INIT

I want to kill myself.

67 posts in this topic

No purpose. No reason to be. Just there. Everything.

Yes, it is beautiful.

Yes, it is a miracle.

Yes, it's torturous.

Why shouldn't I? 

No reason not to be.

 

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Living feels like getting sucked into a cutting machine in slow motion

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You can't die bro. Might as well enjoy it. Do things you enjoy.  I have been in your shoes many times but i always bounce back up. Been cheated on have chronic diseases,poverty all kinds of problems. But i fight. You would also hurt the people who love you siblings,parents,etc.

And who knows if you kill yourself you might get a worse life,so don't risk it ;)

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On 3. 9. 2020 at 2:09 AM, INIT said:

Fuck god.

You don't need to be actively looking for God if you don't want to do it.

On 3. 9. 2020 at 1:58 AM, INIT said:

No purpose. No reason to be. Just there. Everything.

Yes, it is beautiful.

Yes, it is a miracle.

Yes, it's torturous.

Why shouldn't I? 

No reason not to be.

Why are you feeling this way?

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On 9/5/2020 at 9:57 PM, Bulgarianspirit said:

You can't die bro.

So if i put i gun to my head and pull the trigger i won't die? I think this body will not be anymore. Nor this phone that i am holding. Nor the "people" you accuse of loving me.

 

On 9/5/2020 at 9:57 PM, Bulgarianspirit said:

You would also hurt the people who love you siblings,parents,etc.

I don't fucking know what they are. You are referring to "me" as if you know who i am. You are referring to "me" as if i am a "human being". I'm not. I dont know  who i am. I don't. I dont know shit and im sick of anyone who claims that he knows. I have been labelled crazy by my closest friends, weird and awkward by society expressing whatever this moment is, no one can relate. Maybe i am insane, because if This is not fucking insane i have got no idea what is.

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On 9/5/2020 at 10:46 PM, bejapuskas said:

You don't need to be actively looking for God if you don't want to do it.

I dont seem to have any fucking option do i? I am. In order to type this fucking text right now i need to be first. 

Wherever i am, the fact is that I AM. 

Cant unsee that ever.

On 9/5/2020 at 10:46 PM, bejapuskas said:

Why are you feeling this way?

Because noone can relate to me and i can relate to noone. It hurts

Edited by INIT

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On 9/5/2020 at 7:31 PM, TripleFly said:

help someone

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha nice joke. Truth is, we are all fucked

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On 9/3/2020 at 11:07 PM, Meta-Man said:

Might aswell get enlightened then

You still dont get it do you?

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Snort 30mg of 5-MeO-DMT and decide if you still want to kill yourself after the trip 

 


"Buddhism is for losers and those who will die one day."

                                                                                            -- Kenneth Folk

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Don't be so sure that death is the end. From my pov, there's only life and even if you will kill yourself "here", you might still experience something or be in a hellish state forever... no one knows 100% what it could happen. As for the "we're all fucked" part, that's true, but if you don't try to be that change that you want to see in the world, then no one will care about this either. Have patience and maybe things will get better for you. Take care.

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@INIT  I am glad that you are still here to reply to us. From what you are saying it seems like your existence by itself is an unpleasant thing, why do you think that? You say that you have no idea what you are or what anyone else is, but you also say that if you would've committed suicide your body would not be there. Does that mean you would not be there also, or does that just mean that the body would not be there? Is that body yours, is it you, or what is that body?

Maybe you wouldn't be insane for not knowing who you are, who is there to judge? The others that you also do not know who the hell they are? You say that 'if this is not insane, I have no idea what is'. So does that mean this is a limited concept and outside of the concept 'this', there are also concepts that are not insane? Or are all concepts insane? Could you live without concepts, could there just be no concepts? For there to be a concept of 'I', there does not have to be an actual 'I'. There can be a concept of a monster under the bed without there being a monster under the bed. But the concepts can make you turn off the lights and sprint to bed asap. What makes 'you' different from the 'monster under the bed' idea? Again, who is there to judge?

3 hours ago, INIT said:

I dont seem to have any fucking option do i? I am. In order to type this fucking text right now i need to be first. 

Wherever i am, the fact is that I AM. 

Cant unsee that ever.

Because noone can relate to me and i can relate to noone. It hurts

You are talking as if 'you being' was a bad thing. Maybe you cannot unsee that, maybe you can, have you tried? 

When people call you crazy, does that immediately suggest that they cannot relate? Have you actually gave them the chance to relate in the first place? In order for someone to relate to someone else, there has to be a certain someone, right, and someone else to relate to. But what if there could be a believed thought of a 'false I' and overlooked 'true I', whatever that is, what would that mean? Would that for example bring up the possibility that someone could act as if they were not themselves and then if someone wanted to relate to them, they would just be missing the target by relating to the false I of the other person? Do you think it is possible that this is what is happening? 

You really don't need to understand anything, it's a matter of choice. One does not have to seek understanding if they don't want to.

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Have you thought that maybe not everyone has a strong determination to live, or their life isn't so easy like yours? If you're sitting comfortable on a couch and meditate about spiritual matters while eating Cheetos, that won't make you an enlightened Buddha. Posting dumb videos with horrible advices for a suicidal person can only reflect your level of understanding, so you're not superior in any way @Meta-Man

Edited by Member

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@INIT you don't exist. 

Did before you die.  It's gonna be  such a pain in the ass trust me when you discover that you never existed in the first place. But when you come out to the other side.. Trust me your whole life will never be the same again. But you have to be sincere and kill yourself alive completely. 

Edited by Someone here

"life is not a problem to be solved ..its a mystery to be lived "

-Osho

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I am in a very bad emotionall state right now, maybe the worst i have had in my life.

I am restless and cannot sit still. I have OCD and suicidel thoughts are in abundance these couple of months and especially this current week. I think that i am going crazy and started take some pills to dull my mind, they are without a prescription so i guess they are not something serios.

I dont want to kill myself because i am very attached to my friends and people i know and also where would i go? I think that i will end up back here so what is the point of suicide. I dont know what to do every day for me is a challenge..

I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL.... 

Edited by evgn

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