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Yonkon

GF and I are constantly breaking up

19 posts in this topic

We are together for 5 weeks and we ended the relationship 3 times already but always got back together soon after that. Wtf? Never had that before. We are very passionate and get easily scared I think. A red flag?

Edited by Yonkon

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@Yonkon 3 times in a little over a month? Sorry friend but you're going to have to cut it off permanently.

It's never going to work between you guys, no amount of passion is going to repair such an incompatible base.


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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@egoeimai @Roy

First I broke up because I didn't want a long distance relationship, but then I decided to give it a try 1 hour later. (now we live closer and its not a long distance relationship anymore) 

Then she broke uo because she couldn't trust me because I wanted to spend the day alone. After that she explained to me she has something like borderline, which makes her push me away when she gets scared. Then she broke up some weeks after because I was going out with friends and didn't reply for 8 hours. 

She is reflected and after those incidents she comes back and takes responsibility for her over the top actions and accusations.. She is quite clever and spiritual. I am really confused. 

Edited by Yonkon

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33 minutes ago, Yonkon said:

She is quite clever and spiritual. I am really confused. 

She isn't as spiritual as you think. She can't even handle the simple trust of letting you be alone or hanging out with friends (major red flag of insecurity), but she was willing to start a long distance relationship at the same time?

You aren't the confused one, she is.

End it man, spare yourself and her some pain.


"Your mind can never change, unless you ask it to. Lovingly rearrange, the thoughts that make you blue."

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@Yonkon

I don't know what to say here since the relationship has been for a very short time.. Too small window period to decide anything at all. 

Do you really like this person a lot? 

Do you see the potential for change? 

She seems a bit insecure but I can't really blame her since it's only the beginning. It also depends on how her past relationships were. Or how she was impacted by those past experiences. 

I would say that it's too early to decide what the other person is all about. Don't be too judgemental right away. 

Enjoy the relationship while it lasts especially if the both of you share some passionate chemistry. At least it will be worth the time invested in that person 

If problems crop up and they are too much to deal with, you can then decide to break up. 

Every relationship goes through its phases of lack of growth, immaturity, growth, mutual understanding, maturity. You cannot easily give up in such a short span of time because enough time hasn't passed for mutual understanding to grow. 

I remember my relationship with my third ex. I broke up twice in the span of 2 months in the beginning but the relationship lasted 2 years, yet this same relationship gave me my fondest and greatest memories. 

I don't regret having had this relationship. It was very enlightening, it was the most beautiful experience of my life and it helped me grow in a way that would have been impossible without it..

So not all relationships can be reduced to a mere decision of 'whether to have or not to have.' sometimes you get ready for the adventure (or misadventure), and you dive straight in and sometimes this risk pays off. Not all the time. 

You will have to take help of your own intuition. It would be a bit tacky to take advice straight from strangers on the internet and then break up. 

Or you could choose to simply wait. Wait and see how it pans out. And if it's not good and you're losing the spark of the relationship, then you need to let go and break up. 

A few arguments does not paint a whole picture of a person.

You will need some more time to get to know this person and your level of intimacy with this person. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

 INTP loner... .shy girl.. The devil loves me a bit too much. 

Quick access to journal entries

 

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@Yonkon let her go, best relationship is with oneself, be your own girlfriend... Give yourself the orgasms you want to give her... I can go on and on but you get what I'm saying. 

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39 minutes ago, Amit said:

@Yonkon let her go, best relationship is with oneself, be your own girlfriend... Give yourself the orgasms you want to give her... I can go on and on but you get what I'm saying. 

Dude, I get what you're saying but you know that's not applicable. You always need to sense the separate one even though the highest love is for "yourself"

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7 hours ago, Yonkon said:

A red flag?

Yes, what this tells you is that you two are simply not compatible personality-wise, values-wise, development-level-wise, etc.

You MUST look for fit in new relationships. Not all people and personality types or value sets fit together. You must screen harder for this on the front end before you two fall head over heals in love.

Muster the courage to admit to yourself that you two are not fit for each other, and move on. It is doing you both a disservice to try to make an unfit relationship work. It will not work. Relationships are hard enough even when you have great fit. When you have poor fit, forget about it.

FIT! FIT! FIT! Look for FIT!

When fit is found, the relationship flows naturally like a dance. Without fit it feels like grinding gears every week.


You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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You break up for 1hour? How old are you?

And how do you feel about her, do you love her? How do you see the relationship as a whole?

 

Its very personal. Some people like drama. If you are like that, go for it. But it will be very stressfull. Basically what the constant on and off thing will do is it creates so much highs and lows that you will become addicted to it. To a point where normal "healthy" relationships will become hard to deal with. Because they dont compare emotional whise. They wont have that roller coaster like feel, with all the ups and downs. So just be mindful of this and stay cautious.

This drama from her is also very feminine and if you are a man who can deal with it you could have an amazing relationship. Maybe not healthy but exciting and romantical haha.

 

@Leo Gura I also like fit girls xD

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@egoeimai ofc, he is a normal person, so it's not applicable for him, you and most other girls fall into the same category. But it is definitely applicable for certain highly realised beings like me, don't reject what you can't yet see. 

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@Amit

1 minute ago, Amit said:

@egoeimai ofc, he is a normal person, so it's not applicable for him, you and most other girls fall into the same category. But it is definitely applicable for certain highly realised beings like me, don't reject what you can't yet see. 

Ew grow up now okay? Only the thought that you're better makes you not better. Stop comparing.

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@egoeimai it's not just a thought and not a relative comparison but from an awareness pov. Some of us are more aware to the Truth than the rest of us, don't try to argue about it. 

Edited by Amit
Clarify

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1 hour ago, Amit said:

@egoeimai it's not just a thought and not a relative comparison but from an awareness pov. Some of us are more aware to the Truth than the rest of us, don't try to argue about it. 

You should've already known that you're no different than others. We are all one. Not separate. And the belief that you hold that you're better more aware or awake lol makes it look that you have to reconcile with your lower self. Recognizing it is the first step to freedom.

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@egoeimai No, I don't have to reconcile, I live in higher heavens, and can't give a fuck about petty humans just like gutter worms.

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@Amit You've confused awakening with narcissistic isolation, clearly evident in your comparison of humans to gutter worms. Come back down and integrate

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19 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, what this tells you is that you two are simply not compatible personality-wise, values-wise, development-level-wise, etc.

You MUST look for fit in new relationships. Not all people and personality types or value sets fit together. You must screen harder for this on the front end before you two fall head over heals in love.

Muster the courage to admit to yourself that you two are not fit for each other, and move on. It is doing you both a disservice to try to make an unfit relationship work. It will not work. Relationships are hard enough even when you have great fit. When you have poor fit, forget about it.

FIT! FIT! FIT! Look for FIT!

When fit is found, the relationship flows naturally like a dance. Without fit it feels like grinding gears every week.

I’ll be interested to see a new video from you about fitness. I think, not only me) 

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On 28/06/2020 at 2:37 PM, Yonkon said:

We are together for 5 weeks and we ended the relationship 3 times already but always got back together soon after that. Wtf? Never had that before. We are very passionate and get easily scared I think. A red flag?

Do you know what happens on breakups? As a bachelor, I can tell you. She's either on or out. This has disaster given the time line and repetition. 

Go no contact. Lose number. Meet other girls. When you have options, suddenly the fights go away real quick. Its a game changer. 

I don't do exclusive. I have no time for the nonsense like this. Its more than enough fun. 

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Sometimes intensity can be unbearable and can cause weird actions like that. Only you can know what is going on. I know one girl who can cause me to experience vibrations and other energetic / mystical stuff.

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