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About deso

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  1. Hey, basic question. Is there anything an enlightened being would likely not choose to do or loose interest in doing? For example could one being enlightened still consume alcohol and get drunk? Could you still have fun partying? Could you still be an massive extrovert joking around and talking bullshit all the time?
  2. I never said that I am enlightened. I’m not enlightened. I only said that I have seen too much for life being fun without it. I think Osho referred to it as ‘the point of no return’, which seems pretty accurate. I know how to ‘get there’, I understand it on a cognitive level, I understand it in my heart, but I’m not there yet. It feels like I can’t live without it anymore. But it also feels like enlightenment isn’t really what I want. I’m just conflicted and desperate.
  3. Just be honest with yourself. No need to get enlightened. No need to do anything. Just listen to your feeling, listen to what your gut is telling you. Do whatever resonates with you and you‘ll grow to where you wanna be in life. Always ask yourself: „Is this what I really want?“ It‘s not important what you do, only why you do it.
  4. Shouldn‘t we be able to literally do anything that we can imagine as being creators? Even regenerating body parts, reverse ageing, changing our physical appearance, heal people from incurable diseases, without the need of a doctor or scientist?
  5. @GrowthPilgrim it feels like I can‘t live without the truth anymore. And this is where a lot of fear also comes from, I don‘t really know who I am, I have almost no self acceptance and I‘m hugely unhappy. There‘s so many thoughts about how enlightenment will work out with all those uncertainties in my life. Even though it‘s only fear and I‘m pretty sure it will all be fine. So many thoughts about what happens when non resistance takes place. So many things I want to hold onto, even though I know there is nothing to hold onto.
  6. @Leo Gura Can you elaborate on that? I’m pretty sure I do, and at the same time I see that I don’t know anything at all. Am I still pretending to know something or to have some kind of control? Absolutely. To me it feels like I have already seen too much to go full ignorance again. When I have seen the simplicity of ‘getting’ there, when I have seen the light and that who I thought I am isn’t all that true after all, many interests suddenly just dropped away. All the ego games I’ve played don’t have anything to them anymore. All the distractions don’t have anything to them anymore. It feels like I’m still living in this old reality, but having seen it not to be true. Which feels pretty depressing. And yes, there are also still some personal development issues left.
  7. @bejapuskas thank you .. I know it can‘t be put in words, essentially it‘s only feeling more deeply, seeing clearly what is actually true to you. But yes, I fear what will fall apart, I fear that I will become a completely different person, I fear that I will loose interest in so many things that will eventually make me more of a loner than I already am. I fear going crazy for some time. And I feel like I missed out on playing some more ego games, that I‘m now not able to play anymore. I have to admit, I have no idea what comes after enlightenment. @Aquarius yes, I feel like I would have wanted normal life if I was honest. But I then didn‘t realize what I was doing. I didn‘t know what I was getting myself into. I‘m in a place of no return.
  8. Hey folks, I‘m out of words. My life turned into a nightmare. For a long time I have dealt with an over compulsive disorder, anxiety disorder and depression. There were times when I couldn’t even leave the house, because there was too much fear of something bad happening. I have been in therapy for a little more than two years, and in the meantime also heavily pursued enlightenment. I was a heavy thinker since a very young age. I always analized people, situations, everything. I just wanted to understand how things are truly, and why things are as they are. Now I got my answers, I know how to ‚become‘ enlightened, i could write books about this whole topic, but I just don‘t feel like this is what I actually wanted. I was thinking so much all the time that nothing made sense anymore - I was completely disconnected from my feelings. I never honestly asked my self what I wanted to do. My whole life I was just following other people, I never really made my own decisions. I was never honest with what felt good to me. Now I‘m sitting here not knowing what I want to do in life, not really knowing myself, because I was never honest with what felt good to me and who I actually wanted to be. My personality is a mess. And at the same time I have all this knowledge about enlightenment, not knowing what to do with it. I had so many realizations, that I just can‘t go back to ignorance anymore. I have seen too much. I lost interest in dairy, meat, alcohol, partying, music and lots of other stuff. I didn‘t really pursue enlightenment because I wanted it for the truth and truth only. I felt the need to be superior to everyone else around me, but I just ran away from my issues. My issues would have been easily solved if I just at some point would have started doing what I actually wanted to do. This whole anxiety and OCD crap mainly came from not being the captain of my life and not doing what I wanted to do, thus repressing my true feelings. I‘m now 22, have access to enlightenment, don‘t really want enlightenment, would like to stay in ignorance, but can‘t because I‘ve seen too much and now am now not able to live the life that I want to live. Additionally I had an circumcision, which takes away the foreskin of the penis. The doctor took away too much skin and my dick feels uncomfortable ever since then. This just adds to the hell I’m in, because walking and sex is uncomfortable at times.
  9. Happiness isn‘t bound to the body, sure. Nevertheless, if you’re self realized and get cancer you may still want to heal your body. If you’re missing an arm you still may want to grow a new one, just because it would be more preferable to have two healthy arms. It doesn’t mean it has to be no matter what.
  10. @Inliytened1 Do you believe siddhis to be true? @SoonHei Happy for your accomplishments! I feel like everything can be done when pure will and belief come together. @Nahm My problem with him is, he has never shown any evidence, even though he would be very well able to proof it with facts if what he says is true in the first place. You could aswell ‘regrow’ a leg if it was never amputated.
  11. Do you think it is possible to grow back e.g. an arm that has been amputated with your mind? This is something that has never been done before. At least there is no trustworthy recordings nor evidence for it. I‘m curious about your opinion/feelings on this very topic.
  12. @Amandine Wow, thank you for all the time you were putting into research and your post. I‘m amazed ❤️ It have been 8 months now, roughly. And yes, I have talked to Nahm. He‘s great you just made my day @belen I love you guys. ❤️
  13. Maybe people are wasting their time with playing video games, maybe they‘re not. There‘s too many layers for you to judge and too little you know about the person itself. And even if you did. Who are you to judge? If they have fun doing what they‘re doing, what‘s the issue? If you for yourself really seek growth, then you might look into acceptance. Not only of yourself, but also others. There‘s more to life than ‚growth’ only. Hell, sleeping would be a huge waste of time as well. Going to university can be a huge waste of time. Cleaning your room, also huge waste of time. If you think too much, everything expect your end goal will be a huge waste of time in your eyes. Don‘t be too hard on yourself. Enjoy every minute of your life. Life is not in the future, it is now. There is more to the little things than you might expect. Efficiency is at it‘s best if you do not care too much.