everything is fucked, everyone is fucked lol.

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuk

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

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